Above The Fold

Hottest Mom At The NFL Draft Taking You Into The Weekend

The mother of Michigan's Taylor Lewan.

Mother's Day

Trust me on this one.

Get Me This Kitten!!

The title of the video refers to the dog befriending the disabled cat, but it seems more like a dog who has decided he can't, based upon some mysterious Dog and Cat Code, eat a disabled cat. Which brings me to my real point: I've never even seen or heard of a disabled cat (or dog). Is this common?

No offense to the Family Cat, but I'd take that little thing over my uppity Siamese feline any day of the week.

Random Friday Morning Thoughts

• In Williamson County, where the disastrous Michael Morton case originated, a mistrial has been declared in a capital murder case after "new evidence" was discovered by the prosecution during the trial. (But, this time, it doesn't sound like prosecutorial misconduct, but there's no way that judge is taking any chances in not stopping the trial.)
• I haven't written about the cop who shot the 93 year old lady in Hearne, but I was stunned to learn he shot and killed someone else less than two years ago. All of this in Hearne? Think that guy might have an edgy trigger finger? If you can't fire him, give him a desk job.
• An awful story of a male version of "And Another": An Odessa Permian teacher who resigned on Tuesday over allegations of an improper relationship with a student killed himself on Wednesday. 
• That crazy fast talking Nova Scotia guy who on Monday predicted big storms for Dallas yesterday nailed it. Delkus needs to give him a call. 
• Sophomore in the House talking about school dress codes which require uniforms: "That would seem to be, like, ya know, against my rights or something." Me (trying to get a reaction): "Your clothes are a way you express yourself. Just like you do with words. So a dress policy by a school -- which is the government -- infringes on your First Amendment right to free speech!" Her (wild eyed and with the intensity of a hippie at an anti-Vietnam rally from the 60s):  "Yeah! That's right!!!"
• Next thing I know she'll get arrested in some Occupy Wall Street rally. 
• NFL Draft talk:  (1) I was prophetic yesterday when I said that it would be fantastic television if Manziel was still on the board when the Cowboys were on the clock. And, boy, was it. (2) I can't believe that Jerry, the modern day P. T. Barnum, didn't take him. Drafting a guard which might lead to one extra win a year is nothing compared to the millions of dollars of free publicity Manziel would have brought you. (3) If I were Cleveland, I would have regretted picking Manziel the moment he made that goofy money hand sign once he was selected. (4) I used to say that I couldn't believe John Madden was a Super Bowl winning coach once I heard him on TV. I now feel the same way about Jon Gruden. (5) If I ever get diagnosed with a terminal illness, my last act will be to strangle the ever lovin' life out of Chris Berman. (6) Tweet of the night taking a shot at Johnny Football. (6A) Second funniest tweet: "Drake’s gonna have to write a song about starting at the top and slowly, steadily falling." (7) UT ex Vince Young is now backing up Aggie Manziel in Cleveland; UT ex Colt McCoy will be backing up Baylor's RG3 in Washington. Bizarro World. (8) If this is correct: A high school football player has a 6.5% chance of playing college football. Of that group of college players, only 1.6% will play in the NFL and, of that group, 50% will be out of the league within four years. 
• My NFL Draft watching was interrupted when the Fifth Grader in the House said from the kitchen, "Uh, the orange juice just exploded." She wasn't kidding. (And I have no idea how that happened.)
• Music: I've never felt so old. Here's a list of the "walk up" songs for each prospective first round pick. 
• When there's no organized dinner in the house, the Females In The House refer to it as "YOYO Night." Meaning, you're on your own. (Leftovers.)
• One General Sports Point: Hey, Baseball Nemesis, don't get to comfortable just because you get a one day reprieve because of last night. 
• I follow former Morning News TV critic Ed Bark on Twitter. He seems like an absolute jerk. 
• I think The Plain Dealer headline writer forgot to hit the center justification key . . . 

Honor Among Meth Guys

There is no greater love than to lay down one's life for one's friends? Hold on there. That's not the way they read it in Oklahoma: There's not a greater meth using power friend move than to be willing to be "gay for a second" in order to save your buddy's life from a potential overdose. I think we've all learned a valuable lesson.

If you were to dub James Taylor's You've Got A Friend over that clip there wouldn't be a dry eye in the house.

(Side note: The cops better have more evidence than just the tape to prove up possession and destruction of evidence. Just because the guys call it meth doesn't make it meth.)

I'm Not Sure Cleveland Police Thought That Through

Background if you want to know why this happened in the first place.

Very Random Picture

TCU graduates 38 student vets this semester. Nationally, 50% + drop out. Tonight--The local effort to improve #'s. pic.twitter.com/pv4oOmi72K
— Zahid Arab (@ZahidArabFox4) May 8, 2014

I did a doubletake. Is that Dwight Schrute?

I Cringed Big Time

And I had already read the "almost" shoots self.

Random Thursday Morning Thoughts

• The "open carry" nuts showed up outside a Jack In The Box in Fort Worth and scared the employees so badly they locked themselves in the freezer. That may be the worst PR campaign ever. 
• This is not an official Hot Sports Opinion, but I could see Johnny Football sliding to the Cowboys. (I heard yesterday that there hasn't been a quarterback as short as Manziel taken in the first round since the 1950s.) There would be no greater TV than to have the Cowboys "on the clock" with Manziel still on the board. 
• Hey, Nemesis: Colby Lewis. 3 2/3 innings. 12 hits. 7 earned runs. The rotation ERA has risen to 4.79, fourth-highest in the majors. "Say me name."
• Dallas Morning News columnist referring to his daughter: "Cussing's fine if we are connecting." And The Ticket's Dan McDowell said the other day that he didn't mind his young kids cussing in the house. Is there something going on here?
• So I'd tell Bernie to break his bond conditions? Nope. I'd just tell him that there is a very significant chance he'd be sent back to prison and that I've heard Costa Rica is very nice and secluded.
• Regarding that goofy carrying-a-half-million-in-cash will get you sent to prison case from yesterday: An astute reader pointed out that a stripper won a case last year where the government tried to seize $1 million that she had transported by vehicle. (And, yes, the very questionable dog sniffing evidence existed in that case, too.)
• "His father, Mickey, was murdered when Mike was 9." - The first sentence in the official NFL draft preview of Aggie wide receiver Mike Evans. 
• Looks like the Wise County jury did find that the guy was overcharged in the criminal case this week. They found him guilty of Evading With a Vehicle but not guilty of Aggravated Assault. I saw the video. It's a heck of an Evading case but not much else. (But I was afraid the jury would be so mad at him for driving like an idiot that they'd convict him anyway.) 
• I was curious what the ratings are now for Kidd Kraddick In The Morning now that it's been a year since Kraddick's death. I couldn't find anything. 
• Global Warming talk gives me Tired Head, but you guys sure do get riled up about it.
• I can't remember if Catfish O'Harlies was originally Catfish Charlies or Catfish O'Charlies before it was forced to change the name due to the fact that another restaurant owned the name. 

David Dewhurst Released Another Anti Dan Patrick Ad Today And It's Just Weird

It's a minute and half long, so it'll probably never make it to TV, but it was definitely released by the Dewhurst campaign.

And they apparently had a nasty debate this morning. There will eventually be some good audio from that.

That Guy Almost Needed His Face Reconstructed

And what's up with the gorilla mask?

You Gotta Be Kidding Me

People camping out at the Chick Fil A that is opening in southwest Arlington tomorrow. pic.twitter.com/2djZEE9xPq
— Anthony Andro (@aandro) May 7, 2014

OK, Conservatives, You Care About This?

Every Wednesday morning, Texas highest criminal court releases its judicial opinions. We had a doozy this morning. Two guys were in a truck that had a half million dollars in cash. No drugs were found. The case wasn't about whether the government could seize the cash, it's whether the evidence was sufficient to uphold a criminal conviction for "money laundering" (that is, the "proceeds were from the delivery of a controlled substance") which earned the driver an eight year sentence and the passenger with a ten year sentence.

Yep, we'll lock you up for that.

Big government? Over-reaching government?

Charles Barkley Thinks San Antonio Is A "Weight Watchers Gold Mine"

Kinda funny.

Random Wednesday Morning Thoughts

• Last night, Fox 4 referred to the "affluenza" kid as "frivolous Ethan Couch".  I guess it makes sense, but I've always associated frivolous with wasteful spending. 
• And by the way, his parents didn't make a financial settlement (as reported everywhere yesterday), his father's liability insurance company made the settlement. 
• I thought the anti-Dan Patrick ads by David Dewhurst were fairly effective at first but, man, enough is enough. Could you thrown in a positive ad about yourself once in a while? He's going to screw this campaign up just like he did against Ted Cruz. Bank it. 
• Former Fox 4 gal Fiona has a new gig in San Antonio. Most reports say she split amicably from Fox 4, but I'm not so sure about that. I always thought she was great. 
• The subject of the movie Bernie (which is fantastic, by the way) was freed from prison while the courts review his conviction. For the life of me, I don't legally understand what's going on. And here's a piece of advice Bernie: The Texas Court of Criminal Appeals will send you back to prison. I'd head for the jungles of Costa Rica posthaste. 
• Whenever we tell the kids to hurry up, Mrs. LL and I will often end the sentence with: "Huge. Quickly." (That's what Tiger Woods told one of his mistresses when he was asking her to delete information from her cell phone. Yeah, it makes no sense, but it's funny. We've done it so much we don't even realize we say it any longer. )
• The Sophomore in the House turns sixteen today. Help us. 
• There is no one worse on the local news than Clarice Tinsley. That reading of Facebook and Twitter posts and that faux concern of hers drives me insane. 
• Richard Branson is cool. 
• Wise County's "Big" Ed Beckley is still planning to jump Snake River Canyon in a rocket bike (after paying the state of Idaho $1 million), but he has run into some issues.  
• A tweet from Fox News last night: "Monica Lewinsky says she was made a 'scapegoat.' Retweet if you agree, reply if you don’t." They should have added "Unfollow us if you think tweets like this are a waste of time and an obvious attempt to drive web traffic." 
• "Ask the NFL commissioner" on Twitter went about as well as you would expect. Funny. 
• Hey, baseball nemesis! You getting nervous yet? The Rangers pitching meltdown continues. Robbie Ross went five and a third, gave up 12 hits and 6 earned runs. It took a little longer to come to fruition, but it looks like I'm a Sports Predicting Genius once again. 
• There's a criminal trial going on in Wise County. It's an obvious Evading With A Vehicle case, but the jury will have to decide if the State has overcharged their case. They went with a charge greater than Evading. 
• Baylor had a promising receiver arrested for weed last Friday. I presume the ramifications, as they should be, will be small.  (Did you see on Monday's Ranger broadcast in Colorado, where marijuana is legal, the Texas broadcasters joked about the chance of getting high on cookies while they were there.) And TCU's Draconian reaction of kicking a bunch of kids out of school a couple of years back was beyond ridiculous (and I said that then.)
• The federal government released an 800+ page report yesterday warning of us global warming. I'm sure you'll all want to read it here.

Above The Fold

Is There Some Impending Capitol Invasion We Don't Know About?

DPS Launches Mounted Horse Patrol Unit at Capitol http://t.co/79dstM4Vx8 pic.twitter.com/XXdmGjwwLg
— Texas DPS (@TxDPS) May 6, 2014

They look like they expect the reincarnation of Santa Anna to come charging up I-35.

I'm Not Sure What I Expected, But I DIdn'tT Expect Them To Look Like This

DFW: 82-year-old Cleburne man arrested & charged with murdering his 87-year-old wife http://t.co/uzW3wyDwzH pic.twitter.com/dZ7MKPwd82
— FOX 4 NEWS (@FOX4) May 6, 2014

Monica Lewinsky At 40

And she's written an article for Vanity Fair. Not that I'm particularly interested, but she has been silent for a long, long time.

Internet Weather Report For Dallas From Sydney, Nova Scotia

[Staring at screen. Thinking of a comment. Giving up.]

Random Tuesday Morning Thoughts

• I received an email addressed to "all major media outlets" (I'm apparantly big time now) from moveon.org to announce a protest at the Star-Telegram's office "to demand that they stop the blackout regarding the leaked drafts of the  Trans-Pacific Partnership (TPP).  We will protest this legislation and its turbo-charged twin, 'Fast Track' authority legislation, which our media have not publicized." I have no idea what that means.
• Radio guy Mark Davis said this morning that the new Benghazi hearings are being held with the purpose of (1) finding the truth, and (2) damaging the Obama Presidency and preventing a Hillary presidency. "We can't deny that," he said. Good lord. They are politicizing the death of four Americans? 
• "[O]ur public institutions belong no less to the Buddhist or Hindu than to the Methodist or Episcopalian.” - Justice Kagan dissenting yesterday from the Supreme Court's 5-4 decision to allow prayer before public city council meetings. 
• Mrs. LL and I watched Monster recently -- the 2003 film about serial killer Aileen Wuornos played by Charlize Theron. It's great. Once you watch it, go find this clip on youtube of an actual interview of Wuornos and you'll be stunned by how well Theron nailed the character. 
• Hey sports nemesis, another Ranger starter had a bad outing last night. They've gone 3-7 in the last 10 games. 
• My routine: The alarm goes off and I hit the snooze button. The Family Pup looks at me. Ten minutes later it goes off again and she walks on my chest because she wants her belly rubbed. I comply. Snooze button hit again. Ten minutes later the alarm goes off and she jumps off the bed because it's time to go outside. Every morning. 
• Obscure NFL Draft Fact: Houston owns the number one pick and most think they'll take Jadeveon Clowney  over Johnny Football. Clowney is 6'5" 265 lbs. When Houston took Mario Williams over Vince Young in 2006, Williams was 6'6", 290 lbs. That 25 pounds and the lack of motor on Clowney seems like a huge difference for a potential number one pick. 
• The requirement that drug companies disclose every possible side effect in an advertisement seems enough to discourage them from ever advertising. 
• I went to bed last night with Six Days Seven Nights on. Is David Schwimmer one of the worst actors ever? And Friends doesn't exactly hold up over time, does it? 
• Call back from We're The Millers from yesterday: Jennifer Aniston certainly has held up. 
• The Bag of Nothing guy just tweeted that he woke up with "blood running out of my ear". 
• The Clippers' owner's mistress telling Barbara Walters that she was his "silly wabbit" and Walter's reaction of "What?!" makes me laugh. I've got it cued up for you. 

The Family Cat is after you, buddy.

Me mind on fire -- Me soul on fire -- Feeling hot hot hot

Good grief. This summer could be bad. Over 100 to the west? On May 5th?

(And the goofy commentators who in the past were quick to point out that a one day cold spell proved that global warming is a myth, where are you? This one day heat wave is equally conclusive empirical evidence, right?)

Violent Video Of The Day That I Certainly Don't Approve Of

Hey, this thing is everywhere. It's actually part of an eight minute video which I already know I don't want to watch.

I'm pretty sure if the shovel didn't knock her silly that the land on the concrete did.

Edit: If you think this girl has died, you don't understand the Internets.

Goo Goo G'joob

And Another -- Odessa

Carrasco Knighten, 25, was hired by ECISD as a P.E. teacher at Bonham in May 2013. She is the fourth female employee from Permian in about a year to resign while being investigated of an alleged improper relationship between an employee and a student. Story.

Would You Pay $100 To Take This Bus To Austin?

Speaking of @SouthwestAir competitors, @vonlanemotors' Dallas-to-Austin service launched today http://t.co/BrOVf7kKNb pic.twitter.com/pQms4Ki6Nl
— Robert Wilonsky (@RobertWilonsky) May 5, 2014

Maybe.

But I also think there's a train that I've never taken either.

Random Monday Morning Thoughts

• There was a Dallas Christian radio DJ who went on trial for sexual assault last week, but a mistrial was declared when the jury could not reach a verdict. When I heard that the "victim" said her accusation was based upon a "repressed memory", I knew there was a problem.
• It's amazing that double jeopardy doesn't prevent the retrial of a person after a hung jury.
• Fun fact: Former Southlake Carroll  coach Todd Dodge (whom I mentioned the other day) has a new job as head coach and AD at Austin Westlake. And, get this,: Westlake plays Carroll in the first game of the year.
• I keep hearing that the Benghazi murders were "preventable". Isn't every murder in one way or another preventable?
• I had to pick up the Sophomore In The House at Grapevine Mills mall and ended up walking through the food court. I was accosted with food samples. When did that start?
• There was a Jerry Whittle pontoon boat on display at the mall with a sign that said it could be purchased for $5.400 down and 180 months at $432.  First of all, that's 15 years. And that's total payments of $77,760. Someone calculate the present value of that boat for me. (I just looked it up and it's priced higher on the website.)
• There's an openly gay TCU assistant athletic director.
• I find it so strange that so many Mavs fans are proud of the team taking the Spurs to seven games. Hey, they lost in the first round, and it won't get any better in the foreseeable future. Mark Cuban inherited Dirk and he's done nothing to plan for the future.
• I watched the White House Correspondents' Dinner on CSPAN, and I came to the conclusion that President Obama is a better comedian than Joel McHale. And the opening film clip featuring Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Joe Biden, Michelle Obama, John Boehner, and Nancy Pelosi was pretty funny. 
• Mrs. LL and I watched We're The Millers over the weekend. Pretty funny. And that kid, Will Poulter, stole the show. 
• We also watched the HBO documentary on Ann Richards. Mrs. LL had never heard of the Clayton Williams "relax and enjoy it" comment, and she reacted accordingly.
• Yesterday, Mrs. LL turned over to Duck Dynasty. That Christian based show bombarded me with beaver double entendre jokes. And they appeared to have been written by an eighth grader. 
• How in the world does Floyd Mayweather, Jr. earn $31 million for a boxing match over the weekend?
• Wells Fargo is closing it's "downtown" Decatur branch.  You know, FM 51 is more of a downtown than downtown is.  
• Mrs. LL comedy teams: She'll take Robin Williams and Jim Carrey. I'll take Sarah Silverman and Ricky Gervais. 
• Some people are worried about the potential violence when the World Cup is held in Brazil this year. This won't help: "A Brazilian soccer fan was killed (video link) when he was struck in the head by a toilet bowl hurled from stadium stands as supporters of rival clubs clashed in the northeastern World Cup host city of Recife, police said Saturday."

Oh, My