So Rethinking

It's 5:30 on Saturday morning.
The Cowtown Half Marathon starts at 7:30.
I'm up because I intend on running it.
But I want to go back to bed.

(Closest thing to a haiku I can pull off.)

Edit: I did it. More later. Getting dark. See tunnel. See white light. Uh oh.

Edit #2: A friend sent me this pic and asked me if I saw the Sheriff running. Heck, he might be in that pic somewhere.

Edit #3: Race Results

Giggle

(Original version of the song here.)

They Got Arrested In The First Place?

I will soooooo not be breaking out the Cabbage Patch in Lubbock anytime soon.

(Story.)

Comment Purgatory

I can tell there are 8 Comments that have been submitted but that I can't see. I'm sooooo thinking about moving off this sorry blog host.

Calling All HS Soccer Volunteers

"Allie Stange [of the Denison Yellowjackets] scored seven goals, five in the first half, as Denison destroyed Decatur, 21-0, in District 4-4A action Thursday night at Munson Stadium. "Decatur (1-9, 0-6) played a man short from the start and the final eight minutes down another player after its goalie was injured. Denison (3-9, 2-4) took advantage, opening up a 12-0 lead behind Stange’s first-half outburst." Started without enough players? Source

Side Note

This 13 year old kid was abducted in Florida this morning so the police began circulating this photo.

That may be the clearest photo I've ever seen. If that's a yearbook photo, things sure have changed.

Edit: Kid found.

I Think I'd Go Crazy, Too

The back portion of this video shows (kinda) Britney going nuts a couple of days ago when she attacked a van with an umbrella. Warning: She drops a couple of F Bombs. But what was more interesting to me was the first 30 seconds. Can you imagine not being able to be a passenger in a car at Allsups without being hounded by the press?

Where's Mrs. Pacman When You Need Her?

Craziest story from the NBA All-Star Game in Las Vegas last weekend.

- After the game, Adam "Pacman" Jones of the Tennessee Titans (yep, that's a football team) decides to visit a strip club called Minxx. (Hey, now.)

- Inside the club is also rapper Nelly (he's kind of a white rapper since even I like some of his songs.)

- Nelly decides to "Make It Rain" which means he takes hand fulls of dollar bills and throws them up into the air thereby making them "rain" down on the strippers. (I would have liked to have seen that.)

- Pacman Jones, not to be outdone, starts to Make It Rain himself. (I'm soooo doing this at Frilly's tonight.)

- Something goes wrong (and here is where the facts get murky) but a melee breaks out.

- During the melee, a guy steals some money from Pacman and places the money in a trash bag and leaves. (I think Pacman had the money in a bag he was carrying - not sure.)

- The money is later recovered in a hotel room and it totaled $81,000!!! (That's right, Pacman Jones went inside a strip club with $81,000 in cash. Holy crap.)

- After the melee, a guy leaves and then comes back into the club and starts shooting. Three people are hit - one guy takes a bullet in the spine.

- I'm opening up a Minxx in Rhome this summer. Good times.

(News sources.)

Decatur Is Being Mean To Mexicans Again

Man, there has to be 1000s of Immigrants (that just happen to be undocumented) moving through Wise County.

Justice Delayed?

Rep. Phil King has joined the defense team in a wrongful death lawsuit in Wise County. After that, an "automatic" Motion for Continuance was then filed since the legislature is in session. (It's mandatory that it be granted.)He claims that his presence is not to seek a continuance because "I've done a lot of oil and gas work. I'm perfectly qualified to be the attorney,"

Oil and gas work qualifies you to defend a wrongful death suit just because it happened at a drill site?

From 2003 to 2006, only one other lawmaker has used the "legislative continuance" more than King.

(Star Telegram story.)

Rare Pic Of My Fourth Wife

Serena Williams Could . . . .

. . . sooooo kick my butt.

Wow

Story. Ironically, it was before the "Baylor Regional Medical Center First Pitch Classic" tournament. Horrible.

Anna Nicole's Dead Body

I just noticed that the judge has pulled a Judge Wapner and has gone into chambers to decide the case. He said he would be back in 15 minutes. (Edit: OMG, he came back in the courtroom and started crying when he read the decision. And he still didn't make any sense: He says that the body is to go to the attorney who is the guardian for Anna's infant daughter and it will be his sole discretion as to where the body should be buried. Say what? And then the judge turned around and said that he wanted the body buried next to her son. What a complete buffoon. )

If you get a chance to watch the news tonight, you have to catch one of the most embarrassing moments in litigation history: Texas "Super Lawyer" John O'Quinn convinces the judge to allow Anna's first husband from Mexia (Billy Wayne Smith) to testify by phone. All the other lawyers go crazy. Everyone expects Billy to say that he wants Anna buried in Texas (or else O'Quinn wouldn't want him called as a witness.)

The judge gets him on the phone, asks him if he is wearing boots (everyone laughing at that joke?), and has him testify. For some reason, the judge interrupts the questioning and says, "If I could order for your son's body in the Bahamas to be exhumed and brought back to Texas for burial, would you want me to?" (I have no idea why that question is asked, but everyone presumes he would say "yes" because surely he will want Anna buried in Mexia, too.) To everyone's surprise, he says, "Naaaa, I wouldn't want that."

And then he blurts out that he just as soon have Anna buried next to their son in the Bahamas. This is exactly the opposite of what the Texas Super Lawyer expected. The entire gallery erupted in laughter as John O'Quinn starts yelling into the phone, "Billy! Billy! Don't you remember our conversation at lunch?!" The judge stops the questioning and says "I've heard enough."

Pure gold.

I Love This Girl

Source: ET.

Psuedo News

Northwest High School was briefly "locked down" this morning "while police searched for a suicidal man believed to be armed with a shotgun." The guy, whether suicidal or not, was found.

And She Didn't Even Come See Me After The Show

I'm so done with her.

To Hold Me, to Scold Me, Cause When I'm Bad I'm So So Bad

The mascot at the University of Illinois used to do some crazy Me Fire Up-em Crowd dance at halftime. But no longer. Last night, the God of Political Correctness witnessed his last dance.

We shall offend no more.

Uh Oh

Problem?

Although I really don't want to get a lot of "Henson is a crazy dictator" comments (you guys have made your point well known), there sure seems like a lot of upheaval in girls athletics over at Bridgeport.

Foreigners Are Coming!!!!

It's funny to think of how many times I heard as a kid, "I ain't buyin' no car unless it's 'merican made."

Oh, Baby, Baby, You're Killing Me

Who would have thought that sweet and innocent girl in the "Oops, I Did It Again" video (ok, maybe "not so innocent") would one day be bald, a little over-weight, smoking, drinking Red Bull, and sporting a couple of raw tattoos?

And, in case you haven't heard, she's made a run for it. Possibly for Newark or New Fairview.

Time Waste

Try a circular motion to get started.

I May Have . . .

. . . to rethink my planned series of "Girls of Boyd" blogs.

(Story.)

Interesting

The presidential race is already heating up, and most of the candidates have unique qualities (i.e. Barack Obama is black, Hillary is a woman, etc.). So a recent Gallop poll asked if you would vote for someone who is well qualified if the person was also one of the following:

Black
Jewish
A homosexual
Hispanic
An atheist
Mormon
A woman
72 years of age
Married for third time

You can say "yes" to more than one obviously.

So which characteristic hurts your the most? Results. (Hint: Gays and the elderly have a lot in common.)

Update On Race Relations

Well, the trial in Decatur that I referenced yesterday has ended up with a guilty verdict after less than 30 minutes of deliberations. (The verdict came down around 3:00 p.m.) From what I can tell, the case involved the defendant striking the victim in the head with a baseball bat during a wedding type of event at Runaway Bay. I have no idea what prompted the altercation although I know the jury was instructed on the law of self defense (that didn't work.) I saw the victim in the courthouse today and he had a nasty scar on his head. The "punishment phase" is now underway. The jury could go as low as probation or as high as 20 years in prison. The defendant has no criminal history, spent 10 months in jail awaiting trial, and has been evaluated in Vernon at the request of his mother. Edit: We have a punishment verdict as of 5:20 p.m. The jury granted the defendant probation (he'll be on it for 7 years) and assessed a $5,000 fine. It was a fair and just verdict. A probation violation can (and would) lead to seven years of incarceration. Lead defense counsel was Earl Dobson out of Denton.

That Judge In Florida . . .

. . . who is presiding over the "where to put Anna Nicole's dead body" case, is both Stupid and Crazy. If you get a chance to watch any of it, do so. It is far more entertaining than real courtrooms.

Don't Blame Me, Blame The Google

The best I can tell, there are 25 comments from you fine people that I can't get to. You'd think by clicking on that "25 Comments" that I'd get to see them. Nope. Although there normally is a comment or two waiting on me, there are never as many as it says. So although most Comments get through, a handful go into purgatory. God bless them.

It's Awful To Say . . .

. . . but I'm surprised this doesn't happen more often.

Story.

Deers Outmatched

Not satisfied with deer feeders or using spotlights, some Wise County folks allegedly decide to steal some night vision goggles for hunting . . . or so the Star Telegram says.

I use mine like Buffalo Bill did in Silence of the Lambs.

In Case You Missed It . . .

. . . the local news stopped down last night so we could watch the police bomb squad in Irving blow up an empty suitcase. Good times.

Prosecutor Running Amuck

Thomas Aaberg, the assistant prosecutor in the Wise County Attorney's office, told me today that he was going to run home. He meant, literally, "run home" after work. Thomas is a long distance runner and he had been thinking about this feat for quite some time. He lives in Alvord which means that his journey would be 15 miles by using a route that he referred to as the "Old Decatur Road." I checked with the office at the end of the day and they confirmed that he had left on his journey of pain.

If he didn't make it, we'll miss him.

Edit: Well, he's alive and claims that he made it home in 1 hour and 50 minutes. And he's back at work today.

As A Follow Up ToThe Post Below . . .

. . . Nebraska looks like a nice school.

Baylor Doesn't Like The Gay?

The girl on the left is Emily Nkosi who used to be Emily Niemann. The "Nkosi" name comes from the girl on the right who is now her Massachusetts sanctioned spouse. Yep, we're talking full blown lesbians.

But why do I care? I'll tell ya why. Emily used to play basketball for Baylor University. In fact, that girl fired off 19 points (5 of 8 from the three point line) when the Lady Bears opened a can of whoop arse on Michigan State and won the National Title two years ago. It was the happiest moment of my life except for seeing the birth of my first child (which has never actually happened - but I digress).

But then I read a couple of months after that momentous night that she had quit the team. "Why?" I cried into my pillow that night. "Why, Emily, are you leaving the only decent sports team that I've seen at Baylor in the last 15 years? Whatever it is, we can fix it!"

Two years later, I have my answer.

Emily, it seems, was afraid Baylor would be none to pleased if it was revealed she was a lesbian, and USA Today has finally printed her story. (Sheesh, even Bill O'Reilly has covered Baylor's lack of love for The Gay.)

What's the world coming to when a female college basketball player can't have an affinity for the same sex? It's enough to make me want to tear up my Baylor pennant.

Don't Go To Azle

This morning a little boy was killed running for a bus, this afternoon a kid in his 20s was killed in a motorcycle wreck, and last weekend someone threw a tire jack through the windshield of a moving ambulance causing a paramedic to suffer head injuries.

Time Does Not Stop

Dead at age 27 due to the business end of a shotgun, Kurt Cobain would have turned 40 today.

More Courthouse News

Judge Cude just told me he performed a "proxy wedding" today on the courthouse steps - to which I replied, "what in the heck is a proxy wedding?"

Apparently that involves a soon-to-be-spouse who cannot attend the wedding due to reasons beyond his control (i.e. military service), so he signs a "proxy" allowing someone else to stand in his stead and recite his "I do."

Honestly, I had never heard of such a thing.

But here's the kicker: The wedding today involved an absent groom but the bride allowed her sister to stand in as his proxy. So we had two women standing before Judge Cude saying "I do" on the Wise County Courthouse steps. Surely that's never happened before. Good times.

Courthouse Roaming

It looks like there is an Aggravated Assault trial that started today in the district court in Decatur. I peeked in and noticed that the Defendant was African-American and the jury was all white. I'm really not worried about him getting a fair trial (heck, I had a "not guilty" in a misdemeanor case about six years ago under the exact same scenerio), but it just looks odd.

Jailhouse Rock

The crisis-in-the-making that is the Dallas County Jail is lowering its standard for prospective jailers. Now instead of being asked "Have you ever used illegal drugs?" the question is now "Have you used illegal drugs in the last 10 years?" A "yes" gets you disqualified.

Hmmm, problem solved.

Weather Report

More.

Circus

Man, the hearing in Florida this morning over where to bury Anna Nicole's body is a complete circus. Famous big bags of money Texas lawyer John O'Quinn is representing Anna's mom, and Daniel K. Stern has been on the stand for most of the morning. Craziness.

Everyone is firing off comments and the judge is only half-arse taking control. It is funny, however, that the judge refers to O'Quinn as "Tex" or "Texas." A couple of times he's said, "Calm down, Tex" and "I heard you, Texas."

If you're so inclined, you can watch it here beginning at 1:30 (they took a break for lunch.)

$21 X 500 = A Wasted $10,500

Triple dumb idea.

If This Was A Contingency Fee Case . . .

. . . then there are big ol' Plaintiff's lawyer tears rolling down his Plaintiff's lawyer cheeks.

(Story.)

Stoners Mourn

And since I've been yelling about the inequity of bond amounts lately, notice that the bond in this case was set at only $20,000.

Time Waste

Kinda like spiderman. Click the mouse to move forward.

Horse Joins Tour De France

This has apparently just appeared on the 'Net although it might be a couple of years old.

This Could Get Good

Edit: I'm being bombarded with lots of lines from "Full Metal Jacket" - none of which I can post. Great movie, though. I apologize for not posting them, but "me love you long time."

No Way

I was just at the grocery store and observed a picked-through "clearance rack" of baked bread products. You know, cup cakes, angle food cake, cakes, etc.

There is no way on god's green earth I'm buying that stale stuff.

Is That Wrong?

Interesting legal point: Entering into someone's house without permission (even if you act creepy inside) is just a misdemeanor of criminal trespass. But if you enter into someone's house with the intent to commit theft or you actually commit theft once inside, you've bought yourself a second degree felony. Interesting non-legal point: The victim was smokin' hot.

The Girl's Gone Bat Arse Crazy

And Tara Reid decided a slight tan over the weekend would be a good enough change.

President's Day Is A Weird Holiday

Only those that control our lives, government offices and banks, are closed.

I went up to the courthouse a second ago and pushed my forehead against one of the glass doors and looked in. It looked dark in there. I even shook the latch really hard and then banged on the glass even harder. I even yelled, "Hello! I'm here for a mental commitment because I'm a serious threat to myself and others. I might even have had a bucket of crystal meth and a case of beer for lunch." Still nothing.

I hate this holiday.

On A Lighter Note . . .

. . . Happy President's Day from a girl that I think is Jessica Simpson. Or she might just be a random girl from Newark. Don't know.

Life's Troubling Questions

I always glance at the obituaries in the Morning News. This one stopped me down today. Anyone got any complaints about their life right now? Me neither.

This Will Sooooo Happen To Me Some Day

More.

Uggh

Source.

Another Sweet And Clean Brit Pic

I got a tattoo of Earl Warren in the same area about two weeks ago.