I don't know who this Heidi Montag chick is other than she's on some reality show on MTV or VH1 or Bravo or the Cheese Channel, but I cannot turn on the Internets without her popping onto my screen. It's like a good virus or something. Anyway, here she is "practicing for the Miss Universe contest on Saturday night" which completely confuses me. But if Britney ever has an unfortunate demise, I've got this gal on standby to assume the #1 status.