It's Friday. Let's Get Out Of Here.

"Me like Chicken McNuggets."

I don't feel bad for hoping that she came in last. 

When you trust your buddy to know the 

difference between lighter fluid and gasoline. 

"I'll do it. I will do it!"

To add insult to injury, I think that blow was preceded by the ol' tail to the face routine.

Girl Posts Selfie

Heard it was sundress season pic.twitter.com/TXbXrtLFKe

— Shelbs (@_shelbizzle) April 18, 2017

Gets destroyed in the Replies for having the messiest room in the history of ever.

Random Friday Morning Thoughts

• In Art Briles last year, he earned $6,234,905 (only the head coach at the public institutions of Michigan, Ohio State and Alabama made more.)
• This is quite the tribute. Cones? Sheesh. You can't find something other than what just happened to be in the back of a truck in the parking lot?: 
  
• Payouts tied to harassment allegations at Fox News total $85 million of which $65 million of that has gone to the men who were ousted. That's right. The women gets $20 million and their harassers get the rest.
• Trump had the Italian Prime Minister in the White House yesterday and mentioned Pavarotti in front of the press calling the famous tenor "a good friend of mine". Pavarotti died 10 years ago. 
• Ridiculous standard? You released a "Contract With The American Voter" during the campaign which included a "100 Day Action Plan."
  
• And he "accomplished" South Carolina?
• Tiger Woods had back surgery in Dallas. He's done. I could have sworn that Jack Nicklaus said way back when Tiger first hit the tour in the late 1990s that there was no way his back would hold up with that violent swing, but I can't find the quote. 
• Now we've learned our Attorney General Jeff Sessions isn't very bright. Yesterday he said,  "I really am amazed that a judge sitting on an island in the Pacific can issue an order that stops the President of the United States from what appears to be clearly his statutory and Constitutional power."  That "island" would be the State of Hawaii and that judge would be an appointed federal judge pursuant to Article III of the Constitution. 
• I would have hoped his "military training" would have taught him not to drive in front of a train. 
  
• "WISE COUNTY (CBSDFW.COM) – Thousands of people living around Lake Bridgeport in Wise County will start paying 66 percent more for water next month. The West Wise Utility District says the higher bills are the only solution to a water quality issue that has plagued the area more than two years." Ouch.
• Alabama is one step away from allowing a mega-church to have its own police force. Think about that. A church with police who have all the power of the government including detain, arrest, and search when lawful.  Talk about blurring the line between church and state. That law will never survive. 
• A three judge federal court found that Texas Republican in Austin gerrymandered a couple of districts to suppress minority voting. That's the third time there's been such a ruling in recent weeks. 
• I'm beginning to think John Wiley Price won't be acquitted. We may have a hung jury or a conviction on only tax evasion. 

This Is Right Out Of Final Destination

Wheel takes off from moving vehicle in Turkey's Adana, rolls into nearby pharmacy hitting two peoplehttps://t.co/mdzh0kj7AJ pic.twitter.com/dmc3ItcvOF

— DAILY SABAH (@DailySabah) April 19, 2017

Even The Kid Does Comedy At The End

Florida mascot saves little kid from foul ball! pic.twitter.com/dYOB9Gx5H5

— Baseball Bros (@BaseballBros) April 20, 2017

Random Thursday Morning Thoughts

• Trump fired every U.S. Attorney a few weeks back. He has not named a single replacement. There are 93 positions sitting empty. (It might have helped the John Wiley Price prosecutors if they had a boss.) Edit: Correction. He fired 46 U.S. Attorneys who were "Obama-era holdovers." They have not been replaced.
• A police officer in Austin in charge of running the Intoxilyzer machine did a routine "self test" which showed 0.064 and 0.065 (the machine requires two samples.) Yep, he had been drinking. He immediately reported it to his superior. Was that a noble act? Nope: (1). The DPS technical supervisor for the machine downloads the data once a month and she would have seen it. (2) The testing data for the machine is discoverable by defense lawyers who are defending DWI cases and they would have seen it. Without knowing the facts, their position would have been: A sober officer blew a 0.065? The machine is screwed up. Then the officer would either have to come clean or jeopardize thousands of cases. 
• I'm clairvoyant. Yesterday I posted a picture of Aaron Hernandez with Tim Tebow where Tebow had "John 3:16" under his eyes. There are reports Hernandez drew "John 3:16" on his forehead before dying. 
• I also correctly predicted the demise of Bill O'Reilly who got fired yesterday. (What a miserable human being.) And who will take his time slot? The guy I've been dogging for the last two days: 
  
• O'Reilly used to work at Channel 8 in Dallas:
  
• Speaking of Channel 8, they covered Decatur ISD's consideration of random drug testing. 
• If weed had run against Trump, it would have of won. In every state that voted to legalize it in November, the "for" votes garnered more votes than Trump. 
  
• Oh, my! Sarah Palin, Ted Nugent, and Kid Rock in the White House! (No word on whether or not squirrel was served.)
  
• I've not been to a high school track meet in forever although I love track. Yesterday, Decatur held the "Area Meet" which comes after the District Meet but before the Regional Meet for those who qualify. I always thought you went from district to regional. How long has this been going on? Let me guess, twenty years. 
• Unrelated: I bet I haven't seen someone write a check at a store in twenty years. 

Goose vs. Detective: Who Ya Got?

Above The Fold

Random Wednesday Morning Thoughts

• The big news this morning is that former Patriot and convicted killer Aaron Hernandez, 27, hanged himself in his jail cell. That guy was a straight up gangsta. (Odd legal note: He was serving a life sentence but the case was on appeal. In Texas, if a defendant dies during an appeal, the appeal is simply dismissed. In Massachusetts, however, they actually vacate the conviction. So Aaron Hernandez will technically not be a convicted murderer once the court issues the order.)
  
• ESPN had an interesting article on the Raiders move to Las Vegas (and how Jerry Jones intervened to get the deal done.) But in the article, there was a paragraph about how Vegas is going downhill. It's been about five years since I was there, and I didn't get that feeling. Is it true?
  
  
• And Another (Ohio): 
  
• This is a heck of a photo from I-35 moments after the West, Texas explosion four years ago. I had never seen it before. (And I continue to believe the ATF claiming the explosion was the result of arson but not explaining how exactly it was arson or having any idea who was behind it is the biggest B.S. "justify my government job because we are working so hard" report we've had in the last decade.)
  
  
• At Bridgeport elementary, we started doing square dancing in the fifth grade during P.E. That is, until some parents complained that dancing was against their religious beliefs. We stopped doing it immediately. 
• Baylor has hired its first female president. Question: Has any major Texas university, or Big 12 school for that matter, ever had a female president? 
• On the day the president’s daughter Ivanka Trump and her dad met Chinese leader Xi Jinping at Mar-a-Lago, China granted preliminary approval for three new trademarks for one of Ivanka's companies selling jewelry, bags and spa service. The first family will get filthy rich exploiting the President's position. 
• All the idiotic things Infowars founder Alex Jones has said over the years is about to cost him custody of his children in a trial going on in Austin. 
• Pete Sessions will get an opponent in next year's election who is a former NFL player and current civil rights lawyer (assuming he wins the Democratic primary.) Note: Hillary beat Trump in Sessions' district last year. 
• Last night in "Tucker Carlson Dumb Face". Buddy, close your mouth:
  
• If key members of Congress condition Tax Reform on Trump releasing his tax returns, there will be no Tax Reform. He won't do it. 
• Reports are surfacing the Fox News is about to cut ties with Bill O'Reilly. Told ya. 

It's Over

Story.

Random Tuesday Morning Thoughts

• Someone streamed together Trump's campaign promises to never golf as President because he would be working too hard. I especially loved, "If you're in the White House, why would you ever want to leave the White House?"  
• I always seem to spend a little bit of time watching part of The Ten Commandments on Easter weekend, but there's no way I'm watching a marathon movie interrupted every 10 minutes with commercials. However, I did decide that Pharaoh's outfit is pretty spiffy:
  
• When did the original Frilly's in Decatur close? 
• CNBC doing comedy with the "(left)" in the graphic. 
  
• Fort Worth PD now has dirt bikes. Yep, dirt bikes.
  
  
• A car dealership and a sponsoring radio station apparently has never heard about the lawsuit arising from Hands On A Hardbody. 
  
• No matter when I blow by Tucker Carlson and no matter who he is interviewing, I'm guaranteed to see "Dumb Face" that rivals that of Eli Manning: 

  

  Side note: Watch this girl destroy him. 

  
  
• 
  
• Rich Little is making the rounds today on radio shows promoting a gig in Arlington. He was an impersonator who had his hey day back when I was a little kid. I've I always thought he was average at best, and always projected a persona of "Well, here's Rich Little trying to impersonate someone but it's more Rich Little than anything else." (I was curious how much ticket costs since I figured sales were lagging, but got sidetracked when the website showed there were only two rows left where seats were available. There is no way that is true. He wouldn't be doing radio promotions if it were.)
• I got a call yesterday informing me that people placed on Pre-Trial Diversion in Wise County are required by the probation department to sign an amendment that prevents them from voting during the probation even though they are legally eligible to vote. I'm trying to confirm this. If true, I bet this comes as a huge surprise to every prosecutor and judge in the courthouse. And I bet that practice will end today. Edit: I received a quick call from the head of probation to me saying, "Not true." And he appears to be right. All probationers are provided a form of potential collateral consequences but it is not a signed amendment to the terms and conditions of probation. I'm getting a copy of the form and will link it here later. Edit: Here is what they are given at probation. I now question my source's ability to read. 
• Wired.com needs to work on it's ad placement:
  
• The NFL Draft is coming up, and as the years go by I find it more and more unfair every year. A player will be chosen by a team, and he won't have any voice as to who it will be. Then he will paid a preset amount (way below market value) because the NFL wanted it that way. Before the current salary structure was put into place, the #1 pick in the draft in 2010, Sam Bradford, signed a six year $78 million contract with $50 million guaranteed. Last year the #1 pick was paid a $28 million four year deal with $18.6 guaranteed. You think the NFL is making more now or in 2010? As a recent SI article said, "The NFL sure does love money."
• Do I have this right?: Decatur ISD, Bridgeport ISD and Paradise ISD are all looking for a superintendent? 

Easter Bunny Violence

BAH GAWD HE'S BROKEN IN HALF! pic.twitter.com/MVgQzfkvbT

— Washington Nationals (@Nationals) April 16, 2017

The Time The Feds Came To Wise County To Crush Incompetence

Link.

It was federal overkill to thwart a plan by a bunch of goofballs that could never pull it off. Maybe the best part are quotes from former Sheriff Phil Ryan.

Pray For This Young Man. He Might Be Dead.

I know I'm not supposed to laugh...but... pic.twitter.com/TzzQDAA3wU

— Matt Lisle (@CoachLisle) April 15, 2017

Random Monday Morning Thoughts

• The guy shooting the elderly man on the sidewalk for no reason and deciding to broadcast it on Facebook Live is sickening. Society is getting weird. Broadcasting crimes, and it is happening more and more, is right out a horror movie from twenty years ago which we wouldn't believe would actually happen. 
• Baylor, long criticized for the cream puff non-conference schedule, will play a home and home with Oregon. The bad news is that it doesn't start until 2027. Who knows what the teams will be like by then. 
• Very very obscure college baseball stat: Albany University played it's first 25 games on the road. That number would have been 34 but nine games were postponed or cancelled. I have no idea why. 
• There is a huge Separation of Church and State case to be heard at the Supreme Court on Wednesday. It centers around whether a church school should be excluded from state grants in Missouri to make playgrounds safer (and indirectly could impact the concept of school vouchers.) The church had sued.  A huge wrench was thrown into the case on Friday when the governor said, "Ok, we'll give the grants to churches." The Supreme Court, seeing the news, surprisingly asked all parties to submit emergency responses by Tuesday as to whether that makes the case moot. 
• I pointed out that a cop got fired for kicking a handcuffed man in the head. I didn't realize that another officer got fired for viciously punching the same guy in the head at the beginning of the traffic stop. 
• The White House announced that visitors logs will not be released as they had been under President Obama did. Flashback: 
  
• I stole this from a tweet by a Congressman: "The same WH that just agreed to sell your browsing history won't disclose visits to WH to protect privacy of lobbyists. Swamp wins again." That "Drain The Swamp" chant does seem ridiculous now. 
• I didn't realize that Trump only won Texas by 8 points. And let us never forget Trump won Wise County by 69 points.
• Tragedy at a rotating restaurant: "ATLANTA - A 5-year-old boy died from a head injury after he was caught in the rotator wall at the Sun Dial restaurant on the 72nd floor of the Westin Peachtree Plaza in Atlanta on Friday, officials said." I'm never a fan of civil lawsuits, but there is no way that should be able to happen. 
• "The Secret Service has spent more than $35,000 on golf cart rentals at President Trump's Mar-a-Lago resort since his inauguration, CBS News reported Friday, as Trump begins another weekend in Florida." And I guess that taxpayer money is paid to the Trump resort. You would that Trump would just comp them.
• More horrible child news. Former Ravens tight end Todd Heap accidentally ran over his three year old child while backing out of his driveway.  I cannot imagine. 
  
• UT coach Tom Herman said the offenses would be "vanilla" in the Spring Game. The first play was a direct snap to a wide receiver who then launched a pass. Why? (Other than that, UT looked pretty good.) 
• There were a ton of protests this weekend demanding Trump release his taxes.  Flashback to 2014: "If I decide to run for office, I'll produce my tax returns, absolutely." - Donald Trump. 4 
• And those protests really hurt Trump's feelings. From yesterday:
  
• While Muslims get on there knees and kneel towards Mecca everyday, this was seen in San Antonio on Saturday on the most holiest of Christian weekends. 
• 
• Still get stunned by the casualty count from World War II  every time I see them. U.S.: 419,400 Soviet Union: 20,000,000 (and that might be a low estimate according to historians. Some put it at 26,000,000.)
• Donald Jr. has less game than his dad. And that's saying something.
  
• A Dallas area guy bid $330 on a "storage auction" (for anything in an abandoned storage unit) and discovered he now owns every edition of Sports Illustrated. And every issue is in mint condition. Heritage Auction thinks the collection is worth at least $50,000.
  
• Hurricane names for 2017:
  
• The oldest woman in the world died at the age of 117. That means everyone born in the 1800s is dead.