10.05.2014

My Trip Back To The True Death Star: Darrell K. Royal Memorial Stadium




Twenty-nine years ago, I went down to Austin to watch Baylor play UT. A Baylor win locked up a trip to the Cotton Bowl. It didn't happen. My figurative beat down from the UT fans that day has led to a life-long hatred of the Evil Empire. It's not a malicious hatred. It's like the feeling those who have a love/hate relationship with the Cowboys, Yankees, or (until now) the Heat. I want to beat them, but I'm glad they are around. And it's more fun when they are good.

But as I saw Baylor creep up to a 16 point favorite, I had an internal struggle: Go down there with the expectation of winning to exorcise demons from 29 years ago, or do what I normally do -- stay home and watch the game with low expectations. Hey, I'm a new man: I jumped into the Dodge and headed to Austin on Saturday morning. This is my story. (Dah-dum).

  • I-35 is coming along. I had almost no traffic issues.
  • If you ever want to remember you're in the Bible Belt, roam around on the AM dial in Central Texas. (I heard a guy tell me to teach my kids that there is a distinct and unwavering line between right and wrong. Would it be OK to steal food to feed you're starving baby? No, he told me. "Once a person steals because of a reason he thinks is right, the next thing you know he is stealing his neighbor's car because it is nicer than his." If you heard me scream, I apologize.) 
  • Don't try to pick a restaurant off of an "Austin's Best Breakfast" list and try to get in even at 10:30 a.m. on Texas Game Day and when the Austin City Limits music festival is in town. 
  • I spent about an hour or more roaming the campus. I'm not sure I've ever done that at UT. I spent an unusual amount of time looking up at The Tower. 
  • I walked into some Student Services building in search of a bathroom. Door open (colleges are soooo wide open).  As I was walking out, I passed by two students who were studying. I heard one say, "when an electron . . . " and then I think every electron in my brain exploded.  The concept of being transported in time back to college is traumatizing. 
  • I tried to picture going to school there but I hate the feeling of that campus. (No offense.) There's just a sensation of inside every building there's a group who understands how the Empire works that the average student does not.
  • Man, this was the first time I've been in the stadium since the wholesale renovations. Wow. That place is incredible.
  • I cringed at "Red McCombs Red Zone" being plastered all over the north end. 
  • But my favorite moment was this. I was walking around the stadium before the gates were even open and peaked through the wrought iron fence to try and get a glimpse of Darrell Royal's statue. It was far away, and I was really surprised to see another statute right by it. Mack Brown? "No way", I thought. I'd know that. I saw a guy holding up a sign that said, "Fan Information" so I asked him who the other statue was. "Joe Jamail," he tells me. I replied in righteous indignation, "They've got Joe Jamail's statue next to Darrell Royal's?" He replied, "Yes, sir. Mr. Jamail's name is on the stadium and he has provided much support ,...." I didn't hear anything else because my ears began to bleed. 
  • Texas, you have a problem: The University has a statue of your greatest coach ever next to a booster. (Image.) I find that horrifying. And that might be the exact reason for your recent problems. (Some on campus agree that a statue of Jamail -- his second one -- is uncalled for.)
  • I walked past a guy training the young volunteers who were to hand out programs (for free!).  "OK, let's get fired up!," he said. "Texas!" he yelled. "Fight!" the group halfheartedly replied. "Texas!" he said again. "Fight," they replied. "Baylor!" he yelled. "Sux!" the group lamely retorted. "We'll have to work on that," the guy said. Above, there's a link about how the concept of a Texas crowd yelling "Sux" in 1985 was appalling to innocent little me and launched me into my lifelong hatred of the Evil Empire. Hearing that on Saturday morning seemed like karma. I was glad I made the trip at that moment. 
  • Once inside the stadium, there's a weird haze over the Texas fans. This is a low point in the program's history and they know it. There was no energy.
  • And there is a major audio train wreck they have: The team warms up to very loud hip hop music from speakers on the field (Baylor does it at home, too), but the stadium audio system is blaring its own random music at the same time. I promise you, in the middle of the 45 minutes of that mess, I was being whipped by Journey on the stadium PA system and Drake from the field PA system. Simultaneously. It was maddening. 
  • I ended up sitting by a sixty-something year old Texas fan who claimed he had been going to games since he could buy end zone seats for a $1. Nice guy. "This is the worst Texas team we've ever had," he said. I felt bad for him. We talked the entire game.
  • Don't get me wrong. Some of my best friends are UT exes. But you can't hate people like that. So I was constantly, and successfully, on the lookout for the three types of Texas fans that drive me nuts: (1) The guy who looks like a meth head who couldn't have possibly graduated from high school, (2) The thirty-something seemingly successful douche guy who still thinks he's in a fraternity, and (3) The senior citizen who is so lively that he looks like he's headed to a swinger's party after the game. Boy, they were all around me once I took my seat. 
  • "Please stand for the Baylor school song," the PA guy said. A guy right in front of me who fit into category #2 above  sat down and started munching on nachos like it was his last meal. (I pictured myself being a Tex Cobb like character who would grab him by the back of the collar and lift him up while quietly saying, "Why don't you do what the man said, and show a little respect?")
  • Another ex-fraternity boy right by him would spend the game shooting the bird to the referee after every call that didn't go his way. His seemingly respectable wife thought he was adorable. 
  • There were actually two Baylor women who sat behind me who reminded me of Cagney and Lacey.  Funny ladies.  One of them told me, "You're so tense" after the first play. After the Texas/OU game last year, I take nothing for granted.
  • The women laughed when I flinched at the sound of that loud Texas cannon. (For those who know me, I'm kind of skittish.)
  • I bought my ticket on Stub Hub. Home side. In the shade. 25 yard line. Perfect. Face value was $100 and I paid $110. The two women behind me bought their seats for $50 from a scalper on game day. 
  • "Bryce Petty. You suck!!!! You only have 87 yards of passing!" -- Texas fan screaming as Baylor took a 21-0 lead. That was the kind of moment I came for. 
  • The game was scary for a while (Texas has no offense and Baylor tried to replicate them), but it was an easy fourth quarter. I just sat back and took it all in and didn't leave early. I told Mrs. LL six years ago, "There will come a day when we actually beat Texas. It might not be in the next decade, but it will happen before I die. . . . I hope."  Baylor has now won 4 of the last 5.
  • I stayed the entire game and made the trip to Austin because I'm smart enough to know one thing: Enjoy the moment. Nothing lasts forever. 
  • (And if Baylor's offense doesn't get its act in gear, TCU will throttle them next week. As will West Virginia and OU and OSU. ) 
  • Finally, I mentioned in Friday's Random Thoughts how Mississippi was excited with Ole Miss and Miss State getting the spotlight for huge games. Both teams won. Local paper for the win: 


at 1:16 PM