It's Friday. Let's Get Out Of Here.

 Too much effort

 Not enough effort. (But a better relationship bet.)

 What I see when I hear, "They have good hamburgers." 

 "Let's go hiking" vs. Reality

 The plot of every single episode of Three's Company

Still a classic.

Taser: Australian Style

Love this. Crazy gal. Patient cops. And once tased she takes off running like like a bikini clad rocket.

Video.

Random Friday Morning Thoughts

• Trump fans are mad that the media is talking about him "calling a woman fat twenty years ago." There's some merit to that. So what does Trump do at 4:30 this morning? He keeps the story alive: 
  
• And does he really want me to "check out [her] sex tape"?
• Hillary had a little "shimmy" during the debate the other night (which led to a brilliant Hillary Shimmy video). But no shimmy will ever beat the greatest shimmy in the history of ever:
  
• We used to have an Anti-Animated GIF guy in the comments who would lose his mind if I ever posted one. I miss him. 
• I mentioned Judge Meyers on the Court of Criminal Appeals using the phrase "all the feels" in an opinion last week, but I completely missed something else he wrote in a dissenting opinion. He went off -- and I do mean went off -- on all the other judges on the court for, in essence, only providing justice to the Gov. Perrys and Tom Delays of the world -- two people the court had recently ruled in favor of. But if you are a nobody, Meyers wrote, the other judges will write 40 pages to rule against you. 
• The majority opinion and Meyers' opinion's appendix detail the facts of the case which actually involved Montague County. It includes a who's who of the Montague Justice system and some Wise County names are big players. 
• Bridgeport played a high school football game last night. I'm guessing they probably have before, but is that possibly the first Thursday night game for the school ever? And another fun fact: They played Benbrook Middle-High School. Yep, "middle-high."  That's even more unstable than playing high school football on Thursday. 
• Hey, I basically predicted that Dez would be out for the year with the knee injury and, based upon the circus at The Star, I wouldn't rule that out from being the actual prognosis.
• The Tarrant County DA's office has decided to seek the death penalty in a case from April where a guy allegedly dumped his better half off of a bridge over Lake Worth.  I hate the image  of two or three prosecutors sitting in a room deciding whether someone should die but I don't know how I would change the law. Sure, they don't have the absolute power to kill someone (they have to go through a jury) but they do make a literal life or death decision because they could guarantee the State doesn't kill him. 
• I thought the Texas Lottery was faltering. Officials announced there have been a record $5 billion in tickets sold this year.
• Speaking of feeling uncomfortable, put the following new release on the list as well. There's just something odd about government teaching us "how" to interact with government. (And if there is anything in the "how" that says we should be "responsive to officers questions", I'll go nuts.)

•                                 
• There was a minor viral video of a guy briefly losing the engagement ring while proposing in the crowd during a Yankees game. The video didn't do much for me, but I did smile when I first heard the TV guy quickly referencing what he was seeing as being "like a lost and found in a border town" with a guy "looking for a diamond ring." But he ruined the moment by (1) referencing that he was actually quoting lyrics -- hey, buddy, just leave it hanging out there, and (2) saying his "buddy Kix Brooks wrote" the song. 

Separated At Birth

Home Depot pulls Scary Peeper Creeper from stores in Canada after complaints it was too scary https://t.co/XhG3WCTZTH pic.twitter.com/L5aTQV2yLK

— CNN (@CNN) September 29, 2016

It was $29.98.

Compare:

Or . . .

Funny $100 Payoff

An American heckler won a $100 bet off @JustinRose99 after draining this putt. 😂😂😂pic.twitter.com/i1eY208JrM

— NBCSN (@NBCSN) September 29, 2016

I didn't look up the whole background on this but I know enough. Funny. And that's some great Tiger mimicking that the guy pulls off.

Attempted Attack On Prosecutor

Everything pretty much happens in the first 15 seconds. Story.

Not sure how we got a Surrender Cobra out of it . . .

Random Thursday Morning Thoughts

• Dez Bryant missed an MRI and more as he went AWOL for about a day and a half. The guy is such a knucklehead that I'm surprised we don't see stuff like this from him five to six times a season. But, in the grand scheme of things, he's been under the radar.
• I think the Messenger should do a story on Freedom Texas I see referenced in the Update all the time: A "group [which] works to educate people about the sovereignty, security and self-sufficiency of Texas, and promotes its eventual independence."
• Nothing like a constitutional conservative . . .
  
  
• DPS got $800 million of your dollars for border security in the last legislative session. The result?  DPS Director Steve McGraw now says it made two counties safer but that all the crime just moved to other places along the border.  Can I get Vegas odds on him now asking for more money to waste by arguing that having more millions would allow them to secure more border counties? No one cons the legislature like this guy. 
• A "radar dome" being assembled near Ennis looks mysteriously like a broken egg. 
  

• I wonder if the Ennis Radar Dome would have fit into the Waxahachie Superconducting Super Collider.
• There's some talk of putting a man on Mars. We need to have many more decades of waiting to get over the NASA waste from the post Apollo years. 
• The guy who killed two people in a crazy spree in Cedar Hill and was later caught in Georgetown, Silvestre Franco-Luviano, had been deported three times. I bet Trump mentions him. Trump would be a fool not to mention him. 
• A judge in Tarrant County in the Vandagriff murder (the TWU student) case ordered the defendant receive a mental competency exam. I'm confused about this. First, the guy hasn't even been indicted so its a little early to wonder if he is competent to stand trial. Secondly, the order was not from a district judge but from a magistrate judge. Is that routine down there?  
• I learned a ton as a kid whenever Tennessee Tuxedo and Chumley would go visit Phineas J. Whoopee, and Mr. Whoopee would pull out his chalk board to explain something.  This summer, Mrs. LL was confused as to how a sail boat on Lake Bridgeport was moving against the wind. "Tacking," I said. How did I know that? Mr. Phineas J. Whoopee.
  
• Cartoons have always been great educational tools. I bet they would work for adults if we were brave enough to try.
• There was a murder in Arlington last night in a residential neighborhood. The female arrested is accused of shooting her fiancee at 3:00 or so in the morning. 
  
• The kind-of-hot judge I've mentioned before (she got mad when a defendant was brought to court without pants, and let another defendant hold his baby) is in the news again after getting cussed out.
• If you consider the movie plot of Tom Hanks' Big from the standpoint of the mother, it is a horror movie. 

Above The Fold

Readable full page.

Breaking: Tim Tebow Hits Home Run On First Ever Pitch In Instructional League

The footage. https://t.co/aj08dB8Nwp

— Richard Deitsch (@richarddeitsch) September 28, 2016

In more news, instructional leagues apparently have crowds the size of a 12 and under softball game with the demographics of a Trump campaign rally.

We've Got A Cowboy Emergency!

Oh no. https://t.co/i1RhgWFh1U

— Gordon Keith (@gordonkeith) September 28, 2016

Random Overly Critical Observation

From 660 AM - The Answer:

 Seems like a nice gig.

So what will there be for kids at this event?

I'm guessing they aren't raising money for postpartum care.

Random Wednesday Morning Thoughts

• I don't know what to make of it, but there's a Texas government run website which  shows up to date payments on government contracts at that state level. Glance through it. Remember how many times I've told you that the way to get rich is to be in the private sector working on a contract basis with the government? The amount of money thrown around is amazing.
• Trump spent the morning after the debate calling a woman fat. This woman: 
  
• I saw her on CNN and Fox News last night but had a hard time understanding her. She didn't speak 'merican to good.  It was a little like watching Gloria on Modern Family. 
• Regarding the heroin epidemic in Ohio, this news from right across the border: "Clearfield, Pa. (AP) — A Pennsylvania coroner says a Guatemalan found dead over a guardrail had swallowed up to $500,000 worth of heroin and was killed when one of the packets burst."
• The Dallas Morning News has a story on mums. This silliness like below happens in the big city but not around here right? 
  
• That Arochi trial took a twist when the defendant agreed to have the judge and not the jury assess punishment. I don't understand that. (1) A jury, although unlikely, could grant probation. A judge can't.  (1A) You've basically given up any possible reversible error from being committed by the prosecution during the now fast-tracked punishment phase or error in a no-longer-necessary court's charge. (2) That judge has already played to the media a little bit, and I'd bet it will be a shockingly long sentence for that media as well as future political campaigns. (3) There's a consensual underage sex case against the guy still pending. Sheesh. If the defense doesn't think there's any legitimate trial error, try to cut a deal with the State on both cases. Assuming the State would listen (a big assumption), it would be a steep price. 35-40 years maybe. 
• I say it every year at this time: I love the red clouds at dusk and dawn.
• Former Texas prosecutor John Bradley, who had a controversial role in the Michael Morton wrongful incarceration case, has resigned his job as Palau’s Attorney General. A job, by the way, which looks great simply by doing a Google image search of Palau.
• A prominent Bridgeport resident had a hot sports opinion on the Bridgeport/Decatur football outcome.
• And despite the commentors yesterday: I reserve the right to pull out a Pulp Fiction reference whenever I wish from now to eternity. 
  
• Mark Davis on the radio this morning went on a double rant that everyone should pay respect during the National Anthem and that almost every black shooting by cops wouldn't have happened if the victim had "complied."  That's really scary when you cut it to its core: You  must show respect to government. If you do not comply with that government, you might die. 
• I didn't even know there was a Houston Forward Times.

Who Supports Hillary?

Religion and education best explain white voters' preferences: https://t.co/A2WOMMlqBR     pic.twitter.com/Uv1xOjpCe2

— FiveThirtyEight (@FiveThirtyEight) September 27, 2016

I think this means that if you are a heathen then you're more likely to vote Hillary. If you are a heathen with some book learnin', then you are really are more inclined to support Hillary.

Baylor's Own Newspaper Might Want To Rethink This

The story promoted in the link has something to do with tickets.  Every Baylor fan cringed when they saw the cartoon of what could be a woman, alone and crying, as she looks onto the football stadium. Extra cringe for "and that's another Baylor . . . ."

(Actual tweet is here. I think there's a chance they actually take it down.)

Random Tuesday Morning Thoughts

• How many people do you think were murdered in the U.S. in 2015? (For those interested in this fun little morning piece of information, the just released official answer is at the end. See if you can get within 10%).
• Trump was more like Trump than I thought he would be last night. I doubt it hurt him or helped him much.
• The possible exception is his interruption of "That makes me smart" when Hillary said he basically doesn't pay income taxes. That could hurt him. 
• Trump's reference of a hacker being a "400 pound" guy sitting on his bed makes me smile against my will. 
• Crime Reporting Thought: The phrase "an guns were also found" never even registers with me. I believe everyone has guns. 
• So when do we learn Dez Bryant is gone for the year? Nine o'clock hour? Ten?
• WBAP's Steve Lamb this morning said there has to something up with Dez's knee since they scheduled an MRI after seeing the X-ray. He thought that a clear x-ray would have eliminated the need for an MRI.
• A family member once took a Religion course at Baylor and found out that a Baylor football player was in the class. After the player failed a major test (made like a 40 or something) he was heard walking out of class saying, "I guess I ain't gonna be no preacher."
• It seems like every presidential debate used to focus on Social Security and the concern over whether America could "afford it" in the future. Now you never hear about it even when we are right in the middle of the time they all feared: Baby Boomers are becoming eligible to collect. 
• Maybe its because I recently watched Concussion, but I seem to focus in on any helmet to helmet hits when I'm watching games this year. 
• I made a horrible Rangers prediction a couple of months back.  Of all the powers I have as a Sports Expert, pro baseball is my weakest. That's odd since I'm a wiz at college softball predictin'.
• From the Update: "COURT’S IN SESSION – Bridgeport Municipal Court will hold jury trials at city hall at 1 today as scheduled." So something is going to happen as scheduled? Am I missing something? 
• I'm not sure what's up with the lawyer who was the guy "in military uniform with Nazi symbol injures 9 in Houston shooting."
• I refuse to (yet) believe that Dak is the "quarterback of the future."  We've seen three games. Redskin fans thought the same thing about RG3 after sixteen games of his rookie year.
• Official murder answer: 15,696.

Grade The Deputy

I'll give him a "T" because I think he's a little torqued up.

When the supervisor showed up, it kind of felt like the scene in Pulp Fiction where Travolta had the gun on the gal, Yolanda, in the restaurant. Samuel L. Jackson, the equivalent of the supervisor, was telling her to be cool because Travolta is so worked up that he might go off. Yolanda had a gun. This guy didn't.  (The guy was working as an undercover investigator on a worker's comp case. Not arrested or ticketed.)

Background on the incident and aftermath.

Watch A Guy Set Fire At Toomer's Corner In Auburn

Someone inadvertently set the one of the Toomer's Oaks on fire. It's out now, but all the toilet paper is burned off pic.twitter.com/0cSGRUBEFZ

— Sam Butler (@_sam_butler) September 25, 2016

No so much inadvertent. They found him.

The Look On That Guy's Face

And In Texas Crime News

And if you were wondering, he is 52.

Story.

(Thanks emailer)

Random Monday Morning Thoughts

• This photo was floating around yesterday. 
• 
• There is a crazy heroin/fentanyl problem in Ohio. Seven overdosed and died in Cleveland on Saturday. This comes on the heels of 174 overdose calls in Cincinnati over a period of six days last month.
• That Ice-T commercial makes me laugh every time. 
• LSU fired Les Miles yesterday so they now owe him $13 million. I'd put Art Briles in the top two of candidates since LSU doesn't care about baggage. And in doing so they might get five star quarterback recruit Jarrett Stidham who quit Baylor this summer and has already begun to hang around SEC sidelines. 
• Pretty rare to see such a stance: The Harris County Criminal Lawyers Association posted a letter "vehemently" opposing the appointment of a prosecutor to the (relatively spare) position of probable cause magistrate. They literally called her "unethical." 
• Jerry and 50 Cent together just makes me laugh.
  
• Tributes for Jose Fernandez, who died in a boating accident over the weekend, flowed in yesterday. One I heard was heartfelt but mentioned how Fernandez "lived life to its fullest."  That kind of stopped me down since being in a 30' speeding boat at 3:00 a.m. -- a stone's throw from South Beach -- would probably be considered as living life to its fullest.
• A tweet one year ago from Fernandez:
  
• I really like this photo.
• 
• Insightful Cowboy Analysis: (1) That hit that Cole Beasley took should have killed him. (2) We've got an Over-Celebrator in Ezekiel Elliott. 
• Trump moves closer to Clinton in the polls. This is kind of like the fourth quarter of an NCAA basketball final between Duke (Hillary) and Harvard (Trump).  Duke is now winning by 10 as we enter the back end of the fourth quarter. Duke feels comfortable but there's an uneasiness about that crazy and arrogant Harvard which shouldn't even be there to begin with. 

Random GIFs From Yesterday

Michigan State coach "disappeared" yesterday. (Not edited or doctored. He just walked to his left at the perfect time.)

And there was this girl who became famous for trying to catch a kickoff . . .

Different angle.

She's fine.