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I'm in this seminar today but since (1) these things are notoriously boring and (2) I'm in the most high tech conference room in the history of ever (wi-fi, big screen, readily available outlets, CNN showing before the program starts), I'll probably give an update or two.
Random Thoughts:
- The George Bush toll road is the greatest invention in the history of travel.
- I am soooooo on my guard today because of this. (And if you don't want to click on the link, realize the story has this gem: " One man lost his money while dancing in a hotel elevator. Another lost his wallet while inside a car with his pants around his ankles.")
- This place has a breakfast spread like nobody's business.
- Looking over the registration list, I see some guy is hear listed as "Matthew McConahay" from Weatherford. I also see that former DA's Tim Cole and Bruce Issacks are here. Dear lord, James Stainton of Decatur is here.
- In general, these things are insufferable. Everywhere I hear strangers talking about their "war stories" which, I'm certain, are normally a fraction of the truth.
- Out in the hall, I just heard an over-talking old lawyer on the phone getting all grumpy with a divorce client. Discretion there, hoss. Discretion.
- Just heard that every speaker at the seminar has won a breath test case > .08 within the last 12 months.
- And the first speaker was almost a Call To Arms to try more cases. Ya know, I was motivated by that.
- I just noticed that lunch is "catered by Campisi's." Think anything low fat is on the menu?
- Power Down Moment.....Speaker: "You're not going to win a high breath test if your client looks drunk on video. Anybody done that?" [Hand goes up.] Speaker: "How'd that work out for you?" Voice from audience: "I kept them [the jury] out a while." Sheesh. Big freakin' deal.
- This is why I hate seminars. The current speaker just mentioned that there USED TO BE an error in the Breath Test Operator's manual. He then spent five minutes explaining WHY it was an error. But, sheesh, it is no longer in the manual so the error doesn't matter anymore. Move on, hoss, move on!
- There are one or two lawyers that throw down the "I'm A Texas Old School Lawyer" - which means they wear a cowboy hat, boots and bolo tie. Kill me. Good lord, one is speaking right now.
- This gal is speaking later. That's more like it.
- I'm drinking apple juice. Yep, free apple juice.
- In general, people that practice criminal defense law are a motley crew.
- After a speaker ends, I have a huge urge to start the "slow clap" going.
- Lunch was good. They also had salad. Kinda like the Olive Garden salad.
- A lady beside just offered me peanuts.
- I sooooo want post a Friday afternoon pick me up but too darn many people can see my screen. Can't exactly search the Internet for hot gals in this environment. That makes it a bad environment. I feel my rights are being infringed upon.
- A speaker just played this video for no reason other than to entertain us.
- The last speaker was a beating - he couldn't run his powerpoint presentation to save his arse. But now I'm watching Denton lawyer Rick Hagen do a mock voir dire. (Top pick). I like Rick. And he's a great lawyer.
- I love Google Docs. I use it all the time and that's what I've taken notes on today. Easily accessible in the future.
- Funny: One of the speakers, once finished, walked out to the hallway with his mic still on and live! Thought we were going to have a Naked Gun moment for a second.
- Just heard attorney Fort Worth Mark Daniel speak. I think he's great and he had five or six great points.
- OK, we've got a wise guy out there! I just got an email with a photo making reference to Lake Bridgeport. Boat accident? Fire? Some other incident? So I opened the photo amongst this crowd and up pops a very scantily clad model that has nothing to do with Lake Bridgeport - as I then scrambled to block the screen and close it.
- And we had one more wise guy email. Got one that said, "Pic of the back of your head." I was smart enough to dim my screen to "almost impossible to see mode" before I opened it. What was it? A very gay cowboy. Even I laughed at that one.
- I'm done. Good times.
