Amy Fisher & Joey Buttafuco

Surreal

It's done. He's a Cowboy. It's a $25 million / 3 year deal with $10 million guaranteed for the first year.

1810 / 287 Wreck

Looks like we have a huge wreck around 11:00 a.m. this morning at the most dangerous intersection in the county: 287 / 1810. Initial reports are a car and an 18 wheeler getting tangled up. Possible three person fatality. Developing . . . Update. Three confirmed dead. One male. Two females. All appear to be under 20. Wise County residents. Next of kin being notified. Update: The driver was a female with a Decatur address. The two passengers have yet to be identified.

Tori Spelling Tattoo

My Weekend Is Now Occupied

I just got this email: "Hi there lovely,I was searching the net few days ago. I am new to tbhis thing.and saw your profiable. I decided to email you cause I found you attractive. I might come dobwn to your city in few weeks.Let me know if we can meet each other in perason.I amb attractive girl. I am bsure you wobn't raegrebt it.Reply to my personal email at rlji@lookyouniceboy.info"

Other Than That, He's Happy

al-Qaeda Did Not Visit Harmon Park

From the Update: ‘HOAX BOMB’ — A Parks Department employee discovered an object resembling a pipe bomb this morning at Harmon Park in Decatur, Police Chief Rex Hoskins said.The object was taken to the police station, and the Denton Bomb Squad was called in. The squad detonated the explosive and classified it as a “hoax bomb.” “This was either an attempt to make one, or somebody wanting it to look like a pipe bomb,” Hoskins said. Question: You have something that looks like a bomb so you move it to another location and then have the bomb squad take a look at it?

I'm Going . . .

. . . to walk through a parking lot barefooted and step on a hypodermic needle. Oh, wait. Somebody famous did that today.

Your Best Bag Of Money Now

According to the New York Times (no link because subscription required): Joel Osteen . . . the pastor of Houston's Lakewood Church, one of the nation's largest congregations, and the author of Your Best Life Now: 7 Steps to Living at Your Full Potential. has signed a book deal with Free Press, an imprint of Simon & Schuster, that publishing insiders say is potentially one of the richest for a nonfiction book and could bring the author more than $10 million.

Things I Learned in the DMN Letter to the Editor Section

"I have never killed a man, but I have read a number of obituaries with a savage satisfaction." - Voltaire

$2.45

The price of gas outside of Walmart at lunch today.

Scam

CBS has been promoting that it will broadcast all of the NCAA Tourney games on the Web. Not that I was goofing off, but I tried to log on to check it out. Get this: They put you in line to see the games, assign you a number, and then start a 1:30 second counter. Once it reaches 0, you are repositioned in line. I went from 108,013 to 107,752 to 107,264 in four and half minutes. (There appears to be a way to pay $$$$ to bypass the line, but I don't care that much). Here's a screen shot.

Bombs, Bombs, And More Bombs

Yahoo! Alerts Yahoo! News Thursday, March 16, 2006, 9:34 AM CST BAGHDAD, Iraq (AP) The American military has reported that U.S. and Iraqi forces launched the largest air assault since the U.S.-led invasion against insurgents north of Baghdad.

I'm Still Alive

Do you ever use Google to search for your name on the web or in blogs? I just did and found out that someone who has my name is not doing well.

Oh, My!

From The Texas Lawyer Newspaper: "Vinson & Elkins answered the prayers of big-firm associates all over Texas by hiking its associate salary scale, raising first-year base salaries to $135,000 in Texas."

No Way

I've been seeing these signs stuck in the ground in north Fort Worth for 0turn.com. I looked it up and it's about some guy selling a mower. This line got my attention on the web site: At 0turn.com we only show equipment we carry in stock. Our prices are way to low for us to list on our site and to give out over the phone. To get our low no haggle price you must come see us. Whateva.

You Are The Tube

Purchase info here.

A Real Glass Eye

Here.

Misunderstood Lyrics

Worth a giggle.

Those Charles Schwab . . .

real person/animated ads are hypnotic. You can watch some of them here if you don't know what I'm talking about.

Pearl Jam . . .

. . . remember them? (The most waste of talent band in the history of ever.) Anyway, they have a new album coming out and this is the album cover. Suddenly, I want a fajita. (But I still stop down for "Jeremy" and "Better Man")

March Madness

The next two days are oddly weird, fun and depressing. It's Spring Break (which really means nothing to me) and the NCAA basketball tournament is firing up tomorrow. So at around 11:00 a.m. tomorrow morning, it will be the start of 48 NCAA basketball games played in four days. Some of those games are at the AAC in Dallas. I've already checked. It's sold out. So I'll just go to work like a regular guy.

My Spin Zone

The guy keeps writing books, the guy keeps getting more and more paranoid, but is this the best possible picture he could come up with for his next book that will be released in September? I think he may be near death. (And, buddy, lose the flag. It's cheesy.)

Google Calculator

In the Google search box type in any equation to get a quick result . . . 2232/12 34 * 45 232 + 8 + 76 57856/ 12

Think This Might Push Her Over The Edge?

"HOUSTON — Rusty Yates, whose former wife drowned their five children in a bathtub in 2001, said Tuesday that he is getting remarried." And I'd be a little worried about the sanity of the new bride.

Oddest Story Of The Night

"AUSTIN, Texas (AP) -- The reigning Miss Deaf Texas died after being struck by a train, officials said."

Sharon Stone . . .

. . . may be promoting her new film, Basic Instinct 2, by kissing a wall in Israel.

Bad And Good

From a story in the Star Telegram: The Tarrant County Commissioners Court approved temporary funding Tuesday to continue operating the county’s drug task force as state officials debate how to spend dwindling federal narcotics grant money. [Editorial Comment: That's a bad use of taxpayer money] The court agreed to spend $465,000 to fund the county’s narcotics team through June 30 — a 90-day stop-gap measure — while it awaits word from the state on its grant applications. [Editorial Comment: That's waaaay too much money] [Editorial Comment: Now the good news about your tax dollars] Federal grants, distributed through the Texas governor’s office to fund narcotics enforcement in Texas, have declined nearly 70 percent to $14 million this fiscal year, compared with $33 million in 2004-05, said Rachael Novier, a spokeswoman for Gov. Rick Perry.

Those "Tax And Spend" Liberals!!!! Oh....Wait...

Engagement Pictures

There were 19 engagement pictures (not wedding pictures) in the Lifestyle section of the Dallas Morning News this weekend. Only one guy had a tie on. That may be common. I've never really paid attention before.

More Dallas Morning News Stuff

Also in the Sunday paper was the story of Denise Day whose mummified body was found in a Dallas home a few weeks ago. I learned this about her: (1) She graduated from SMU in 1976. (2) She was married one time but it lasted only 11 months. (3) He ex-husband said, "My ex-wife was handicapped. She had trouble existing in the world you and I exist in." (4) The medical examiner has no idea what was the cause of death.

Two Different News Stories

(1) Goldman Sachs Group Inc. (GS) on Monday said Chairman and Chief Executive Henry M. Paulson Jr. received total compensation of about $38.8 million in 2005. (2) On March 12, 2004, someone shot and killed four people in eastern McKinney. Police are still looking for who killed Matthew Self, 17; Austin York, 18; Mark Barbosa, 25; and his aunt, Rosa Barbosa, 46. The current reward for tips leading to an indictment is $37,500. I'm not good at math, but I think the reward is 1/1000 of Paulson's salary. But I could be wrong.

Things That Change That I Wasn't Aware Of

Browsing the Dallas Morning News over the weekend, I learned that the golf course off I-35 in Denton (across from UNT's stadium and by the Radisson Hotel) was shut down in 2003.

Quick . . .

. . . who is Sirhan Sirhan? (Hadn't heard the name in years).

What's Wrong With This Picture

Not Exactly Cinemax At Night

It looks like the Feds were after some folks for an Obsenity violation based upon three videos. "The six men and six women [jury] unanimously decided that only one video in the case offended contemporary community standards. It depicted a woman being pierced repeatedly with needles. "During three days of testimony, many jurors were moved to tears while watching that film and the rape video. But they acquitted all three men on counts linked to the rape movie and a third video that featured urination and defecation." Oh, my! (Story)

Sporty Sports People . . .

. . . tell me that today is a big day in Dallas Cowboy Land. Keyshawn Johnson is due a $1 million signing bonus by 3:00 p.m. Some think the receiver will be cut. If so, that means the Cowboys might be after Terrell Owens. Juicy. Edit: Keyshawn was released.

Say Hi To Tony Soprano

The NCAA Women's Tourney will fire up this weekend. Texas A&M made it. So did TCU. And, amazingly, they will play each other in the first round. But, on a crazier note, they will both travel to Trenton, New Jersey to play that game.

Sporrrtttttzzzzz

For fans of "The Ticket" and/or Greg "The Hammer" Williams from Boyd, you will want to read this.

Six Flags

There was a minor accident of a ride at Six Flags over the weekend. No big deal it seems. But this sentence was in a story in the Dallas Morning News: "Six Flags Over Texas has had one guest fatality since the park opened in 1961. A woman drowned and 10 others were injured in 1999 when a Roaring Rapids raft capsized." Is that right? As a kid, I remember a pretty serious accident with the old Big Bend roller coaster - I could have sworn someone was killed on that ride. And my other fading memory is about the old Sombrero ride - but I think that might have been an employee that was killed or injured.

Tara Reid

Don't Call It A "Civil War"

"BAGHDAD, Iraq - Police found at least 72 bodies killed by gunfire in Baghdad in the past 24 hours — a gruesome wave of apparent sectarian reprisal." This is going soooooo well.

But What Do I Know

The Catholic Church is working on Sainthood Path for the late John Paul II. To do so, there must be proof of a miracle attributed to the Pope after he has died. Call me a skeptic. Unless you define "miracle" very loosely.

"Big bucks! No whammies!"

The host of the TV game show, Press Your Luck, has been killed in a plane crash. Peter Tomarken was 63.

March Madness

Well it is time for everyone to become a gambler for at least four weeks. I see that Texas A&M has made the NCAA Tournament for the first time in a long time. But I felt old (once again) when I learned it was 19 years ago that they earned an automatic invitation to the tourney by beating Baylor (yep, Baylor) in the SWC Championship Game on a Sunday afternoon at Reunion Arena. And I was there in 1987. (Someone actually gave me tickets at church that morning).

Shaq Turns 34

At least it not hard out here to look like a pimp.

I'd Rather See The Three Fat Guys

Top Ten Children's Books Of All Time

1. Charlotte's Web, E. B. White; illustrated by Garth Williams (1974) 2. The Outsiders, S. E. Hinton (1968) 3. Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing, Judy Blume (1976) 4. Love You Forever, Robert Munsch; illustrated by Sheila McGraw (1986) 5. Where the Red Fern Grows, Wilson Rawls (1973) 6. Island of the Blue Dolphins, Scott O'Dell (1971) 7. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, J. K. Rowling (1999) 8. Are You There, God? It's Me, Margaret, Judy Blume (1972) 9. Shane, Jack Schaeffer (1972) 10. The Indian in the Cupboard, Lynne Reid Banks (1982)

Lake Bridgeport . . .

. . . 12 feet low as we enter a window of three months for rain. (And I've heard some radio ads for North Star Pointe - the development that used to be part of the boy scout ranch on the north side of the lake. I bet it's a little hard to move those expensive lots right now).

Elizabeth Rohr

The Star Telegram has a comprehensive article on this "unusual" doctor who was convicted of animal cruelty in Wise County. She is back in court today in Denton. (Old Messenger photo by Joe Duty) [Edit: Oops. Cody Duty]

Beast

In the under-the-radar world of women's college basketball, you have to see Oklahoma freshman center Courtney Paris. She was named MVP for the Big 12 Tourney this weekend. Oh, and she is 6'4" and 240 pounds.

Spring Break Special

The Only Thing Better . . . than one girl doing a belly shot off of another girl, is a good ol' sandwich.

It's Been A Long Weekend . . .

. . . as I scratch my head, for no reason at all, about vintage Britney gawking at Brad Pitt.