Above The Fold

Readable full page pdf here.

It's A Three Day Weekend, Let's Get Out Of Here

See the animated gif of the above here.

Texas Rep On His Standard Anti Same Sex Marriage Rant

.@LouieGohmertTX1 has said many amazing things. Yesterday he packed them all into 1 speech about gay space colonies. https://t.co/YP91qK9ZMk

— Robert Wilonsky (@RobertWilonsky) May 27, 2016

I'm pretty sure the Supreme Court has settled the issue, but let the man have his say. CSPAN always needs filler.

But you have to love his argument which comes up around the 2:00 mark. If an asteroid were to be headed towards earth and you had to load 40 people into a space craft to launch them in order to "save humanity", how many would be same sex couples?  Whoa. Good argument. But I'd trump him with a counter-proposal of putting one polygamist male with 39 fertile females on the rocket. Heck, make it one polygamist male, one female fertility doctor, and 38 other fertile females. (My Bridgeport math skills are finally paying off.)

Credit for his reference to a 1998 Matt Damon movie. Points subtracted for not doing a mic drop and walking away.

Pete Delkus Wasn't Quite Nostradamus Last Night

The bottom post came out around 11:00 p.m. (But by using the subjective word "severe" yet predicting "lightning, thunder and . . . hail" pretty much gives him a heck of a lot of wiggle room.)

Random Friday Morning Thoughts

• I wonder if Dave Campbell's Texas Football has already gone to press? If they had Art Briles on the cover, they have to be pulling their hair out.
• So far, it looks like only Briles is out at Baylor. That leaves a Top 10 team coming back this fall with defensive coach Phil Bennett (now interim coach) and offensive coordinator, Briles' son, still intact. You would know who would be a great head coach who (1) is available now, (2) would bring instead credibility back, and (3) would be the perfect "caretaker" to a machine that is already built?: Mack Brown. Considering the fact he is still not pleased about the way UT treated him in the end, he might just do it. 
• "Last night moody county south dakota. 21 heifers killed dead after lightning hit the metal bale feeder." Photo.
• A few weeks back the "Austin City Council passed a number of regulations targeting ridesharing companies like Uber and Lyft" which caused the companies to pull out. Why? Aren't any regulations ultimately unenforceable? After all, Uber is nothing more than one private person agreeing to give a ride to another private person. 
• Did you know that Bill Murray just didn't show up to play in the Colonial Pro Am. He was hired by new sponsor Dean & Deluca.  What a great gig. 
• President Obama embraced at survivor of Hiroshima in Hiroshima this morning. He later wrote in a guestbook: "Let us now find the courage, together, to spread peace, and pursue a world without nuclear weapons." No nuclear weapons? Is he crazy? Keep reading . . . 
• "My central arms control objective has been to reduce substantially, and ultimately to eliminate, nuclear weapons and rid the world of the nuclear threat." - Ronald Reagan, March 24, 2016 1984.
• Chris Berman will leave ESPN after the end of the NFL season. It's like a Christmas present in May!
• The Gaylord Texas opens up its water park today. Entrance price is literally "get a room". 
• I missed this headline in the Bridgeport Index: "BISD Will Follow Federal Transgender Guidelines".
• I posted a link to a story about the Wimberley flooding yesterday. This morning the county is in a flash flood warning. (To the east, over a foot of rain has fallen over the last 24 hours.)
• Decatur High School's graduation three days after Memorial Day seems late. 

Our Governor

Oh, My!!!!!!!

Baylor dismisses coach Art Briles, source told @ESPN. Briles informed players via text, source said. Announcement expected at noon ET

— Brett McMurphy (@McMurphyESPN) May 26, 2016

Man, oh, man . . .

A Long Read For Upcoming Long Weekend

A faithful reader suggested this story, and D Magazine is promoting it even though it is in Texas Monthly. It's the incredible story about the flooding of the Blanco River in Wimberly last year over the Memorial Day weekend. For one family on a long weekend vacation, it was the ultimate tragedy. Here's the story.

Before:

After:

Random Thursday Morning Thoughts

• More protesters at a Trump speech yesterday -- this time in California. When is the last time you've hear of organized protesters at routine speeches of a presidential candidate in May?
• Urban Myth: You can't have your prescription medication in container other than the original pill bottle. And there was actually a Texas case over the last couple of weeks which backs up what I've been saying for years: "At oral argument, the State represented that it was illegal to carry prescribed medications outside of its original container as it was delivered by the pharmacist. We have not been able to locate such a law."
• A six part show on the National Geographic Channel that is getting a lot of buzz. It is about a father who goes looking for his son who disappeared in the jungles of Costa Rica two years ago. It's called Missing Dial and people are comparing it to the great Making of a Murderer. Spoiler alert: There has been some huge news about the case in the last five days. 
• Borderline bigot, Robert Jeffress of FBC Dallas, is in Germany right now speaking to 1,000 "young pastors."  That's all we need. That guy firing up Germany of all countries with his rhetoric. 
• Fox 4 had a story last night that the American Sniper might have lied in his book about the number of medals he received. We know he lied about punching Jesse Ventura and killing two guys at a gas station in Texas who he said had tried to carjack him.  I wonder if people are going to start questioning his claim that he was able to shoot a guy from 2,100 yards away.
• Baylor has a whopping 34 members on its Board of Regents.  One of them is Mark Hurd who had to resign as CEO of Hewlett-Packard after it was discovered he had covered up around $20,000 of expenses and travel related to a female "marketing consultant". She had made a claim of sexual harassment.
• Pretty amazing: Crooks used a huge forklift to lift an ATM from a Dallas bank's drive-thru. The forklift is still at the bank this morning with the ATM on it. Pics.  
• A column in the DMN pointed out that Appraisal Districts create a fall guy for school boards, city councils, and county commissioners.  This is certainly true this year: Property appraisals have jumped dramatically which means we are all paying higher taxes.  But those boards which set the tax rate can say, "We did not increase taxes this year." 
• Oil has cracked $50 a barrel for the first time since November. 
• Texas, through Abbott and Paxton -- our own comedy team, will sue the "Obama Administration" over what many news organizations are referring to as a "presidential directive" regarding schools and transgendered bathrooms. But it wasn't a "directive" at all.(Directives have the full force of law). Instead, the U.S. Department of Education Office of Civil Rights and the U.S. Department of Justice Civil Rights Division issued a joint "Dear Colleague" letter that included "significant guidance" to schools about civil rights protections for transgender students. Nevertheless, Abbott and Paxton must always invoke "Obama" at every turn: Abbott said "I announced today that Texas is fighting this. Obama can't rewrite the Civil Rights Act. He's not a King."

Most Recent Texas Criminal Trends - Cases Filed In Courts

Drug cases dominated new filings in district courts last year.

Amazingly, DWI filings have plummeted over the long term:

Full report (pdf).

Random Guys In A Backyard Boxing Match

Note to kid in the white wife-beater: Look out for the guy's right hook.

(That was right out of Frazier vs. Ali)

Bill Murray In Fort Worth This Morning

Bill Murray in Fort Worth at @ColonialGolf pic.twitter.com/5SSV86JrE2

— WFAA-TV (@wfaachannel8) May 25, 2016

Different angle:

Random Wednesday Morning Thoughts

• I tuned into a Trump speech in New Mexico last night when he went into a rant about Syrian refugees coming to that state. (That's really a problem?) A lady behind him began yelling, with a very angry face, "Go back! Go back!" She was wearing a "Christians for Trump" t-shirt.
• And there was a heck of a protest after the speech which turned a little violent. Several Mexican flags could be seen amongst the protesters.
• My office Internet slowed to a crawl but a call to Century Link, the much maligned company, had it fixed in slightly over 24 hours. 
• I noticed the obituary of Jeremiah Martinez, 35, in the Messenger. That was a familiar name up at the courthouse.  He was a troubled soul. 
• The Colonial Pro-Am is today and you know who is playing?: Bill Murray. I'd pay more to see that than the actual golf tournament this weekend. 
• This morning's local news: A huge alligator was captured near a Dallas school. And I do mean huge. Pic.
• This morning's local news #2. A boat crushed a vehicle on a highway in Kaufman County. Pic. 
• Does Baylor not has a PR department? After the report by Chip Brown that Ken Starr would be removed as president, Baylor only issued a cryptic press release saying that Starr "is" the president. Talk about the irony of the phrase, "It depends on what the meaning of the word 'is' is."  Did they mean he is currently the president or he is currently, and will remain, president. 
• There's a Letter to the Editor in the Messenger by Bridgeport's Rusty White this week taking the War on Drugs in Wise County to task. He points out that in the most recent grand jury meeting that almost 50 percent of the 57 indictments were for drug related.  He refers to it as "people ranching" for profit and job security. 
• "Now, suddenly, to give this kind of power to a criminal prosecutor, who is virtually uncontrollable, is dangerous . . . . " - Justice Stephen Breyer one month ago during oral arguments in McDonnell vs. United States.
• Someone called the office yesterday wanting to know who to vote for in two run-off races for the Texas Court of Criminal Appeals. All four names belonged to people who were not incumbents, and I had never heard of any of them. Me! And I follow that court as closely as anyone. (One of them won last night who has the name of Scott Walker. That proves it is nice to have the same name as a very conservative Republican Governor from Wisconsin.)
• Universities can't afford to pay student athletes? UCLA just signed a $280 million deal with Armor All. Edit: Before I get kicked too hard, that was Under Armor. (I cleaned my car last weekend). 

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Above The Fold

When Donald Trump Me Ali G

Random Tuesday Morning Thoughts

• The number of elementary students enrolled at Northwest ISD? A shocking 10,136.
• The 7th Grader In The House is on a week long field trip and was in Austin yesterday where she was introduced to some Texas lawmakers who fielded questions. I told her to ask, "Will you support Donald Trump? Yes or no, and then please explain why. Thank you."
• Ranger Josh Hamilton is out for the year. The chances of him being missed? None.
• I was beaten down by The Bachelorette last night starring JoJo from Argyle.
• I don't necessarily have a problem with Dallas DA taking a leave of absence (again) to treat her mental health issues. I do have a problem if she is collecting her $210,000 annual salary while getting treatment.
• There was a "medical emergency at The Crowing Rooster, no. 18, in Runaway Bay" this morning. What is that?
• UT sports reporter Chip Brown reported this morning that Baylor regents will remove Kenneth Starr as the president of the university by the end of the month. If true, the man who started the impeachment process of Bill Clinton for allegations of sexual misconduct will lose his job for not investigating allegations of sexual misconduct. (And I wrote this on March 4th: " I've said it before: President Kenneth Starr should lose his job because he has lost control of that school.")
• The Senior in the House is graduating. I've never been though this before but I'm beginning to think that Mrs. LL, who never cries, is about to do a whole lot of crying. 
• The over/under for the Cowboys this year is 9.5. I need to break down hours and hours of game film before I can give you my Sports Genius prediction. I'm leaning to the Under.
• I had a weird sensation last night as I scanned the Netflix library and scanned basically every channel on cable (I bet I have 20+ movie channels). I have also gained access to a ton of books and a bunch of old Texas Monthly's. It's information overload and I gave up. When your options are limited, it's much easier to find gold. 
• I heard a political ad this morning for the Texas run-off for a House position by Justin Holland. Man, he hit all the hot buttons: He wants to secure the border, supports the NRA, cut taxes, cut regulations, "uphold traditional marriage", "a strong Christian", supports "stopping abortion", and supports" stopping Obamacare." That's a right wing Conservative Royal Flush right there. 

Sports Anchor Is A Little Uptight

But this doesn't beat the time Dale Hansen got mad at John McCaa for doing the same thing. (It once was on youtube but taken down. Message board discussion about it here.)

Bad, Bad Man

Dog hit with wrench by contractor in viral video https://t.co/JZkrV0Msbu

— FOX 4 NEWS (@FOX4) May 23, 2016

Proof That The Official Liberally Lean Girl Still Has It

From last night's Billboard Awards . . .

Ex-KXAS Anchor Jane McGarry

"Call the Fire Department, this is serious hotness!" That's what @ohsocynthia said! #DIFFADallas pic.twitter.com/0FJJFh8bMB

— Jane McGarry (@TheJaneMcGarry) May 23, 2016

Random Monday Morning Thoughts

• Cue the music: "Look who's back. Back again."  Yes, your long blog nightmare is over. I'm back. (But, seriously thanks to Mrs. LL for holding down the fort and acknowledging that, "Writing that blog every day is hard!" 
• Yes, I'm aware of all of the allegations against Baylor. But I'm not sure why ESPN has put Waco in its cross-hairs.
• Full Idiocracy: Did you see Donald Trump listed the goofy tweeting Texas Supreme Court judge as one of his 10 likely nominees for the U.S. Supreme Court?
• I watched the Twin Peaks of Waco documentary on CNN. Not a whole lot of new information but it did cement my belief that this will be a cluster before it is all said and done. (Did you know that not a single one of the 170+ defendants has gone to trial and none are accused of murder.)
• Bryan Cranston in the HBO movie where he stars as LBJ is fantastic. 
• Mrs. LL told me she had a blow out and it blew off the back rear panel. I thought she was just talking about a little piece of plastic that comes down behind the back tires of the Gangsta Mobile. Nope, it blew off the entire back panel!
• Fox News poll of a sample of registered Hispanic voters: For Hillary - 62%. For Trump - 23%.
• That being said, it wouldn't surprise me if Trump won the Presidency. Nothing has made sense up so far and now he gets to run with the cloak of legitimacy: He is the Republican nominee.
• First Baptist of Dallas pastor, Robert Jeffers, is at it again. He says that Transgender-friendly businesses are a greater threat than ISIS.
• Thanks for all the cards and letters while I was away. I greatly appreciate it.
• Mark Cuban says he would consider being the VP for either Trump or Hillary. Huh?
• The widow of The American Sniper is now doing commercials for a DFW car dealership. Sheesh.
• The Dallas Morning News is basically going behind a paywall again. If I understand it correctly, you get to read only three articles a month for free.
• This is not the way you are supposed to play basketball.

Above The Fold