And Another

Meet Lisa Robyn Marinelli, 40.

Occupation: Substitute Teacher

Alleged victim: 16 going on 17

Trademark Text Message: "Real men only need 20 minutes"

Verdict: Normally, I would convict any teacher who is 40 on the basis of age alone. But take a look at this gal! She's a full fledged cougar that can't help but be seductive. Those eyes! Those lips! Sheesh, it's not her fault. We've got a full fledged middle aged hottie here.

Three years probation.

Next case.