What Is Going On Here?

There's nothing I enjoy more than waking up at the crack of dawn to the sweet voice of Fox 4 morning personality Megan Henderson. That voice will sadly be on the TV that I left on all night, but I know she secretly wants me. It gives me a reason to live.

But for two or three days in a row she has been replaced by new hire Krystle Gutierrez. This is unacceptable. For two reasons:

(1) First, what is up with that name? At first I was certain that she had to be Hispanic but then I realized she probably engaged in a practice that is illegal in Wise County: Interracial marriage. But that doesn't explain that first name. Krystle? How about a good old American spelling of "Crystal"? Obviously, her parents or uppity which means she is probably uppity. Strike one.

(2) She's kind of hot, but not quite the wise arse that Megan is. But I decided to check her out. I learned on her blog (lord, those corporate censored blogs are painful to read), that she recently got married. I had figured that out already due to the Hispanic thing (see above). But what really shocked me was that I learned she was married to some guy on the Fox News Channel (the big one)! She wisely refused to name him (since she is probably having second thoughts), but she did reveal that he covers stories "in the Southwest." Megan would never marry a Fox Network guy. Strike two.

Megan, come back soon. I'm reaching for the Paxil. Things aren't good.