I Hope There Is More To This Story

The new Denton Police twitter feed is a little addicting. This poor girl was arrested in the middle of the night a few hours ago for speeding. Speeding? It's one of two traffic violations you cannot be arrested for in Texas. The other is "Open Container."

"I can't think about that right now. If I do, I'll go crazy. I'll think about that tomorrow. "

OK, we all know that Gov. Perry suggested that Texas could secede from the United States, and we all know that's not going to happen. But I'm very confused by an article from the great Bud Kennedy of the Star Telegram and a blog post by the Texas Monthly (with the brilliant name of "Secessional Healing") that argue Texas can't secede because the U.S. Constitution says that it can't. Huh? Taken to its extreme yet logical conclusion: We all pick up our guns and tell the United States, "We're through! We're forming our own Republic once again!" And then we'd all do an about face and go sheepishly into the night after the U.S. replies, "You can't do that. That's against the law!" ?

"Because Everyone Needs And Excuse To Get Out Of Gym Class"

"I've Got A Feeling ..."

The Ticket talked about this gal the other day, and I've seen at least two other people write about her since then. She is Camille Cortinas. Her current claim to fame? She's the voice behind the kidnapping-of-the-mind song, "Lucky Day", which promotes the Texas Lottery. You can find a quick loading link to the song here. But I promise you, if you listen to it, it will be struck in your brain pan for the rest of the day. Or longer.

Pressing Question From Email Bag

Dear Mr. Green - Purveyor of Trust and Justice:* Have all McDonalds always charged a 50 cent dine in TAX on their orders? First time I noticed it yesterday when I stopped in Decatur for a quick snack.I guess they get your money one way or the other. Considering I haven't been inside a McDonald's in 15 years, I have no idea. But the masses must know the answer. ___________ * Ok, that part was made up Wow, a receipt was sent to me:

From The Liberally Lean Triple Doppler Weather Center

Random Friday Morning Thoughts

• Motorcycle craziness: Last night a guy tries to pass a truck on an entrance ramp from the George Bush Turnpike to the North Dallas Tollway, strikes the side cement guard, and his female passenger flies off the bike and over the side of the ramp landing 65 feet below. Oh, my. Her condition is unknown.
• John Madden retirement thought #1: The guy has always driven me nuts having become nothing but a caricature of himself. But if someone does anything for 30 years, that automatically happens.
• Madden thought #2: Someone pointed out that he never used sarcasm. I'm not sure he was sharp enough to use sarcasm.
• Madden thought #3: I caught a replay of a game on the NFL Network that Madden did about 10 years ago. It's amazing how much energy he's lost over the years. Ten years ago he was yelling the tiresome cliches of "This is as good as it gets! This is what it''s all about!" as the kickoff happened
• Madden thought #4: I wonder how much he has made simply by licensing his name to the Madden NFL video game.
• Edit: Extra Madden thought -- I didn't know he had about $12 million and three years left on his contract.
• President Barack Obama and his wife earned $2.73 million last year and paid $855,323 in federal taxes for 2008.
• Thunder is good.
• I really debated about posting the rump shaking video from yesterday. I just couldn't resist.
• Saw someone mention yesterday they are already sick of Susan Boyle of Britain's Got Talent. True that.
• I stumbled across The Jerry Springer Show last night. You know, I think he would get bored with guests coming on stage and fighting each other. Then again, pay me enough and I would happily host it. It'd be more fun that Wheel Of Fortune.
• Teach your kids that Jesus loves them and about racial stereotypes.
• Youtube has added full length movies and TV shows. Most of them are bad.Very bad.
• Fifty year old mother (of the year) has surgery so she can look like daughter. Not bad. May she be a role model to all mothers out there.
• Every time I see an old episode of Arrested Development on TV I stop down.
• And to all of you emailers that sent me the story of "High School Cheer Coach Fired After Posing Nude" -- why do you think I'd possibly be interested in that? Oh, yeah.
• Wise County drug connection?

I'm Insane Now

The Denton Police Department has a Twitter feed to update who has been booked into jail, what the charge was, and a link to their book-in photo? Oh, my. To make it crazier, the Denton Police have nothing to do with it. (Thank, Alice.)

Thursday Afternoon Pick Me Up

More proof that any holiday can be tricked up.

The Search Is Over For The Next Mrs. Green

Twerk Team-@ Transfers Ft Twerk Team - video powered by Metacafe

Random Thursday Morning Thoughts

• That water looks nasty.
• I'm not a hamburger guy, but everyone is talking about "Five Guys Burgers and Fries" which has opened in the Southlake Town Center.
• The Tea Party in Decatur was pretty interesting. But they didn't get the memo that it was supposed to be a non-partisan affair since the Obama bashing was front and center.
• And the first speaker, who seemed to be a very nice lady, spent a lot of time advocating "putting God back in school." That's a bit ironic since it was supposed to be an anti-big government rally and she was supporting government mandating religion in locally controlled schools.
• And there was a funny moment when sirens could be heard in the background and one of the protestors yelled, "They are coming for us!"
• Another funny moment was when one of the speakers supported term limits by saying, "We have them now! Vote out the incumbents after two terms regardless of who is running against them!" The very conservative assistant DA standing beside me mumbled, "I don't know about that."
• Remember Northwest softball star Britney Barnhill? In her sophomore year at The Evil Empire, she is 20-9 with a 2.73 ERA --- the best on the team.
• I've never cared much for the Rolling Stones, but I never get tired of listening to the opening of Gimme Shelter (but it's that female vocalist in the chorus that makes the song.)
• I discovered there's a free "ink edition" of dfw.com which is basically an entertainment section of the Star Telegram (although I have no idea if it is associated with the paper). Man, it's great. And edgy.
• Crazy hypothetical thought: If Texas voted to secede from the U.S., would the U.S. send in military or let us go? (Side note: Rick Perry played the Tea Party bit very well.)
• The confederate flag made an appearance at the Tea Party in Burleson. Incredible.
• OK, I'm done with Tea Party Talk.
• I'll say it again: The documentary Thrilla in Manila currently being shown on HBO is absolutely great.
• Is Seth Rogen in every comedy these days?
• I remember one morning in the 1990s that there was a line of people in Decatur 100 yards long waiting to buy the newest Beanie Babies. (Very funny video of that silly craze here.)
• I've not posted some comments that attack another commentor's kids.

Hey, Kid, That's Kinda Funny

Officer Randy White's Widow Appears on Channel 8.

Link. (Thanks emailer, David.)

Paul Revere made an appearance

Tea Party Pic

Kind of interesting: You can see pictures from across the nation being posted on Twitter here.

Shout Out

Any dentist who can get me into his office with no notice and greets me with "I read on your blog this morning that you were having a little trouble" deserves a public note of thanks. Hero of the Moment: Dr. Dan Selz. (Funny observation: An elderly patient kind of complaining about having a different dental hygienist clean his teeth -- "You aren't the one who did it last time!" -- while also admitting he hadn't been there since 2005.)

Random Wednesday Morning Thoughts

• We've now got a "Border Czar." Note: If your job description has "Czar" in it, odds are you're in charge of a problem that can't be solved.
• Last week I mentioned I wasn't sold on the Rangers after their 3-0 start and now they've lost five straight. (I've got a friend that claims I have the ability to jinx any team.)
• I like the terms "minx" and "vixen."
• I like the Star-Telegram's Bud Kennedy but he's going to catch grief for writing today that "State's Rights" is "a quaint throwback to the segregation era."
• Does every media outlet have to play "Tax Man" by the Beatles today?
• Saw a longtime female defendant up at the courthouse yesterday who looked a little chunky. Courthouse personnel conclusion: She must finally be off the dope.
• Shocked to hear that a 30 year employee at the courthouse in the maintenance department was let go. There has to be a story behind that.
• I think I've filed a tax extension on this day every year of my working life.
• I'm never interested in celebrity divorces.
• Someone yelled at me in the comments last week because I revealed the ending of a documentary. At first I thought it was a silly criticism -- should I not be able to reveal the ending of a documentary, say, about the Civil War? -- but if you don't know, you don't know.
• I don't know who Michael Irvin's partner is on his radio show, but that guy is the most annoying person ever.
• I'm currently reading Jesus, Interrupted. Fascinating.
• I really don't listen to that much music, but I can't avoid that "Poker Face" song.
• Dear My Dentist In Bridgeport: I've got a developing situation. Please work me into your schedule today when I call.
• The Cowboys released their schedule yesterday so I started thinking about planning one of my football road trips. In November Dallas plays at Green Bay and the day before Michigan plays at the University of Wisconsin. That would work.
• Blogging flashback: You think this guy is regretting buying two high priced condos in Dallas?

While You Were Sleeping

On 4/14/09 at approximately 9:25 p.m. a group of motorcycles was traveling northbound on W. Loop 820 South approaching I-30. Two riders accelerated ahead of the group then slowed down. Two more riders accelerated ahead of the main group and came upon the first two that had slowed down. One of the riders was not able to slow down enough to avoid striking the rear of another motorcycle. That rider (26 year old black male) was ejected from his bike and died at the scene from the injuries that he sustained. The other rider (37 year old black male) of the motorcycle that he struck was transported to Harris Hospital and listed in stable condition. Both of the involved riders were wearing helmets and it is unknown at this time if alcohol or drugs were involved. (Thanks emailer)

Wheels Of Justice Got Stuck

About 5:00 p.m. yesterday near Sunset, TX. (Thanks emailer)

Viva La Revolution: And Rick Perry Shall Lead Us

A few weeks back, I mentioned a resolution in the Texas Legislature that pretty much said: "Hey, federal government, get off of our lawn!" Which, in legal terms, means that some in Texas believe the federal government has become a monster never anticipated by the Constitution and it is the States that rightfully should have the vast majority of the power. (You'll hear people quote the Tenth Amendment which says that unless the Constitution expressly provides a power to the federal government, that power is possessed by the States.) Ron Paul believes it. Right wingers believe. Libertarians believe it. Heck, I believe it having preached it for years. (I wrote a boring, yet insightful, article on it back in 1997 during my DA days.) Rick Perry has stunningly (for him) decided that this is a pretty good horse to ride, and he has been everywhere today preaching the "State's Rights" message. He's been promoting the Resolution cited above and has rattled off "Tenth Amendment" in every other sentence. (He even made it to the Sean Hannity Radio Show.) Well, it all comes to a head tomorrow when a variety of anti-big government Tea Parties take place across the nation. Those in Texas are really jumping on this band wagon, and Gov. Perry is supporting them all -- if not taking the lead. (There will even be one in Decatur at the courthouse.) I just think it is too late. The federal government will always be a 500 pound gorilla and no "peaceful" revolution will ever change that. Too many people are apathetic. I care, I just think it's a hopeless cause. It may take a revolution, but it won't be at the ballot box. And I don't see that ever happening until a complete economic collapse has all of us raiding grocery stores before all the food is gone. Then we'll start from scratch again.

Well I'll Be

A posted an old bunny pic of this minx yesterday. Come to find out, she dressed up like this over the weekend.

Caption This

Talking Baby Daddies and Baby Mommas

I think the following is shocking:

• 40% of all births in 2007 were out of wedlock.
• Random thought: "wedlock" is a funny word.
• That's an amazing 25% increase in the last five years
• The race breakdown in terms of percentage of all births is White: 25%, Hispanic: 51%, and Black: 72%

Source.

Random Tuesday Morning Thoughts

• Odd baseball thought: Was there ever a time when the umpire, after a foul ball, would throw a new ball out to the pitcher instead of handing it to the catcher?
• If you could have bad memories erased from your 'noggin, would you?
• Over the weekend I watched the new documentary on HBO called "Thrilla In Manila" about the final Ali/Frazier fight. If you can remember those times in boxing, you'll absolutely love it.
• And remember how hard it was to get information back then? After a championship fight, you were lucky if the local sports would tell you the result. Photos or, heaven forbid, video was out of the question
• One more thought: The day after the fight, my down-the-street-neighbor, Bud Vinson, and I were playing football in the street. When the evening edition of the Star-Telegram was thrown, we ran over to it to read about the fight. I remember a pic of a battered Joe Frazier and felt awful for him.
• I'm OK now.
• Funny exchange at the courthouse yesterday: Person A: "They are getting crazier and are almost impossible to deal with." Person B: "Who? The inmates or the DA's office?"
• Funny exchange #2 in discussing a secure place to keep a firearm: Person A: "Do you have a gun case?" Person B: "No, it was dismissed." Person A: "Huh?"
• The Rangers have changed the Dot Race from showing it on a video screen to three guys in Dot outfits running around the field. That's funny. Edit: Fox 4 did a bit on it last week.
• I'll occasionally stumble upon the Dr. Phil show. It sucks the life force out of me like nobody's business.
• The Shooting Of The Pirates (I'm going to trademark that phrase) was absolutely amazing based upon the ABC News graphic re-creation. (But I don't buy for a second that they shot because they feared the captain was in imminent danger at that very second. They shot because there was an open shot. But I really don't have a problem with that.)
• I can only think that baseball attendance will continue to fall. With more and more people able to sit comfortably in their homes watching in HD (if they care to watch at all), the whipping of driving to the game seems less and less appealing.
• Attendance at last night's Ranger game: 12,184. Eek. That's the "smallest crowd for a scheduled game in Rangers Ballpark in Arlington history."
• Trifecta death yesterday: Harry Kalas (who I considered the new voice of NFL films), ex-Tigers phenom Mark Fidrych (he talked to the baseball on the mound) and Marilyn Chambers (the greatest actress of her generation.)
• Guy gets handsy at The Masters last weekend. You can't do that!
• Hot girl. A krillion pics. Same pose. Every time. Here. (I don't know why, but I feel the need to warn that that the "B" word appears in the first few seconds.) But it can't be real. Can it?

Glenn Beck Almost Bored A Man To Death Today On Live TV

Uppity Dallas Folks Be Hatin' On Boyd

From D Magazine's blog, comes these comments about the presidential dog being from Boyd.

And Another......Wait.........What?

Link. Edit: But we did have a more traditional wreck later.

Post Easter Pick Me Up

Wreck?

Got a report of a big accident on 287 outside of Decatur. All I know is that there are emergency sirens firing off all over the place. Anybody know anything? Edit: A fire at the Dairy Queen?

It's Just Like The Titanic, Except With Bears

Story here. Video of them trying to get her ample body out of the bear pit here.

Random Monday Morning Thoughts

• The new presidential dog, Bo, is from Wise County? Yep. Edit: Boyd to be exact.
• It's almost impossible to watch a golf tournament on TV because I get beaten down with some spare guy yelling, "Get in the hole!"
• Master's thought: I felt sorry for the Kenny Perry blowing the lead, and I liked the crazy look of Japanese golfer Shingo Katayama.
• Question in Parade magazine: Who takes care of OJ Simpson's kids while he is in prison? No one. They are now 23 and 20.
• You can't blame a reporter for referring to Montague County as "mont-a-gyou" since that's probably the way it should be pronounced.
• The shooting of the pirates sounds more exciting than most action movies. Edit: I just heard the surviving pirate is 16 years old. Really?
• The "feel good" video of the day yesterday came from a British show involving Simon Cowell.
• One of the best things about Easter is seeing little kids all dressed up.
• Ann Curry's twitter page makes her even more annoying. And I didn't think that was possible.
• Step Brothers didn't do much for me. There were a couple of funny moments, but that's about it.
• Yesterday my mom gave me an incredible scrap book of newspaper clippings from my years as DA in the 1990s. It's amazing. I had no idea she kept all that stuff.
• Kurt Cobain has a son (or so a TV show casually mentioned yesterday)?
• The new Hannah Montana movie was #1 at the box office over the weekend. That kid just prints money.
• I saw someone's foundation being repaired over the weekend. I don't think I've ever seen that before, and it looked like a total beating.
• The most confusing Google Street View shot ever. (Thanks, Keith.)