I'm Sure There's a Back Story

If a guy was stealing third, we have the perfect crime.

Random Poker GIF

I don't know why I laughed at this so much.

Guy is holding an Ace and a Ten.  After four cards on the table, he's holding two pairs with one card to go. His opponent has one pair after the four cards are displayed. Two Aces and he holds a Queen.

One more card to go. I'm no poker expert, but there's only one way for Mr. Two Pairs to lose. I guess that's why his odds of winning were 93%. He's all in.

His expression is priceless and it lasts soooo long.  Extra humor comes from the guy on our right who isn't involved in this hand any longer.  There's just a small glance from him where he looks like he's about to bust out laughing.

Any lip readers out there? I couldn't make out what Mr. Two Pairs says before the final card is turned over.

Crazy Guy Trashes Restaurant's Kitchen. Has No Respect For Taser.

Language warning.



I'll tell you one thing, if I'm one of the kitchen workers I'm getting the heck out of there. I'm certainly not just standing around and letting him walk within inches of me as he experiences, uh, anger issues. Did he pick up a knife at one point? Sheesh.

The Taser part may be my favorite. He kind of treated it like a small annoyance.  At that point I thought he might be an angry zombie high on PCP. (Note to self: Remember that for movie script. #GonnaGetRich.)

And then we end it by bringing it back to current events: A review of the cops method of arresting someone. I'll be dang. Didn't have to shoot him. Didn't have to beat him senseless. Didn't have to do a fatal chokehold. Didn't have to break his neck. See, we can all get along.

Look Out! Things Just Got Ramped Up!

#Baltimore State’s Attorney says there is “probable cause to file criminal charges” in death of Freddie Gray. pic.twitter.com/6XJ1ph0Q5k

— Fox News (@FoxNews) May 1, 2015

But I'll admit the following seems a bit weird . . .

BREAKING: All 6 officers will be charged in Freddie Gray's police-custody death.

— FOX 4 NEWS (@FOX4) May 1, 2015

Complete list of Baltimore City officers' charges @FOXBaltimore @CBS21NEWS pic.twitter.com/coUlbLA7DT

— Lara Bryn Greenberg (@LaraCBS21) May 1, 2015

Edit: The initial reaction from the Far Right is that there's an out of control prosecutor who cares more about making a statement and winning than seeking justice. Perhaps. But perhaps we are entering an era where prosecutors are finally going to treat the police just like they treat your average man on the street. And sometimes that's not pretty.   Heck, regular people get indicted these days for car wrecks when there was no intent to harm and no evidence of alcohol or drugs being involved.* But this breaking news just feels different, right?

What's the phrase? "Ain't no fun when the rabbit got the gun, huh?"
________
*I got two quick comments disputing this. I can name three car wrecks in Wise County off the top of my head that resulted in death where all of the drivers were indicted. Two were indicted last October for Manslaughter (driving recklessly) and there was no charge of Intoxication Manslaughter (where the allegation would be that drugs or alcohol caused impairment which led to the fatality.). The other was a Criminally Negligent Homicide case which led to a jury trial and emotional photos. (In that case there was a blood alcohol concentration of .03 but even the prosecutors didn't believe that would have any impact on the defendant's abilities and didn't charge him with Intoxication Manslaughter.)

Random Friday Morning News

• “Every girl wants to be swept off her feet. It’s when you put her in the trunk that she starts to freak out.” - Facebook post of a Denton City Councilman.  It was deleted and he later blamed his 16 year old stepson. I think I'll give him the benefit of the doubt on that one.
• I'm not sure what class it is, but the Junior in the House has a project where she has to plan a wedding within six months and come in under a budget of . . . wait for it . . . $25,000.  (I almost went all George Bailey like he did after ZuZu got sent home from school in the rain. I'd change the line to, "What do you mean talking marriage to a Junior and what about that crazy budget???!!!") Mrs. LL laughed at me saying, "So this particular project now makes you care about their school assignments?"
• Random thought about fines in criminal cases. In plea bargains, prosecutors are pretty consistent about the fine for a particular case.  That sounds fair but it really isn't. For example, a fine of $1,250 on a Class A Misdemeanor is petty cash to some and financially crushing to others.  And even without the extremes, that punishment is different to some degree for everyone. I don't have an answer unless a prosecutor is required to review someone's tax return before making a plea bargain.
• We watched a Modern Family episode last night where heavily accented Gloria told her older husband Jay that he never goes out and has fun anymore: "You go to bed at 9:00 o'clock right after you get mad at the news!" I think Mrs. LL laughed a little too hard.
• That kid in Parker County who killed his mom and sister took a plea bargain of 45 years. He will be eligible for parole after serving one-half of the sentence.  (The Supreme Court has ruled that a juvenile cannot receive the death penalty or even life without parole.  This kid was 17 at the time of the crime.)
• NFL Draft thoughts: (1) I didn't watch or listen to much of any of it yesterday and I used to love it, (2) I think #1 pick Jameis Winston will be a colossal bust, but I am awful at QB predictions despite being widely known as a sports genius, (3) Commissioner Roger Goodell, who made $44 million in 2012, didn't know how to pronounce the name of the second person chosen, (4) I've always thought "take the best player available" regardless of need was the dumbest thing ever. That is based on the 100% wrong assumption that you know who the "best player available" is. (5) The NFL draft has an odd slave auction feel to it. "You are coming to work for me and we now have a rule which tells me exactly how much you will be paid. There is no negotiation."
• In the past, rioters would be countered by police with a fire department sized water hose. (I'm talking about just arcing the stream into the crowd).   Just spraying the crowd with water changes the dynamics because an individual rioter no longer felt shielded by the masses because he was being personally effected by getting wet. It was more of a mental trick than a physical one.  But I guess there is no way a water hose will be used in this day and time because there would be unfair comparisons to images of Alabama. 
• There was a carjacking case in Dallas last night where the suspects were apprehended after a chase. Their ages were 13, 15, and 17. And the 13 year old was driving. 
• I see so many 18 wheelers around Wise County which look like they are being driven by someone who is getting groggy. 

Breaking: Official Liberally Lean Gal Britney Twists Ankle!

That actually happens in the last couple of seconds.

But I've got an extra problem here. Although I spend most of my evenings reading fine literature, the Ladies In The House oftentimes watch recorded episodes of Dance Moms. Since I will occasionally look at the screen to make sure the content is educational and uplifting, I've become somewhat of an accidental expert on dancing. (I never cease to amaze myself.) Anyway, here's a hot opinion: These dancers surrounding the greatest musical act in the history of ever aren't very good.  It wouldn't surprise me that she was so frustrated with them that she lost her Zen like concentration which caused her near death inducing injury.

Let me just say . . . I might lead a riot because of this injustice later tonight.

Get Me This Puppy That Barks At His Hiccups!

This Week's Time Magazine

Random Thursday Morning Thoughts

• So there's a report that Freddie Gray, the individual whose death set off the Baltimore riots, might have tried to injure himself in a police van?  Other than the fact the report came from a document prepared by a police department who is under fire, the "witness" to that event was another person in police custody whose name was not disclosed, and this whole narrative sounds exactly like an episode of corruption right out of The Wire, I think we can call this a closed case. 
• The social media guy for the Houston Rockets (a Baylor grad, by the way) was fired after his horse-about-to-be-shot tweet. (Hey, to the guy who commented below who told me I was an idiot that I didn't understand the tweet was about rape, I'm a little worried about you. I think you inadvertently went through a Rorschach test when you looked at that tweet and saw something no one else did.) 
• I mentioned the other day that I was unfamiliar with the practice of metropolitan DA offices having a "list" of officers who have a past which indicates they may not be trustworthy. An officer's name will be revealed to be on that list to the defense lawyer if the officer is involved in a pending case. Makes sense. But I got to thinking. If a prosecutor has a history of unethical conduct which has been documented, shouldn't that fact be disclosed as well? Practically speaking, a prosecutor's reputation will follow him but not every defense lawyer might know about it.
• WBAP's Hal Jay this morning on NFL Draft day: "Everyone is talking about what the Cowboys should do. Hey, they went 13-3 last year. They don't really need to do anything." (I promise that's an accurate quote.)
• There is a plea hearing scheduled today in Parker County for the then 17 year old kid who killed his mother in sister in 2012. (He had been declared mentally incompetent to stand trial but maybe something has changed -- he's not allowed to plea to anything if still declared incompetent.) I'm very interested in what the deal is. 
• A soon to be famous and traumatized Navy SEAL showed up at Rick Perry's governors mansion in 2007 and Perry ended up befriending him and giving him a "spare bedroom"? 
• I know I wrote about it at the time, but in 2004 four people were murdered in a house in McKinney and it was a huge mystery as to what had happened.  Things got really muddied when a guy came forward and confessed to the crime. It was finally determined he was making it up. That guy is now in jail accused of stabbing his wife to death in a Dollar General parking lot in McKinney.
• If the Angels had come to the Rangers a week ago and said, "Pay us $6 million and we promise you that Josh Hamilton will never play for us again, we will not trade him to anyone else, and we will continue to suffer financial damage because we will pay his contract", I think the Rangers would have written the check. And I think that would be a smart move. 
• Once again, the legislature is considering repealing the monster that is the Driver Responsibility Surcharge Act.  And once again, they'll probably drop the ball. Edit: But there is hope because the Tea Party is now in favor of the repeal.

And At A Gas Station In The Holy Land

Gal asks for cigarette. Gal denied cigarette. Gal sticks lighter near gas tank.

Source.

So Close

I always root for the bull.

(But that's a pretty clever contraption they have to offer protection. That was a ton of people scrambling to safety in a matter of seconds.)

Random Wednesday Morning Thoughts

• It finally dawned on me that this Supreme Court battle over same sex marriage is only about time.  The battle is already over. Here's why. The Supreme Court is not deciding whether gay marriage should be legal or illegal. No. The states arguing against gay marriage say that each state should have the right to define marriage. They just don't want the federal government to have any say in that. Even those states agree that a state can make gay marriage legal. So even if those conservative states win at the Supreme Court, the status quo will remain and eventually every State will vote to recognize same sex marriage. 
• But the Supreme Court could make that time frame speed up to right now. The Court is actually deciding (1) whether there is a constitutional right to a same sex marriage which, if so, means the states could not refuse to issue same sex marriage licenses, and (2) If there is no such right, must those states who do not wish to issue same sex marriage licenses also refuse to recognize the legal status of a same sex marriage that occurs in a different state when that couple moves into that state.  If anti-same sex marriage states like Texas win on #1, but lose on #2, it will just move the inevitable along quicker than a win on both issues. 
• Side note: Those States who argue against there being a constitutional right to same sex marriage argued yesterday that if there were one, there could also be one for polygamist marriage and other types of unconventional relationships.  You know what? The position of states like Texas already is that polygamist marriages could be legal. If you say that marriage should only be defined by states (if some want gay marriage, fine -- if not, that's fine too), you must also say that a state would have the right to define marriage in a way that includes polygamists. It's all up to each and every state.
• All that being said, my prediction: The Supreme Court will find a constitutional right to gay marriage on issue #1 (which makes issue #2 moot.) 
• Why? The pro-gay marriage folks need five votes. We know they have four absolute locks. But there are four who are probably against it. That leaves Justice Kennedy as the only true wild card. (But of those four who probably won't find a constitutional right to same sex marriage, you know in the back of their minds they are thinking, "Do I forever want to be remembered as being on the wrong side of history?" And do you think they were influenced yesterday by the protestor in open court who screamed, “The Bible teaches that if you support gay marriage you will burn in hell for eternity”?)
• But if you want to predict how Justice Kennedy will vote, read this review of oral arguments by Slate's Dahlia Lithwick (who is beyond great). Kennedy is a great fan of dignity. (He wrote this when the Court struck down the Defense of Marriage Act: “It seems fair to conclude that, until recent years, many citizens had not even considered the possibility that two persons of the same sex might aspire to occupy the same status and dignity as that of a man and woman in lawful marriage”.) And he's mentioned dignity in other opinions. And yesterday, at oral arguments, one of the government lawyers arguing against same sex marriage was dumb enough to say this to him:  “[M]arriage was never intended to be dignity bestowing.” Kennedy immediately took issue with that. It's over.
• WBAP's Brian Estridge referred to the oral arguments yesterday at the Supreme Court as the court receiving "public comment". 
• I caught the opening of Hannity last night and Geraldo Rivera had planted himself right in the middle of a crowd in Baltimore and was doing his best to try and get punched when they crowded him to get on TV. He knew that would be great TV.
• Greg Abbott's order to monitor the federal military exercises with the Texas Guard is beyond belief. Either he believes in the silly conspiracy theory or he wants the vote of the conspiracy theorists and is willing to publically admit it.  But by ordering our troops to be "monitored" isn't he not supporting them? 
• When I wasn't paying attention, the death total from from Nepal earthquake went from 500 to over 5,000.
• The major league baseball game today in Baltimore where the Orioles will play the White Sox is CLOSED to the public. It will be played in an empty stadium.  Hey, will there be a PA announcer? And this is a great chance for bits.  How about show the dot race? What about a mascot running around looking confused as to where everyone is?  Have a concession guy go up and down the aisles yelling out "Popcorn! Peanuts!"

Houston Rockets Official Twitter Account . . .

. . . makes, and then deletes, an execution of a maverick joke on Twitter as they were on the verge of eliminating Dallas from the playoffs.

(Kind of a funny bit.)

Edit: Here comes the apology. Sheesh. Everyone lighten up. You have to apologize over emojis?

Our Tweet earlier was in very poor taste & not indicative of the respect we have for the @dallasmavs & their fans. We sincerely apologize.
— Houston Rockets (@HoustonRockets) April 29, 2015

Edit based on a comment: Uh, rape?

You're Kidding, Right?

Link

I'm Beginning To Believe The Q and A On The 700 Club Is Must See TV

And I really don't know what to think of his answer.  I appreciate his concept of forgiveness but his nonchalant response of "aww, it was just once and he was drunk -- no biggee" isn't exactly what I expected from him.

Side note: If I'm the producer of that show, I'm making of fake crazy questions and feeding them to him on daily basis.

A marketing company is about to get fired

Link

"I've got a crazy plan to save her, but it just might work."

And In Other Baltimore Rioting News

Random Tuesday Morning Thoughts

• Hey, I don't understand the riots in Baltimore or the concept of rioting in general, but I did take note of this yesterday from Martin Luther King, Jr.'s daughter: "My father's quote, 'A riot is the language of the unheard,' in no way supports violence. However, it does implore us to pay attention."
• And a riot does grab a little more attention than, say, a town hall meeting. 
• The mayor of Baltimore is catching heat for revealing that on Saturday that she had asked the Baltimore Police Department to “give those who wished to destroy space to do that.”  OK, saying that on Saturday was probably stupid.  But, you know, if she had said that yesterday after the riots had started and the situation had been assesseed, I might support her.  Stay with me here. (Let's all agree the rioters are in the wrong for the sake of this hypothetical.)  But let's also assume there are thousands and thousands of rioters and they have the willingness to go into a full scale war mode against the police if things escalate when confronted. I'm not talking about just throwing rocks. I'm talking about attacking police and taking their weapons and going on the offensive and killing police in a manner that we've never seen. (Think of those two ISIS guys in France in the Charlie Hebdo incident multiplied by 4,000). If that had happened in Baltimore yesterday, I'm not sure the rioters wouldn't have won.  The police commissioner even said last night the rioters "outnumbered us and outflanked us." The number of dead on both sides would have been staggering. Sure, the cops, with the help of the National Guard or the military. would eventually have taken control, but for one day it could have been insane.  To avoid that scenario, I'd give the rioters a place to destroy. It would almost be like setting a backfire to stop a wildfire. I thought that was crazy the first time I heard of that concept, too. 
• Edit: I'm getting immediate blowback on that bullet point.  I guess the question is this: Would you let your house be destroyed to save 100 homes? What if it would save the life of a policeman? Double Edit: But it does get more complicated when the government makes that decision for you by not offering protection. (And if you want to really trick it up, that decision to allow it by government might be the equivalent of eminent domain where you are entitled to compensation.)
• But, all that being said, she made the statement on Saturday so I won't defend her.  (And she didn't help herself by absolutely denying she ever made that admission when there is video of her making the admission.)
• And I'm an expert on all things Baltimore because I watched three seasons of The Wire.
• Changing gears . . . 
• The Rangers introduced Josh Hamilton yesterday at a press conference.  He might be the dumbest baseball player ever. 
• I've never understood the advertising of the sale of house by using the word, "Reduced!" It almost implies, "It has been either overpriced or no one wants it."
• I'll tell you about it when appropriate, but I've spent more time inside a hospital over the last week than I have in my entire life. 
• During the storms a couple a couple of nights ago, some local weathermen referred to Rio Vista as RYE-o-vista instead of REE-o-vista. I'll be dang, both could be right. Older residents say RYE-o-vista.  I guess it would be like Alvord being pronounced Alvoid back in the day. (Which is admittedly harder to understand.) 
• Oral arguments are today at the Supreme Court on same sex marriage. The audio will be released later and I'll probably listen to it. 
• We will finally get the video of the Grapevine officer shooting the motorist on May 6th or immediately thereafter. 
• You can buy the old Cow Camp Steakhouse north of Decatur at foreclosure. 

Been out of pocket. How's Baltimore right now?

	CNN Breaking News (@cnnbrk)
4/27/15, 4:39 PM Protesters kick and smash a police car as violence erupts in Baltimore. cnn.it/1bxvA20 pic.twitter.com/7yvkreebOS

Footage of When the Nepal Earthquake Hit This Weekend

Hey, this isn't going to show building crashing to the ground (although you do see dust of it happening) or anything you would see in a Hollywood film.

But you know what made the thing eerie? The birds. I've never thought about the reaction of birds when a earthquake hits but they've got the ultimate defense.

Random Monday Morning Thoughts

• A belated thought about the NASCAR race in Texas this month: That backstretch looked completely empty. Didn't that use to be full at these races?
• Last week, the chief scientist of NASA (not NASCAR) said that there will be "strong indications" of alien life within a decade and "definite evidence" of it within 20 to 30 years. That sounds like something someone would say if they were trying to drum up funding from Congress.  
• There were lots of comments on the Chico Bond election post that I couldn't let go through. Hey, if you want to call an elected official or anyone for that matter an idiot or incompetent that is fine. But I can't allow an accusation of a crime being committed or some act you believe to be immoral unless you can offer some proof or be willing to be identified.
• I love those those who say President Obama's skit at the Correspondent's dinner was below the dignity of the Office.  Have you forgotten George W. in 2004 did a bit at the same event alongside a W impersonator? Or how about W joking about not being able to find weapons of mass destruction in 2007 as he displayed a picture of him looking under furniture in the oval office?
• I'm a little confused about the the "standoff" described in the first item of the Update. So there's a domestic violence situation in Decatur (which will result in a misdemeanor) and a 911 call that the accused is about to fight another man in the front yard. He goes back in the house when Decatur police arrive. There was no mention of a weapon and officers were able to communicate with him through a window. So this requires Sheriff's office "negotiators", DPS troopers, a Texas Ranger and a Game Warden? Am I missing something?
• I ran in a 5K fund raiser at the request of the Junior in the House over the weekend who had made claims she would beat me in the race. At the starting line, I made sure she started before me because this was chipped time even.  My strategy: Let her start before me, catch her along the way, and then just run with her the rest of the way. If we then finished at the same time, I'd win. But my moral dilemma was going to be the near the end of the race. Should I pass her? Should I let her "win" in appearance but still lose in chip timing? And my plan worked out flawlessly.  I caught up with her at the halfway point and ran with her the rest of the way. As the finish line appeared over 100 yards away, she took off like a rocket. I went after her.  Two things: (1) I hadn't sprinted that hard in years, (2) I couldn't catch her to save my life and she actually put distance between us. (3) Five minutes after the race I had someone walk over to me and hand me a bottle of water because she didn't think I looked too well.  Final result: I actually beat her in the chip time, but I had no desire to mention that to her. 
• If the numbers I'm seeing are correct, the water level of Lake Bridgeport has hardly moved. With all this rain, that's disturbing. 
• A six second clip from Married With Children which foreshadowed what would become of Bruce Jenner. 
• The Josh Hamilton trade is mind blowing. The Angels owe him $80 million for the remainder of his contract. They trade him to Texas with an agreement from Hamilton that he would reduce his contract by $6 million to make it $74 million. Of that amount, the Angels will pay $68 million of it and Texas will pay $6 million.  Wow: The Angels will pay Hamilton $68 million to play for a division rival just to get rid of him! You know, Hamilton may never be productive again.  But this is the equivalent of Texas paying $6 million for 100% insurance that he will never be productive for the Angels again and have the Angels take a financial payroll hit. Not a bad idea. And if he does recover and become productive for Texas, this deal is a is a double steal. 
• I'm not a big fan of inspirational quotes, but I often mumble to myself, "Keep pounding that rock" when I need help to continue on (whether it be work or exercise or even life struggle). I learned of that phrase from San Antonio Spurs coach Spurs Head Coach Gregg Popovich who explained it this way: “When nothing seems to help, I go look at a stonecutter hammering away at his rock, perhaps a hundred times without as much as a crack showing in it. Yet at the 101st blow it will split in two, and I know it was not that blow that did it, but all that had gone before."

From Last NIght

Funny bit.

At The End Of One Of The Odder Weeks Of My Life

Stayed  up basically all night long for two night as I became obsessed with a school science project (and to keep my word that "Trust me, this will get done on time"), to a DWI jury trial, and then finished off with marathon weekend hospital visits (all is good and I'll leave that part vague), I can only say . . .

. . . I could stare at the Phil Collins Puppy for hours.