Now That's What I Call A Tease

My sources (which infiltrate every precinct in the county and some selected homes) tell me that this weekend The History Channel is at the Aurora Cemetery using radar and good old fashion digging to look for the legendary spaceman's body.

Developing . . .

Edit: Confirmed.

Other famous Aurora Cemetery residents:

Herd Burger

The Star-Telegram profiles the retirement of the owners of Herd's Hamburgers over in Jacksboro. No fear - the son will run it now.

I've been to Jacksboro a thousand times. I've never eaten there.

More photos of the joint at the bottom of this page.

Mugshots Of The Week

Link. I love this stuff. JUNE 27--This summer's first installment of our end-of-the-week mug shot collection needs a few footnotes: 1) The twin brothers on page #5 were nabbed last week while celebrating their 22nd birthdays; 2) The 18-year-old Florida woman on page #9 has been nabbed three times in the last two months, including twice in the past two weeks; and 3) The perp on page #18 appears lost...and very, very sweaty. (18 pages)

Random Thoughts While Temporarily Connected to The Internets

• I'm not saying I'm dying because Embarq went out on me, but I'm dying.
• I told the Star Telegram about the Dr. Grotti case yesterday, and they printed it today. (I bet my 6th ex-wife on that so I guess I get to keep her. Wait.)
• If you get Confused Head reading Supreme Court opinions, don't worry about it. 95% of the lawyers out there don't understand them (me included most of the time.)
• That "well regulated militia" language sure did cause a lot of controversy.
• Saw where they were going to charge the guy that blew through the red light and killed a family of five last Saturday in Plano with manslaughter. (Reckless killing.) It was an accident. A horrible one, but an accident. (And didn't the Tarrant County grand jury this week no bill the kid that killed the Chico family for running a red light?)
• Video of the day: If you want to see a kid learn to ride a motorcycle and see the most prophetic words ever spoken ("Don't get cocky"), you've got to see this. (Thanks emailer James.)
• Shout out to Jamie Stone over at Adult Probation who delivered to me a ton of home grown tomatoes. And they are great. (He also dropped off some jalapeños but I’m not sure how to cook them.)
• As big of a star as Madonna is, she could have been even bigger if she had been a tad bit “fan friendly.”
• I’ve been hearing some nightmare stories about electric bills. I haven’t got my first big one yet.
• Even though the President has no direct impact on gas prices, the public wants something to be done. And that may be the biggest factor in the November election.
• I got an AARP letter in the mail the other day with my name on a proposed membership card. I was in a fetal position after that for hours. And that junk mail, by the way, was a mistake. I promise.
• I get at least five credit card applications in the mail each week. And I feel compelled to tear them up into many pieces before I throw them in the trash.
• I did some negotiating on a plea bargain via text messaging the other day. That was a first for me.
• “Baby Mama” is a funny name.
• Toddlers always seem to like me. Babies don’t.
• Being a traffic reporter assigned to a helicopter would be a good gig.
• I can remember my fifth birthday but none before that. We had a treasure hunt in my backyard and my next door neighbor grabbed a shovel and said, “Let’s start digging!” even though there was a box right in front of him with a big “X” on it.
• I’m five chapters into that Scott McClellan book. I’m extremely disappointed.
• Replaced a tire, had tires balanced and rotated and my front end aligned yesterday. I hate spending money on stuff that simply places me back in the position I used to be.
• Does anybody know what that building is that is going up behind The Home Depot at Basswood and I-35 in Fort Worth? It looks like a church. (And Home Depot needs to drop the formal “The” in front of its name.)
• It looks like every cell phone will have GPS tracking within five years. Teenagers will have to get creative if they want to go somewhere there not supposed to. And the would-be wayward spouse will find his life much more complicated.
• Understanding that 99% you haven’t watched it, but I saw a scene in the fourth episode of The Wire last night which might have been the greatest television moment ever. And I’m serious.
• And while waiting on my car, I saw a young mother slap her child’s leg (maybe two or three year’s old) as a discipline measure. It dawned on me I don’t see that as much as I used to and I was kind of bothered by it.
• I still think about the young black guy that went on the hate filled profanity laced rant after he was arrested for killing the guys in Garland. I Did you know he was 19? If he were 12 we would blame his childhood. Maybe even at 14 or 15. But somehow when a person gets into his late teens he is completely to blame for his actions in our eyes.
• Ok, away from the Internet. I'm dying here.

Edit: I think I have posted that girl before. Freaky. Edit #2: Getting a couple of posts about John Trice submitting a resignation letter. As with all comments posted on this crazy thing, you should never assume anything is true until confirmed. Edit #3: Uh, edit #2 has been confirmed. You heard it hear first.

And Another

This is a Teacher Scandal so shocking I won't even post the picture.

Let's just say I'm finally voting for prison. Some things just ain't right.

Judge for yourself.

(Thanks emailer.)

Still Hot

From My Email Bag

[Email deleted] Edit: OK, my sweet emailer couldn't take the verbal attack you boys were dishing out and asked me to take it down. So I did. See what a nice guy I am? But, basically, it was a story of a car being broken into last night at Dollar General in Bridgeport. (Side note: One of my ex-wives would occasionally shop at a dollar store over my strenuous objections. My bit was to always find something she bought that cost over a dollar and express shock that the store carried a product that cost more than that. Then she'd reply, "It's the dollar store, not a dollar store. Idiot." Good times.) Anyway, a purse was stolen out of the car and the liberal weenies came over to Decatur and bought a bunch of gas and used the stolen debit card. So the emailer was trying to be sweet and warn everyone to be careful. But you guys turned on her. I've raised you better than that. And I don't know what she looks like. I just assumed she was a "hey, now." That's why I posted it. The End.

Don't Sell Your Gun Rack

Supreme Court just said the 2nd Amendment has meaning. But, wow, it was 5-4. PDF version of opinion is here. HTML version now available here. (And I've been fascinated by this picture for over a decade. It appeared in either Time or Newsweek - and, look closely, that's a T-shirt bearing the logo of the now defunct DFW country station, "Young Country.")

In related news, sheriff's deputies in Denton County got in a shootout this morning.

Random Thursday Morning Thoughts

- I can't tell you the number of times a married guy with kids has told me that "if I were you, I'd" walk away and go run a bar/surf shop/etc. in Mexico.
- The underlying facts of the No Death Penalty For Child Rape Case handed down yesterday were as about as awful as anything I've ever read.
- But I don't think the world will end just because a child rapist is locked up for life instead of executed.
- I you stole an ATM machine, is it hard to open?
- Coldplay was on Jon Stewart last night and, after the performance, Stewart looked short standing next to the lead singer. I checked The Google and found out Stewart is only 5'7".
- The Wire is great.
- I completely forgot to watch any of the final game of the college world series. The tell me that Fresno State, which entered the tournament as about the 50th ranked team, won.
- Note to the Star Telegram: Look up the case of Dr. Lydia Grotti handed down by the Court of Criminal Appeals yesterday - you missed it. (I will now bet my sixth wife that you will now see a story about it in tomorrow's paper. You're welcome.)
- I once held a $3 million insurance check in my hand that was being paid to a wrongful death claimant. Her husband had died of skin cancer after her doctor failed to send off a skin biopsy to the lab - and then lied about it by telling the now dead guy that the lab had said it was benign.
- Random girls on a boat. Rethinking my rant about boats.
- After giving it some thought, I think all the coverage of the Wise County duct tape case was overblown. I'm not saying that's good parenting, but it's not exactly chain-up-a-kid-in-the-basement crazy.
- A group of people at the courthouse thought that I was nuts when I claimed that around 1979, when gas prices soared, that the pumps weren't capable of calculating gas prices over $1.00. So, in response, gas station owners would set the pumps to 1/2 of the actual price with a note on them that the actual price you would pay would be double the final reading.
- Crazy new Mexican midget video on youtube.
- Somebody complained to me yesterday about the male nudity in Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story. I saw that movie and don't remember any male nudity.
- Tim McGraw kicked a fat cowboy out of his concert (via youtube.)
- If you don't watch anything else today, watch this compilation of reporters getting owned.
- I've never been impressed with Stonehenge. (OK, that's the most random thought of the day.)
- I've thought about for two months: The Fountainhead is the most juvenile and simplistic book every written. And the movie is worse.
- I've thought about buying a cemetery plot. For me.
- I bet the only reason local TV wasn't interupted last night with constant "Breaking Weather News" was that the weathermen weren't around since the storms came completely out of nowhere.
- Some of my readers know defense lawyer Jim Shaw out of Fort Worth (he makes an occasional appearance in Wise County.) If you do, check out the end of this story. If you don't, move along.
- NBC has settled a lawsuit brought by the sister of the assistant DA who off'd himself when To Catch A Predator came after him. But no one will say how much was paid. (And I've pointed it out before, but if you're interested and have some time, this Esquire article has the best story of what really happened. And it has the most eye catching title, "Tonight On Dateline: This Man Will Die.")
- I was serious when I said I didn't think the United States would last for another 200 years. But I think it'll last for 150 years. And, as Pat Buchanan has said, I can see the southwest United States basically turning into an extension of Mexico. (Some people try to equate if to Kosovo or Croatia - I think - but I don't know enough about that to even have an opinion.)
- Most people seem to be on a cell phone all the time. They can't possibly talking about anything that deserves to be talked about.
- My tires on my car are out of balance and my steering wheel now vibrates slightly.
- At 8:42, Mark Davis on WBAP said he's worried about today's upcoming ruling by the Supreme Court on the constitutionality of the D.C. gun ban. That's just dumb. It'll be struck down. (And I'll double down the bet on wife #6 because I'm so sure. We'll find out in moments.)

Bad Picture. Good Salsa.

WWE Fake News

WWE (that's a rasslin' organization) pulls a typical fake stunt and some news organization in Houston reports it as real.

And Another

It's been a while since we've had a teacher sex scandal but this lady makes up for the lull. Not because of her looks (below average on my patented Scandalous Teacher Hotness Index) but because of . . . uh . . . the numbers. Let's just say her moral compass might be broken. Yep, probably broken.

Then again, maybe that's normal for Alabama.

Supreme Court Wire

Held: A state cannot enact a statute that imposes the death penalty for the offense of child rape. The death penalty is forbidden for crimes against individuals that do not result in death. A 5-4 decision with the swing vote being Kennedy. (Opinion in pdf format here. HTML version now up here.) And they still didn't release the 2nd Amendment case today. They are born showmen. (It'll be released tomorrow morning.)

Random Wednesday Morning Thoughts

- Finally saw an episode of Black Gold (the series about drilling oil rigs in East Texas) last night. It was outstanding. I'm surprised more people aren't killed on those rigs - especially with that huge chain that goes around every pipe piece.
- A contested divorce, complete with hearings before a judge, is never a good thing for either side. I saw one a couple of days ago in district court in Wise County and wondered if they'd ever be able to put it behind them.
- Lots of people have been sending me the video of the "ball girl" making an amazing catch at a baseball game. It looked fake. It was.
- To the guy that cut and pasted Encyclopedia Britannica in his comments that I didn't post: Puhleeze, sir.
- Lari Barager looked pretty good last night reporting from Wise County.
- The Star Telegram has the duct tape story here but there's not any new information. (Pet Peeve of mine: No one is ever arrested on a charge of "suspicion of [insert crime]". It takes more than suspicion to make an arrest.)
- Crazy defense tactic: Accuse the DA of sleeping with two TV station reporters.
- One more duct tape note: Fox 4 said the incident was near Cottondale. WBAP called it near Paradise and even teased the story with "Paradise Lost."
- Highlight reel of news bloopers we've seen over the last couple of years.
- Religion, race, and homosexuality sure does stir you guys up. I'll keep going back to that well.
- Some folks in Alvord are still bent out of shape over the Tennis Coach Demotion story.
- Hot girls from that big soccer tournament going on somewhere.
- Had a guy driving towards me going the wrong way on Basswood in Fort Worth yesterday. We stopped in traffic facing each other. That was a tad bit unnerving.
- The college world series comes down to one final game tonight on ESPN.
- Gratuitous "hey, now" of some Dancing With The Stars lady in a bikini this weekend.
- That silly John Cornyn commercial (I posted a link a couple of days ago) even made the Jon Stewart show last night.
- Neat legal stuff: Some guys smarter than I (or is it "me"?) utilize a "live blog" that doesn't require refreshing to cover the Supreme Court as it releases its opinions. Coverage starts at 9:00 a.m. here. Supposed to be a big day.
- D Magazine interns: Then and Now.
- Since I've been getting to work early for the last month, I no longer get to watch the beginning of The Today Show. I TIVO'd it yesterday for the heck of it and discovered something I should have noticed: The show doesn't have a single commercial interruption for the first 22 minutes.
- I don't like traffic circles. And I only know of two of them: Waco and Fort Worth. There used to be one in Weatherford but I think they've pretty much changed that.
- I can't remember the last time I bought a lottery ticket. I used to do a $1 quick pick about twice a month. I don't think I ever won.
- The Huddle House is now open in Decatur. That place may explode due to its high concentration of fat grams (menu here.) I remember when Taco Bell opened and there was a line of about 15 cars deep in the drive through. Arby's was about the same. The Huddle House? Not so much.

Chico Family Deaths: Not Indicted

Story.

Quite frankly, I was surprised he was arrested for Intoxication Manslaughter in the first place. The blood tests revealed no alcohol in his system and only "traces" of marijuana. Since marijuana can stay in your system long after the effects wear off, there is no proof it had any impact on his "mental or physical faculties" (the law) at the time of driving.

Everybody can be outraged, but there simply was no case.

Crazy Talk

Just got the strangest unconfirmed report of a Devon employee finding
a young child duct taped to a tree near FM 2123.

All rumor so far.

Barry (from mobile)

Edit: Caught the story on Fox 4 but there's not a whole lot to it. Saw an interview with the High Sheriff. One arrest was made. The mugshot will probably be on tonight's news.

Edit 2: Fox 4 has the video up.

Random Tuesday Morning Thoughts

- A list of "new classics" from movies, TV and other stuff. I do love lists. (And if you take a look at it, raise your hand if you've heard of the movie "Crumb".)
- Two people were found shot to death this morning in a car in Dallas. Is it just me, or is violent crime ramping up to a late 1980s to early 1990s like rate?
-Tim was back on Fox 4 News this morning. Good times.
- I think I'm seeing more motorcycles on the road than ever before. I suppose gas prices explain it. Edit: According to The Update, Kevin Burns is was one of those motorcycle riders.
- Don Imus is at it again as he asks about the color of Pacman Adam Jones. But flying under the radar is a shocking rap by Shaq as he throws Kobe Bryant under the bus.
- If you've got a couple of minutes, a huge question mark will form over your head once "Ina" begins talking. For me, it was totally worth it.
- I'm listening to the audio book of "What Really Happened" read by the author, Scott McClellan. He seems like he struggles to read sometime which "ain't good" for an audio book. And, after three chapters, I really haven't learned anything.
- James Dobson is dogging Obama. Dobson used to be much more likable before he tried to turn into Jerry Falwell.
- Official county salaries for FY 2008 as posted on the county's web site. (pdf file).
- The Supreme Court is attention seeking just like the rest of us. Why else would they wait until the very end of its term to release the Second Amendment opinion? That's no coincidence.
- And the court's decision yesterday that the Right To Counsel "attaches" once a person is taken before a magistrate to have his bond set after an arrest is about as insignificant as they come. I'm at a loss to determine its practical implications.
- There's a little dachshund that runs around S. Trinity near College Street in Decatur. It's going to get run over.
- I don't understand the guy that posts the end of the world will occur in 2012 (or whatever that date is --- I can't believe I can't remember when it is.)
- Baseball stat that got my attention: Until last weekend, back up Texas Ranger catcher Jarrod Saltalamacchia had allowed 23 consecutive base runners to steal against him.
- For those of you that read People magazine, did you find the pictures of Mario Lopez a bit shocking last week?
- Anybody that posts with the sign off of "Double Fake [insert name]" makes me laugh.
- The two nutcases from the Garland murder (video below) were also interviewed by Rebecca Lopez with Channel 8. Those boys wouldn't shut up.
- And high profile "black on white" crime like the Garland murders sets race relations back ten years in the court of public opinion.
- "Police are investigating why someone shot at the office window of a lawyer running for the Legislature. [Fort Worth] Lawyer Kalandra Wheeler, 29, was not in her office at the Mimi Coffey Law Firm on Thursday night when a shotgun was fired at the window directly behind her desk, according to a police report." I think I've seen Ms. Wheeler at a driver's license hearing.
- Mimi Coffey is a DWI lawyer in Fort Worth. A google search revealed she was honored as "The Most Changed" - presumably from high school.
- I'm serious: I'm not sure the United States will survive another 200 years.
- Amazingly, there was a Big 12 Bass Fishing Tournament last week. (You've gotta be kidding.) Only seven teams participated (Baylor and A&M did not. The Evil Empire did. OU won it.)
- Mother of the Year?

Oh, My

Just when I think I'm pretty jaded, I got shocked again. Fox 4 broadcast the jailhouse interview (note: proof he's an idiot) of a guy who admitted to killing the two men outside of the Christian recording studio in Garland last week. It was full of bleeps and you had to listen carefully to his words to understand him. But when I went to check it out on the Fox 4 web site, I found the video unedited and uncensored in all it's shocking glory. And you will not believe his message to the victim's family near the end. I can't tell you how shocking that whole video is.

News flash: All the rich white folk hang out in Garland.

Fine work of Shaun Rabb. Fox . . . . . 4 . . . . . . . . . . . . News. But he's going to catch a load of crap for saying he "I understand what your saying."

My World Just Turned Upside Down

Any idea who this is? Some young thing that we shouldn't be oogling over?

No sir. This is [................insert drumroll..................] 45 year old Marla Maples!

I've got to be kidding myself.

Proof.

This, They Believe

The Texas Republican Party has released its platform. (25 page pdf file here.) But some good stuff is above (click to enlarge.)

Eliminate no-fault divorce?

And they deal with sodomy in an interesting manner (although there's a little irony in them caring.) If I can interpret the above paragraph, it means: "The Texas courts found the law criminalizing sodomy to be legal even under the U.S. Constitution. But since it was the federal courts that subsequently interpreted the law to be in violation of that very same constitution, what Congress should do is to prevent the federal courts from hearing sodomy cases. That way, Texas courts would be the exclusive forum and they can interpret the federal constitution the way we want."

Minding My Own Business

So I'm at docket this morning in the district court in Decatur - sitting in the back of the room as I tend to do. (You can learn more from back there.) I noticed that a lady, who looked extremely poor, had applied for a court appointed lawyer. This causes a time of great tension amongst the lawyer types in the courtroom since most of us don't exactly enjoy court appointments. So we all held our collective breaths when, as the life force was sucked out of me, the judge called my name. It's like being drafted to fight in a war that moments earlier you didn't even know was going on.

So as I walked up to meet my new client, the assistant DA whispers in my ear, "The offer is 12." That means 12 years. And although I was totally beaten down at this point, I was able to utter a slight bit of a tension breaker by asking, "Who'd she kill?" (You gotta know who you can joke with and who you can't - and I at least knew this would at least get a smile, It did. But it didn't change anything.)

By the way, the actual charge was dope.

But look what happened to my life in a matter of moments: I was minding my own business and then within 45 seconds I'm representing some girl that the State wants to send to the pen. How in the heck did that happen on a Monday morning?

Probably Nothing

Saw a Wise County ambulance and one of the Decatur fire trucks head off down 287. Probably nothing, though. That fire truck seems to go out whenever someone strikes a curb.

Random Monday Morning Thoughts

- The NFL Network had the Top Ten One Hit Wonders (replayed) over the weekend. There were three Cowboys listed: Percy Howard, Clint Longley, and Larry Brown. I really didn't know anything about Howard.
- Cool program I found on the very odd "101 Channel" on DirecTV: Odyssey, Driving Around The World.
- Well, the wind has stopped blowing. Now we're suffocating in the heat.
- I think I saw a "historic" fence mangled on the courthouse lawn this morning - but I didn't get a good look.
- There's a handful of lawyers in Texas that do the Blog Thing for marketing reasons. One lawyer, I learned, has someone write his blog for him. You will not believe the author's bio.
- Saw a story over the weekend about a shortage of DPS Troopers. Starting salary for a DPS recruit.$34,965 Trooper salary after one year. $45,099. That's a heck of a one year raise.
- "A supposed 'pregnancy pact' that drew worldwide attention to eight teenage girls at a Massachusetts high school may be fiction, the city's school board chairman says." I thought that sounded suspicious.
- The Wise County blogger R and R (link over there===>) had an episode of Cops break out in her neighborhood this weekend.
- For years I had never paid attention to Reno 911. Now I can't get enough of it.
- The price of residential real estate in Wise County is ridiculously higher than it is in Tarrant County.
- I went to a legal seminar as a young insurance defense lawyer over a period of weeknight classes held at the Southwestern Medical Center. A doctor, who taught the class on injuries, would actually dissect a human body for us that had been "donated to science." I always wondered if the deceased had that seminar in mind when he decided to donate his body.
- There's nothing more frustrating than jacking around with a weedeater spool.
- I had forgotten how funny Arrested Development was.
- I've got a plea this morning where my client is going from a free-person-out-on bond to a person doing a prison sentence. I hate those pleas.
- Pure stupidity: Operating a motorcycle while drunk and while having a passenger on the back who is not wearing a helmet.
- I havent' been paying too much attention, but apparanlty Hulk Hogan has been saying some controversial things about the treatment of his son who is in jail for the car wreck that seriously injured John Graziano. In response, Graziano''s family released a video of the young man in the hospital. It's so shocking I won't even link to it - but you can find it pretty easily.
- Just the other day I was writing about how George Carlin wasn't funny. His death yesterday has all the radio stations replaying some of his "classic bits." Still not funny.
- Crazy argument of The Ticket this morning - - What's the best thing to go on or in a biscuit: Gravy? Honey? Butter? Jelly? Sausage?
- Still get the occasional complaint of The Blog being slow to load. I really don't get it. It even loads on my cell phone fairly quickly.
- Officials are considering closing the Lubbock courthouse on Friday and going on a four day/10 hour work week.

So Disturbing

Full story.

And Google street view of the intersection:

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