Fox 4 (or something like that) in Los Angeles

I think this is where Megan Henderson went although she doesn't appear in the video. Instead it features a sassy little reporter in a bikini who should immediately be given a contract to come to Dallas. (Plus I had to do something to get those skinny girls off the top of the page.) Edit: Oops, forgot to credit Alice for sending this to me

Friday Afternoon Pick Me Up

I know, I know. These gals are a little heavy, but I couldn't find anything else.

Political Talk

I think this is surprising. There is a 100% chance she will be confirmed so Cornyn's vote means nothing. Since that is the case, guys like him normally will take a position that will help them politically in the future. That being said, there's no question that the Republicans need to recruit the Hispanic vote. If they don't they'll slowly (or quickly) lose every office in the State. Cornyn is well aware of this. So what does he do? Vote against the first Hispanic nominee to the court.

Random Friday Morning Thoughts

• Minimum wage goes to $7.25 today. This "redistribution of wealth" thing is getting out of hand!
• I wouldn't mind being Gerard Butler.
• Or Clive Owen.
• The story of the Mansfield ISD retired superintendent is incredibly sad. He retires, goes on a six week motorcycle cruise across the country with his wife (actually a three wheeled motorcycle) and ends up dead in a crash in South Dakota. And the renaming of the football stadium in his honor had already been scheduled for this Fall. Think that will be an emotional night?
• The President gives a press conference on health care reform and all we can talk about is his uttering of the word "stupidly" in connection with the arrest of the Harvard professor?
• And it was stupid to arrest the guy regardless of how "belligerent" he was.
• I learned yesterday that there is a spider monkey at the Gaylord Texan that you can get you picture taken with. I'm in.
• I never go to JP court but ended up there yesterday when a client had an issue with conditions of her bond (she didn't do something she was supposed to do.) Judge Mark Autry out of Boyd runs a professional place --- And I'm not sucking up since it will probably be another 10 years before I'm in that court again.
• You guys never said a word about the week long "best of" posts. I hate you.
• The Dallas city council corruption trial gives me Tired Head.
• Someone told me that an (alleged) drunk driver smashed into the McDonald's in Bridgeport this week.
• Crazy animated GIF.
• I still don't know where talk show host Wendy Williams came from.
• News that should be huge news: Guaranty Bank (formerly Federal Guaranty) is dead in the water. It will be the largest bank failure this year. (My flimsy connection: The first fantasy football league I ever participated in was with a group of guys from that bank. I'm guessing 1996.)

Zombie Kid Likes Turtles

It's stuff like this that keeps you coming back.

I've Found The Template For My Ninth Wedding

I'm not sure I've ever done a 180 on a video like this in my life. I went from arms-crossed-this-is-stupid mode to smiling-not-too-bad mode. As someone always told me, "Live a little, boy." (Thanks, emailer)

Limited Interest

Boyd's own Greg Williams, who has lost jobs at The Ticket and ESPN Radio due to alleged drug use over the last couple of years, appeared last night on Big "Richard" Hunter's show. It was recorded and I've been alerted that I needed to check out the tape at the 1:06 mark. You can, too. That boy ain't right.

Gospel Night At Reunion

A faithful reader sends in these cell phone pics of "Gospel Music Night" at the Reunion from yesterday.

Random Thursday Morning Thoughts

• The Star-Telegram has an article today on Machine Gun Kelly and how he held a kidnap victim on a ranch near Paradise. Anyone know where that ranch is?
• I want a nickname like "Machine Gun."
• If Erin Andrews and ESPN had never acknowledged the nude video of her on the Internet, 99% of us would never have heard about it. Now I'm not sure there heavy handed approach isn't a publicity mechanism.
• But, man, she's hot.
• I saw a new Camaro at a gas station in Decatur yesterday. Pretty good looking.
• And the Update says a Camaro was involved in a fatal accident last night.
• Conan O'Brien made a joke last night with the punch line being about Spencer Pratt. How many people got that? I didn't.
• Lee Greenwood's ballad about America includes the line, "I'm proud to be an American, where at least I know I'm free." What's up with the words "at least"?
• Jon & Kate Break-up News = Now Officially Tiresome
• The white crowd starting up the Rhythm Clap while someone tries to sing on stage powers me down.
• I saw an "I Love My Wife" bumper sticker this morning. Do you really?
• The Rangers sweep of Boston almost makes you want to believe.
• The "o" on my keyboard doesn't work half the time this morning. Drives me nuts.
• "A newly-opened [Cleburne] store selling beer-and-wine has hired 20 young women who wear bikini tops and Daisy Duke shorts while standing on the street to wave at potential customers."
• Our local beer barn used to have bikini car washes on some Saturdays. I don't know if they still do that.
• Discussion this morning on the Ticket: Who is the Most Trusted Person in America now that Walter Cronkite is dead? Solid nominee: Tom Hanks.

"Birthers"

It's a little long, but the New York Times has an opinion piece on "birthers" - those who refuse to believe that Obama was born in the U.S. That's where I found this video which has been making the rounds over the last couple of days. I call it "Angry Crowd That Could Be In Wise County." (And I learned in the comments to the NYT's piece something that I should have known. Even if the crazies are right and he wasn't born in the U.S., being born to a an American Baby Mama makes him a U.S. citizen any way.)

Decatur Tech News

I don't know how many of you have 3G cell phones but if you do, take a look at them. For the first time ever today, Decatur is covered in 3G waves of magic.

Question Mark Time

I've seen portions of this video all over the news but never this entire clip. Holy cow. That's intense. But here's a question someone else posed: Is ol' Jerry Lepkowski, who had a video camera or phone and kept filming while a family dang near burned to death, a jerk?

Random Newark Wreck This Morning

I'm no mechanic, but I'm pretty sure that wheel isn't supposed to do that. (Stolen from Facebook.)

Reality TV Star In Ocean

Just when I thought it was going to be a slow news day, this little gem floats across my screen. Yep, it's the American Idol Bikini Girl. The greatest reality star ever. Darlin', marry me and I can get you back on TV on a little project I've got brewing called The Real Housewives of Wise County. You'll kill as they film you getting into the family truckster to get a bite to eat at CiCi's and then on to drop your week's allowance of $50 at Walmart.

I'm Insane Now

It's America's Funniest Home Videos Of Crazy People. But there's a little comedy at 22 seconds in. Wait for it. (Thanks, Jarhead.)

Random Wednesday Morning Thoughts

• The F-22 program was cancelled yesterday with one of the reasons being that fighter was made primarily for mid-air combat ---- and that really doesn't occur any more. Hadn't really thought about that.
• If you heard about the civil suit alleging sexual abuse against Pittsburgh QB Ben Rothlisberger and you want to see what the accuser looks like, here ya go.
• My Radar Goes Off When: Any girl claims sexual abuse but doesn't contact the police and instead files a lawsuit wanting money.
• I'll be anybody's friend on Facebook. Then I feel kind of creepy looking through their photo albums to find out what their life is like.
• Is "Gospel Singing Night" at the Wise County Reunion really a big crowd pleaser?
• A guy named Kelly Hildebrandt gets on Facebook and finds a girl named Kelly Hildebrandt. So what do they do? They get married. Odd trivia: The guy caught one pass in his career as a receiver for Texas Tech.
• I once dated a girl for six months that I met on the Internet.
• In today's Messenger, there is a large photo showing 10 or so beds lined up on a the porch of a cabin at the Reunion grounds. No way I'm doing that.
• Somebody use The Google for me: When is the next time we'll see a full solar eclipse here in Texas?
• I ran into a lot of people in bad moods yesterday.
• Still haven't seen The Hangover although lots of people tell me I should.
• Probable Texas ponzi schemer R. Allen Stanford did a publicity stunt in Houston last May when he and his lawyer walked down to the Federal Marshal's office in Houston to "turn himself in" when they knew there wasn't a warrant. Seemed stupid to me at the time since you really don't want to taunt the feds. (They have since got a warrant and Stanford sits in jail being denied bond.)
• There actually was a guy named "Ponzi" for whom "Ponzi Scheme" was named.
• It was almost impossible to find salsa in Mexico.

Secret Video Of Me and A Girl While On Vacation

(Thanks Keith.)

They Mystery That Is The Wise County Reunion . . .

. . . is being documented this week by Joe Duty here on Flickr.

Glenn Beck Meltdown

Heard this on The Ticket. Trust me, it starts a little slow but then Beck works himself up into such a frenzy that he ends up screaming like a girl. It peaks at 3:30 (when it is essentially over.) But it's gold.

Reader Submitted

It's so insane, that I had to post it.

Random Tuesday Morning Thoughts

• Slowest news day ever yesterday? Fox 4 told me "The Red Cross needs donations" about 10,000 times.
• Not sure what happened to the truck that I thought was jack-knifed onto a train track off of 287 yesterday. Maybe it was just "close" to the track.
• The Wise County Reunion has never appealed to me like it does a lot of people. I've just never been a "sit around and hang out" kind of guy.
• My crazy dreams are back. Last night I had two separate ones where old acquaintances. were out to get me -- violently.
• On my first night of vacation, I spent 30 minutes dreaming I was in my office looking for a file. It was very vivid.
• Fort Worth motorcycle death.
• The "text us what you think" cell phone polls on local TV news drive me nuts. (i.e. Do you think Michael Vick should be reinstated to the NFL? Text "yes" to ....)
• I've about decided that HBO's Entourage isn't that good.
• Worth watching today: Competing demonstrations by the Black Panthers and Ku Klux Klan in Paris, Texas.
• There would be few things more terrifying than to be Bowe Bergdahl, the soldier being held by the Taliban. And I have no idea how this is going to end.
• TABC, Game Wardens, and Task Forces (when they used to exist) always seemed to be too aggressive.
• This was in Fort Worth?
• Fancy coffee drinks illustrated.
• Channel 5's "Stormtracker H3", which is nothing more than a bad camera mounted on the dash of a vehicle driving around the metroplex, is a silly idea.
• Saw where Northwest's new Byron Nelson High School has an indoor football practice facility with artificial turf. Decatur? Bridgeport? You gonna put up with that?

How In The World Did I Miss This?

Now I just have to figure out what channel "The 33" newscast is on since I've never watched it. (Credit Uncle Barky via email from Alice)

Talking Health Care

Since I'm still not back to my Award Winning Blogging self (since I haven't posted an afternoon pick me up), I thought I'd bring this up. The other day, I was talking to a couple of conservative ladies in Decatur who were in favor of some type of nationalized health care. It wasn't about politics to them, they just wanted to be able to afford medical care when they or their family members get sick. If it requires something new and different, then so be it. They had had enough. And Obama might be able to pull this off because he understands this better than those that scream "socialism!!" until they are blue in the face. Case in point, today he said:

"Just the other day, one Republican senator [Sen Jim DeMint] said -- and I'm quoting him -- 'If you're able to stop Obama on this, it will be his Waterloo. It will break him,'" the president recounted at an event at the Children's National Medical Center in Washington. "Think about that. This isn't about me. This isn't about politics. This is about a health care system that is breaking up American families, breaking America's businesses and breaking America's economy."

Ouch. I've said it before, we "socialize" (in one way or another) schools, police and fire protection, highways, parks, the military, social security, and some utilities (water and sewer). I don't know why so many freak out when we think about adding health care to that list.

More Diving Talk

Edit: A faithful reader photoshopped me! The package was a 30 minute instruction period followed by a quick boat ride to a reef and a 45 minute dive. When I first heard it was a 50 foot dive, one guy I met at the resort looked at me like I was nuts and went into a rant that included the words "decompression", "cramps", "capillaries bursting", and "hyperbolic chamber for two days." Well, that didn't sound fun at all. But once we got it clarified that it was a 15 to 25 foot dive, he backed off a bit but still thought it was a little nuts. There were four of us in the group to go out. Oddly, they first transported us to a different resort for the instruction. There we met our female instructor, with a pretty good accent, who told us the first thing we needed to do was to sign waiver forms because, and I'm not making this up, "We don't want any responsibility in case something goes wrong." That's technically correct, but you never hear anyone in the States say it that way. From there, we received our crash course on diving. Afterwards, she put us in the pool for our practice session in what we had hopefully learned (how to clear our masks if need be, how to clear the regulator, how to go up, how to go down, how to avoid death, etc.) So with full gear on, we all sat on our collective arses in the five foot end of the pool. I hope I didn't show it, but that experience kind of freaked me out. Scuba diving looks easy. Heck, I had even watched all the Sea Hunt episodes as a kid. Yeah, I could breath through the regulator, but it was labored breathing for me. It was just so . . . . unenjoyable. After about 10 seconds of experiencing a little feeling of panic, I overcame the desire to jump up into the air and scream, "I can't take it!!" The instructor, no doubt seeing more air bubbles coming from my mouth than everyone else combined, swam over in front of me and made hand gestures which meant, "Hey, idiot, I told you to breath slowly and deeply. Do it!" And I did. After going through the drills, we then did the most awkward thing: We followed the instructor as we swam around the pool. Now understand, this is a nice resort with a huge pool full of guests and we are the only ones in scuba gear. So we're swimming around and people are scrambling to get away from us like nobody's business. (Afterwards, all four of us laughed about how we probably looked like the creepy guy from the pool scene in Little Children.) The dive itself was fairly uneventful. (With the exception of a beeping sound I heard every five minutes that made me think my equipment was malfunctioning -- but which was actually only a five minute interval timer the instructor was wearing. Hey, tell me about that next time.) Lots of cool fish. Lots of cool coral. Lots of cool plants. But no sharks or killer sting rays. And you can't believe how much the current moves you around against your will. Once we were through, I was exhausted. Completely. The instructor even gave me a concerned, "Are you OK?" once I got to the boat's ladder and successfully negotiated it despite having a severe case of the Shake Legs. So scratch another item off my Bucket List. Running With The Bulls, here I come.

The Morality Police Have Been Unleashed

From the Update. Logistically, I don't know how this works. Who answers the 1-800 number? Is it the Sheriff's Office? If the "offense" is in Bridgeport, do they then relay the call to Bridgeport PD? Does anyone in authority over in Bridgeport PD decide if an officer will actually be dispatched? Is every cop in the county now looking for every can of Keystone light in the hands of a 20 year old? And I've asked this question before: How much money is currently in the Wise County Crimestoppers account? Every person placed on probation in the county pays a $50 "fee" to go in that fund. Over the years, that has to be a chunk of change.

Crowd Pleasing T-Shirt From Last Week

Can't tell ya the number of times this girl was stopped so that someone could say, "I love that shirt!"

Random Monday Morning Thoughts

• There was a truck that had jack-knifed onto a train track about five miles north of Decatur on 287. Every rescue vehicle in the Southwest proper was headed that way, but it looks like all trains had been stopped.
• I'm no so sure about that "feeling refreshed" after a vacation. "Feeling like I want to do it again" is more like it.
• I think I experienced "vacation guilt" as I looked around at the poverty in Mexico as I traveled to my resort from the airport.
• The Cancun airport is really nice.
• Turning off the cell phone for a week is weird.
• I visited the Xcaret Eco Park. Probably overrated based upon it's price -- with the exception of "Spider Monkey Island".
• I woke up one day a little after 6:00, stumbled to the beach, and saw the sun rise over the horizon.
• I'm now in my office wearing a suit.
• I always want to eat at some off the beaten path authentic Mexican restaurant not visited by tourists but I never do.
• OK, yell at me for this: I took a quick diving course and then scuba dove for about 45 minutes in 20 to 25 feet of water. I figured it was shallow enough to be safe. It's not as easy as it looks.
• I kept thinking about "Open Water."
• I watched very little TV over the week, but did manage to catch the release of the video of Michael Jackson's hair catching fire during the filming of the Pepsi commercial. That was crazy.
• And a quick Internet check in showed me it was crazy hot back in Texas last week.
• I'm still trying to get my Random Thought groove back.

I'm Back

But why do I feel like I need a vacation after my vacation? Note to self: Never, ever schedule a return flight for 7:30 a.m. And part of my entourage got sick which required a visit to the doctor as soon as we hit DFW. Anyway, here's exclusive video of me at my hotel's health spa/computer room. I hit my stride at about the 35 second mark.