Was The Social Secretary On The Guest List?

Tense. But he never answers the question.

Fox 4 Sports Spelling Fail

From tonight's newscast.

Wishing Failure On The Evil Empire

Texas is a krillion point favorite to win the Big 12 Championship tomorrow over Nebraska and they probably will. But I'll never forget the first Championship game in 1996 which pitted those two teams against each other, but that time it was Nebraska that was the huge favorite. But with 2:30 left, Texas had a 3 point lead but was facing a 4th and 1 deep inside their own territory. You punt, right? When they broke the huddle to run a play, I remember jumping out of my seat and standing in front of the TV screaming, "You've got to be kidding me!" And then what would eventually become a youtube moment happened. Incredible. It's hard to tell, but the receiver looks up near the ceiling at the end of the run and then wraps both arms around the ball. It was the first time I had ever seen a player look at one of the big screen TV boards in the middle of a play to determine if he was going to be caught from behind. Anyway, I'm casting one of my spells on the Longhorns tonight. (Although I doubt if even that's enough to allow the Children of the Corn to score a single point.) Post Game Edit: Oh, my!!!!!! So close. So very close.

Friday Afternoon Pick Me Up

Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. That's who? "Pick Me Up" retracted!!! "Pick Me Up" retracted!!!!

We're Not Mature Enough To Handle The News

But the creativity of wise guys restores my soul.

Time To Resort To Moonshine

Link.

Random Friday Morning Thoughts

• Devon shut down its Decatur Land Office yesterday. I've heard that puts about 20 employees out of work with many other contractors being hit hard as well.
• Saw a woman bring a self checkout line to a standstill yesterday as she scanned an item "just to see how much it was but I don't want it. Now I don't know how to get it off."
• Sarah Palin is in Plano for a book signing. People are in line at 5:00 a.m. I'm not saying a thing.
• Unemployment figures just announced show the rate has dropped from 10.5% to 10%. I told you boys to trust in Obama. The turnaround has begun.
• I've got a half marathon in a week and I actually ran 9 miles in preparation for it yesterday. It was cold. Very cold. And my leg parts hurt today.
• Jarhead posted a clip yesterday of maybe the strangest football play I've ever seen. And I've not heard an explanation as to what the heck happened.
• I wouldn't mind being under house arrest.
• I wouldn't mind being placed "on paid administrative leave."
• I point this out from time to time: The Morning News and the Star-Telegram have an agreement to share sports stories. But today I noticed that the Star-Telegram had breaking news that Nolan Ryan may still be in the mix to buy the Rangers. Is the same story in the Morning News? Nope, the ST put the story in Randy Galloway's opinion piece which is not subject to the sharing agreement.
• The Tiger Woods story is more proof that the privates are going to be the downfall of society.
• I knew two workers were hurt at Cowboys Stadium yesterday but I had no idea they slid 250 feet on the roof before being caught on a gutter. Oh, my.
• The plea offer in the drug case I wrote about below was 15 years.

35 Years

That's the sentence handed down moments ago by a jury for this woman who had been found guilty of possessing a little over 4 grams of methamphetamine in Wise County. Well, we know it was 4 grams of something that had a least some methamphetamine in it, but that really doesn't matter. The range was 25 years to Life because she had been sent to prison twice for drugs in the 1990s. There were no property or violent crimes in her past. Just dope. And probably the saddest thing was that she had no one come to court on her behalf. Not even a friend or family member to sit in the gallery as support. As her defense lawyer said, "No one cares about her at all." Edit: A faithful (and hawt) reader sends me this ironic headline from yesterday: "A U.S. federal judge sentenced a kingpin of Mexico's powerful Juarez drug cartel to 27 years in prison for smuggling at least 200 tons of cocaine into the United States, authorities said on Wednesday."

Ok, OK, I'll Post It

I can't count the number of people that have sent me this.

Random Thursday Morning Thoughts

• The Swine Flu shot is now widely available to anyone in Tarrant County but that's not the case in Wise County. What gives?
• Dallas DA Craig Watkins was on the Colbert Show last night and actually said, "Being tough on crime does not work."
• Google has now improved its "music search."
• TCU's Gary Patterson signs a long term extension which is really pretty weird in this day and time. But after seeing what happened to his predecessor, it might be a smart move. (Dennis Franchione went from Alabama to A&M to Oblivion.)
• Some X tablets were seized in Sourth Texas made into the shapes of Homer Simpson and President Obama. The press and police are using the angle that they "were marketed towards kids." Puhleeze.
• Some lady gets sexually assaulted after midnight at one of those big public rest areas south of Fort Worth along I-35? I wouldn't go in those bathrooms in the middle of the day.
• And isn't there an old story of a former Wise County deputy being convicted of capital murder for a crime at the same place in the early 1990s? I think the conviction got reversed on appeal, but I don't know what happened after that.
• All women should be able to take this good of a book-in photo.
• The story of the genius kid going door to door offering free massages in Denton was everywhere yesterday. But everyone is more fascinated by the naive "victim".
• Speaking of dope, a Wise County jury will be forced to pick between 25 years in prison and life today for a lady convicted yesterday of methamphetamine possession. Incredible. I'll probably do a full post later.
• There was an all day hearing in a divorce case in the County Court at Law yesterday. That would be a beating.
• Anybody else Tiger-Wooded-Out? And, as predicted, the media ho lawyer for the first alleged affair gal is having a press conference today. Edit: OK, I'm at least interested in a bikini clad girl near his home being photo'd by cops.
• It's weird that it is going to snow south of us, but not on us, on Friday morning.

The Sonic In Jacksboro

Credit.

News On News

Let the word go forth, tomorrow (or sooner) the Messenger will report that this story was fabricated by the (at one time) alleged victim. Edit: Watch Channel 8 news tonight at 10:00 Edit: The video.

Food Stamps

New York Times interactive map here. 18% of all Wise County children use food stamps? And Jack County's use of food stamps has increased 162% in two years putting it 12th in the nation in increase usage? (Credit: Bud Kennedy)

And To Think All You Guys Were Hatin' On Same Sex Marriage

Hey, now. Edit: Photoshopped? It appeared on the Boston Globe web site. Still possible, but highly unlikely.

And We Call Ourselves A Super Power

Check out this Chinese news clip regarding The Tiger Woods Story complete with CG re-enactment. Now that, my friends, is the way news should be.

Random Wednesday Morning Thoughts

• Snow? Incredible.
• Slidell ISD shut down (per Channel 11)? Double incredible. Edit: Until I drove in that stuff. Several cars in the ditches along 287.
• I'm hearing word that the Bridgeport robbery yesterday was a complete hoax. Developing.
• Ugh. 30,000 more troops to Afghanistan? Bad. But getting the heck out of there in a year and a half or so? Good.
• If you were foolish enough to send in money for Texas Rangers playoff tickets, chances are that you are finally getting a refund this week. And how do the Rangers make it up to you? By giving you for tickets to an exhibition game. That's a joke, right?
• My first week in January trip to Costa Rica is still a go.
• The dog pile of Tiger Woods begins (with yet another girl claiming an affair.) Why is it that the public just loves to run anyone out of town on a rail if given the chance?
• But the taped message of Tiger released this morning is not-a-good.
• Got word yesterday that a Bridgeport woman died in a crash in Granbury.
• Doesn't Kay Bailey Hutchison come across and weak and timid these days?
• They had Christmas Tree Talk on the Ticket yesterday. Things discussed: (1) good real trees cost over $100 (really?), (2) do you remember "flocked" trees, and (3) do you remember the cheap three color rotating floor light that would project green, blue and red onto the tree?
• I kept hearing "Sweep the knee!" in my head this morning.
• All of a sudden I'm recording most episodes of The Office that are in syndication. I've never seen 80% of them so it's like, uh, Christmas to me. Pretty funny stuff (and I really like the Indian lady.)

Is This Decatur This Morning? Why, Yes. Yes, It Is

Runaway Bay pic by MzChief.

Kardashian Pick Me Up

Drug War Part XXXXXXXXXXV

Looks like we've got a Possession case going on in the district courtroom in Decatur (with our new fancy monitors being used.) And the defense lawyer proclaims to be the "tallest lawyer in Texas" and he may be: 7'0" tall. The best I can tell the lady is being charged with possessing just over 4 grams of dope. That's a bad cut off point for her because: Edit: The following keeps getting screwed up due to formatting: Less than 1 gram = 180 days to 2 years 1 to 4 grams = 2 to 10 years 4 to 200 grams = 2 to 20 years (More later.)

Breaking . . . .

From email:

"Armed robbery, Bridgeport. May have forced car over to side and took woman's purse."

Developing . . .

Edit: Confirmed. We've got a regular crime spree across the Southwest Proper going on.

I Guess I'll Rethink Getting That Surgery

Link.

Rhome Subway Robber Not Satisfied With $5 Foot Long

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Random Tuesday Morning Thoughts

• Still like that Fox 4 Fiona gal. A lot.
• Congressional hearings are pointless and created for sound bites. Case In Point: The couple that snuck into the State Dinner will be appearing before a panel in the next few days.
• (If you get a chance to see that couple on The Today Show, do it. Weird and odd.)
• I learned over the holidays that a man from Paradise, completely healthy, almost died from the Swine Flu. I had no idea.
• Tony Romo cannot give an interview without saying "we'll work on our mistakes and get better."
• Uh, oh. Tony was to Las Vegas over the weekend.
• I'm all for Tiger Woods refusing to talk to the police. He doesn't have to. They are not there to help him. And, when all else fails, they'll charge you with making a false statement.
• Obama certainly avoids Fear Mongering. You'll never him utter phrases like, "They'll follow us home" or "They hate our freedom."
• My Cowboys prediction for their last five games: 1-4.
• Some pro baseball player named Grady Sizemore is all bent out of shape because of self taken neekid pics of him posing with a bathroom mirror have made their way to the Inkernet. Note to Grady: You're a guy.
• I can't believe the alleged shooter in the Seattle police officer killings got away. Edit: The second after I typed that the news broke that the police shot and killed him (And I'm pretty sure without a trial.)
• On the label of my hair gook are the words "Mega Mega Hold" and "X-Treme Savings." Made me laugh.
• It's World AIDS Day today so you kids avoid The AID today.
• Watched a bit of Into The Wild the other night (again) and it always makes me want to walk away from it all. Of course, the movie would be a bit more motivational if the kid didn't die.
• I can't imagine anyone getting excited about the Mavericks. In April or May they'll be bounced in the first or second round of the playoffs. I know it. You know it. What's the point?
• College football is more fun when A&M is good.
• Fox and Friends, I'm told, had Victoria Secret Supermodels on this morning. I'm sure it had something to do with family values.

Google Can Do Anything!

In searching the breaking news story of an escaped Texas inmate, I came across the "sponsored link" on the right.

Funny.

World's Tallest Bikini Model In History Of Ever

This gal's pic has been all over the Internets for two weeks, but I refused to post it because I smelled photoshopped. And, if anything, I have a pretty good team of lawyers in my Quality Control Division to screen out that sort of thing. Until a youtube video came along to back it up.

Monday Afternoon Pick Me Up

This is Nicole Bahls. And that didn't help me identify who she is at all.

Random Messenger Update Observation

Are there that many impacted by polio?

Random Monday Morning Thoughts

• Did you see pictures of I-30 on fire this morning in Mesquite? Yep, a tanker truck had a wreck causing the fuel on the highway to catch fire. I-30 was shut down both ways which we make me want to off myself on a Monday morning commute.
• I don't think anyone needed to get reprimanded over this billboard.
• I looked at the movies this weekend and there was nothing worth seeing. Is it just me, or are they just bad this holiday season?
• Baylor almost beat Tech on Saturday and Tech only has there self to blame.
• TCU is predicted to play two-loss Georgia Tech in the Orange Bowl. That's a lose-lose proposition for the Frogs. Win it and you're supposed to win it. Lose it, and a tremendous season comes crashing down.
• It's Christmas time again which means we should all buy our spouses a Lexus -- complete with a bow on top of it in the driveway.
• Tiger Woods has been a media genius. Up until now.
• And the girl he is allegedly having an affair with (hawt) has hired celebrity lawyer Gloria Allred. Allred only knows about getting in front of the camera, and nothing more.
• Great panaramoic view at Kyle Field from the Texas game on Thanksgiving night. (Credit: TV Tan Line.)
• New Moon won the box office again this weekend. I don't know what they paid those kids, but whatever it is they might have been ripped off.
• Funny New Moon related poster with some truth to it.
• Angels & Demons kind of petered out, didn't it? As did the Michael Jackson movie.
• I've gotten into the habit of going to be early and waking up early --- even on weekends. Old Man Syndrome?
• I jogged with a big dog on a leash for the first time this weekend. Sheesh. The thing was dragging me down the street.
• I bet "Cyber Monday" is no different than any other online shopping day this time of year.
• And someone on the Ticket this morning asked if "Cyber Monday" is the day that we all stalk our exes online. Not a bad idea.
• The Dallas Morning News had an article yesterday naming the 50 Greatest Dallas Cowboys in honor of the team's 50th anniversary. That seemed weird since I've heard no hoopla over a 50th season. Even though formed in 1959, isn't 1960 the team's first official year since that was when they played their first game?
• Uh, oh. The Washington State cop killer was granted clemency by ultra-conservative Gov. Mike Huckabee years ago?

Wise County Crime Reports

. . . has a Big Brother feel to it this week. (But there are some good ones in there.)

High School Football, Please Forgive Me

Since I was in the area without a whole lot to do, I stopped by to see unbeaten Pilot Point and unbeaten Godley in a 2A playoff game in Saginaw yesterday. Observations:

• $5 admission and free parking? I had forgotten what a deal it is.
• And can I dare say I was a thousand times more entertained than going to the Cowboy game last weekend? It ended with Pilot Point winning on a last second field goal as time expired.
• Pilot Point has no band but 22 cheerleaders.
• At halftime, they go out and do some gyrations to a rap tape mix.
• They sell $1 hot dogs?
• I had forgotten how fast the game goes. But without commercial breaks, things move along in a hurry.
• When did this Read Option become so vogue? (You know, snap the ball to the quarterback in the shotgun who stands there and either hands it to a running back that crosses in front of him or takes off running?) Both teams ran it a million times.
• I was under the impression every team ran the spread these days.
• Case in point: The Godley quarterback ran it 31 times. That's a whole lot of snapping it back to the QB who then just takes off running. Looked very back yardish -- effective, but back yardish.
• After hearing a cowbell I had an urge to yell, "More cowbell!" And then I just sat there smiling way too big.
• The artificial field turf made me think of you guys.
• During the game it dawned on me that I had no idea where Godley was. But their uniforms were cool: They had LSU colors.
• The last non-Texas Stadium high school game that I had been to was a Bridgeport playoff game in Graham in 1996. That's almost pathetic.
• The Pilot Point fans weren't very passionate. Very surprising.

Cold Front Any One?

Link.

Robbery At Rhome Subway Sandwich Shop This Morning

Developing. Edit: Totally unrelated, but did you see that four officers were shot dead in an ambush in a coffee shop in Washington State?