Don't Be Tricking Up Your Christmas Shows!!!

With a title of a video like that, you know it's going to be good.

Texas Monthly Unveils Its "Bum Steer Awards" Cover

Off the top of my head, I can't think of anything that happened in Wise County this year that will make it in the issue.

Last year we made it twice:

HERE’S A SHORT SENTENCE: “JAMES, YOU’RE AN IDIOT”
Fearing a long prison sentence, James Carroll Franklin, of Azle, fled the Wise County courthouse while a jury was deciding his penalty for a drug conviction. As police chased Franklin across three counties, the jury’s recommendation, probation, was announced. A judge added 180 days in jail for the escape, and police said Franklin would likely face additional felony charges.


BUT WAIT . . .
An exercise to test Decatur’s preparedness for swine flu outbreaks was canceled because of concerns over actual swine flu outbreaks.

Miley Cyrus Takes Bong Hit Of A Legal Substance. America Refuses To Just Shrug.

This video was showing up all over the place this morning, but I blew it off when I first saw it. Then WBAP mentioned it on its top of the hour news so this may be on CNN and FOX already.

Apparently she is smoking something called "salvia" which is some legal herb in California. Obviously, we'd ban it in Texas quicker than you can say "K2" because we don't need some pseudo California hippy weed infiltrating the Bible Belt.

And, I'll be honest, I didn't even make it halfway through the video. The moment Miley starts giggling and amazingly proving she can be even more annoying that she already is, I was out.

Edit: Dang YouTube pulled it!  Probably because TMZ is claiming the copyright and has the video posted here.

A Picture Of The Creatures That Control My House

The cat has looked that way ever since I told her, "Don't expect to see Christmas."

Random Friday Morning Thoughts

• There's a divorce going on in Dallas where the wife wants $15 20 billion and the guy actually has that much. Edit: Oops. Poor guy only has $5 billion.  I bet he regrets getting younger at that position.
• I'm not sure what the hype is about the new TRON movie which is based on a horrible video game (I'd put a quarter in and watch a motorcycle run into a line within 15 seconds) as well as a previous bomb of a movie from the 1980s.
• Family picture time was last night with a remote controlled camera. That was a very Modern Family wheels off experience. ("When's this going to happen?" I asked. "In about 15 minutes," came the reply. My new internal married clock told me that would be slightly over an hour. I was right.) 
• Regarding my opinion of the silliness of the FBI tricking dumb-terrorist-wannabees:  Geraldo Rivera said the same thing on Fox & Friends this morning. (Side note about another contributor to the program: When did Stuart Varney turn into fear-mongering hack?)
• Texas DPS inducted 37 new troopers yesterday. They walked into the ceremony chanting, "A trooper's life is made for me." Really?
• And the keynote speaker actually said, ""It's significant that when Chuck Norris dreams of what he would be, he dreams that he would be a member of the DPS. That says something." Really?
• The Wise County guy on trial for dope got 12 years. And all across the state this evening prosecutors will ingest a fluid into their body to alter their mental state at a thing called "happy hour."  
• For most of my life, I wouldn't acknowledge Christmas until a week before it happened in order to avoid Christmas Burnout.  That might have been a mistake. 
• Some company called Groupon was approached by Google with an offer to be purchased for $6 billion. They turned Google down. Mark Cuban would have told them to take "stupid money."
• The Mavericks will lose in the first of second round of the playoffs -- I don't care if they win 50 games straight. (And, man,  I despise their coach.) 
• Neve Campbell looking hot.
• I was watching part of a documentary on World War II last night (on the bombing or Britain.) I perceived myself as an inquisitive guy trying to learn something. I suppose the kids in the house perceived me as an old guy watching a boring war show.
• Story regarding this headline:

What Is Up With This Kid?

I mean your dad has died in Afghanistan and you're dancing around on the Today Show like you're at Frilly's after a few brewskis on Karaoke Night.  Dude! Have a little respect. (And a good slap on the back of the head from mom wouldn't have been a bad idea either.)

And just when you think you're through shaking your head, the family gets a bunch of crap from Walmart to make them feel better.

That Dang Right To Free Speech

Original.

Just Watched Closing Arguments On Punishment

Sounds like a run of the mill dope case. He faces 2-10 years on one case and 2-20 years on the other.

His criminal history:
2009: Unlawfully Carrying a Weapon
2006: Unauthorized Use of Motor Vehicle (felony)
2006: Assault - Family Violence
2006: Theft by Check
1999: Assault - Family Violence

But my favorite part came from the defense lawyer who told the jury, "If the destruction of this man would lead to the elimination of drugs in Wise County, I'd do it for you. I would stomp on him like a cockroach and spread his innards from wall to wall."   He uses that line all the time, and it always cracks me up.

Random Thursday Morning Thoughts

• The U. of Florida football job is open again, and former Tech coach Mike Leach has already said he's interested in it. Not a chance.
• I bought the wrong type of outdoor Christmas lights last night ("cool white?") and ended up tricking up the game room with them. It was a high point when the result got a "Cool!!!" out of the 7th Grader.
• It now glows like a dance club. I almost broke out the new "Weekend at Bernie's Dance."
• The House passed the Dream Act (referenced below) last night. Let the wailing and gnashing of teeth begin. 
• Not sure why the Family Pup had a toboggan on last night. Or why someone had him do a paw-to-chest-throw-a-gang-sign move. But it was funny.
• The trooper that slammed the woman's face into the concrete wall along the Dallas North Tollway is already on trial. Unfortunately, it's just for misdemeanor assault.
• The Morning News has a story this morning on a 38 year old that has held a Justice of the Peace job in Collin County since he was 18: But what caught my eye was that he 5'9" and 525 lbs. The guy might want to think about getting a thumb stomach. 
• TCU coach Gary Patterson has a weekly show on WBAP. No. Personality. At. All. 
• Drives me insane: The FBI, again, has coaxed a dumb kid into trying to set off a fake bomb and then proclaims another victory on the War of Terror. And what fine investigative work made them single him out?: His postings on Facebook.  Sheesh. And the kid was so skilled in terrorism, his idea was to "stuff a sock or something" into a car's tailpipe to get it to blow up. 
• If the FBI spent as much time trying to coax white supremacists into, say, trying to blow up an African American church, they would have equal, or greater, results. 
• The Ticket mentioned yesterday that Mark David Chapman was photographed with John Lennon hours before he killed him. I don't think I had ever heard of that before. (Noticed the bagofnothing.com guy has the same observation.)
• Is it ghoulish to want to go by The Dakota, the scene of Lennon's murder, the next time I'm in NYC?
• Texas law enforcement seized 36,280 pot plants in 2008, 62,000 in 2009, and 83,000 in 2010. They tell us that's proof the War on Drugs is working. Nope. It's crystal clear proof that you're losing. 
• Cliff Lee talk: When some team offers him a six or seven year contract, they don't expect him to pitch for six or seven years. At his age, they are hoping for five years of production but are doing the equivalent of financing a big five year contract over six or seven years. No one seems to understand that. 

Wise County Man Kills Himself Near Amarillo After Arrest

Story.

Texas Senator Is Against Crash Diet In Support Of Immigration Reform

 The Dream Act would allow a fairly quick path to citizenship for illegal immigrants that came to the U.S. while under 16. However, it would require either enrollment in a college or the military and not having a "criminal record."  It's said to possibly impact two million people.

I'll take that as a reasonable suggestion. And so do a bunch of students in San Antonio on a hunger strike until it passes.

This silly "deport 'em all!!!" mentality is failed logic. Something must be done, and this would be a reasonable starting point.

Story.

Does This Look Like The Face Of A Guy Who Was A Fake Lawyer For 10 Years And Then Showed Up For Court Drunk?

I told you this job will beat you down --- even if you're just a "play like" attorney.

He was arrested in Hunt County but has practiced in Denton, Tarrant and "18 other counties". Hey, you kids over at the Wise County and District Clerk's offices, you got a record on Jeffrey Scott Partlow?

Link.

TCU's Bowl Opponent Is Journalistically Weird

The University of Wisconsin's independent school newspaper (1) publishes the names of students who took their Rose Bowl tickets against TCU and tried to scalp them on Facebook, (2) wrote there was a "special place in hell" for them, (3) then took the names down because it couldn't verify all of them, (4) then edited the column saying all of this was just "tongue in cheek", and (5) then shuts the comments section down and says their calling the cops on all of those that made threats.

Link.

Random Wednesday Morning Thoughts

• Creepy: A party, a couple leave, car crash, man dead, lady passenger missing with footprints in the snow leading away from wreckage.
• The mayor of Farmers Branch wants to create a Farmer's Branch ISD separate and apart from Carrollton. Let me guess: He wants to kick out some illegal aliens trying to get an education? Wants more bureaucracy? Wants to spend more taxpayer money on legal fees?
• I guess Political Correctness was invented so people wouldn't be offended but, in the end, a lot of people get needlessly offended while witnessing Political Correctness.  If I ever get to the point where I'm offended by someone telling me "Happy Holidays", it'll be time to reboot my life.
• State Rep. Jane Nelson's proposes a lifetime driver's license suspension for those convicted of two DWIs. Clueless. Even MADD thinks the bill "is a distraction from those good bills that have been filed."  After watching the legislature for years, it is easy to come to the the conclusion that no one is more of a look-at-me-politician than Nelson. 
• There's certainly nothing funny about a lady falling in the background of a live newscast. Ok, maybe a little funny.
• The pastor of the First Baptist Church of Dallas is a nut. And he comes across as someone who'll be involved in some scandal some day. 
• You would have thought we would have cared about him: Did you know the Taliban has held a U.S. soldier for 526 days? Have you ever heard his name?
• It's the 30 year anniversary of the murder of John Lennon.  It was my mom who woke me up with the news since she was watching Monday Night Football where the news first broke.  I remember her telling me that a "one of the Beatles had been murdered." I remember groggily asking, "Who? McCartney!!???"
• And I had forgotten how Howard Cosell had broken the news as a last second field goal was beginning to unfold on the field. (Watch it.)
• President Obama doesn't have to apologize for agreeing to keep the "Bush Tax Cuts" in place. 
• I don't know why everyone thinks the Cowboys beating of the Colts seals Jason Garrett as the team's next head coach. An injury ridden Colts team out gains the Cowboys in total yardage and almost wins despite turning the ball over four times including two interceptions returned for touchdowns.  To almost lose that game tells you the Cowboys had a horrible performance. 
• I actually watched the famous Jimmy Valvano speech from the 1993 ESPY's last night -- something I'm not sure I've ever done. He would be dead of bone cancer in less than two months afterwards.
• At one point, Valvano, while smiling, tells the audience that a guy in the back is telling him that he has 30 seconds to wrap up. "I got tumors all over my body. I'm worried about some guy in the back going thirty seconds, huh?"
• And one more as I lead you into the cover of a North Carolina newspaper:  "Cancer can take away all my physical ability. It cannot touch my mind; it cannot touch my heart; and it cannot touch my soul. And those three things are going to carry on forever."

Wow. That Really Was A Good Bye Message Yesterday.

Is That Jarhead?

For years I thought Jarhead was just a wise guy talking smack to the rest of us. Now I find out that the marines have "knife hands"? What the heck is that? I just thought they liked to shoot big ol' guns and stuff. Instead they've got lethal hands that could double as party tricks. Cool.

(And why does it sound and look like these two guys are in the maintenance closet of a club?)

Hide Yo Wife, Hide Yo Children, Hide Yo Reindeer . . .

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

. . . because they're impaling floats all up in here.

First Baptist Of Dallas Will Not Put Up With Secular Stores!! Calls 'Em Out

​First Baptist Church of Dallas sends word that this morning on KCBI-FM (90.9), Robert Jeffress announced the launch of a website --Grinch Alert -- "dedicated to showcasing businesses that do not show outward signs of supporting Christmas." In other words: He's declaring war on those who've declared war on Christmas. . . . . more.


Jesus was a big fan of shaming people. Especially at the mall. Look it up. 

Random Tuesday Morning Thoughts

• Looked like a crazy crash on Southbound 287 south of Decatur last night. I saw two troopers this morning looking at skid marks that appeared to show a car running off the highway and slamming head on into the concrete wall that makes up the side of the bridge of FM 407. 
• Elizabeth Edwards, still wife of disgraced former presidential candidate John Edwards, has stopped her cancer treatment and essentially posted a "good-bye" message on Facebook yesterday. If the great book Game Change was truthful, they had an incredibly dysfunctional relationship. But I'd hate to see the evil glances he's going to get at the funeral from her side of the family.
• Those Lexus Christmas commercials make me feel like I belong in the poor house.
• Someone once told me there was an actual "poor house" in Decatur at one time.
• Promised the missus that I'd take her to see the movie "Burlesque".  Does she not realize that Christina is starring in it? I'd make her take me if she hadn't said anything.
• The Family Cat has now discovered Christmas tree ornaments. And now a water bottle spray right between the eyes hardly phases her.  She's becoming the Terminator Cat.
• It's Pearl Harbor Day. My one visit to Washington DC led me to the National Archives where they were displaying the draft of FDR's speech showing that he had written in "infamy" over the original phrase "a day that will live in world history."
• TCU is actually a 2 1/2 point favorite over Wisconsin. Not so sure I'd bet on that. 
• Inappropriate wedding reception.
• There's a weird "hearing" on the constitutionality of the Texas death penalty in Houston going on.  The DA's office down there even refused to participate in it claiming that since the defendant hasn't even received the death penalty, how can he challenge it?  Prediction: I think the judge is predisposed to find it unconstitutional, will do so, and then will be reversed on appeal if he refuses to allow the jury to deliberate on life or death if the guy is found guilty. 
• My Newsweek at home and Time at the office used to be on an automatic renewal. Now that's suddenly stopped. I wonder if that has anything to do with the sweeping credit card changes that went into effect a while back?
• Went back and watched Sunday's Dale Hansen's Sports Special and it was weird he had Walt Garrison on talking quite a bit about Don Meredith. Presumably neither one of them knew he had died about four hours earlier but, oddly, Garrison (a close friend of Meredith's) at one point referred to him in the past tense with, "He was a funny guy."
• Any of you married guys feel like your going to die when the wife drives? Just checking. 
• Just overheard in the office: "I don't want anyone looking at me when I'm dead." 
• The Wikileaks founder was arrested this morning in England on sex charges out of Sweden, but those charges are strange. The legal consultant on Fox and Friends this morning said that the "crime" was consensual, that the media referring to them as "rape" charges was inaccurate,  and they were not recognized as a crime in England so they might not extradite. 
• And the story of the Chinese scientist dressing up as a panda in order to calm a baby panda was pretty funny: 

100 Greatest Sports Pics of 2010

It's got an international flair, but there's some pretty good stuff there.

You Know That U.S. Treasury Currency Building On The Way To Fort Worth?

Things are not going well.

Do to a screw up, they have quarantined one billion $100 bills. That's a lot of scratch.

May I Endorse Something, Too?

At lunch, I could have sworn I heard a commercial on The Fan for mycomputercareer.com (or something like that) where "former Dallas Cowboy Cedric James" was doing the endorsing.  My radar first went off when I heard "NFL" and "Dallas Cowboys" because the NFL comes down hard on, and charges a fortune for, use of its trademark. (You'll see Cowboys like Jason Whitten endorse some product but the company will have him  introduce himself as "a professional football player" so as to avoid having to pay the NFL.)

But after I got past potential trademark violations, I began to wonder who Cedric James was. I'd never heard of him. Was he a member of the Dallas Cowboys? You bet!!!  Take a look at his career.

And we thought Dan Meredith was a legend!!!

It's like the computer company thought "let's find the  cheapest Dallas Cowboy we can and then have him say 'Dallas Cowboys' in our ad."  But I think they might be about to learn about trademark law.

Oh, No: Turn Out The Lights

The great Don Meredith has died.

Edit:

I Love This Gal

I was watching SEC Championship Game when this Dr. Pepper competition came on. I love this stuff.

But as soon as the chick threw the first pass, I yelled at Mrs. LL, "She's doing a two handed chest pass!!" Mrs. LL had a huge question mark form over her head because she wasn't watching but quickly locked in and fired off a "Go little girl!!!!!!"

The winner's reaction was fantastic. I think she won $125,000 in college scholarships or something. No biggee.

I would like to have been there during her prep when it dawned on her (or someone with her) that she doesn't necessarily have to throw a football like a football. A couple of chest passes just for grins, and they had to have thought, "This plan is so crazy that it just might work."

Random Monday Morning Thoughts

• There's a boy on a Mesquite high school drill team? (Photos.)
• The national Fox News, as predicted, jumped on the Southlake Chase Bank Christmas Tree Scandal this weekend. (Which really wasn't a scandal at all.). But did you see the hairstylist who donated it? For the life of  me I couldn't determine what sex he/she was. 
• Introduced the Family Unit to Kincaid Hamburgers over the weekend (Did you know there's one in the new shopping center at I35 and Heritage Trace?)  Verdict: They loved them. 
• The Star-Telegram had a retrospect on Amon Carter Stadium yesterday and highlighted a "low point" when only 11,400 showed up to see the final game  of a winless season against Baylor. I was there as a high school student and remember looking at the empty stadium like it was the Roman Coliseum: In some ancient time, this used to be a big deal. 
• I'll do a separate post on the White Rock Half Marathon, but I'm sad to report that Barron Green beat me by five minutes. This epic saga continues. 
• But I'll mention I stood by former Dallas Mayor Laura Miller for the national anthem. Two observations: (1) She talked the whole way through it, and (2) She's pretty hot. 
• Contagious yawning is still a bizarre concept.
• President Obama released his first pardons, and its a weird list of old crimes. 
• Tap the brakes on the Cowboys. Yesterday just proved that Peyton Manning is cable of giving you the game if he tries hard enough. 
• Oregon opened up at a three favorite against Auburn in the National Championship game? No way. (And I haven't seen a line on the Wisconsin/TCU Rose Bowl game but I bet Wisconsin is favored. Oh, and there was a brawl outside of the Rose Bowl this weekend. ) 
• Beautiful Christmas decorations at places we always forget to visit: Nice hotel lobbies. 
• Mega church pastor Joel Olsteen was on Fox and Friends with his wife this morning discussing the "war on Christmas". Oh, yeah. At the end of the segment he promoted his new book and his book signing today in New York City.
• And if that wasn't enough, I saw an SUV driving like an impatient nut this morning only to find out it had a "Keep Christ In Christmas" bumper sticker. 
• Norah Jones and Willie Nelson teamed up to sing "Its Cold Outside"? Not bad. 

TCU Stadium Goes "Boom" This Morning

That's pretty impressive.  And to think I sat up there in September.

See many other angles of the implosion here, here, here and here.