Forbes List of 20 Richest American Women In Entertainment (Who Aren't Pretty Much Retired)

1. Oprah Winfrey (sheer television anthrax) 2. J.K. Rowling (makes me sleepy to think about her life) 3. Martha Stewart (beats me down, but not as much lately) 4. Madonna (she scares me) 5. Celine Dion (That Las Vegas gig was a good idea) 6. Mariah Carey (Hot) 7. Janet Jackson (Still hot) 8. Julia Roberts (Overrated) 9. Jennifer Lopez (Triple Bootylicious) 10. Jennifer Aniston (Getting better with age) 11. The Olsen Twins (Luckiest girls in the history of ever) 12. Britney Spears (Train wreck. I love train wrecks) 13. Judge Judy (Sign the apocalypse is upon us) 14. Sandra Bullock (fading fast) 15. Cameron Diaz (ditto) 16. Gisele Bundchen (I'll admit I don't know who this is. Edit: I'm an idiot)) 17. Ellen DeGeneres (Ever seen that silly dancing stuff at the start of her show?) 18. Nicole Kidman (Disinterested) 19. Christina Aguilera (I think I'm responsible for her Wise County fame) 20. Renee Zellweger (I like this girl in the oddest of ways)