I Officially Return My Law Degree To Baylor University

As Baylor and the Agricultural College appear on ESPN this afternoon in the NCAA Softball Tournament (sheeeeesh, it's gonna be a long sports summer), I stumble across this: A drunk white guy, trying to get a bus filled with drunk black people (and 2 white very sober families with small children) to do a patented Baylor University 'Sic em Bears. YouTube clip here. (Warning: A couple of F bombs.)

Politics Of Fear

Ugggghhhh!

Every major news source is reporting "Breaking News" that three men have been arrested in a "plot" to blow up fuel lines at JFK Airport in New York.

The FBI held a "major news conference" and described the group as a "sleeper terrorist cell" (get those buzz words ready), and they even (gasp) "used the Internet to obtain satellite photographs of the JFK facility." (Read: Google Earth.) The U.S. Attorney for Brooklyn stood up and said it was "one of the most chilling plots imaginable."

But, if you listen closely, al-Qaida was not involved and, more importantly, "Homeland Security sources said the airport is not under threat and that the attack as planned was 'not technically feasible.'"

Once a year (flashback), the Administration has to remind us to be afraid. Kind of hard to justify the billions on the "War on Terror" without it.

Edit: Boy, was I dead on about the "Google Earth" reference. This "shocking detail" was released on Monday.

Sounds Very Farmers Branch-ee-ee

But it's really no big story. Tarrant County did the same thing three years ago. But the headline in the Star-Telegram just kinda jumps out at you.

Giggle

There was a minor scandal in New York this week when a story ran of A-Rod out on the town with a blonde stripper. Last night, the fans in Boston threw down some humor.

Depressing Saturday Morning Thoughts

I took the excerpt above (click to enlarge) from this Star-Telegram story today about the lady who hung herself and four children (one survived) in Parker County this week. The story is about poverty, and documented that she made $20,400 a year (which includes $400 a month in food stamps.) Of course, that's no reason to kill your kids. But it would be a stress level that would be unimaginable.

The excerpt shows the guidelines for what is considered "poverty" in America. And over one in 10 qualify in this country under those standards. That's insane. And I wonder if that figure includes illegal aliens?

And I never think about poverty without thinking about George Will's rules for avoiding it: "Graduate from high school, don't have a baby until you are married, don't marry while you are a teenager. Among people who obey those rules, poverty is minimal."

Hot No Matter What She Is Doing

Jessica Biel. Yep, this same one.

Hillary in Santa Clara On Friday

Look again. You'll see it.

Finally, A Little Respect

And make no mistake about it Florida, I'll mess you up.

Edit: Saturday morning I was downgraded to a Tropical Depression. Where's my paxil?

Post-Graduation

Quick observations:
- Hardly anyone dresses up any more. Heck, I even brought a blue blazer that I left in the car once I saw the crowd.
- The ceremony was long but it was streamlined about as well as it could be
- Dr. Newbury told the same story that he did in my high school graduation 27 years ago (about doing an experiment with his car lights.)
- Graduating from high school is kinda scary. It's a feeling of, "it's all up to you, now."
- It's an odd feeling when you were present at the hospital for someone's birth AND are present for their high school graduation
- A krillion pics have been uploaded here, but looking at them might cure insomnia. Even a bad case of insomnia. (I've even taken out my family pics - a family who would officially disown me if the pics were posted.)

The line . . .

. . . To get into Bridgeport's graduation.

The line . . .

. . . To get into Bridgeport's graduation.

Dazed And Confused

I'm heading back to my alma mater tonight to watch my nephew graduate from Bridgeport High School. (Hopefully, I'll get some good material to write about.) But I noticed that the speaker will be Dr Don Newbury. That's weird. He was the commencement speaker at my high school graduation.

And the ceremony has been moved indoors to the gym. I predict overcrowding.

King James

I didn't watch it, but it's all the sports boys are talking about today. Last night, in double OT, Lebron James scored 48 points. Here's the amazing part: He scored the last 25 Cleveland points in the game. I've never heard of such a thing.

The kid is 22 years old.

Last year's earnings: $30,828,089. Holy crap.

My Nominee . . .

. . . for hottest woman I've ever seen in a mask (excluding that ball mask thing like the one used in Pulp Fiction.)

Story.

Jack County Crime Wave

Crazy docket in Jack County this morning. It seemed to be of a record size: 30 defendants.

What are "my guys" accused of doing?

- Delivery of a Controlled Substance, > 4 grams < 200 grams (female)
- Possession of a Controlled Substance, > 4 grams < 200 grams (female)
- DWI - Third (male)
- Possession of a Controlled Substance, > 4 grams < 200 grams (female, and a no show)
- Indecency With A Child (male)
- Injury To A Child (male)
- DWI- Third Offense (male)

And it occurs to me how "bad" some of the titles sound until you actually see what the facts are.

Angry World

I had intended to mention this last weekend. Before my Memorial Day afternoon movie at the high tone Colleyville theater, I overheard a conversation between a waiter and the bartender. (This crazy place has waiters that patrol the theaters and even sells alcohol.) Anyway, the waiter comes back to the bar with a full bottle of wine and two glasses. "Man, do you have any traditional wine glasses?" He says to the bartender (as he looks down at glasses that had apparently been rejected by a customer.) "People get really mad when they order a bottle of wine and we don't have wine glasses." Really mad? Over glasses? Wine glasses? We have it tough in this country.

Terrorist Captured

I'm late to the party on this one. (Original pic is here.)

I'm Off To A Jack County Criminal Docket

But at least that saved me from having to watch Big And Rich on The Today Show.

Do You Think His Life Has Gone Terribly Wrong

I was watching this story on Fox 4 News last night, and apparantly the undercover cops had struck a deal with this guy to sell the (fake) child for $2,000. He didn't have the money so they agreed to payments of $100. I'll swear I saw an investigator say, "It was a rent-to-own situation." I grab the TIVO remote control and hit replay on moments like that.

I'm Sure The Cabbage Patch Is In There Somewhere

This clip isn't that remarkable other than to analyze the myriad of dance steps that this white family throws down after a San Antonio Spurs win. I think I saw the "running man" as well as a square dance break out.

When Everyone Leaves Me, I'll No Longer Post This Chart

Pamela Anderson For No Reason . . . Other Than The Obvious One

Spell "KLEH'-vihs"

That smart kid from Colleyville couldn't. I couldn't fill out the application to get in the Spelling Bee without making a spelling error.

"Mine!"

If you have any passing interest in baseball, what happened yesterday was fascinating. Yankees/Blue Jays. Pop up to Blue Jays third baseman. A-Rod running from second to third. A-Rod yells "mine" as he goes behind the third baseman causing the third baseman to give up on the ball. Ball hits ground. Cheater?

The definitive shot is about halfway through this youtube.com clip.

Kelly Brook says

"If I'm ever in Bridgeport on Thursdays, I normally drop by the City Pool."

The Preceding . . .

. . . posts were very text heavy. I had forgotten my blogging roots. I apologize to all of those that know what is really important in this world.

Random Thoughts

- I paid over $50 for a tank of gas on Monday. The first time ever.
- I've never seen a case in the last 15 years where the allegation was "the defendant sold drugs to kids."
- Whenever the police seize some drugs, I'm always skeptical when I hear the "street value was over $[insert ridiculous amount]"
- Potential Republican candidate Fred Thompson is extremely overrated - but is probably the only one who understands politics in this new age.
- President Bush will go down as the worst president in our lifetime. Moderates and liberals see him as a simpleton. Hard line conservatives shake their heads on the issues of immigration and the expanding federal budget. That leaves very few people left that respect him.
- I think dining at a restaurant is the biggest waste of money on the planet.
- I had a credit card when I was 18 years old. My dad told me not to be stupid. Not once did I get in over my head as a kid.
- Standing in front of a jury is both exhausting, painful, and exhilarating.
- Spanish will be the dominate language in Texas fifty years from now.
- I really haven't been married seven times.
- For the life of me, I cannot understand anyone who eats a meal by themselves without having something to read.
- I don't know anyone who reads editorial columns in major daily newspapers.
- I'd rather be a writer in seclusion than a lawyer.
- I think a lot of people miss the old "Skattershooting."

If This Were April, I'd Post This

Lost's Evangeline Lilly.

Awkward Moment Today

At the end of jury selection today, a prospective juror raised her hand and said, "I've observed something going on this morning that I'd like to talk privately with the judge and the lawyers about it."

That, my friends, is a Stop Down Moment.

As the rest of all the potential jurors were excused, I spoke briefly with Assistant County Attorney Thomas Aaberg about what it could possibly be. "Other than your fly being open, I'm not sure," he said. That, of course, was a joke that was even funnier when I impulsively glanced down at my groin area. All was secure.

Once in front of the judge, the potential juror (who was as sweet and honest as the day is long - as well as a former out-of-county prosecution employee) said that she felt that I had mischaracterized the prosecution and put them at a disadvantage. What had I done? I had stressed that the prosecution was, in fact, "the government", and since so many people thought negatively of the government, the rest of the jury panel had probably made the prosecution's job more difficult.

That was a new one for me. I cannot thank her enough for being honest and expressing her opinion (By the way, I used one of my free three strikes to make sure she didn't end up on the jury - I was fairly sure she hated me.) But I think she had a hard time understanding that even though County Attorney Greg Lowery is a "good ol' Paradise boy", he is, in fact, The State Of Texas when he prosecutes someone for an alleged crime. Simply put, when he goes to work, he becomes "The Government."

Sidenote #1: Everyone at the courthouse jokes about how I drop the "n" when I pronounce "government".

Sidenote #2: The picture is from my jury selection Powerpoint presentation.

Brief Recap

Normally, the cases that are tried in Judge Melton Cude's County Court at Law are DWI. I've been involved in a bunch of them and, quite frankly, I think I could try one in my sleep. (With my nightly nightmares, it would be a nice change of pace.) But today we tried something a little bit different: An "Assault - Bodily Injury - Family Violence" case. That's code for "wife beating." As mentioned earlier, it ended up in a "not guilty" verdict - which I will always attribute to the facts instead of my trial skills. (I normally tell new clients in our initial meeting that "I'm not a magician. If the facts indicate you are obviously guilty, I can can't stop a guilty verdict from happening.") Family violence cases normally drive me insane. Everyone pictures some crazed man coming home from a construction job and then beating his wife for over-frying the chicken fried steak. That is rarely the case. Women (but not all women) manipulate the system in a frightening manner. Dallas Police Chief David Kunkle was on the new Gordon Keith show about three months ago. Gordon asked him what to do if someone were to find themselves in a false domestic violence allegation. Gordon joked, "Be the first one to dial 911?" The Chief candidly admitted that's true. I can't tell you how true that is.

Random Thought

Did he have a life jacket on? (Story.)

Slow Posting?

I'm in the middle of a misdemeanor assault jury trial. That explains the silence. I thought about posting a picture of Jessica Alba during cross examination, but that would be inappropriate. Back to court. Lunch break over. Edit: Success for the falsely accused. (That means, a "not guilty" verdict.) More later.

Sheesh. Is This Seattle?

A Tradition Like . . . Uh, Other Traditions

The Colonial golf tourney looked like it was a beating. Constant rain. No big names. Small crowds.

But one guy confirmed it was business as usual: "It's happy hour out here at Colonial, which means it's high time for me to sample the famed Colonial Margarita. At 7 bucks a pop, they're perty [sic] potent. And you can add a shot of tequila for $2. I passed on 'the floater,' but most people don't said the gals pulling the lever on the frozen concoctions. About 75 percent of Colonial customers Super Size their Margaritas . . . " (Source.)

Olivia Wilde Says . . .

. . . "Good Wednesday morning, Cottondale!"

It's Time To Bring Them Home

From the front page of the New York Times yesterday. His story here.

You can only look at the picture and cry.

112 . . .

. . . Young Soldiers, This Month Alone, Will Not See Their Families Again

I Love "The Onion" . . .

. . . and would quit my job tomorrow to be one of its writers (if they paid, uh, money). But, man, they push the edge sometimes. (The Onion.)

Stuff I Did Not Know

In 1960. two people were killed at the Indy 500 when over 100 people decided to climb a "make shift" tower. The old time news reel footage is here.

Be Concerned . . .

. . . if your boy plays baseball for Stephen F. Austin or UT at San Antonio.

Stay Classy, Drudge

Good to see that Drudge is taking the high road with his advertising on The Drudge Report.

This Man Does Not Have Hair Problems

ESPN Classic has been replaying old "American Gladiator" episodes. But nothing will stop you down like the required double take of seeing Malibu being interviewed. And the man has the worst Spicoli impersonation in the history of ever.

I'm Off To Fort Worth - Watch The Radar

America Is Crazy

Hey, Not

Rosie talks via a webcam. (And clicking on the image won't play it.) Link is here.

I can't concentrate on what she is saying because I'm distracted by the whole crazy scene going on around her. It's just bizarre to see a celebrity look like she just got back from the dollar store.

Wow

(Star Telegram photo.)

Just heard a story on WBAP about three children and a woman being found dead in a Parker County home this morning. I also heard something about a noose.

As soon as I find a link, I'll post it.

Edit: The DMN beats the Star Telegram with the first story. And one sentence in that short story is shocking (in a story that is already shocking.)

Edit 2: The Star-Telegram wasn't far behind. (And it has this quote: "We got a mess.’’)

Edit 3: The Star-Telegram with some relevant info:

NBC 5 television reported that the bodies were those of a 23-year-old mother and her three daughters, ages 5, 3 and 2. The station reported that the mother’s sister discovered the bodies, which were hanging in a closet. The station reported that authorities had contact the woman's ex-husband.

Edit 4: It's now being called a "Triple Murder Suicide."

Random Prom Pic

Bet those boys will regret that in a few years.

Movie Going Fun

I normally like the Metro Cinema in Colleyville, but this was my first time yesterday in the "upstairs" theater. You would think seeing a movie that has been out for a couple of months would not be a cause for concern when it comes to the issue of seating.

Wrong.

Especially when the theater seats about 50 people (and I'm not kidding.) Here is a pic with my camera phone from my seat on the front row. Talk about the life force being sucked out of me.

Lindsay Plays Hard

More.

Saw This On Monday

The previews for this flick have been running in theaters for months and it looked pretty good. It turned out to be, uh, ok. I'm willing to suspend belief as much as the next guy to enjoy a movie but this thing asked too much of me. Simply not believable. And, for those that have seen it, the basic legal premise that wraps the movie up in a tight little bow is, in my opinion, wrong.

And I had two power down moments when the hero uttered "I hate to lose" and "I'll see you in court" within 15 minutes of each other.

Opening Of Miss Universe Pageant

Good stuff.

And even though I didn't see it, I just read that Tony Romo was judge. I'll say it again: The Cowboys are doomed.

Edit: Miss Japan won the thing. On Memorial Day, no less. I, for one, am not willing to forget about Pearl Harbor.

Huh?

Dale Jr. on his 8th place finish yesterday at the Coca-Cola 600 (as seen on ESPN's Sports Center.):

"Had a good car so I won't be sad on Memorial Day. We'll be able to party."

Drive By It All The Time

. . . and forget how cool it really is.

Cool Shot

I've been to that restaurant in the tower one time. And the oddest of memories: It was the night that Mike Tyson got knocked out for the first time.

Indy 500 Hotness

What does today's Indy 500 winner have in common with Ashley Judd? He's married to her. (Just learned that on Dale Hansen's Sport's Special.)

Edit: Someone has commented that this is not a picture of Ashley Judd. It's not? I just grabbed it off the first page of an Ashley Judd google image search.