Hey, Look What Mrs. LL Did To The Family Gangsta Sedan!!!!

I always knew she'd get in a wreck.  I just never thought she'd be sitting still and absolutely faultless when it happened.

If you got momentarily delayed due to a four car wreck at 377/114 in Roanoke yesterday afternoon, she was part of the problem.

(There's actually a pretty moving story with this, but I'll either let her tell it or get express, written permission before I do.)

Friday Night Lights Of Unbearable Heat

Boyd 26 Godley 62
Instant analysis: Godley? As in Godly? As in God-Like? I think not. No mercy there.

Glen Rose 36 Bridgeport 53
Instant analysis: 89 total points in the first game of the season where the defense is always ahead of the offense. This was 7 on 7, right?

Perrin Whitt 7 Chico 38
Instant analysis: Somebody call 911! Chico has risen from the dead and has gone into butt-kicking Zombie Mode.

Whitesboro 7 Decatur 35
Instant analysis: The changing demographics are not kind to a team named after settlement of Caucasians. They do know we have a black man in the White House, don't they? Time to change.

Northwest 46 Carrollton Creekview 27
Instant analysis: Never cared about Northwest. Not starting now.

Paradise 20 Venus 16
Instant analysis: The Goddess of Love against a Place of Bliss? There should have been some kind of tricked up promotion with the game being played in Godley.

Soon To Be Ex-NBC5 Reporter Kim Fischer Takin' Ya Into The Weekend

That's right. She's leaving.

Dueling Headlines Today Will Make Your Head Spin

Sentencing for something that happened last year . . .

And this is how police describe an incident that happened yesterday . . .

Budget Crisis Solved: Texas Supreme Court Upholds Tax On Nude Dancing

Today the Texas Supreme Court, in a unanimous opinion [pdf] of Republican justices who don't want to be labeled as supporters of neekid dancing in the next election, said it's OK for the legislature to single out nude dancing establishments and slap a $5 fee for every customer who comes through the door.

Things I learned by glancing at the opinion: There are 169 of those businesses in Texas, and the first $25 million collected (someone do the math for me on that) is to go to the "sexual assault program fund."

Look at the bright side, at least that'll keep out the riff-raff.

Sanger ISD Teacher Convocation 2011

It's a callback to Hee Haw with a nod to Rick Perry. This video has some potential to get some traction. Performers are Superintendent Kent Crutsinger, deputy superintendent Eric Beam, and assistant superintendent Jackie McBroom. (Thanks, Kevin.)

Lyrics:

Eric
There's bus transportation, school breakfast and lunches,
I asked Mr C, he said "That all is fine"
He says he's quite sure that we can do all this
As long as it don't cost this district a dime!

(chorus)
Where, Rick Perry, are you tonight?
Why did you leave us here all alone?
You promised us funding for all Texas children,
But then you heard "White House" and - psssst - you were gone..

Kent
Wonderful teachers, a wonderful school board
wonderful parents, I can't help but think.
If everything here is really so awesome, then
why do I find so much hair in the sink?

Jackie
First there was TABS and then came the TEAMS test
Up came the TAKS - before that the TAAS
Now EOC - it's all called the STAAR test
Standardized testing's a pain in the ....

Random Friday Morning Thoughts

• Second softball practice is in the books, and  I'm stressed out of my mind. Doing anything for the first time is challenging. Doing something for the first time in front of an audience is mind numbing. 
• I guess it will be worth it, but when I laid/lain down last night I was thinking, "What do the kids and parents say about me when they get home?" Yeah, I know. Give that up. 
• And my coaching philosophy did a 180 yesterday afternoon when I heard an old audio clip from Jason Garrett who said that the worst coaches he ever had were those who told him he was doing a great job regardless of his performance. Ladies, meet the new boss. 
• And then I ran into the girl who has all sorts of talent but who refused to follow through on her throw out of, I believe, defiance. So then I'm faced with trying to convey the message of "you and I know you're good but you can be better if you'll just listen."  Do you just say that? (12 and 11 year olds.)
• Funniest tweet about the Aggies telling the Big 12 yesterday that it was officially exploring other options: "aTm just changed its Facebook status from 'It's Complicated' to 'Single'."
• Based upon his swing, President Obama is a horrible golfer.
• I had a hearing yesterday where a police officer in Wise County honestly admitted he made a mistake when he could have easily  lied and gotten away with it. It probably jeopardizes the case (a misdemeanor), but his credibility is forever fixed in my mind. If he writes something in a police report in the future, I'll believe it. 
• That lesson needs to be taught in every police academy and at the DPS training in Austin. In the courthouse, an officer is known first and foremost by his reputation for honesty.
• Kinky Friedman endorsed Rick Perry yesterday. Has there ever been a more irrelevant political figure than Kindy Friedman? 
• Danica Patrick announced she would join NASCAR full time next year. Has there ever been a more irrelevant race car driver than Danica Patrick?
• Lake Bridgeport is now 12 feet low.
• I gave a ride to a Hispanic guy yesterday who couldn't speak English who was (oddly) delivering two cars off a big rig in my residential neighborhood and then, after driving one of the cars to its destination, couldn't find his big rig. You can read that sentence five times and you'll  still be as confused as I was as he tried to explain what his his situation was.
• My life is getting weird.
• I did tell Mrs. LL as I backed out of the drive way, "Nice knowing ya." She just looked back at me and said, "Seriously?"
• "Come on Irene, oh I swear (what he means)" .......

Hey, You Guys Were Mentioned In Our Semi-Weekly Paper

Not sure how I missed this. The guy that gave the Child Abuse Recognition Seminar (my label, not his) wrote a response to the negative reaction in the Messenger this week and mentioned the Best Blog Not To Win A Local Award in 2011.  But, sheesh, he did go on. He spent most of the time responding to comments in the blog and even identified them by time of posting. (i.e "anonymous at 4:41 p.m. wrote")  I guess he wrote a blog comment posted in a newspaper as an opinion piece.  This new media makes my head hurt.

I'm pretty much neutral on the whole issue, but I hated it when he used the "if it saves one life argument" at the end.   That never makes sense to me. It would save one life to have all cars built like a NASCAR, for us to be mandated to wear crash helmets, and, in the context of abuse, limiting a parent's contact with their child to times when it was being being remotely monitored by the government on video. All of those would save one life. Guaranteed. But they are all sacrifices that we as a society will not make.

Cremation Talk

I'm minding my own business up at the courthouse this morning and got sucked into a conversation.  One fine employee was talking about how her parents wanted to be cremated. However, I knew for a fact that those parents are over-planners and have already purchased burial plots at a local cemetery. They've even gone so far as to have had their names engraved on the headstone. (That's some serious planning.) So I asked this fine employee why they wanted to be cremated when they already had plots. Her answer: They planned on burying the ashes in the plot.

I said that's crazy. She said I was crazy and that it "happens all the time."

Discuss amongst yourselves. Show your work.

Random Thursday Morning Thoughts

• Steve Jobs resignation from Apple can only be seen as an anticipatory obituary for a man who has battled cancer over the last few years. (And I still love the iPhone and long for an iPad or Macbook Air.)
• Don't look now, but the Rangers lead over the Angels has shrunk to 2 1/2 games. (It was at 7 about a week ago.)
• Ok, the first softball practice is under my belt. I stand in front of juries all the time, but I'm not sure I've ever been as nervous as standing in front of all those girls and their parents. 
• "This might be a little tricky" -- My thoughts when a simple "play catch with your partner" drill turned into a war zone of errant softballs. 
• I don't think I've got any problem parents -- at least not yet. (One parent, who seemed really into girls softball, asked me if the league used "designated pitchers." I told him I didn't know when I was really thinking, "What's the heck is a designated pitcher?") 
• Oh, and some of you softball gurus out there, tell me what the "Look Back" rule is.
• How do I know Hannity, Grace and Sheriff Joe are putting on a persona? The same way that I can spot a bad actor in a movie.
• A guy who was stopped for DWI-Third Or More in Decatur and received eight years in prison, had his appeal denied by the Texas Court of Criminal Appeals yesterday. (Underlying opinion.)
• Same thing happened in this Bridgeport assault case.
• The Bridgeport pre-parole facitlity, which employs about 60 people, had its contract extended yesterday.
• The Tom-Bishop-Will-He-Be-Forced-To-Drive-A-Pickup Saga won't be answered until Monday at the earliest. All the Commissioners are out of town at some type of legislative training (which might be a little excessive in its own right.)  Edit: Commissioner Harry Lamance is in town 
• The Update has a story of some kid who burglarized a Decatur home and stole, among other things, a Yorkie. The cops probably caught him when he returned the dog after a couple of hours of constant yelping. 
• The media loves to track a hurricane. The process always reminds me of a line from the Simpsons: "Better than the act. Better than the memory. The moment of . . . . anticipation."
• And I keep singing, "Come on, Irene" instead of "Come on, Eileen."

The "War" Continues

More. It was reported they were all from the Metroplex but DeLuna pled on a felony drug charge in Wise County in 2007. I don't know the disposition but it is cause number 12776 if someone wants to look it up.

Says She's Not Buying "It's The Whole Winds' Fault" Theory

This lady was in the crowd when she saw the stage collapse at the Sugarland concert earlier this month in Indianapolis. She wasn't hurt. No one in her family was hurt.  But she wants a big bag o' money because she saw it happen.

She describes the trauma: "There was a person that I saw struggling to breathe, fighting really hard to live," she said. "And then they covered this person up with this itchy, it was some random carpet from the stage. And I kept saying, 'That's going to be itchy,' because I'm a mom. But I didn't realize that the person had died."

Side note: I hope you guys won't sue me for the occasional Random Thought Girl Viewing Trauma.

It's Crazy Day

First I missed this completely from the Update:

And then someone sends me a pic of LeeAnn Rimes tattoo:

And now gold is dropping like I predicted the other day! I'm an investing genius!

Messenger Above The Fold

Random Wednesday Morning Thoughts

• The Messenger has dueling opinion pieces about the Child Abuse Training Session that teachers were subjected to last week. (One was written by the guy that presented it.) . I think I'll take credit for bringing that issue to the forefront -- or those who first mentioned it in the comments should. 
• I'm now coaching a 12 and under girls fast pitch softball team, and  I'm scared to death. (And if any of you know any major deviations from the rules of baseball that are contained in the USSSA rules - which I just heard of last night -- let me know.) I've already spent time figuring out base distance, pitching distance, and ball size. 
• The team was created from overflow players from the other teams when the turnout was greater than expected. This has Bad News Bears written all over it. 
• And I'm sooooo working on my "lollygagger speech." 
• From the Editor in the Messenger last week: "Predictions of our quick demise were greatly over-exaggerated. That which did not kill us has made us stronger, as well as more nimble, and has given us a much broader perspective than the simple confines of Wise County, Texas."  Hey! That's real close to "the humble confines of Wise County, TX" that's in the masthead above.
• The alleged Paradise murder case may involve bondage and chains. 
• TexasLending.com runs the most questionable commercials. For months they have run a radio spot which begins (and I paraphrase): "Mortgage rates have risen above six percent in the last two weeks. Well, they haven't, but that's what you'll hear in the next couple of months so you need to act now." Their "prediction" continues to be false as mortgage rates haven't been over 6% all year (and actually fell in the 3% range a couple of weeks back.)
• Oddly written blurb in the Update today. Decatur ISD's Monday enrollment was 53 more students than last year. Then they casually throw in that attendance grew by 37 from Monday to Tuesday. 
• In looking over the list of people I despise (Hannity, Sheriff Joe, Nancy Grace, etc.) I think I determined the one quality they all have in common: They are selling a persona to the masses which they know is fake.
• Oh, and Sheriff Joe tweeted this morning, "I'm getting ready for a big operation today." Either he's going to roundup a punch of illegals or he's having a colonoscopy. I can't tell. 
• Idiocracy: A bunch of former Hooters executives are not going to open a bunch of Twin Peak restaurants. 
• WBAP's Hal Jay on Minnesota Viking Adrian Peterson this morning: "Is he that good? He's done pretty well for Minnesota but he hasn't set the NFL on fire yet has he?"
• Sports nugget: In last 3 years, Boise State and TCU are a combined 74-5. Two of those 5 losses came to one another.
• Are the local lumber companies still open in Wise County or has Lowe's really hurt them?

If You're Traveling on 114 Through Roanoke This Afternoon, Not So Fast

Tanker carrying jet fuel on fire shutting down 114 both ways near 377.  (Photos stolen from Fox 4 web site that had live coverage ongoing. Go visit them so they won't yell at me.)  It's a bit hard to tell exactly where it is.

Update On Earthquake: Who Is That Guy!!!!!!!!??????

At the exact same moment the guy said he was thankful it wasn't a terrorist attack, look who shows up in the background!!

Take us to DEFCON 5 and get me the President on the horn!!!!!!!

(Edit: Rage chimed in and ruined a perfectly good bit by pointing out the guy is a Sikh and not a Muslim. The day I left facts get in the way of humor is the day I shut down Liberally Lean.)

Earthquake Just Felt In D.C. and New York

Twitter is freaking out at 12:55 p.m.

Edit: And now the comedy comes rolling in . . .

Edit:

Hold the phone!! Fox News says Washington Monument may not be fair and balanced. Could be tilting!!!

"Most Eligible: Dallas"

You won't hate them because they're beautiful, you'll just hate them.

I'm not saying you should watch this show, but you've got to watch this show on the Bravo Channel.  These are real Dallas hipsters that (1) are either acting like [expletive deleted] or (2) are actually [expletive deleted]. It's almost impossible to explain.

However, a pretty funny review (almost a running description) is here.

But I would be remiss if I didn't point out that the guy in the blue shirt is for University of Texas quarterback Matt Nordgren. (He was the guy who sat on the sideline while Major Applewhite brought the UT program from the dead and then watched Chris Simms try to kill it again. For you stat guys, he completed 8 passes in four years.)

The woman in the long red dress, Tara Harper, is somehow in the Dallas 10 Most Beautiful Women competition over at D Magazine.

A Dallas restaurant's sentiment of the characters is expressed below:

Hey, Now: The Lady Behind Mrs. Fields Cookies

Although I'm not even sure Mrs. Fields Cookies exists anymore.

Random Tuesday Morning Thoughts

• The Oakland Raiders have a grandmother as a cheerleader.
• I ate at Chuy's off 7th Street in Fort Worth the other day. Good stuff. But the walls seem to be decorated from a garage sale of the furnishings of every type of closed restaurant. Elvis? Christmas balls? 
• I had to go to a driver's license hearing in Fort Worth yesterday and got in the worst traffic jam I've ever been in. On I-35 at 820 to I-35 and Belknap took just under one hour to navigate. (And by the time I got to the accident scene, it was completely clear. It felt a little wrong to feel that I was cheated out of seeing what the hold up was about.)  
• I think I got talked into being a softball coach when I was deliriously tired late last night.
• In light of the violence at NFL games over the weekend, The Ticket had a discussion yesterday about how a certain "dangerous element" has worked itself into the fan base of pro football games. It seemed like they were talking in an uncomfortable code.
• An interesting moment came when host Corby Davidson asked how "those people" can even afford to go to the game in the first place. "You know they aren't getting up the next day and going to work at Chase Bank."
• One final Ticket note: Host Bob Sturm is taking a month or so off in order to finalize the adoption of a child from Guatemala. Man, that's an honorable act. (But he spoke of how it had been a ridiculously long two and half year process.)
• Hey, whoever/whomever keeps posting comments about the One Stop of Texas in Runaway Bay, you can stop now. You've obviously got a beef with the place which consumes you to no end.
• I need to check with the Rock City burger place in Bridgeport to see if business went up last week after it became the subject of discussion in the comments. One of these days, I'm going to sell ads on this thing.
• I'm kind of surprised there hasn't been a bigger Constable Tom Bishop vs. Commissioners' Court before now. 
• You guys can buy gold all you want, but I'd fear a crash of biblical proportions. That market seems to be full of people that will panic once it starts to go down with a selling frenzy ensuing. 
• A father drowned his two children yesterday but only after (1) the mother, Kametra Sampson, jumped out of his car abandoning the kids to notify a deputy constable she saw, and (2) the deputy constable didn't get involved in a chase due to "no chase policy." Sheesh.
• The Dallas Morning News has a story about that mother's Facebook page but the article is behind a paywall. The only Kametra Sampson I could find is one listed as "Kametra Ibetyaniggawantthis Sampson." Oh, my.
• Fox 4 forecast for the next seven days has the temperature at a least 104 every day. Good grief.
• "And Another." (Texas) Edit: Link fixed

How Can I Not Post This?

A new Dairy Queen sign erected in Wise County? Yep, in Rhome. What a glorious day.

(Thanks emailer.)

If you could get to the Messenger's site .....

I Get Some Strange Emails

I presume this is legitimate, but that sure is a lot of hard drives.(Then again, I just learned the company is traded on the NYSE and had over $1 billion in sales last quarter.)

New Graffiti In Decatur This Morning

Interpretation?

Funny

Animated GIF of Rick Perry stroking some guy's hair. 

Here. (Didn't want to bog down the load time by posting it inline.)

Random Monday Morning Thoughts

• In separate instances this weekend, a stunt plane crashes to the ground and an "air walker" falls to his death while trying to go from a wing of a plane to a helicopter. Good Morning America graces us with video of both this morning. Kind of makes the show ironically titled today.
• I don't think being a "wing walker" is a necessary craft in this world. 
• Former Bridgeport/TCU footballer Colin Jones was drafted as a defensive back but has also been practicing as a wide receiver. I don't know if that is a good sign or bad. 
• That first day of school is a big thing, isn't it?
• Photo from the funeral of the Bridgeport child that was accidentally killed in a gun accident last week. (Facebook, so maybe limited access.) Edit: Available here and here.
• Random jogging thoughts: (1) What are the chances of being mugged in the dark while running, (2) there was an assistant DA in Tarrant County who claimed that his sister was the "Central Park Jogger", (3) I wonder how many people remember the "Central Park Jogger" case. 
• In the Paradise murder case, the Messenger reported over the weekend that the victim had been "positively identified" but that the name was being withheld until next of kin could be contacted. I would think that would have been done by now. 
• Can't remember the name of the new comedy which is being promo'd by some lady saying, "Why do guys wear a jersey when they watch a football game? That's be like me watching CSI dressed up as a dead hooker." 
• In San Francisco, you can take your family to an NFL game and try to avoid two separate shootings in the parking lot and a man beaten unconscious in the bathroom. Sheesh. Here's the brawl in the stands during the game. (Video.)
• Next we'll be seeing a gunfight breaking out in a soccer game in Mexico. (Video.)
• Our new dryer is right out of Idiocracy. It doesn't have a timer on it -- you just set it to "dry" or "less dry" or "more dry" and it stops when it is finished.
• If you saw the biggest baby in the world do a faceplant off of a couch this weekend while his sisters(?) dance in front of him, then you probably saw one of the most bizarre videos ever. I don't even feel comfortable linking to it. 
• Lindsay Lohan and her momma do not look like Lindsay Lohan and her momma.
• The Decatur ISD Superintendent was quoted in the Amarillo paper saying the Texas legislature did not have the "political will" to deal with the budget crisis. 
• I saw a commercial for a big budget movie last night called Contagion which looks a lot like Outbreak. (And did the latter really need that helicopter chase scene?)
• The Messenger's site is loading slowly, isn't it?
• After being beaten senseless for month, the Rebel Force in Libya had a cakewalk into the capital city over the weekend and took it over. I kept thinking it was set up for an ambush, but maybe I'm wrong. 
• #34, here is your fifteen minutes of fame: 

You Remember That You Are Running For President, Don't You?

Hey, I don't care what you build, but if your in the middle of a campaign which is in the middle of a horrible recession, you might not want to file paperwork to demolish you $12 million vacation home so you can quadruple the size of it.

Rick Perry would jump on this like nobody's business but for living in a taxpayer funded $10,000 temporary rent house.