It's Friday. Let's Get Out Of Here.

 Baylor's last two years in a nutshell.

 Opiod epidemic. (No comedy. That's what is actually going on here.)

 Quality comedy, sir.

 When Mrs. LL wakes me up.

 "Once there was this kid who got into an accident and couldn't come to school."

(If you saw what I did there, we could be best friends.)

Well, I know what my nightmare will be about tonight.

Let's Jump Into The History Machine

That boy ain't right.

Random Friday Morning Thoughts

• It's looking more and more like the Texas Border Patrol agent died as the result of an accident instead of being attacked. 
• The Aggies are rumored to have offered Jimbo Fisher $7 million to lure him away from Florida State. I've said this before: Everyone went crazy in 1982 when the Aggies paid Jackie Sherrill $280,000 a year making him the highest paid university employee in the entire country. 
• I didn't know about this, but years ago Deadspin ran a piece from the Dallas Observer written by a Star-Telegram female sports reporter who had a tough job.
  
  
• Joe Barton, wisely, has decided not to run for re-election. Speaking of the Observer, I'll credit a friend I've never met pointing out they dug deep to find this photo in its archives. And you truly wonder what he is looking at. 
  
• Jim Nabors died yesterday. Man, Sargent Carter yelled at him a lot. 
• And another (Houston): 
  
• Pre-Mature Candidacy: He later backed off once he learned that the media had screwed up the report via a Pre-Mature Announcement of her resignation. (He's Fox 4 News contributor and, actually, pretty good. He's also a former cop and now a defense lawyer. He'd probably be a great Sheriff if he doesn't start wearing a cowboy hat.)  Side note: Is he right about the way the election would have been handled? If the Sheriff were to resign there would be an election in March? I thought it would be a Commissioners' Court appointment to fill the remainder of her term
  
• Who even approved this to start with? 
  
• Fight! Fight! Fight! (And Kimmel's monologue last night, was epic:“So if you are challenging me to a fight, here’s what we’ll do. Let’s find a place to do it. I’ll wear a Girl Scout uniform so you can have something to get excited about.” )
  
• According to the Update, a guy facing up to 20 years in prison for Agg Assault pled to 16 years in Wise County. Am I missing something? 
• Mrs. LL was in charge of showing a video to an elementary school today. She chose Charlie Brown's Christmas. She watched it last night and said, "There's no way I can show this." I'm not sure I've ever been prouder. Someone who actually understands the separation of Church and State. (It's a very diverse metroplex school and she would have been crucified -- pardon the pun --  afterwards.)
• Edit regarding the above: Do those who have rushed to comment not understand that as a government employee that she represents the government? Do you not understand the government cannot advocate one religion over another? Do you not know of Linus' speech? What if she wanted to show Charlie Brown's Ramadan? As I've said before, I've got the smartest and dumbest readers in the world.
• Remember the illegal immigrant who allegedly shot and killed a lady on a pier in San Francisco in 2015? Well, he was found not guilty on all charges yesterday.  Not guilty of murder. Not guilty of involuntary manslaughter. And he had a public defender. 
• A Texas Sheriff says he will no longer hug. Good idea, buddy.
  
• Breaking News! The dominoes have begun to fall. He has absolutely cut a plea deal to turn on the Trump Mafia. He actually led a "Lock her up!" chant at the Republican National Convention. Delicious. 
  
• Never forget: 
  
• I find it stunning that Dez Bryant is now the all-time Cowboys receiver in TDs. I'm also stunned that the leader had been Bob Hayes. I would have guessed Irvin. 

Oops

Police dashcam video captures officer being accidentally tased by his colleague during an arrest in Riverside, Ohio. https://t.co/MHyR5dlc0N pic.twitter.com/GOyctVRyYt

— Good Morning America (@GMA) November 30, 2017

Cue The "Jaws" Theme

Drone footage captures tiger shark coming close to swimmers off Miami Beach over Thanksgiving weekend. https://t.co/IM7VUtdtZV pic.twitter.com/Wx9D0qZWkd

— ABC News (@ABC) November 30, 2017

Random Thursday Morning Thoughts

• There was a bicyclist killed in the metroplex by a guy who was allegedly DWI. One of the odd things about it was that the cyclist was riding in the middle of the night. His wife said it wasn't unusual since he worked the night shift and he was up most nights even when not working the next day. And, what I think would be a dangerous journey, he would cycle 16 miles to work at UT Dallas from Wylie. At night.
• I fascinated by what my life would be like if I worked the "night shift." (And, side note, Night Shift is one of my all time favorite movies.)
  
• I clicked on it because I wanted to see if he was a bandit. He is. He wants $20 for that. 
  
• In all seriousness, how is Jeffress any different from the money changers that made Jesus go on a rampage? 
• Mark Davis vaguely admitting past indiscretions on Wednesday as he pointed out that he isn't "throwing stones" at any of the people being caught up in sexual scandals in recent days. I dog him all the time, but I'll finally give him credit. 
• At the U.N. Security Council table, Russia's nameplate reads "Russian Federation." That's very Star Trek like.
• Trump was especially weird yesterday morning misleading the public with a retweet of a radical right winger Brit's post of a video of "Muslim" violence. It was actually ISIS (or possibly even fake). Trump's press secretary excused the mistake by going full Orwellian: "Whether it is a real video, the threat is real." The truth, apparently, no longer matters.
• And when Trump received criticism, he continued to show he will fire from the hip without fact checking:
  
• Both The Dallas Morning News and KXAS reported yesterday that Dallas Sheriff Lupe Valdez had resigned to run for governor. She hadn't. (Side note: That would be the worst political decision ever.)
• Good lord, Matt! (Credit: BagOfNothing):
  
• The University of Tennessee can't find anyone who wants to be the head football coach. 
• At the courthouse yesterday, I learned that an investigator was boycotting the NFL because of the anthem protests as well as the husband of a very high ranking and super powerful office administrator. 
• Also a funny moment at the courthouse: A gal tells me she is buying her daughter a frozen sled. I had a very confused look on my face. Another lady says, "There is no way he understands." Then I hear, "Not a frozen sled. A movie Frozen sled!"
  
• Criminal defense lawyers only: I was watching a video of Advanced Criminal Law 2017. A lot of the speakers are spares but one who was fantastic was  David Guinn, Jr. out of Lubbock. His advice, paraphrased, don't worry about the "facts" in the police report -- the video is all that matters. And he is dead on. He also played a video of police interaction with one of his clients during a traffic stop to emphasize what is wrong and what's right. He started it with, "I'm not just going to stand up here and cite a bunch of cases. You can all read the seminar paper. Especially at an Advanced course. Let's do something you can actually use."
• There's not a a guy out there who has brain who has not re-examined his life over the last two weeks and asked himself, "Have I ever done anything that could be considered inappropriate and non-consensual?"
• Ticket fans only: I was in the front yard jacking around, in a frustrated fashion, with the lights when Mrs. LL pulled up. As she got out of the car, I said (jokingly), "I've got enough on my mind right now, I don't need your . . . ." Her response: "I pressed the bar!!!!!"  (Audio of what we re-created which may be one of my favorite audio segments of all time.)

Matt Lauer And The Today Show Did Workplace Sexual Harassment Bits

Throwback to 2012 when Matt Lauer was the “real victim” of sexual harassment on the Today show 🤔 pic.twitter.com/mYdnhEV2wv

— The Daily Show (@TheDailyShow) November 29, 2017

Not so funny now, huh?

Side note: Word is that The New York Times has been working on the Lauer story for quite some time, and NBC decided to get out in front of it. That makes sense as to how this happened so fast.

Edit: It's not the Times. It is Variety. And it is shocking.

"He [Allegedly] Got Weed! He [Allegedly] Got Weed!"

Source.

"MARIJUANA ARREST EARLY THIS MORNING ON Highway 287 N. of Pioneer RD. A traffic stop, by Officer Brown [of the Rhome Police Department], for speeding resulted in an arrest for [allegedly] transporting 42 lbs. of marijuana valued at $150,000.The arrested person, Bradley Jackson, 26, of Baton Rouge LA, was [allegedly] hauling the marijuana from California to Louisiana.

Bradley Jackson [allegedly] admitted to being courier for large distribution network.

His bond is set at $15,000.00"

(Here's the "He got weed" reference.)

Oh, My

Here is a (now very awkward) segment of a pants-less Matt Lauer exposing himself to four NBC women, saying "Drink it in ladies!" 
One of them asks "Again Matt?"
Savannah Guthrie tells Lauer "Stop it. You're making me lactate." pic.twitter.com/tuLtro5etE

— Benny (@bennyjohnson) November 29, 2017

Above The Fold

Random Wednesday Morning Thoughts

• It's been a long time since I've done a double take at my computer screen as I did at around 7:00 a.m. this morning: NBC has fired Matt Lauer for sexual misconduct. And they got rid of him at the speed of light. He made $28 million a year.
  
• Of course, the "Grab 'Em By The P" Guy had to weigh in this morning. Incredible.: 
• 
• He certainly will never be recognized.
• 
• Four hunters in Dallas County ended up lost and stranded because they were chasing a pig. #ModernDayTexas
• Let's see where we stand as the year comes to an end. A Republican president. A Republican Senate. A Republican House. And we still have Obamacare. No tax law change. No wall. And indictments coming. This is going very well. 
• Good, lord!: 
  
• Tarrant County GOP leaders don't want Joe Barton to run for re-election. I hope he doesn't because I don't want to think about that picture ever again. 
• North Korea launched another test missile. Trump said, in his normal vague fashion, "We will take care of it." 
• My brother-in-law on Mrs. LL's side picked up a guitar last weekend and played the beginning to Classical Gas flawlessly. It was enough to make get out of my chair and go watch. 
• As I get older, I'm stunned by my recognition of how naive I was as a young man and a young lawyer. I watched and read The Firm years ago and thought, "That's a good drama. Not great but good." Now I watch it and think, "This crap actually does happen."
• I began my Clark Griswald Christmas Decoration Yard Project last night. 
• My first UTEP basketball post: Last night, after the team lost, their coach quit and announced it in his post game press conference.
• Trump, for some reason, this morning retweeted a video of "Muslim Destroys Statue of Virgin Mary!"
• The Goofy Texas Supreme Court judge claims he performed the Heimlich maneuver on a man at a Chick-fil-A . Before it, he said, "[I was] hunched over my MacBook, munching some Chick-fil-A chicken strips while discussing errands with my wife on my cell.” He's a Renaissance Man! And the fact this allegedly happened at a Chick-fil-A is a nice touch.

Let's Check In On A Couple Of Girls In Australia

Wait for it... The terrifying moment a young tourist was attacked by a crocodile in #FNQ was captured on video by her friend. 🐊🐊🐊 #Cairns https://t.co/1If59Ojou4 pic.twitter.com/bqHB9B8zof

— Cairns Post (@TheCairnsPost) November 28, 2017

Although I think the description should be "almost attacked" and not "attacked."

Mrs. LL and I Did The Dallas Version Of Trail Of Tears

We recreated Oswald's journey through Oak Cliff on the anniversary of the assassination last week.

We started at his Rooming House. It was basically a "private property" but "call us to set up an appointment" type of deal. As we were walking away, a tour bus pulled up in the driveway and a bunch of people got out to look at it. I suspect they have cut a deal.

The next stop was where Officer Tippet was shot. Let me tell you, we drove it and that would be no short walk. A guy from house across the street came out to talk to us. It's apparently his bit. Nice guy.

He actually pointed out an X that had been painted where the shooting occurred.

One thing odd is that the guy said Oswald was walking West down that street. If he took the most direct route he would have been walking East. The guy might be wrong. The crime scene photos show the officer's car facing East (I think) and I had thought Tippet pulled up right along side Oswald as he was walking.

This was our view facing that direction.The "X" was by the black pickup.

Our next stop was the Texas Theater. It was fascinating. Here is a shot from the screen.

See that little white thing on the seat near the back? This is the sparest marker ever to note the seat Oswald was in when he was captured. (I could have sworn I heard that the seat had been re-upholstered black.)

One cool thing that the Texas Theater was doing that day was showing "War Is Hell", the film that was showing at the moment of the arrest. And they charged 90 cents -- the same price as charged on that day.

Mrs. LL wanted to see a little bit of it so we did. Not a bad little flick. But we were a little unnerved when we discovered before the film started that a guy came in and sat down in the chair!!! We were on high alert.

As we walked out of the theater, there was some guy holding court. He was telling a group of about seven that there were actually "Two Oswalds" in the theater that day. One was a patsy and the real killer got away. Trust me, I was biting my tongue. Then he said, "Let's go." And they all got into his SUV. Yep, he was a Conspiracy Tour Guide. One elderly lady had  noticed my fascination with the whole thing and as she walked to the SUV, smiled and said, "You want to ride on the roof?"

And that concludes the Dallas Trail of Tears. (Side note: The Ticket's Gordon Keith coined the phrase Dallas Trail of Tears about a decade ago.)

Random Tuesday Morning Thoughts

• They played it on The Ticket this morning, but I can't find it to save my life: William Paul Dodd, the guy who was shot by police in the Arlington Mall, called 911 at some point before the incident. It starts of with him trying to explain, in the most Wheels Off slurred voice ever, that he had evaded arrest from the police the day before. Once the dispatcher figured out what he was trying to say, Dodd asks, "Have you heard about that?" Yes, buddy, dispatch knows of all alleged crimes that have just occurred. 
• We've got the dumbest Ag Commissioner in the history of Ag Commissioners. He posted an article that simply is not true. And a president can't "remove" a federal judge. That, my friends, is what "Fake News" means. And the Ag Commissioner should be smart enough to spot it. 
  
• Jimmy Blacklock, with no judicial experience, will be appointed by Gov. Abbott to the Goofy Tweeting Judge's Texas Supreme Court seat once the latter gets confirmed for the Fifth Circuit. He'll get $168,000 of your money, plus benefits, for a job he has no experience to have. He was "general counsel" for Abbott. Does Texas have swamps?
• A woman approached The Washington Post falsely claiming Roy Moore impregnated her as a teenager. It was a lie and part of a sting operation in an effort to get the paper to print the story Nutcase James O’Keefe was behind the effort so he could claim the paper was "Fake News".  However, the Post, checking her story out, sniffed it out an busted her. And him. Hard. 
• O'Keefe is indeed a nutcase. At the last election he followed a bus taking Democratic voters to the polls, filmed it, and proclaimed "Voter fraud!"  The action was 100% legal.
• But he's getting rich off his little organization.
  
  
• Old timers trivia: What did "Be kind. Rewind." mean? I know, but I heard it for the first time in 20 years yesterday. 
• Speaking of old, this is what the DFW TV schedule looked like in November, 1976. Those were your choices. (However, it was a Monday schedule and for some reason Monday Night Football does not appear on Channel 8.)
  
• UT's best player, offensive lineman Connor Williams, has announced he won't play in the Longhorns bowl game and will enter the NFL Draft. I don't have any problem with that. If it was a National Championship game he was balking at, I'd feel differently. But, if I'm him, I think I'd protect my ACLs from a meaningless bowl game.
• A commentor pointed out the other day that he thought it was strange that Gov. Abbott personally opened a package that could have injured him if it had not malfunctioned. I do to. There is no way the governor is opening a package -- I don't care if it looks 100% like it came from Amazon. We may have an exaggerated story on our hands, and the governor refused to answer questions about the incident yesterday. Edit: Just saw that BagOfNothing.com thinks the same thing. 
• The Plano ISD Superintendent will announce his resignation and no one knows why. I really don't care about Plano ISD but a resignation of such a high profile position mid-school year is weird. 
• The Chico library was burglarized but it was not released what was taken. If they have DVDs, I'm guessing it was DVDs. Those are currency.