Random Oscar Thoughts . . .

. . . as I may be the only one that watches the show: - The opening of former Oscar hosts explaining why they weren't available was funny (especially Billy Crystal and Chris Rock sticking their heads out of a Brokeback-Mountian-like tent exclaiming they were "busy".) - Jon Stewart was funny, but seems uncomfortable. Then again, that is one tough audience. - George Clooney's acceptance speech for Best Supporting Actor made me laugh when he began "I guess this means I won't win Best Director" - a gig at the Academy for compensating an actor with a win when they overlook him in a different category. - Clooney also was the first to become political - taking a shot at those that call Hollywood "out of touch", by pointing out that Hollywood also was the first to champion civil rights. - The funny video clip of Tom Hanks explaining how the Academy limits the length of accepted speeches was not funny at all. - Ben Stiller showed up in a "green suit" to demonstrate the marvel of technical effects. It was stooopid but made me giggle. - Reese Witherspoon is hot, but she seems "fake". - I just saw Jennifer Lopez in the audience. (If you get a chance, check her out in her first major film, Selena) - Uh oh, Dolly Parton is performing a song for, uh, one of the nominees for "Best Song". I have never, ever understood the attraction of her voice. (And I think her lips have been injected with five pounds of collagen). - Ok, I just suffered through 20 minutes of "Best Short Film", "Best Animated Film", and "Best Costume Design". Who says the Academy Awards isn't exciting? - The Will Ferrell and Steve Carrell bit about "Best Make-Up" was mildly funny. - Random thought: Cinderella Man was cheated by being left out of "Best Movie". - Jon Stewart just had a funny line about the "Best Make-Up" award, Russell Crowe, and Cinderella Man : "I'm a surprised Cinderella Man didn't win that category. Imagine the difficulty in making Russell Crowe look like he'd gotten into a fight." - Rachel Weisz just won Best Supporting Actress for "The Constant Gardner". No one in America knows who she is. No one in America has seen "The Constant Gardner." I'm getting sleepy. - Lauren Bacall just came out to and talked about black and white movies followed by a five minute video clip of said old movies. She stumbled over her lines like she was lost. Anyway, I'm getting sleepier. - I wonder if more people watch the Golden Globes than the Academy Awards? - I think the black tux with a black tie (as opposed to the bow tie) is a good look. - The funny bit of the fake political commercials for Best Actress was very funny. (This was right out of Comedy Central). I'm waking up. - Ok, we've spent 10 minutes on "Best Documentary". I love documentaries but I'm getting sleepy again. But I did see "Walk Of The Penguins" and it was great. - Ok, five minutes on "Best Art Direction". I may not make it through the night. - In one of the many, many video montages tonight, I just heard a great line from Gregory Peck from "To Kill A Mockingbird": " You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view. Until you climb in his skin and walk around in it." Amen. - I love Salma Hayek. - This Academy Awards show could easily be reduced to 90 minutes. - Good gawd. Now they are showing me another montage - this time about "epics". Kill me now. - Funniest line of the night so far by Jon Stewart: "I can't wait until later tonight when we see the 'Oscars salute to Montages'". That guy has his thumb on the pulse of funny thinking America. - Jessica Alba can't even keep me interested in the "Best Sound Mix" award. And that's saying something. - I just lost 10 minutes of my life regarding an honorary award for Ronald Altman. [Edit: That's Robert Altman - told you I was getting sleepy} - I regret starting this Oscar blogging project. - Ok, now they have a musical performance of "It's Hard Out Here For A Pimp." Boy, is it ever. - That song just won the"Best Song" Oscar. Those boys seemed incredibly excited to win it. Kinda refreshing. Followed by Jon Stewart's line: "I think it just got a little easier out here for a pimp." And "Why are they the most excited people out here tonight?" - A pregnant Jennifer Garner almost fell down walking up to the microphone. Eeeek! [Edit: As someone pointed out, she's not pregnant. Hmmm.....her bad.] - George Clooney introduced the "who has died in the last year". I, oddly, like that segment. - Now 10 minutes for "Best Foreign Film". Uggggggh. - Now 10 minutes for "Best Film Editing". I wonder what's on ESPN? - Finally, it's time for "Best Male Actor". And the winner is: Philip Seyour Hoffman. He's come a long way since "Boogie Nights". - "Best Female Actor" goes to: Reese Witherspoon (the girl can sing). - There has not been one "memorable" acceptance speech all night. - OK, finally Best Motion Picture presented by Jack Nicholson (who's "cool" bit is getting old): "Crash"!!!! (Much to the shock of BrokeHeart Mountain). You know, I saw both of them and I'm not sure what I think. Both were good. Neither was great.