Oh, My

There appeared to be a couple of vehicles not playing nice with each other on 287 when they clipped each other causing both to wreck. (Around 407, southbound). No serious injuries. And three miles to the north on 287 traffic was down to one lane while every cop in the southwest proper was involved in (reportedly) the arrest of individual(s) involved in robbery and/or homicide in Wichita Falls and Sanger earlier today. (Thanks, Trina.)

Seen In Bridgeport

They've become speed obsessed. Thanks, emailer.

74,283

That's the number of people sent to prison (and that does not include local county jails for misdemeanor offenses) in Texas in FY 2008. Yep, that's in one single year. And 35% of those were for drug offenses. Incredible. Full pdf report.

Who Is The Hot Girl . . .

. . . in the Owner's Suite with W last night at the Ballpark? Edit: Man, you people are brutal.

Why I Wouldn't Want To Be In Congress

How would you like to have most of your Saturday dedicated to a speaking engagement at an Alvord Ranch about a subject like that? And I wonder how many people will show up. (Editor's note: I want to go on record as being offended by the word "retarding" - we're better than that. ) This reminded me of a very bizarre experience in the mid-1990s when Senator Phil Gramm made an appearance in Wise County to speak about some new federal sexual registration program. It was to be at the Sheriff's office conference room but for one reason or another it wasn't highly advertised. (I showed up because I was DA at the time, and it seemed like something I should do.) I bet there weren't more than ten people in the audience. I remember thinking, "This is going to be the Phil Gramm, right?" So her comes Gramm, a freakin' United States Senator, walking into the room and looking around like there has to be some mistake. He speaks for maybe ten minutes. Fielded one question. And then made a beeline for the door looking at his aide like, "I came all the way out here for this?"

Random Friday Morning Thoughts

• Have we seen this girl before? I can't remember.
• It's surprising the protests are still going on in Iran. I thought they would have been squashed by now.
• Fox News is all anti-Obama all the time. And Steve Doocey on the horrible Fox and Friends this morning says, "Remember here at Fox we still do journalism - unlike the other guys."
• The pilot of a Continental flight into Newark (not ours, the one in NJ) died mid-flight yesterday but it landed safely by the co-pilots. It was the lead story on World News Tonight but hardly got mentioned in the local newscasts.
• And I saw one passenger interviewed who somehow managed to work in, "I was in first class." Thank you, sir. I wanted to know that.
• I don't think there's a single sit-com I've followed on TV since Seinfeld.
• On Sunday, I normally choose one thing to eat for dinner all week long. This week it was grilled chicken. The week before it was sandwiches. Why? 80% of my food would go to waste if I didn't continue to eat it every night.
• North Korea threatening to launch a missile towards Hawaii on the 4th of July? They couldn't launch a missile that would reach across town.
• Uh oh: Kaufman County DA gets arrested for DWI. Shocker: He was convicted of DWI in the 1990s. How'd he get elected in the first place?
• And you know it's a bad sign when the county web site misspells his name. (It's "Harrison").
• Coaches are like politicians except they have a scoreboard.
• I think we are all turning on Tony Romo. (And I was just watching an episode of last year's Hard Knocks where he said something to the effect of, "We could fast forward to the playoffs, or even further, but I want to enjoy the journey of the season." As if the playoffs were a foregone conclusion.)
• The 15 Most Disturbing Movies Ever Made. And I've got a buddy at the courthouse who will be putting every one he hasn't seen on his Netflix queue today. (Link requires some discretion.) And #9 is disturbing and great.
• I had the craziest dream that I was trying to sneak out of a developed cove on an unknown lake on my old boat. As I was packing, an acquaintance whirled me around and stuck a gun in my chest. He then told me he was just kidding. I then woke up.
• Maybe I should keep away from disturbing movies.
• I get this weird pleasure in watching traffic jams in Dallas on TV in the morning.

My Third Wife Is Not Happy

"Was it too much to ask for you to take me to Taco Bell once a month?"

(From a huge compilation of book-in photos from the City of Denton Jail from the guy who normally posts them individually but took a break for a while.)

When Did This Title Thing Become So Important?

And while we're at it, I demand to be called Comrade Green from now on. (Thanks to all those pointing this video out to me.)

Don't Call Her Liz

A Fort Worth hearing calls me away from the office. In the meantime, enjoy this.

Welcome To "Speed Trap, USA"

From the Update.

Random Thursday Morning Thoughts

• I get confused by housing news because of all the variables: New/Existing/New Construction/Local/Nationwide/Monthly/Quarterly.
• Had a couple of cavities filled yesterday but, once the novocaine (?) wore off, I was in excruciating pain for two hours. I mean, it was a I-can't-do-anything-but-try-to-stay-still-and-I-may-die kind of pain. Then it simply went away.
• I thought about Tom Hanks' character in Cast Away where he knocks a bad tooth out with an ice skate blade in order to stop the pain. I finally understood.
• Whenever I'm sick or suffer an injury, I realize it is my health that I value above everything else.
• I keep hearing the phrase "tipping point."
• Three black bear cubs are orphaned in Wyoming and end up in Boyd?
• Crazy thought: If I could suddenly be 18 years old, speak English first but be fluent in Spanish, look like Antonio Banderas, and know what I know now, I'd be President before I was 40.
• I splurged and ordered the new iPhone 3G S. It should arrive tomorrow.
• This dress is showing up on a variety of celebrity babes. I support this.
• If I could time travel, it would be simple to accumulate money by sports gambling and stock trading since I would know what was going to happen.
• Scanned the channels last night and found the NCAA National Women's Rugby Championship on EPSNU. I didn't even know the sport existed. Tough women. Crazy, tough women.
• I love maps. Especially looking at them after going somewhere I was unfamiliar with.
• I continue to shake my head about how the cartoon character that is Mark Levin has a book that remains at the top of best seller list.
• I have this weird feeling I'm going to win the lotto some day. But that's hard to do since I play it about two times a year.
• Cheaters is full of bad acting. And I went to law school with the executive producer who acted like he was starring in his own movie every time I saw him. Funny, but obnoxious.
• If it wasn't for football season, I think I'd be perfectly happy without TV as long as I had high speed Internet. I could watch whatever I wanted on Hulu.com and have my movie urge satisfied easily thought Netflix.
• Update from yesterday's Random Thoughts about how motorcycle deaths had suddenly stopped: There was a motorcycle death yesterday afternoon. (I saw the link but can't find it now.)
• Update #2 from yesterday's Random Thoughts: Now they are looking for a second body in Lake Lewisville.
• I pointed out the crazy fact that Wise County has the State's youngest mayor (Chic0) and probably the oldest council person (Newark) about two weeks ago. This week the Messenger makes it their front page story.
• Sixty year old Billy Joel and his 27 year old wife are getting divorced. That's understandable. She's just not the vibrant 22 year old she was when they married. Poor guy.

Don't Laugh At This

I'm not a big fan of the run of the mill video of a guy biting the dust, but I'm making an exception on this one. The reasons:

• The weight to bike ratio seemed out of whack from the start
• As soon as the kid hits the ramp, he knows he is in trouble because you hear this quiet, "waaaaaa."
• Then there's an award winning cry of agony once Bubba hits the ground.
• And the camera man, cool as a cucumber, caps it off with an understated, "That hurt."

A Friend . . .

. . .swears these pics were taken in Jacksboro on Friday night. Edit: After a posted that, a faithful reader sent this one in from the same night:

This Pic Is Everywhere Today. Still Funny.

"But I grew it myself and watered it with my own tears! "

Reporter Beat Down

The good stuff of the clip is only 50 seconds long. I don't know why people go crazy when they see a TV camera go on, but it sure is entertaining.

Random Wednesday Morning Thoughts

• When the lead story on most newscasts is that Dallas is the #2 city for road rage, you know it's a slow news day.
• I saw Dave Campbell's Texas Football magazine in the grocery store yesterday. That always makes me excited although I never buy a copy.
• The buzz yesterday was "Joe Buck Live" which debuted on HBO on Sunday night with one of the guests being Artie Lange (who I had never heard of but has some connection with Howard Stern.) Lange dropped such shocking stuff that I can't even come close to repeating it here. On a replay last night, even HBO bleeped him out.
• And I presume that was all planned to generate publicity -- it worked.
• My home Internet is still up. It such a miracle that I expect to see the Virgin Mary burned into my screen any second.
• Megan Fox looks like a miserable woman. But a hot miserable woman.
• Overheard two guys, who really don't even like each other, start talking about ammunition the other day. They both tried to one up each other with their knowledge (i.e. caliber, jackets, hollow point, and a bunch of crap I didn't understand) like it was some crazy Man Contest. I sat back and pretended I was watching Mutual Of Omaha's Wild Kingdom.
• Worst job in the world: Being a diver looking for the body of the baby who might be in Lake Lewisville.
• It's about time for the local newscasts to provide us with the critical warning of "Drink lots of water" if we plan to be outside for an extended period of time.
• I agree with the observation that Obama is taking on a whole lot of issues all at once, but someone observed that the best opportunity for a president to get the results he wants is in his first year in office.
• All of a sudden motorcycle deaths in DFW have stopped.
• I glanced up at the TV last night to see the Evil Empire trailing in the College World Series 6-0. I smugly went back to working on quantum physics or whatever I was doing. Checked the score this morning, UT won 10-6. Ugh.
• Hot UT fan from last night
• I've got to go to the dentist this afternoon but I've developed one of those cracks on the side of my lips which hurts when I open my mouth too wide.
• Limited interest: If you know who Todd Marinovich is and have time to read a long article about his crazy, wheels off life, check out Esquire's, Todd Marinovich: The Man Who Never Was. Great title.

Another Reason To Love The Internets

Rate a book-in photo of a girl and see a new one. (Thanks emailer.)

I Told You We Had Enough Laws

Using the name or persona of another person on a social networking site, without the person’s consent, would be a third-degree felony under a bill awaiting Gov. Rick Perry’s signature. H.B. 2003, authored by state Rep. Brian McCall, R-Plano, also would make it a Class A misdemeanor to use another person’s identifying information to send an e-mail, text message or similar communication without the person’s consent and with the intent of harming the person. (Source) Silly. Incredibly silly. Is there any wonder why the U.S. has so many people in prison or on probation or parole? And I'm really regretting sending Jarhead's wife that text that read, "I'm on a boat with the au pair and a goat, and we might not be coming back. - Love, Jarhead." And my high priced criminal defense legal advice is to just add "Double Fake" to whomever you wish to impersonate. Crisis averted. Thank you. I accept donations by Paypal.

We're All Going To Be Skinny and Rich!!!!!

Saw these ads on the Star-Telegram home page. I presume the ads work by finding your IP address and then plugging in your local town's name. But just in case I'm wrong, this is a little shout out to the $63 an hour girl. You like Frilly's?

We Need An Investigation

Let me get this straight. This lady has a hankerin' for some White Castle burgers so she loads up on her scooter and is denied? And then, uttering something to herself like, "I won't be denied" she hits the gas and burns some rubber as she heads over to McDonalds? When this lady wants a burger, she really wants a burger. Or two. Or three. The most shocking part of this clip is that White Castle offered to settle the matter with some free meals and she turned it down. She turned it down? If I had been White Castle's lawyer, I would have thought that offering her even one of those little square burgers would be enough to get her to sign anything we put in front of her. Wait. She's madder than what?

Random Tuesday Morning Thoughts

• It's Bowling Tuesday. Apparently.
• Yesterday I got an email from a guy I don't know who told me, "I read your blog every day in Iraq. It kept me entertained." That was a little humbling.
• I wonder if I should get some yellow magnetic ribbons printed up with "Liberally Lean" on them?
• I finally got my home Internet fixed after a visit from two, count 'em two, technicians yesterday. (That brings the total to seven.) And the last guy was pretty cocky about what the problem had been (a faulty copper panel in the neighborhood box). I'll take cocky if the guy can fix it. I think he has.
• The new Calvin Klein billboard in SoHo in NYC is indeed shocking. A clearer picture on Flickr is here. (Warning. It's pretty risque.)
• My random link to the Texas DA and CA message board: A trooper stops a car and finds 82 grams of cocaine. The problem: The stop was based on driving in the left hand lane of a two lane freeway while "not passing" even though no other cars are in sight. If the stop is without justification, the evidence of cocaine cannot be used against the defendant. Note to DA: Good luck with all that.
• Today's Random Thought Girl is hawt.
• The Boston Globe always has the greatest photo galleries. They've now posted one of the protests in Iraq Iran over the recent presidential elections. Good stuff.
• Craziest accident ever yesterday: A guy goes off the Berry Street overpass in Fort Worth over I-35 at 4:00 in the afternoon, lands upside down on the freeway below, doesn't get hit by another car, and survives.
• But I struggled with the words of witnesses on the news yesterday who said, "That man is blessed!" So the blessing began a second before impact? Why not before he went over the guardrail? And why does no one want to have an open, honest, and reverent discussion about such things?
• WBAP's Hal Jay this morning asked Nolan Ryan if any of today's pitchers train by running the bleachers backwards like Nolan used to do. Nolan told him he had never done that. Awkward pause.
• On my early morning jog yesterday, I came face to face (or shoe to face) with an armadillo who immediately jumped and then made a beeline for the tall grass. We were within two feet of a very uncomfortable encounter.
• Which reminds me of a mean looking dog who ran at me while jogging two weeks ago but decided just to hit my calf, hard, with his nose. That scared me. I was waiting for the feel of teeth.
• More details about the Jacksboro shooting. Sounds like a mess.
• My electricity went out this morning. Having an automatic garage door is not handy in those situations.

A Rare Baseball Post

I love stuff like this. On Friday night, the Yankees trailed the Mets by one run in the bottom of the ninth with two outs. Runners at first and second. Alex Rodriquez hits a pop up to the second baseman so game over. Right? Not so fast my friends. (The clip above is of poor video quality but contains the audio mashup of four different broadcast teams covering the game. Wait. Four?) And the winning run coming in from first base was former Ranger Mark Teixeira who makes a krillion dollars at year. But despite the risk of becoming complacent, he remembered one important baseball rule: When there are two out and you're on base, run!! Good thing. They would have crucified him if he had dogged it. ------------- On an unrelated note, I was watching the beginning tease of ESPN Sports Center yesterday morning and I saw a three second clip of a HUGE branch falling within feet of a guy sitting and watching a golf tournament. Did anybody else see that? I can't find anything about it (and I didn't get to watch the Sports Center episode.)

What Is This?

I saw it on 287 this morning. It looked like a one piece fiberglass ball with a hole in the top of it.

Random Monday Morning Thoughts

• If it's this hot now, what's July and August going to be like?
• Digging up a fence post buried two feet in the ground and encased in cement is not fun.
• I rethreaded my weedeater when I wasn't doing yard work. There's no bigger beat down than to have the line run out when you're right in the middle of whacking weeds.
• Rush Limbaugh, in response to Obama encouraging Americans to lose weight for health reasons, said that "you exercise freaks" are the ones putting pressure on the health care system because they are always getting injured. The man is losing it.
• I'm not talking about my home Internet. Five repair guys. No results. Incredible.
• Sarah Palin sure doesn't mind exploiting her daughters for political purposes. Until this recent David Letterman flap, I had forgotten she even had a 14 year old. But she sure didn't mind dropping Willow's name in her many responses.
• That lady's voice drives me insane.
• A lot of people casually email me but will start off with, "This is NOT for publication."
• After the storms the other day, I found a basketball (fully inflated) sitting in my front lawn. I left it there for a couple of days thinking the owner would see it. He didn't. I guess I can keep it -- guilt free.
• But I don't have a basketball goal so that's kind of silly.
• Lots of fuss over the re-election of the Iranian president when, in reality, he has no power. They still have that Ayatollah thing working over there.
• I finally saw what I think is the first Coen brothers movie, Blood Simple. Not bad.
• Bell Helicopter workers voted to go on strike last night. With everyone else losing their job, they might want to tap the brakes on that.
• If you know you're going to the beach for a vacation and you know you're as white as a sheet, is it OK for a guy to go to a tanning bed?

Jacksboro Killing Update

Although the report says the victim died at "Parkland" when the autopsy said John Peter Smith. And the charge was "manslaughter" which would mean a reckless, but not intentional, killing. But I've never heard of anybody being the "XI". I suspect Daniel Nelson I through X are no too pleased.