Future Mrs. Greens

Sure you laugh. Until the 1:00 minute mark. Edit: At least one person claims it won't play. Direct link is here.

Random Tonya Harding Pic

Decatur Beggar Spotted Today In Decatur

(Thanks emailer.)

Cool

You start with this: And you can zoom in this close: If you want to play around with an amazing "scan and zoom" pic from the inauguration, click here.

Decatur's Friday Fast Food Crisis

The humanity! Line around Whataburger drive though at least four cars deep to order: Taco Bell stacked up:

Friday Afternoon Pick Me Up

Plastic Chairs Injured At Australian Open

Although I refuse to watch tennis unless it's Wimbledon and I'm sitting on my couch in my underwear on the 4th of July weekend, I was pretty excited when someone promoted this clip as a "near riot" happening outside the Australian Open. My disappointment level, however, couldn't be greater. That's a fight? Throwing plastic chairs at each other from 10 yards away? Sheesh. I've cleared the bar at Frilly's with more violence than that. And what's up with the fat man in the yellow shirt? He can shut down the whole fight just by raising his hand? He should have just held up one of those "Quiet" signs you see at a golf tourney -- I think the hooligans would have run away at the sight of it.

Random Friday Morning Thoughts

• Just knowing it's Friday is-a-good.
• Regarding the suppression of the blood results in the judge's case mentioned below, the prosecution can still try the case. But it would be a weird trial because both sides would have to pretend in front of the jury that the request for blood never happened.
• The State can appeal the judge's ruling to suppress the blood results -- and trust me, they will. It's one of the few appellate rights the government has. For instance, the government can never appeal a "not guilty" verdict.
• The judge ruled that the affidavit which gave rise to the search warrant for blood was insufficient. Honestly, it would be hard to screw one of those up. Most are cookie cutter forms which have check boxes for signs of intoxication (i.e. bloodshot eyes, red and glassy eyes, smell of alcohol, staggered walk, slurred speech, etc.)
• I once saw the judge that recused himself in the case catch a plastic replica of the female genitalia in the hallway of the Tarrant County DA's office. (Crazy story that would take too long to explain.)
• I would like to be the official White House photographer.
• I think a blog that covered nothing but what was going on in the Wise County courthouse on a daily basis would be very popular.
• Reunion Tower in Dallas was opened in 1978. I've been to the top of it once.
• I don't want to get old but I look forward to the day where my actions can be excused because I'm just "old and crazy." And, man, I'm going to milk that for all it's worth.
• If I could go back to school, I might major in History. If you can fire off a bunch of history in any conversation, you sound pretty dang smart.
• There are very few people in this world that I "connect" with. But my internal reaction makes me smile when I see them -- like we both have a funny story to tell each other even though we don't.
• I could do this: Yankee shortstop Derek Jeter is building a 31,000 square foot house on land he bought for $6 million. And he didn't take out a mortgage.

Uh, Oh

Right or wrong, I don't think this is going to sit to well with the general public. Story. (Thanks, Kevin.)

Thursday Afternoon Pick Me Up

This may be my greatest Pick Me up of all time. I'm so proud of myself that I'm having my secretary create a Certificate Of Achievement In The Field Of Finding Hot Women. (Note: I think I've got that saved under the folder, "Me Loves Me Some Me.") And I think I'll put a Paypal button on this blog so you guys (and select gals) can send me buckets of cash for making your life better today. And, man, I'm a fan of the shiny bikini.

Does This Look Like A Wise County Family . . .

. . . that would be arrested for meth? I wonder which one has the most remorse? And that one on the lower right kind of looks like the actor from Speed Racer and Alpha Dog.

Big 12 Humor

You really need to be a college football fan and be familiar with the Big 12 to enjoy it, but if you qualify: Here is Hitler's rant. (Thanks emailer.)

Random Thursday Morning Thoughts

• I'll be glad when the week is over.
• The wreck that took the life of the Decatur teen yesterday was so odd. No collision with another vehicle. Open and wide road. No intersection.
• And I saw where the Decatur Football Banquet has been postponed. I'm sure it's because of the accident.
• I get tired of all the commercials telling me to invest in gold. (Hey, the fact that it is "near and all time high" is a bad thing.)
• Lost tried to bring everyone up to date with a one hour show last night at 7:00 p.m. Despite having seen the first season, I could only think, "Craziest show ever." Uh, they moved the island?
• The chances of me talking on the phone after I leave the office for the day is easily less than 5%.
• I really get excited when one of the national networks abruptly breaks into regular programming with "breaking news." Not this local "breaking news" crap, but with real stop down news. It happens maybe three times a year.
• Watched Office Space again last weekend. I hit replay on the "show her my O face" scene a couple of times.
• I programmed my home DVR over the Internet from the office yesterday to record the local news about the local tragedy/wreck.
• When I click on a video from a news web site, I'll put up with a commercial that lasts no longer than 15 seconds. If it's 30 seconds, I'm out.
• The nominees for the most over-rated award were announced this morning: The Academy Awards. By the way, the over-rated Dark Knight received no nominations in the top categories other than Heath Ledger. And Clint Eastwood didn't get nominated for saying "get off my lawn" (yeah!!!!!!!!!).
• I think I've lost a little weight.
• I like it when I pass toddlers on the street and they scream "Hi!!!!" at me.
• Funniest scene in a DWI video I watched the other day. An arrested and angry female asks the trooper if he's married. Trooper responds that he is. Female looks away and sarcastically says under her breath, "Luuuuuucky gal."
• Yep, Obama had to be sworn in again. It wasn't necessary but it's the only way to shut up the wackos. But I wonder if he went back and re-signed the handful of documents that he signed on Tuesday?
• But the Drudge Report has a headline screaming this morning that "No Bible Was Used" during the do over. The entire right wing may suffer from a collective heart attack before the week is over because of the Obama presidency.
• I've not had a Big Mac in over a decade. Maybe 15 years.
• Amazing stat: Fort Worth had the fewest number of homicides in 40 years last year. With more people, more guns, and more general craziness, how is that possible? You know what Freakonmics attributes the lower crime rate to? Roe v. Wade.

Local Television Coverage of Today's Fatal Crash

Channel 8: Channel 11: Fox 4:

Minor Courthouse News

(1) We just had the very awkward panic-button-accidentally-pushed scenario which caused the courthouse to be swarming with cops, and (2) Looky! We're still celebrating Christmas!

Does This . . .

. . . look like the face of a 50 year old grandmother and her boyfriend who were arrested for meth in Johnson County?

Wednesday Pick Me Up

A genius Ebay ad. (And there's more pics there.) (Thanks Keith.)

How Does Decatur Not Have A TGIF?

Men's Health updates it's list of worst foods:

• The Worst Food in America of 2009: Baskin Robbins Large Chocolate Oreo Shake, 2,600 calories, 135 g fat ... "more than a day's worth of calories and three days worth of saturated fat, and, worst of all, usually takes less than 10 minutes to sip through a straw."
• Worst Sandwich of 2009: Quizno’s Tuna Melt (large), 2,090 calories, 175 g fat ... "Puts tuna’s healthy reputation on the line. A large homemade sandwich would likely provide one-fourth of the calories."
• Worst Salad of 2009: T.G.I. Fridays Pecan Crusted Chicken Salad, 1,360 calories, Fat: unknown ... "Six out of the seven (TGIF salads) we analyzed topped out with more than 900 calories, which means that lunchtime can be the start of something big—namely, your belly."
• Worst Burger of 2009: Chili’s Smokehouse Bacon Triple-The-Cheese Big Mouth Burger with Jalapeno Ranch Dressing, 2,040 calories, 150 g fat ... " ... Two-and-a-half day’s worth of fat—a full third of which is saturated. To do that much damage with roasted sirloin, you’d have to eat about eight 6-ounce steaks."

Complete list here.

Random Wednesday Morning Thoughts

• Yesterday should have been called "Conservatives Driven Crazy Day."
• That littlest Obama girl sure is a jumpy happy little thing.
• I feel sorry for the thoughtful conservative who oppose Obama who are forced to stand next to the many redneck racists among us.
• You've probably never heard it, but the brief radio show called "The Huckabee Report" is condescending.
• I had a crazy dream last night. A guy didn't want me to report that he had dug up his murder victim so he could murder him again.
• That McKinney quadruple murder case is odd. Yesterday a guy testified that he and the defendant were responsible for the killings but also claimed that he hadn't struck a deal with prosecutor's for his testimony. I question that.
• That Bridgeport/Decatur basketball Internet broadcast (link below) was of really good quality. Isn't it a matter of time before there are video broadcasts of every high school event?
• I still like the mascot name of "Sissies." (If you pull out a 1970s book about Bridgeport's Sesquicentennial, you'll find that the boys team was originally named "Bullies" on the basis that, before the team had a name, a reporter asked a player what the teams mascot was. "I don't know," said the player. "But when we lose he calls us sissies and when we win he calls us bullies."
• Despite the multiple comments yesterday, I don't thing George Bush was "hated" from the start. It was his actions that caused his popularity to plunge.
• I don't like 55 degree days. Either be hot or cold.
• John Roberts should be absolutely embarrassed for screwing up the oath of office. And when you watch it again, it's obvious that Obama paused to give the guy a chance to get it right. What a shame for that moment to have been ruined.
• I wonder how long it will take the nutcases to say, "He's not President because he didn't take the real oath of office!!!"
• The concept of meeting someone for breakfast in a restaurant is not appealing.
• The Unions are taking credit for saving the passengers of the jet that went into the Hudson. (Emailed to me.)
• Motorcycle death.

.

Bad Wreck. Bad Picture.

That big ol' blurb of lights to the right represents a bunch of emergency vehicles responding to a wreck on northbound 287 right before the 730 exit. It looked like a tan pickup had rolled and, although I'm not sure, it looked like there was a sheet over the driver's area. Edit: The Messenger's Update is reporting that it involves the fatality of a Decatur High School female student. Edit #2: Fox 4 has a blurb about it.

Replay: The Oath Of Office

Man, people are quick. (Thanks, Kevin.)

Radio Gold?

As part of Bridgeport High's Journalism broadcast, they will be putting on an Internet Broadcast of the Decatur v. Bridgeport girls varsity basketball game tonight. Link should be here. (Link updated.) They didn't tell me when it starts, but I'm sure someone will know in the comments. Edit: Started at 6:50 p.m. And I had no idea the Bridgeport Sissies were 23-1.

Fox Anchor Arrested -- But It's The Tampa Affiliate

I'd post this regardless of what the story was behind it, but did the police really have to give him the What For? Well, Mr. Police People, it just so happens we've got a new sheriff in the Oval Office as of this morning. So you may have gotten away with last weekend, but no more. We've got some Change coming! (And you know they wouldn't have done that to Megan Henderson. Tim Ryan, yeah. But not Megan.)

"Senator Collapses At Lunch"

CNN is reporting that either Senator Ted Kennedy or Robert Byrd has "collapsed" at the Obama luncheon moments ago. Edit: Then they cut to the luncheon and it's going on just as normally as can be. Odd. Edit #2: Confirmed. It's Kennedy. Edit #3: Sheesh. Now it's reported that paramedics were called to help Byrd as well. Edit #4: Emailer sweet Alice (who works for Fox 4) writes to tell me that Byrd wasn't sick, just bored. An AP story will confirm this shortly.

Inauguration Observations

• President Bush didn't get much of an ovation when he was introduced.
• Rick Warren gave the invocation which sounded more like a speech than a prayer. There was even applause during it!
• Many wondered whether Warren would use Jesus' name in the prayer. He did but in a weird way -- he used about four different variations. I'm not sure I understood that.
• Edit: Warren called Jesus, "Yeshua, Isa, Jesus [pronounced hay-zeus], Jesus." And I found the explanation as being: He said Jesus' name in the language of the world's three monotheistic faiths: Judaism, Islam, and Christianity. (And also in Spanish.)
• Aretha Franklin then sang "My Country Tis Of Thee" (or whatever the name is). She had one crazy tricked up hat on.
• The number of people on the mall is absolutely amazing.
• Justice John Paul Stevens (a good one) then gave the oath of office to Joe Biden. (There was some guy about 10 feet back wearing a cowboy hat.) That, by the way, is one long oath. So I guess at that moment W was the President and Biden was the Vice President.
• Then there was a four piece ensemble that played a very reverent piece. Nice touch. It was called "Air and Simple Gifts" according to CNN.
• Odd: It 12:04 p.m. Eastern and NBC just said, "Barack Obama became the President four minutes ago even though he hasn't taken the oath."
• Time for the oath. Uh. Oh. We had a little bit of a stumble. Man, I've got to watch that again. I'm not sure Justice John Roberts didn't mess up.

Roberts: "I Barack Hussein Obama." Obama: "I Barack . . . " Roberts " do solemnly swear." Obama: "I Barack Hussein Obama do solemnly swear." Roberts: "That I will execute the office of President to the United States faithfully." Obama: "That I will execute . . . [awkward pause]." Roberts: "the off . . . faithfully the Pres . . . the office of President of the United States faithfully." Obama: "The office of President of the United States faithfully." Roberts: "And will to the best of my ability." Obama: "And will to the best of my ability." ....[rest said correctly]

• I'll get a video of that. It'll be up in seconds I bet. Edit: Got it (it starts at the 33 second mark.)
• Edit: Woah!! Roberts did mess it up. He should have said: ""I do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will faithfully execute the office of President of the United States"
• A commenter and I posted the error at exactly the same time.
• There goes the white man trying to keep the black man down again. :)
• Someone wants me to point out that Obama's sideburns are uneven.
• Now for speech. It's a firey tone!
• "With hope and virtue, let us brave once more the icy currents, and endure what storms may come. Let it be said by our children's children that when we were tested we refused to let this journey end, that we did not turn back nor did we falter; and with eyes fixed on the horizon and God's grace upon us, we carried forth that great gift of freedom and delivered it safely to future generations."
• Then there was a poem. Kind of like something you'd hear in a Beatnik bar on open mic night.
• Later .... Watching Obama escort Bush to the helicopter is just an amazing and moving sight.

Random Tuesday Morning Thoughts

• It's W's last day! It's W's last day!
• The content of The Dallas Morning News is shrinking at an alarming rate.
• I used a hand held blow dryer on my hair this morning for the first time in two years. It is so long in the back that it was officially proclaimed as Crazy Hair yesterday.
• T. Boone Pickens bankrolls Oklahoma State to such an extent that they've offered $700,000 a year for their defensive coordinator's job.
• Compare that to this paragraph from a 1982 Sport's Illustrated story about Texas A&M hiring head coach Jackie Sherrill: "Six days earlier, the 38-year-old Sherrill had stunned the college football world by signing a six-year contract with the Aggies for—hold on, folks—$267,000 a year, a total of $1,602,000. That makes him far and away the highest-paid college coach in the land."
• Craziest recall ever.
• I saw The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button. Verdict: Not bad. My problem is that I over-think anything that requires a suspension of belief.
• I was reminded how much I like The Bluest Eyes In Texas last night after I heard a contemporary version of it at the end of a movie. Love it.
• I like standing in my driveway and looking at my house.
• The hatred for Obama before he has even taken office is unsettling and jaw dropping. It's like they want him and, as a result, the country to fail.
• WBAP's Hal Jay called the inauguration a "farce" this morning and asked Mark Davis "are you really moved by this?" Absolutely incredible. The average old white guy doesn't understand what is going on.
• Tony Romo's latest quote: "If I'm never going to win the Super Bowl, I'll be content in life." Is this guy a quarterback or some kind of New Age Zen Master?
• The Star Telegram's Bud Kennedy is in Washington covering the inauguration. He sent in this pic of the subway escalators this morning.
• 80 degrees on Thursday?
• When MLK was uttering the words "I have a dream", there was a guy right behind him looking up in the air like he wasn't paying attention.
• The seven year old from Boyd who got a heart transplant yesterday gets a story in the Star Telegram. If that ever happened to me, I would want to know who the donor was and then I would constantly visit their grave.
• Edit: And VP Dick Cheney will be on stage in a wheelchair today because he hurt his back moving?
• Edit: Jarhead sends along this approval rating chart.

We Are One: The Obama Inaugural Celebration

I just watched it off TIVO, and it was really, really great. This old cynical heart of mine doesn't get moved much anymore, but it was truly inspirational. Maybe, just maybe, we can get back on track. Catch a replay of it if you can. Musical highlights:

• Garth singing "Shout" and "We Will Be Free" in front of a backdrop of black and white kids singing as happily as could be. Edit: And, yeah, he did whip me with his "look at me" stage antics.
• U2 being U2
• James Taylor singing "Shower The People" with John Legend backing him up.
• Usher, Shakira and Stevie Wonder singing "Superstition."
• Josh Groden Groben

Computer Simulation Of The Plane That Ended Up In The Hudson

Cool.

Border Guards Sentence Commuted

At the very last minute. Background on Wikipedia here. I really don't know much about it other than the right wing has been yelling about this case for years. (And I saw Texas Republican Representative Ted Poe -- a former hang em high judge -- claims on TV that he had read the entire transcript of the trial and say the convictions were a travesty. I remember that because I seriously doubted he read it.)

Monday Afternoon Pick Me Up

Evil Empire Spawn Drops Ball

I saw Limus Sweed, former UT receiver, drop this ball yesterday. The fact he screwed up made the clip fairly noteworthy, but the icing on the cake was what came afterwards. It was the ol' "I Just Messed Up So I Better Act Hurt" routine. But, man, it got him no sympathy from the home crowd. When he finally walked off the field so slowly (to show he was really hurt), he was booed mercilessly. I remember a guy at Bridgeport who would do the same thing. If he ever fumbled you could bet the house he'd be rolling on the ground holding his knee or arm. It was a sure thing.

Random Monday Morning Thoughts

• I think it's silly when any pro athlete says, "We shocked the world today!" after an upset victory. I don't think a couple of guys in Sudan really care that much.
• Double motorcycle death in Dallas last night.
• The Pittsburgh Steeler coach just looks cool. Now think about Wade Phillips.
• I'm a fan of Obama, but the man sure does like pomp and circumstance.
• I understand "pomp" but not so sure about "circumstance" in that phrase.
• My weekend was filled with turmoil.
• I had no idea that the celebration at the Lincoln Memorial was going on yesterday. But someone emailed so I was able to TIVO a replay of it on HBO. But what was it doing on HBO?
• If McCain had been elected, the Lincoln Memorial would have been very quiet yesterday.
• So how is Washington paying for the beefed up security for the inauguration? President Bush declared it an "emergency" so as to to tap into FEMA funds. That's kind of funny.
• Video on relationships.
• What the heck is Hannah Montana wearing?
• If you are hanging out at the ZaZaZa Sports Bar (Google street view) in Fort Worth, and a gal starts flirting with you: Be Careful.
• Chesley B. "Sully" Sullenberger has a pretty hot wife. (I saw her in an interview in her driveway but couldn't locate a picture of her this morning.)
• Too young to have really accomplished anything? The new coach at Tampa Bay is 32 years old.
• I feel stupid. American painter Andrew Wyeth died last week, and I heard several reports that his "Christina's World" painting was the second most recognizable painting (behind American Gothic.) I'll swear I had never seen it. Ever.
• I bought my nephew an autographed photo of Kurt Warner back when he (uh, Warner) was the quarterback of the St. Louis Rams who won the Super Bowl. Now that Warner is headed back to the championship game, I wonder if the photo is in a safe place or lost.
• The Wise County Courthouse is closed today for MLK day. I'm reasonably certain that no African American has officed in that building.
• There are a lot of people in this world that need to talk less and listen more.

Welcome To Idiocracy

And this week's box office winner is: I saw a mom holding a little baby last night at a restaurant. That, like many things do, stopped me down for a moment. Part of me was really jealous of that little baby. Think about it. With the Internet and the way the world is changing these days, what will that kid be able to experience? The mind boggles. And then I learned a second ago that Mall Cop is the most popular movie this weekend, and now I'm worried that sweet little baby may grow up in a world that I don't want to see. (Now I'm sure My Bloody Valentine is a kick arse movie, but Mall Cop?)

Random News Story

There's a long story today in the Star Telegram about the prosecution of cases involving mortgage fraud. And therein was this example:

Last year, Lobingier prosecuted Stephen B. Jones, 44, who falsified documents to inflate his income so he could purchase a $650,000 house. Jones, who was in training to be a mortgage broker, pulled other people’s financial records, whited out their names and typed in his own.

An astute underwriter discovered the scam. A jury later convicted Jones of making a false statement to obtain property and sentenced him to 45 years in prison.

Please tell me there's more to the story than that. 45 years? For that?

Ambrosia

A sign the Apocalypse is upon us. During halftime of one of the MANY flag football games I helped officiate yesterday in Bridgeport, my fellow refs got into a discussion of the meaning of the word "Ambrosia." Don't ask. The choices: 1. A fruity salad with whipped cream. 2. A 70s band (my choice) which led to a brief rendition of "That's how much I feel - feel for you, baby." 3. A drink of a Greek god (an elected official's choice) 4. Something to do with men's personal hygienic grooming.