Saw This Yesterday. Funny.

Anyone?

Joe Duty's Snow Photos

More.

Well I Certainly Have To Do This Next

But check out the big girl at :39

Random Friday Morning Thoughts: Injury Edition

• You see that? That's me one second after catching air on a makeshift sled, hitting my right shoulder hard, and having it come out of its socket. So how did I get there? Let me wordily explain.
• We shut the office down early, and I dutifully headed home.
• I couldn't help it: I'm bundling up and take off walking my normal jogging course. No way I was going to miss that beauty.
• I find a field I normally jog around and am darn near awestruck by the beauty. It's peaceful, it's snowing hard, I've got some great music on the iPhone, and I just stand there truly greatful to be alive.
• But then I look about a half mile away and see a ton of folks in a big geographic "bowl" mostly sliding down a hill.
• I called KD who was headed my way and tell her to stop at this park because this looks like fun. Big fun.
• And it was. Watching people building giant snowmen, running with a Siberian husky mutt she had brought with her, and having a tremendous time.
• Then a fateful event occurs: I stumble across a flat metal sign (I don't know how) which is different than the other contraptions that people were using as sleds (i.e. plastic signs, laundry baskets, trash can tops --- hey, it is Texas.)
• We find a place perfect for sledding and slide down the hill a couple of times. Good times.
• Then I noticed someone had created a ramp about a foot and half foot snow. I'm excited. It's a Sled Jump. Hey, the Olympics is coming up - I can do this.
• KD goes first and it's hilarious. She ends up in a mass of tangled limbs on the ground as the dog jumps on her in excitement.
• My turn. I line the jump up. Take a quick running start. Perfect take-off. Hit the ramp at a pretty good clip. Feel like I'm at least going to fly two or three feet before landing (probably overestimating). And then I land. And I feel pain. Big pain. It's on my right shoulder and, although I keep waiting for the shooting sensation to go away as I lay/lie on the ground, it ain't.
• My ego and shoulder feel the pain of explaining, "This might not be good."
• I make it to KD's car and stick my hand up under my shirt in order to feel my shoulder. Uh. Oh. It's not supposed to be like that at all. Definitely separated.
• But I've got a great idea: This happens all the time in football games -- I've seen it! And the trainer always runs onto the field, sticks his hands under the shoulder pad, and pops it back it. And KD used to be an EMT! Problem solved.
• So we go back to my house, I lay on the couch, and tell her to Google "separated shoulder popping back in." She is very uneasy. "Did you find anything?" I ask. "Yep, something about long term nerve damage. You're crazy. I'm not doing it."
• From there, we go to a small "emergency clinic". I stay in the back of the car on my back and she runs in to make sure they can fix me up. She comes back and says, "Nope. They aren't going to touch you. Told us to go to the emergency room."
• So now we're off on a 10 mile ride in slushy/icy conditions as I remember a kid at Bridgeport High School who was always having this shoulder separated. I make a joke about a guy I haven't seen in a krillion years, but it doesn't help the increasing pain.
• We pull into the ER parking lot and see a sign ("Free Valet Parking"). Well, heck, that certainly seals the deal! What?
• Fortunately, the ER had no one in it, and I stumble in holding my arm like it's been ripped off by a huge piece of machinery. I'm given immediate attention and within 10 minutes I'm in a hospital bed (Yep, I know the Obamacare comments will ruin this.)
• Some guy comes in and puts an IV in me. IV? What the what?
• A very funny nurse then comes in, rolls her eyes at me in mock disgust when I tell her what happened, and shoots me full of morphine. Did I mention I'm in excruciating pain at this point. It hurt, but not too bad, right after the accident but the pain is now ratcheting up.
• They then tell me they'll have to x-ray me. Sheesh!!! Will somebody grab my arm and pop it into its socket so I can get the heck out of here?
• The doctor comes in. Sees my pain. And decides it would be wise to pop it in. Now we're cooking.
• Now comes the craziest part of the night. They have me sit up on the side of the bed and the doctor asks the nurse, "Have you ever seen this done before?" She hasn't. Uh. Oh. He has her take my arm and extend it straight out to the side. Ouch. Triple ouch! He then gets behind me and begins to push on my shoulder joint as the nurse pulls outwards. Can I make an admission: This lasted about 10 seconds and I'm groaning and moaning loudly. Very loudly. I can certainly be heard down the hallway and it was so bad I grabbed some piece of cloth (I hope it was sanitary), and shoved it into my mouth so I could clinch down it. It was just like a western movie when they pull the bullet out of some poor sap.
• But it didn't work! I then hear the doctor say, "We'll have to do it the old fashioned way" which made me fear for my life because if that 10 second procedure of pain was "new school", I didn't want to see "old school."
• I crumple back in the bed, and I hurt. I'm normally a wise guy and a jokester, but I'm nothing other than a heap of mush at this point.
• Now the confusing part. The last thing I remember is them talking about more pain killers and then, as best I can recall, I "wake up" an hour later with my shoulder back in its socket with some contraption strapping it to my chest. I feel pretty good. And I'm getting out of there.
• I asked KD something about "I thought they bring in an anesthesiologist if they are going to put you under?" and she explains I was never "under" -- that I was conscious the whole time. She said I was talking crazy, they had x-rayed me, and kicked her out. I have no memory of anything.
• And that's how I spent my snow day.

Edit: We now have video of this blessed event:

One Hill. One Sled. On Jump. And . . .

One separated shoulder. And an ER visit. Ouch. Developing . . . And there might be a video of this blessed event. But I'm to doped up to track it down.

We Put Snow In A Dump Trunk?

Thanks emailer!!!!!

Political News Of The Day

Debra Medina goes on nutcase Glenn Beck's radio show and leaves open the possibility that the government was behind 9/11. Wait. What? She, upon realizing she just committed political suicide, immediately issues a statement to try and convince us she's not a nutcase. (The "we should always question the government" angle was a nice touch though.) I don't know if the Tea Party folks support the statement on Glenn Beck or her retraction. But this is not a good day for the Medina Campaign. The story.

Snow!

Like you don't know this already: It's snowing big time! I don't ever remember walking to the courthouse through three inches of snow only to have those footprints covered when I walk back one hour later. And, amazingly, the courthouse has a docket, a trial, and a grand jury actually going on this morning. That's crazy. I'm guessing 6 inches before noon. Edit: Most snow in one day in the history of ever? Pete Delkus says that the record snowfall for any 24 hour period in DFW is 7 1/2 inches.

Random Thursday Morning Thoughts

• Well, my Blizzard prediction is coming true. Welcome to Awesome Town. Population: Me.
• But I'm at my desk all suited up.
• It is absolutely beautiful outside. And it's going to get beautifulerererer all day long.
• Hwy 287 report: From Decatur to Rhome, not bad (except for that van rollover I saw). From Rhome to Fort Worth: Awful.
• Thank you Decatur PD for not seeing me slide through that stop sign on FM 51 this morning.
• Anyone else kinda freaked out by that anti-lock brake vibration?
• I'm not sure what the status of all Wise County school closings is (see Messenger), but most are delayed openings until 10:00 a.m. That's dumb. if they don't shut down for today, why in the world do they shut down at other times? Edit: Between 7:30 and 8:00 most, if not all the schools went from "Open at 10:00 a.m." to "Closed".
• Except Alvord ISD is shut down. I actually heard WBAP's Hal Jay refer to it as "Alvoid" this morning.
• I think the word "meh" is funny, but I can never remember to use it.
• Have you seen the mysterious "Miss Me Yet?" billboard with George Bush's picture on it? You know my answer, and it isn't even "meh".
• Saw where a person on twitter says she is about to write about a "proposed sexual offender home near Crafton." I've never hear of a "sexual offender home."
• There's an alleged Sports Illustrated cover curse which has been going on for years. Last week there was a "controversial" Olympic Preview cover featuring super hawt downhill skier Lindsey Vonn. She announced yesterday she's been injured and her participation in the Olympics is now in jeopardy.
• Whatever happened to carpal tunnel syndrome?
• The oftentimes quiet Wise County Courthouse is jumping today (if it is open): Jackie Murphree trial continues, the Grand Jury is expected to meet, and the County Court at Law has a full pre-trial docket. Trust me, there is no room up there for all that. Assuming it's all not canceled.
• The boys on the Ticket estimated Troy Aikman's salary from Fox for his NFL duties between $4 and $8 million. That can't possibly be true, can it?
• I committed the cardinal sin of buying different brand black socks over the last year. Now I have Sock Drawer Chaos.

I'm Declaring "Wise County Blizzard 2010"

100% chance of snow? Not above freezing? Man the snow trucks, pick up some pork and beans at Walmart, and snuggle up with your best blue tick hound. It's gonna be a rough one. I'm getting Pete Delkus on the horn for up to the minute updates.

Free Money

The Sheriff's Office is about to send this out.

I'm Late To The Party On This

Some good folks are trying to set up a halfway house in Chico for folks which have gone through Substance Abuse Felony Punishment Facilities (SAFPF). Let me tell you how SAFPF works: It starts as a six month in-house drug rehab program run by the Texas Department of Criminal Justice. Yeah, it's basically the pen. From there, they are released to a 90 day halfway house like they are trying to set up in Chico. Ninety-nine percent of the time, SAFPF it is a condition of a drug probation that was part of a plea bargain that a defendant reluctantly accepts to avoid a potentially long prison time. (And all those that go through the program aren't "felons" because some are on a probation that did not result in a conviction.) I've had several clients that would much rather have just "regular pen time" than SAFPF because once they would be through with the six months incarceration and then the halfway house, they would be back under the thumb of probation. And if they are under the thumb of probation, they can still end up having that probation revoked resulting in a prison sentence anyway -- Even after jumping through the hoops of SAFPF. Of course, that has nothing to do with the fact that the proposed halfway house in Chico is being confronted by the "not in my backyard" crowd.

Jackie Murphree Trial: Day Two

Jury selected. Six men. Six women. Opening statements were completed this morning. I really have no idea this works, but I think the jury will be asked whether two construction companies were negligent and, if so, did that negligence "proximately cause" the collision. If so, then the jury will allocate a percentage of fault between the drunken driver and the company(ies). This trial is supposed to take two weeks. (And the courtroom has more onlookers than any case, civil or criminal, has seen in the last 18 years or so --- at least before the Sharon Green case.)

Random Wednesday Morning Thoughts

• I rarely watch Lost, but when I do I can only shake my head. Absolutely silly. And you folks who think all loose ends are going to be wrapped up by the season finale, you're crazy.
• Did you see they caught the alleged robber of the $90,000 ring from last month? It was a white guy.
• That Fox 4 morning weather guy sure likes to downplay any snow prediction. And that's probably a good policy.
• What's that bridge/road thingy they are building behind that strip shopping center on Western Center that holds a Mexican restaurant, the AT&T store, and Genghis Grill?
• OK, I'm sick of hearing that New Orleans was "saved" by a football game.
• Goofball Glenn Beck is 46 today. Here's his "best of" if you need an introduction to the future of Fox News.
• If a lawyer is dumb enough to loudly counsel his client in front of others, odds are his advice will likewise be horrible. (I see it all the time.)
• Because Comcast is buying some portion of NBC, Channel 5 news had to run some type of FCC disclaimer yesterday disclosing all the entities, directors and officers involved in the transaction. They did it during the 6:00 o'clock news last night and I bet it took over 10 minutes.
• Going back to Deborah Medina gaining in the governor's race, I wonder if Perry will back off dogging Hutchison because he's done it too well (and inadvertently helping the Medina campaign.)
• Didn't watch much of the big civil case in Decatur yesterday but I saw they were still doing jury selection late into the afternoon. I heard one defense lawyer ask the panel, "Who thinks corporations are evil and just want to make money?" Power. Down.
• Can Facebook redesign its homepage more often?
• Sarah Palin asking the Tea Party convention, "How is the hopey changey stuff workin' out for ya?" made my skin crawl.
• I went and saw Tuna, Texas once (the predecessor of A Tuna Christmas and now Tuna Does Vegas.) It was awful. Completely awful.
• Is a girl in a video in her underwear with new Skechers the product of an odd boyfriend or a sneaky viral video campaign by the shoe company?

Funky Cold

I'm not sure who Public Policy Polling is, but the group/company/entity released some polling numbers today on the Texas governor's race that are all over the news: Rick Perry 39% Kay Bailey Hutchison 28% Debra Medina 24% Those are some interesting numbers. There will be a runoff between the two top candidates assuming no one gets 50.1% of the vote or more in the March primary. If Medina were to overtake Hutchison, it gets a little crazy in a Perry/Medina runoff. Anyone want to place any bets in that race where voter turnout will, historically speaking, be low? And a couple of weeks back, I called Medina a Libertarian. And even thought she is running as a Republican, she is a Libertarian at heart (she has been a huge Ron Paul supporter.)

Megamix: Every Act Of Violence in 2010 Super Bowl Commercials

But Tim Tebow tackling his mom may be the oddest one of all.

Alternative Pick Me Up: Evil Empire Girl Behind Kansas Bench Last Night

Credit: Deadspin.

Monday Afternoon Pick Me Up --Edit: Or Whatever Day It Is

This is in honor of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue that was released today. But it dawned on me that I haven't looked at one in about 20 years. Nevertheless, I celebrate all aspects of journalism.

The Jackie Murphree Civil Trial Is Underway

Background. You've never seen so many potential jurors and lawyers in one place. And it's a bit surreal to see Jackie along with the convicted drunk driver in the same room.

Random Tuesday Morning Thoughts

• Ever since Texas went to #1 in the NCAA basketball poll, they have been awful. (They've lost 5 out of 7.)
• The updates of Jenny (the girl in ICU -- see post below from this weekend) are excrutiating to follow. I appreciate whoever/whomever is doing it, but some of the information is really sketchy. And it gives rise to a great discussion of the purpose of prayer which is best left for another day.
• Have you seen the forecast for Thursday? 80% chance of snow all morning and day long? Anyone else skeptical?
• Crazy moment from the Democratic gubernatorial debate last night: Farouk Shami promised 100,000 new jobs within two years of his election or he would personally write the state treasury a check for $10 million. And he's got the money to do it. Deal.
• "Gubernatorial" is a weird word.
• Free breakfast at Denny's this morning. There's no way I'm waiting over 45 minutes in line for $5.00 worth of food.
• If the NBA All Star game is such a big deal, then why is it being shown on TNT?
• I was just a tad uncomfortable with the Doritos "keep you hands off my mama and keep you hands off my Doritos" commercial because the kid slapped the adult at the very beginning.
• I got my haircut this weekend at a place a little above Super Cuts. Broken English Hair Cutter Person awkwardly asked me if I "had other people in my house." I told her no but she proceeded to tell me about a haircut "sale" next week anyway. She later asked me if my wife got her hair cut there. Huh? I lied and said, "I have no idea where she goes." Fail.
• I don't like hair-cutting chit chat.
• No one cares about the Winter Olympics, do they?
• Ok, I've finally watch five episodes of Modern Family. Verdict: It's funny. Very funny. But it's really just a throttled back Arrested Development.
• Drew Brees, the Super Bowl MVP, was at a Disney World parade yesterday. How much do you think they pay the MVP to do that every year? It has to be a fortune.
• Regardless of your views on global warming, how can you think one huge snowstorm in northeast disproves it? (But did you see that D.C. is expected to get another 20 inches?)
• Want to see what a crowded New Orleans bar looked like at the moment at the game winning interception?

Rare Footage Of Me Losing A Tape Race As A Kid

Yet more proof that I am the most emotionally healthy guy in the county.

Girl Lied To Us!

Remember this chick? Well, fellas, she pulled a fast one over on us. When will we ever learn?

We've Got Courthouse Protesters!

There's about eight of them. Other signs say, "Uphold the Constitution" and "You are only as good as your word." What's it mean? I have no idea. Which is normally the sign of a bad protest. I'm on it.

Random Ad In The Texas Criminal Defense Magazine That Hit My Desk This Morning

• It's a little hard to tell, but isn't that a guy with an earring the size of a dime?
• And I'm supposed to be excited about a new book when the ad uses the phrase "cause coming soon?"

Random Monday Morning Thoughts

Note: I've received reports claiming this is some lady from Boyd. I can assure you that it is not. But I'm very excited that someone in Boyd possibly looks like this.

• It's a Chamber of Commerce morning here in Decatur: Pouring rain, lightening, and 40 degrees. Good times.
• The Super Bowls sure have been good lately. Really good.
• Probably the best moment came in the fourth quarter when play by play man Phil Simms said the Saints shouldn't blitz before a particular play. That was the play where they did blitz, Peyton Manning was rushed, and then threw the game deciding interception.
• Sarah Palin had a cheat sheet written on he palm over the weekend. I'm not sure if that's really a big deal.
• The Space Shuttle fired off again this morning. More money being wasted.
• The Jay/Oprah/Dave commercial yesterday during the Super Bowl was really funny. Jay must have been doing damage control for his image.
• If my home was still sitting vacant in the 9th Ward, I'm not sure I'd feel like a Saints win makes everything OK.
• Armed military man outside of Super Bowl yesterday.
• I like those E-trade babies. (Especially the one when they were on the plane.)
• WBAP's Mark Davis likes homophobic humor?
• Rick Perry has constantly run an ad dogging Kay Bailey for voting for the bank bailout under the Bush Administration. That's unfair. Even Bush was predicting, rightly or wrongly, that an economic meltdown if it were not passed.
• So the federal government shuts down today in Washington because of Saturday's snowstorm. That means, the news tells me, 230,000 people stay home. Wow.
• Holy cow: A dead man was found in the landing gear of a jet this morning that had flown from New York to Tokyo.

NBC 5's Kim Fischer At Her Super Bowl Party

From here Twitter feed. Yay football.

Crime Reports

That makes two of us, bruther!!!! More.

Very Random Super Bowl Thought

. . . as I just noticed that my 20 oz mustard bottle contains "40% more than our 14 oz"!!!! Anyway, all football experts will tell you that "defense wins championships." Well, Indianapolis ranks 18 out of 32 in defense (based upon total yards allowed) and New Orleans ranks 25th. And about the old adage that you "must run the ball to set up the pass"? The Colts are dead last in rushing in the NFL. (ESPN stats.) Edit: Oh, yeah. A great ending: