Prediction Correct: They Maxed Her

From A Criminal Defense Lawyer Message Board: Fair?

Montgomery County Has A Task Force To Round Up DWI Defendants?

Not a whole lot of crime in Montgomery County apparently. (Their DA is a huge showboater.) And what happened to Kevin? Link.

Random Friday Morning Thoughts

• Edit: You guys are right. That pic is a repeat. But I just discovered you are remembering her from February, 2009!
• Had Wimbledon on this morning and heard the name "Ivan Lendl." Hadn't heard that name in 20 years.
• I'm really fascinated by the Austin Dismemberment Trial going on (see below.) She's the girl that won her appeal after getting a 5 year sentence. Prediction: She's about to get the maximum of 10 years.
• Earlier this year, a Johnson County girl committed suicide by driving her car into another vehicle. Well, it's happened again.
• But I still will never understand how the Medical Examiner gets to make a ruling of "suicide." I understand making a finding of death due to "blunt force trauma to the chest" but making a finding about the mindset of the deceased seems outside of their scope of expertise. They are doctors, not wizards.
• Britney?
• I caught the last five minutes of Mike Snyder's last show on Channel 5 last night. It was pretty touching (but they had him alone on the set by then -- didn't get to see Jane's earlier reaction.)
• That well is still spewing oil into the Gulf and now we've grown bored with it so it's no longer on the news? The word "disaster" is thrown around too easily, but we've got one going on.
• The Today Show this morning says that Sarah Palin is most likely making $12 million this year.
• I'm on vacation next week, but I've been working on some automated "Best Of" posts. That's harder than doing this every morning.
• This week, the last person incarcerated by the Tulia Drug Task Force Scandal had his conviction overturned. As naive as I was during my term in the DA's office, realizing that any and all multi-agency Task Forces were bad news might have been my most enlightened moment. Never trusted them.
• There will be a Hurricane Fiona this year. Complete list of names here.
• Edit: The Psychedelic Furs were at The Granada last night. That, I'd like to see.

Why . . .

. . . show the U. of Georgia athletic director do a Public Service Announcement not to drink and drive? Because he got arrested last night for DWI. Ouch. Edit: And in other DWI news, a former Texas Longhorn quarterback was arrested this morning for "driving while stoned." ("He must have tried to pass the blunt but got intercepted" - Stolen Joke.)

Wow

Remember that Austin girl I mentioned yesterday who is being retried on punishment for Tampering and Hindering Apprehension after her boyfriend killed a girl? Well, the prosecution has recordings of her telephone calls that she made while in jail awaiting trial. This girl is mean and crazy. A reporter is live tweeting them here (they'll be in reverse chronological order). Language warning.

Thursday Morning Pick Me Up: Jane McGarry?

"I love you, Jane." (@ 1:54 mark)

Edit: Why is everyone dogging me about this audio clip being "a year old". Uh, I know that! It's been a Ticket staple all that time. I just linked to it because lots of people commenting have signed off "I love you, Jane" and I thought some people might want to know where it comes from.

New Old Spice Commercial

I think this stuff is funny.

Random Thursday Morning Thoughts

• There were reports yesterday that Tiger Woods would pay $750 million in his divorce settlement. I would willing be inflicted with a lot of pain for that amount. (But I question the $750 million figure.)
• Tarrant County is having a "No Refusal Weekend" over the holiday weekend. One radio host said this morning that it's commonly referred to as "Vampire Weekend." I've never heard that, but kind of like it.
• Edit: Wise County is having a Vampire Weekend as well.
• I got my garbage disposal in. So far, so good. (But finding "plumber's putty" in the huge Home Depot took some searching.)
• Ranger Vladimir Guerrero is a beast. I heard the batting coach say his only responsibility as for as Guerrero is concerned is to "make sure he doesn't miss his turn at bat."
• As usual, that was a lot of coverage of a hurricane that turned out to be a big bag of nothing.
• 41 of 110 Supreme Court justices had no prior judicial experience before getting the gig.
• Didn't you cringe when you saw the funeral announcement for the two month old in the Update?
• The Dallas Police Chief's son had PCP in his system when he killed the Lancaster cop? PCP? I've been doing criminal law for 20 years and I've never prosecuted nor defended a PCP case.
• I've never seen any of the Twilight movies but I've heard the only way to see it is on opening weekend when the theater is full of crazy moms.
• Mike Snider was on WBAP this morning discussing this evening's final broadcast on KXAS Channel 5. Man, get ready for a meltdown between Jane and him -- I can sense it coming.
• But he said one of the biggest stories he covered wast the Delta crash at DFW. He said he grabbed his cell phone which was "as big as a brick" and started running. But that crash was in 1985 -- did they even have big phones back then?

Keep Watching

Just when you think you've seen it all . . . Edit: Ooops. The original version I watched ended at about 2:15. I don't even know what happens after that.

Well, I'll Be.

Story. Credit: This tweet.

Guy Laying On Curb At Decatur Walmart On Monday

Got to appreciate a man who can get comfortable anywhere. (Thanks emailer Brittany.)

Crazy Criminal Case

I've been following this story out of Austin for quite some time. This gal's boyfriend kills a girl in his apartment and then decides he needs to remove the body by cutting her up in parts. (Insane.) So he recruits Laura Hall to help him. He was convicted of murder and she was charged with Hindering Apprehension and Tampering With Evidence. (She had nothing to do with the murder.) Her first trial resulted in a 5 year sentence but it was overturned on appeal (which might fall under the category of "be careful what you wish for.") Her retrial started up yesterday. Story here. (Her case on appeal, which contains a comprehensive recitation of the facts of the case, is here.) Edit: Some guy is live tweeting the trial.

Texas Tech Professor Teaches Class By Webcam . . .

. . . and then forgets to shut it off while he surfs the internets for . . . uh, oh. Now they can't find him. Story.

Random Wednesday Morning Thoughts

• I had to replace a garbage disposal last night. Well, at least I tried. I remember doing it 20 years ago and it took me about 45 minutes. This time it took me two hours just to get the old one out (rust is not your friend.)
• Is there any purpose to the confirmation hearing for Supreme Court nominee Elena Kagan? It's just another opportunity for Senator grandstanding.
• Former Evil Empire great Cedric Benson was arrested again yesterday (bar fight). After a BWI arrest and DWI arrest a couple of years ago, I thought he had cleaned his act up with a resurgent career at Cincinnati. Hey Cedric: Don't put yourself in bad situations.
• The media's coverage of a tiny hurricane about to hit Mexico gives me Tired Head about the rest of the hurricane season.
• My marital status change is about to cause a three bedroom house in the Lipsey Edition in Decatur to go on the market. Not sure what the current appraisal is, but it might be around $120,000 or so. About 2,100 square feet. Huge back yard. Good neighborhood. Before we go the traditional selling route, drop me a note if you might be interested. Edit: Email me at blog2[at]wisecounty.com
• The Vuvuzela Horn twitter feed is ridiculously silly yet funny.
• Shout out to Decatur lawyer Mark Howell for dropping off some home grown tomatoes. Maybe my favorite food in the world.
• One thing I left out about Vegas: The number of Asians visiting that place is amazing.
• Tom Hicks was drawing a $180,000 salary from the broke Texas Rangers? As much money as he's made (he still lives in the most expensive home in Dallas), was it all worth it to have your reputation drug through the mud in the end?
• AnObiter got stung by a Wise County wasp and swelled up like Oprah Winfrey.
• Channel 5's Mike Snyder will have his lost last broadcast on Thursday. Get ready for an epic meltdown between he/him and Jane.
• Steve Carrell leaving The Office.
• If actually been doing Billy Blanks Tae Bo routine and it's not bad. Except I (1) have no rhythm and (2) always refer to him as Billy Blaze in honor of Night Shift. (Whatever happened to Michael Keaton, by the way?)
• Mavericks President Donnie Nelson is going to Germany to tell Dirk Nowitzki that the team loves him and would love to re-sign him. Really? They have to kiss up that much to him even after paying him $18 million last year for another failed season?

Are The Cops Going cRaZeEE?

In the squad car with the video camera rolling. What could possibly go wrong? Story.

Oh, My

And tell me this sentence isn't a kick in the gut: "Kocab's wife is due to give birth next week, while Curtis leaves behind his wife and four sons, ages 9, 6, 5 and 8 months." Full story.

I've Avoided . . .

. . . the teacher/student scandal for awhile, but I can't pass this up. One month and four different teachers in Tuscon? Sheesh. Obviously, those on the right used some poor judgment. Those on the left must be criminals. Everyone knows that.

Random Tuesday Morning Thoughts: Vegas Edition

This is a continuation from below.

• We flew U.S. Airways and, amazingly, both flights were on time. (Although their counter workers look stressed and upset all the time.)
• Ex-Cowboy Darren Woodson was on the plane - flying coach.
• Stayed at the Venetian which has a canal running along high tone shops on the second floor which is above the casino. I have no idea how they do that.
• Running a casino would be a monumental undertaking. They are little cities within themselves.
• I had always thought of Vegas basically catering to people in their 30s and 40s. It seems more like people in their 20s and 30s now. Or maybe I'm just getting older.
• Going to get the marriage license was a trip. The clerk's office is open 24 hours a day and there were at least five other couples there when we got our license. Kind of funny to see one couple come in behind us, spend about five minutes with the application, and then turn around and walk out.
• Jumped in a cab right afterwards and decided to go to Freemont Street. The cab driver replied, "Uh, you're already here."
• On that street we ran into the Fake Bret Michaels. Funny.
• The next night we ran into two fake guys from The Hangover. Very funny.
• The night club line at the hotel was insane (we didn't even try to get in.) It had to be a two hour wait and maybe more. No. Way.
• I got up around 6:00 the next morning to walk around the casino. Never before have I seen so many couples and singles staggering back to their rooms like they had been run over by a truck.
• After the wedding, we decided to eat lunch at Wolfgang Puck's restaurant at the hotel. One thing I don't care about, and am extremely cheap about, is food. But I decided to celebrate with a ridiculously priced lobster sandwich ($28). After my first bite, I might have pulled out a paraphrased John Travolta's "milkshake line" as he ate at the diner in Pulp Fiction with Uma Thurman.
• Since I was wearing a suit and had a couple of minutes to kill at one point, I decided to stand in the casino and scan the place like I owned it. I was immediately bombarded with people asking for assistance. I bailed.
• On the morning we're leaving, I'm up again at the crack of dawn walking around the casino. In kind of a secluded area (since the crowd wasn't up yet), I hear a voice from behind me say, "Hello, handsome." I turn around and it's a hooker! I almost spit out my drink because the whole scene made me laugh which prompted a "Was that that funny?" from her. I then ran away. (Well, walked, but you know what I mean.)
• I'm not a gambler because I don't like the odds. But as we were leaving I decided to do something which I had never done: Put $100 on the roulette wheel for one spin. We couldn't decide on red or black so we flipped a coin. (See how scientific this is?) Having chosen red, I let Mrs. Liberally Lean place the bet. Man, it was so fun to watch her face. I expected to lose but moved closer to the wheel to watch that little white ball come to rest .... on .... red. Vegas, baby!

Don't Get Used To Posts Like This

Ok, let me tell you what I did this weekend. I got married. Yep. Legal and everything. She's already looked for a loophole, but I've got this deal wrapped up tight.

We had both done this, uh, "wedding thing" before and, in our eyes, that ruled out a big formal ceremony. So what's the opposite? Vegas. The Little White Chapel. Schtick. Fun. Tenderness.

The Famous Little White Wedding Chapel may be one of the cheesiest and sweetest places in America. But at first glance you have to say to yourself, "Look at that place! You call that romantic?" I don't blame you for thinking that. I certainly did once the limo dropped us off there.

Of course, things got much better when the soon to be Mrs. Liberally Lean walked through the door and the staff said, "You look like a Barbie Doll!"

But the minister was the sweetest, grandfather type you've ever seen who had worlds of advice and treated the ceremony with dignity, respect and reverence. There's actually about three chapels in there and we, for obvious reasons, ended up with one of the smaller/intimate ones. That guy was so great. Doors shut. Nice music in the background. Beautiful flowers everywhere. Never before have I gone from "I'm not so sure about this place" to "This is the greatest moment of my life" in such a short period of time.

And then we topped it off with a photographer who unintentionally sounded just like Borat. He put the icing on the cake when he told Mrs. Liberally Lean (who wonderfully tricked up the event by wearing a tiara to complement a gorgeous dress), that "You 'ave funny 'usband."

As were were getting our pictures taken outside, a tourist couple walked by and immediately stopped down to watch us. During a quick down time, we asked them where they were from. They told us "Columbia" and I, for some reason, blurted out, "I just watched a documentary on Pablo Escobar!" That prompted the couple to look at each other with a confused look and Mrs. LL to look at me with big eyes and fire off a quiet, "What's wrong with you?"

The wedding was absolutely, 100% fun. And that's the way it should be.

(More detailed observations about the weekend later.)

Thanks Emailer -- Be Careful Out There

I know this is "287" but I'm not sure about what part.

A Lesson On How To Be A Hot Girl

Not only are you adventuresome (and a little nutty), you plop right up and laugh after almost breaking your neck.

Random Monday Morning Thoughts

• "How 'bout that ride in?" (That's for fans of The Hangover who kept up with me this weekend. I'll dedicate a post to it later. Promise.)
• I missed the coverage of the funeral this weekend for the Lancaster cop killed last week, but apparently a lot of officers were not pleased with the decision to give a police escort to his deceased killer who was the son of the Dallas Police Chief. Don't most processions have a cop or two helping out?
• It's odd, but I don't see a lot of funeral processions any more.
• It's brutal over at the City of Bridgeport. It has eliminated 25 jobs this year including 10 over the weekend. Wow.
• It's political death morning: Former Texas governor Dolph Briscoe and senile long term Senator Robert Byrd.
• And I hope she doesn't join that club: Former teen sensation Jennifer Capriati was hospitalized yesterday due to an overdose. Jogging in the afternoon was probably a bad idea.
• I tried to watch the season premiere of Entourage last night but was too sleepy to make it through it.
• Michael Douglas' ex-wife says their divorce decree entitles her to 1/2 of his income off the upcoming Wall Street 2 movie. (The article throws down Douglas' character's famous line, "Greed . . . is good."
• Ghana? We got beat by Ghana?
• This is abbreviated, I know. I'll make it up to you.