Above The Fold

It's Friday. Let's Get Out Of Here.

And he thinks he should have won

"Father of the Year"

 Horrible execution. Very quick and cool recovery.

 "This will work! I saw Evel Knievel jump at Caesars Palace on TV!"

 The kid survived this one, but there's no way he is still with us. 

To paraphrase Uncle Rico, "Bubba took a little spill at the shop today. Broke his coccyx." 

The Calmest Robbery Victim In The History Of Ever

And his shot, that is the clerk's, was not phased either. (See 1:15)

Fyre Festival

The headliner was Blink 182. They cancelled. In fact, the entire festival was cancelled yesterday after the crowd was already arriving. Current status:

Photos. (With commentary)

Edit: Ja Rule weighs in ...

Random Friday Morning Thoughts

• Fox News' Jesse Waters, after making the sexually suggestive comment about Ivanka Trump, has announced that he will be taking a "vacation."  That's what Bill O'Reilly announced before he fell into the abyss to never return.
• In Waco, a criminal trial was disrupted when one of the jurors couldn't make it to court. The reason? The juror was in jail in another county on weed and controlled substance charges. Legal nerd stuff: Oddly, the case is proceeding with 11 jurors which can only occur with consent of the parties (why would the defendant consent?) or if a juror is disabled (and this doesn't seem to qualify as "disabled".)
• The guy who got dragged off United plane by security settled with United yesterday for an undisclosed amount. Mark Davis on the radio this morning guessed it was for $5 million. That's stupid. A good standard for personal injury suits is to ask yourself: How much would you be willing to accept in order to go through what the Plaintiff went through? (And that's when liability is clear. Heck, in this case, United didn't hurt him. Security did. And it's possible a jury would think it was 100% his fault for not obeying orders.)
• TCU football had a home and home scheduled with Ohio State. That's cool because Ohio State would come to Fort Worth. Well, no more. They've changed it to just one game at Jerry World in 2018. (And get this home and home announced by TCU with Purdue. One game will be in 2019. The other will be in 2029.)
• Being in the U.S. illegally ("unlawful presence") is not a criminal offense. That person might be violating U.S. law, but they are not violating U.S. criminal law. 
• NFL Draft thoughts: (1) That crowd in Philadelphia was massive. Estimates were at 70,000, and I believe it. The NFL claims 100,000. (2) Thanks, Dallas. I've been beaten down with "Taco" jokes all morning. (3) Why did the #1 pick Myles Garrett, at his home in Arlington, have the player's union banner behind him? (4) Chicago traded way too much to move up one pick in order to select a guy who will probably be a spare. (5) The most fascinating pick was be Tech's Pat Mahomes who the Chiefs traded up to get. I liked it.  (6) Watch a first round pick cuss on live TV. That man is intense. A little unhinged, but intense.
• 
• Richard "Racehorse" Haynes, who famously defended Cullen Davis, has died. (He represented someone from Boyd in the early 1980s on a tax evasion charge in federal court in Dallas.)
  
• "There's a chance that we could end up having a major, major conflict with North Korea, absolutely." - Trump told he president Reuters.  The scary part is that I think he wants it.
• Nutcase Alex Jones lost his child custody case.
• Overthinking the Update: "BOARD COMMITS TO RAISES – Alvord trustees Thursday committed $120,000 to pay for raising the median pay for all district employees." What does "rais[e] the median pay for all employees" mean? "Median" means to line up all employee salaries from smallest to largest and then find the number that is right in the middle. That is, if you have 100 employees, you rank the pay, and find what the salary is for #50 which would be the "median pay for all employees." You could probably "raise the median pay for all employees" by manipulating three or four salaries.

With the 28th Pick, The Cowboys Take . . .

Anyone need a QB? The #1 pick in the WNBA draft, Kelsey Plum, has a CANNON (via @SAStars) pic.twitter.com/Kk2KcyMifq

— Bleacher Report (@BleacherReport) April 26, 2017

She can throw that t-shirt clear over them there mountains. And she's not bad on the eyes.

Scoring, passing... and quarterback skills, @kelseyplum10?! 💪

A post shared by wnba (@wnba) on Apr 26, 2017 at 9:31am PDT

Bill To Name Highway After Convicted Murderer of DPS Trooper

Rep. Phil Stephenson wanted to name a stretch of freeway in Jackson County, near Houston, after Bill Davidson, a state trooper who was killed on duty in 1992. Instead, he filed a bill that would have created the Ronald Ray Howard Memorial Highway. Howard was sentenced to death for shooting Davidson in the neck, and he died by lethal injection in 2005.

He tried to correct it by filing a new bill, but he screwed up the name again.

Story.

Random Thursday Morning Thoughts

• Trump's tax plan was rolled out by two former Goldman Sach's guys who kept promising us we'll get the details later. That seems to be a recurring theme.
• The raising of the standard deduction for couples to $24,000 seems like a big deal for the common man. But the housing industry didn't like it. One incentive to buy a home is the mortgage interest deduction. But if your total itemized deductions, even with the mortgage deduction, doesn't crack $24,000, the mortgage interest deduction doesn't matter. You just take the standard deduction instead.
• Good for the wealthy: Corporate tax rate of 15%, and the elimination of the estate tax.
• And Another (Texas): 
  
• And Another who was found not guilty by a judge yesterday (Lousiana):
  
• The Texas House, in their late-into-the-night debate last night on Sanctuary Cities, approved an amendment allowing officers to ask a person legally detained about their immigration status. That law is probably unconstitutional because the Supreme Court has made is specifically clear that all actions during a detention must be limited to the purpose of the detention. Asking about a person's immigration status is unrelated to, say, a detention for a traffic violation. (And DPS has already been accused of violating that leading Supreme Court opinion in the context of handling illegal immigrants during traffic stops.)
• The feds raided TV preacher Benny Hinn's offices in Grapevine yesterday. Hey, I think most of the TV guys are modern day snake oil salesmen of The Feel Good Gospel (Joel Osteen, Robert Jeffress, Ed Young, etc.), but I get real uncomfortable when I see the government raiding a church. They better have a good reason. 
• Random Sports Observation: In the ten school Big 12, only seven schools have women's softball programs.  West Virginia, Kansas State, and (amazingly) TCU do not.
• Trump softens on NAFTA. Let me guess, we'll get the details later.
  
• DeMarcus Ware "retired as a Cowboy this week". Hot sports opinion: Charles Haley ᐳ DeMarcus Ware, and it isn't even close. 
• The Star-Telegram is working blue this morning on its home page. (And this isn't even a local story. It's out of Florida.):
  
  
  
  
• The NFL Draft is tonight, and The Ticket said this morning there used to not be a time limit on the teams to make their pick. As proof, they said Dallas once took six hours to evaluate the health of Mel Renfro before taking him. It seems to be true. What a beating. 
• A Morning News letter to the editor -- Preach on, bruther! cc: Pete Delkus:
  
• One of the funniest bits I had seen in a while were two "fake strongmen" who conned their way onto a morning local TV show. They are now being sued.

Azle Should Be In Wise County

ICYMI: A woman in Azle said her camel had fallen into her swimming pool and couldn't seem to get out. https://t.co/097b75sDXn pic.twitter.com/jP5lvexxiv

— NBC DFW (@NBCDFW) April 26, 2017

Baseball Play Of The Night

YOOOO pic.twitter.com/kJN8vX4FFC

— nick (@nick_pants) April 26, 2017

Above The Fold

Random Wednesday Morning Thoughts

• "MILWAUKEE — Milwaukee County Jail staff cut off an inmate's access to water for seven days straight before he died of dehydration, and the man was too mentally unstable to ask for help as he slowly died, prosecutors said Monday at the beginning of an inquest." Let's not mince words: Sheriff Clarke's staff murdered a man. 
  
• I haven't had a boss since 1992. That's the good news. The bad news is I'm harder on myself than any boss I ever had. 
• "WATCH: Jesse Watters on Fox News re Ivanka Trump: 'I really like how she was speaking into that microphone"' That was on the new prime time edition of The Five.  The men on that network will never learn. 
• Groundhog Day: Motorcycle death in Arlington, Fort Worth officer shoots and kills a guy, and the Rangers can't hit. 
• Trump is backing off having funding for The Wall in the spending bill which is needed by Friday to keep the government open.  One thing is clear: That wall will never be built. 
• Ted Cruz has joined the cast of Idiocracy: 
  
• Rumors abound that ESPN is going to layoff somewhere between 60 and 100 people today. Edit: Wow. The first one to just confirm he has been fired is long time national NFL reporter Ed Werder. Edit: They fired Jean-Jacques Taylor.
• First the Fort Worth PD acquired dirt bikes, now Wise County EMS is purchasing three ATVs.
• I somehow stumbled upon and Abbott and Costello movie last weekend. In it there was a scene of a young woman who just happened to be African-America breaking out into song on a bus. She was really, really good so I checked into it. Her name: Ella Fitzgerald. It was her first screen appearance. 
• If I'm the coach in Desoto, I make it secretly known to every 6A powerhouse that I'd be interested in their head coaching job if there is an opening. And if I'm a Superintendent of a 6A powerhouse who is thinking about firing their coach, I contact the Desoto coach. (Is all that legal? There aren't UIL "tampering" rules are there?)

Tram v. Car: Who Ya Got

That Tram driver pretty much had the attitude, "Well, I just ran over another car."

And maybe there's a reason for that:

"Real Lawyers Of The State Of Texas"

This is a crazy story. Be sure to follow the "Above the Law" link in the article, and be sure to check out the comments in this Texas Lawyer story where the attorney enters the fray. Trust me, after you do a little research, those comments are exactly want he would do.

Edit: This article from the Victoria Advocate is a good summary as well.

Random Tuesday Morning Thoughts

• The State Department basically produced a paid ad at taxpayer expense for Mara-a-Lago yesterday and then immediately took it down. 
• In the Travel Section of the Dallas Morning News on Sunday. It was very detailed.: 
  
  
  
• A crossing guard in Hunt County was hit and killed by a vehicle about a month ago. Police wouldn't say who did it. The school wouldn't say who did it. Once the press started investigating, the police finally admitted who the driver was: The Hunt County DA.
• There is something bizarre going on in Desoto ISD. Their head coach was hired two years ago and placed on routine new-hire probation for two years. His first year, he went 6-6. His second year he went 16-0 and won the school's only state championship. As required, the school board had to vote as to whether or not to retain him last night since his probationary period was ending. No brainer, right? News started circulating that 4 of the 7 school board members would vote "no" causing tons of people and media to rush to the school board meeting last night. Why not retain him? No scandal. No fraud. No cheating. The only crazy rumor out there is that the coach is white and the district is 80% African-American. In the end, the school board backed down and took no action. Football players decided to pray about it when the board was in executive session.
  
• Yesterday I mentioned the Tarrant County DA's office win/loss record in misdemeanor trials for the week.  A faithful reader pointed out a Fort Worth law firm who got the results for two years for felony cases. The results: Of 316 cases tried, a guilty verdict was returned in 75.3%.
• The owner of Jimmy John's has a long history of killing majestic animals. I'll never go there again. Examples and more examples. 
• The City of New Orleans is taking down various Confederate Monuments. The inscription on at least one of them did not help the "Don't Remove History!" crowd.
  
  
• I thought I had remembered Jack Nicklaus saying in the late 1990s that Tiger Woods back would never hold up. Turns out the claim wasn't bold. Another faithful reader found it  (Source: Tim Rosaforte's 1997 book on Woods.)
  
   
• I don't care about this news, but I suspect a lot of Wise County will: Dale Jr. will retire after this season. This won't help the plummeting NASCAR ratings. 
• After seeing that American Airlines passenger confrontation video a hundred times, something occurred to me: The pilot or co-pilot in the background, who is in charge of the plane, sure does stand around like a dope during the whole ordeal. 
• If you can find BBC America, check out Planet Earth II.  (That show shot the footage of the critter running from a bunch of snakes on some kind of Snake Island.)
• BagOfNothing is losing it. His last bullet point today suggests Trump should invade and go to war with North Korea in order to help his re-election chances. At least that's what he would suggest if he were a political consultant. (Hiccup side effect?)

"I Don't Think That's Correct"

Dallas Police say wind caused crane to tip over in downtown Dallas, killing 1 of 2 workers operating it. They were working on cell tower. pic.twitter.com/amdWLVolpw

— Allison Harris (@allisonfox4news) April 24, 2017

This isn't a windy day. And look at some of the wind speeds in Dallas shortly after the accident. That's not knocking over a crane.

A Perfect Game In 86.9 Seconds?

I think it is legit.

(You can skip to the 56 mark for the action.)

Edit: It looks like the real world record is here.

Random Monday Morning Thoughts

• The Tarrant County DA's misdemeanor section went 4-4-1 (the "1" was a mistrial) last week with one case still ongoing. Crappy cases need to be killed at intake. But if they are filed, misdemeanor prosecutors need the discretion to cut a deal instead of being told, "No, just got try it and see what happens." (The absolute most reckless and dangerous attitude any prosecutor can have and a guaranteed sign they don't care about justice.) Note: The DA's office always post their ongoing trials here but it is reset every week -- I don't think they archive the results online.
• Former OU running back Joe Mixon and the student he cold-cocked reach a civil settlement last week less than one week before the NFL draft. In an unusual move, they issued a joint statement where the victim praised Mixon and basically said he was a "swell guy." That was so transparent. Her lawyer said, "Look, Mr. Mixon lawyer, the draft is coming up and your guy's stock is plummeting. Give me [$xxx] as a settlement and we'll issue a great joint statement, and his draft value might rise so much that he may recoup the settlement amount immediately."
• The Dallas cop who was fired after he ran over a guy on a bicycle was found not guilty late last week. It's hard to convict an officer. 
• We had another airline passenger/crew incident -- this time on American Airlines. Here's a suggestion: Everyone calm down!  Flight attendant: Calm down. Mr. "I'll knock you flat" Passenger: Calm down. And even momma holding the baby: Get it together. 
• You'll hear the Secretary of State or Defense Secretary say, "All options are on the table" when dealing with Syria and North Korea. When are all options not on the table with any country? 
• After 100 days, Trump has won the distinction of having the lowest approval rating per the Gallup poll in the the history of the Gallup polls.  (The NBC/WSJ poll has him at 40%. Fox News has him at 43%)
  
• The Rangers released Josh Hamilton, and it appears he is done.  The Angels gave him a 5 year contract worth  $125 million in 2012. They got one and half years of work. He is in year five right now and still being paid even though the Angels got rid of him after year two.
• The New York Times reported over the the weekend that Fox News' Sean Hannity gives advice and counsel to Trump. (Once again, we are all going to die.) Anyway, Hannity had a paranoid response: 
  
• I didn't know Hannity, champion of Family Values, went to the Bunny Ranch one time.
  
• This is a big week for Republicans. (1) They promised Tax Reform within 100 days, but will allegedly only announce the plan this week, (2) the White House shockingly said there would be a vote on Repeal and Replace this week (it won't happen and that was an insane assertion) , and, (3) A government shutdown could happen on Friday. The shutdown might occur if Trump is presented a funding bill that does not include funding for The Wall so, as a consequence, he won't sign it. (Don't worry about that "Mexico is going to pay for it" thing.) 
• Erin Moran, Joanie from Happy Days, died over the weekend. I didn't know she had her home in California foreclosed on a few years back and was living in a trailer in Indiana. 
• The Waco DA's office continues to kick the Twin Peaks Biker cases on down the road. They now say that can't try any of the cases because the Feds have a case pending against one of the biker gangs. That's nothing but an excuse. Oh, and you want to know how much this fiasco has cost the taxpayers? The county has spent $208,239, and the federal government has kicked in $268,527 to the city of Waco and $248,941 to the county to cover other expenses. And not a single trial or plea after almost two years. 
• Random college sports note: In lacrosse, the men wear helmets. Women do not.