My Clubs Are In The Closet Somewhere

Back when I used to golf (very badly), one the joys was seeing the "Cart Girl" coming towards me on the horizon. Little did I know you could rank such girls from across the State. And, dear Wise Countians, the closest one appears to be this one (but you'll have to tip her $251 to break her all time record). Men are pigs. :)

Miss USA 2006 (formerly Miss Kentucky)

Violent Punch

I have no idea what prompted grandma to punch this lady, but it was one heck of a blow. It's like a car wreck, you know you shouldn't watch it here.

I've Never Understood . . .

. . . how the property at the southeast corner of Hwy 380 and I-35 in Denton went undeveloped. Not anymore. From the Morning News: "The $850 million project, known as Denton Hillview, will feature a 1 million-square-foot, open-air shopping center similar to the new Firewheel Town Center in Garland. It will also include a 700,000-square-foot shopping center, a single-family and townhome residential area, a 30-acre campus for seniors, an amphitheater, a lake and park area, museums, a 10-acre area for hotels, and medical and office buildings."

"I'm (not) In Love With A 'Stripper"

This is what the second stripper looks like from the Duke-did-someone-get-raped-by-the-lacrosse-team scandal. Hmmmm. I think I'd rather hire someone from New Orleans' Nights if I knew where that was.

Number Crunching Gives Me Tired Head

From The Update: ROBIN HOOD - Decatur Superintendent Gary Gindt said Thursday, the Decatur school system should prepare to begin paying into the Robin Hood system next year. He said the district is likely to get Chapter 41 status, meaning the district would collect more than $305,000 per student in property taxes, which would make it subject for state recapturing. From an email: By my calculations, with 2,813 students in the DISD, the budget should be a little over $857,000,000 . . . . I don't think that's accurate . . . .

Nothing Like A Liquored Flight

So American Airlines gave away free tickets at the basketball game the other day? Southwest Airlines strikes back by giving away, on all of its flights, free......BOOZE.

The Great Robert Smith . . .

. . . of The Cure is 47 today.

An What Exactly Is That?

Vanna White has received a star on Hollywood's Walk of Fame. "I remember my parents telling me, at the age of 10, `You can do anything you want.'" Dad, we did it!" said White, 49,

Safe Happens

I love the new Jetta commercials that show normal folks driving down the road having a normal conversation and then......WHAM.....a crash happens. It's soooo jolting. The commercial touts the safety of the vehicle under a campaign labeled "Safe Happens". Youtube has one of them here.

Good News For Old Guys

Julio Franco, who played for the Texas Rangers from 1989 to 1993, hit a home run last night for the New York Mets. At age 47, he is the oldest Major League Baseball player to ever do so.

That Should Solve The Problem

"In [an] action on Wednesday, federal officials detained 1,187 illegal immigrants working in 26 states for IFCO Systems North America . . . . " What a coincidence! I'm sure this has nothing to do with the public outcry over illegal immigration. That leaves 11.999 million to go.

"Henny Penny"

Check out this great youtube clip from Jon Stewart's The Daily Show. Secretary of Defense Rumsfeld used the odd phrase of "henny penny" to dismiss news reports that the U.S. would invade Iran [edited] because of its nuclear weapons threat. I wonder if he has ever used the phrase "henny penny" before? Hilarity ensues.

Celebrity Cooking Showdown

Did any of you see this show the last three nights? I caught maybe five minutes of it, and it was horrible. A lot of "stars" running around a kitchen on a stage while an audience in the background exuded fake excitement and cheers. In one of the quickest axes I've seen in a while, NBC cancelled it after three shows (it was supposed to run tonight and Friday as well). "Hope and Fatih" [edited] is running in its place (not that that's much better).

Hold Me

"Fake Breast Doc" Might Be A Little Hard To Pull Off

This guy comes up with a brilliant scam that two women actually fell for.

Do You See "Good" Or "Evil"?

No Naked Bears

Baylor University is threatening to sanction any of its female students that pose for Playboy. I remember the same controversy erupting in the late 1970s. Some things never change.

Boom

I personally like being awakened at night due to a thunderstorm.

"Jump The Shark"

You often hear about how a television show has gone just a little too far when it has "jumped the shark". That's a reference to the Happy Days episode when Fonzie, literally, jumped a shark on water skiis. I have heard about for years, but never saw it. Until now. (And by the way, if you watch the show now you can only come to one conclusion: That was one bad TV show).

Rocket Man

A little bit of a gift tonight at the final Dallas Mavericks' regular season game at American Airlines. Between the first and second quarter it was announced that every fan in attendance would receive a voucher for one round trip ticket to anywhere American Airlines flies out of Love Field airport. That kinda limits your choices: Austin, San Antonio, Kansas City or St. Louis. But it's still pretty cool. In other news, American announced that it lost $92 million in the first three months of this year. Source: AA's press release

As You Pay $3.00 A Gallon

Lee Raymond, recently retired CEO of Exxon, has been in the news a lot lately once it was revealed he had been paid $686 million over 13 years for his fine service to the company. That comes to $144,573 a day. (And he'd probably want this photo re-shot).

I Think That's Funny

This is Seal and Heidi Klum driving away after purchasing a giant stuffed giraffe yesterday.

Killing Sex Offenders

So we have today's version of the Scarlett Letter: the list of people registering as sex offenders. Great idea, right? Well some brilliant guy in the northeast decided to kill two people he saw on the list (before blowing his own brains out). "Great!" you say. "We should kill all of them!" Right? Think again: One of the victims, 24-year-old William Elliott, was convicted four years ago of having sex with a girlfriend who was only days away from her 16th birthday.

Special Session

It's do or die for the Texas Legislature as they try to tackle school funding. It's good to know House Speaker Tom Craddick has introduced a variety of resolutions in support of this endeavor. Is it any wonder we are in such of a mess.

Texas Monthly Has Little Love For Tom DeLay

Tom Cruise . . .

. . . told GQ magazine that after his wife gave birth he would eat . . . OH, MY! I don't even know the appropriate utensil to use.

"Clerks" Sequel

I don't know what I think about this: There will be a sequel to the very, very funny movie "Clerks". It's called Clerks II. The trailer is here on youtube. But it'll be good to see Jay and Silent Bob again.

I Really Wish . . .

. . . there were some pics of Kelly Clarkson at the beach in a bikini and eating a hot dog. Well, guess what?

Kate Hudson is 27 Today

"Meetings" Talk

I have to be in a "meeting" at 7:30 a.m. That is too early to be doing anything. I detest meetings. Meetings give me Tired Head. Why do humans have this crazy desire to have "meetings".

"Lucy, I'm Home"

A fairly interesting story on the day that Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes (finally) welcomed a child. In 1953, at the height of "I Love Lucy", the real Lucille gave birth to her first son on the same day that the TV series showed the episode of Lucy Ricardo giving birth to "little Ricky". Fairly interesting stuff: The word "pregnant" was never uttered on the show since the producers felt it would be too controversial. And the show of little Ricky's birth was seen by 44 million viewers. I don't know what the population of the U.S. was back then (I'm too lazy to look it up but I know its 300 million now), but I bet that was a huge chunk of the population.

Worth A Giggle

A Fox 4 News clip made me laugh tonight. Apparently a little skirmish broke out this weekend in the stands of an Orlando arena football game. A "lady" ends up getting booted onto the field. I uploaded the video to youtube here. (I looped the clip of the lady going flying a few times at the end of the clip). Good stuff.

The Webby Awards

The nominees for the best web sites on the Internet for 2006 are here. It's proof there is not enough time in the day to look at everything you find interesting.

Movie Review

The Movie: Hustle and Flow The Plot: A small time pimp wants to make it big as a hip hop artist Language: About a million F Bombs and plenty of the "n word" with the "a" ending Nudity: About two seconds Coolest Part: The creation of the hip hop song "Whoop That Trick" Hottest Chick: A wheels off white girl ho who I think I saw at Walmart the other day Most Famous For: Wise County resident Ken Harrision's Letter to the Editor rant about the song "It's Hard Out Here For A Pimp" Did I Like It?: Absolutely Will You Like It?: Not if you think the confederate flag is about "our heritage"

Things You've Always Mistakenly Believed

For as long as I can remember, I have always referred to a certain skin condition as "enphentigo". A moment ago a very sweet lady at the courthouse, without calling me an idiot, told me it was actually "impetigo ". What else have I been mispronouncing all these years?

High Definition DVDs

Today is the first day you can buy high-definition DVDs. There's a slight catch: There are only two players available (one costs $499 and the other $799). And, get this, you have four movies to choose from: The Phantom of the Opera, The Last Samurai, Million Dollar Baby, and Serenity. (Hi-def can't even make Million Dollar Baby watchable). Source: DMN.

Noteworthy

A helicopter has crashed off of 380 on the west side of Denton. There's not much to it, but the DMN has a video of the scene on its web site. (Link).

An Actress From "Lost"

Nadia Comaneci

I haven't thought about the 1976 Olympic gymnast in quite some time. At least until today when Yahoo photos has an updated picture of her here.

Not Sure How We Missed This

A Boyd High Student was killed in a car wreck over the weekend in Azle. The Star-Telegram has the story here.

Dixie Chicks

Will probably appeal to only a few, but if you love the concept of Freedom of Speech, you have to check this out.

"Sealed Indictments"

ABC World News Tonight spent a great deal of time this evening on the meaning of "sealed indictments". (There's a crazy prosecutor in North Carolina who has indicted two Duke lacrosse players for rape of a drunk exotic dancer. The indictments are currently "sealed".) In Texas, a sealed indictment means only one thing: The accused hasn't been arrested yet so if the indictment were to be made public there is a chance the defendant might flee. Once the arrest is made, the indictment becomes a public record. This public service message . . .

Belated Easter Cartoon

But I'd Pay $10 For Good Salsa

Oil was up over a dollar a barrel today breaking the $70 barrier. Gas will crack $3.00 a [edit] gallon next week and then may go higher. I don't understand supply and demand. I'm an economics idiot. (I still remember my brother - as we were standing in line at 5:00 a.m. to buy Journey tickets - telling me in 1981 that it was important that I understand the "law of diminishing returns". I didn't then. I don't now. ) "Supply" should only be a factor if there are shortages. About 15 years ago there was a shortage of lumber - you had to wait to get it - and prices went through the roof. There is no shortage of oil. "Demand" makes a little more sense. Prices are set at what the market will support. A star athlete is paid $5 million a year because someone is willing to pay it. With that being said, over the last 10 years most Americans would have paid more than the standard $1.50 - $1.70 a gallon because they had to have it. Yet prices remained low. So why the sudden rise in prices now? I don't understand what is going on.

I Think I'm Actually Tired Of Seeing This Girl Everywhere

Sports Radio News

Dale Hanson is leaving The Ticket for ESPN radio. An explanation is here. I personally won't miss his twice a week blathering of his commute from Waxahachie, having trouble at airports, or how great Troy Aikman was. But I still like him on TV. (Wow, look for an image of "Dale Hanson" through Google image search and not a single picture turned up). Edit: In the spirit of kick me while I'm down, I won't change the above post. Idiot. Idiot. Idiot.

Tom Cruise Still Crazy

Here's a one minute youtube clip of Cruise being interviewed by Diane Sawyer (it aired a couple of days ago). He gets email messages on his Blackberry regarding the status of Katie Holmes' pregnancy and he shows it to the camera. ABC had to blur out either the email address or cell phone number.

Record Heat (Source: Dallas Morning News)

"Giddy Up, Again"

"Lone Star Park at Grand Prairie concluded opening week for its 10th Spring Thoroughbred Season with a 17.9% gain in attendance and 5.8% jump in betting compared to 2005 business levels. ... All told, 46,164 customers attended Lone Star Park Thursday through Sunday compared to 39,154 in 2005. Betting, both on and off-track, totaled more than $10.8 million versus $10.2 million a year ago."

Jernnifer Garner is 34

So Wrong

Dear Lord, Please Let This Woman Give Birth

No Crime

This is based upon the comments to the Random Pic blog below. Yes, a man was arrested last week in Decatur for "rubbing himself" on a slide in a park. The bad news is that the most he can be charged with is a Class C Misdemeanor (Disorderly Conduct) punishable only by a fine up to $500. Not to get graphic, but the facts are that he rubbed himself over the clothes. Nothing was exposed. With that, you get yourself a Class C - the equivalent of a traffic ticket. Don't yell at the cops. Don't yell at the prosecutor. Don't yell at the judge. They are bound by the law and that's what the law is.

"Go ahead and arrest me. She is in there. I chopped her up."

The sickest crime in quite a while. (This was the subject of an Oklahoma Amber Alert on Friday).