4.14.2018

I'll Never Not Love This



I can name almost every movie except for three or four.

at 12:00 PM

Above The Fold


Full page PDF.
at 6:06 AM

4.13.2018

It's Friday. Let's Get Out Of Here.

"You will respect my authority!"
I'm getting old because I'm more fascinated by the surfing behind a boat than anything else.
Get me this . . . well, you know.
I'm so confused.

As we all learned from The Breakfast Club, if you mess with bull you get the horns. 
The husband filming this was smirking and thinking, "I know what's coming."
at 2:00 PM

He Be Gone

Good riddance.

Hey, what kind of car does he drive?

Edit: He be mad. Please sign with the Redskins, Eagles or Giants to make the NFL at least remotely interesting for me.

at 12:29 PM

Random Friday Morning Thoughts

  • Today, of all days, there seems like a serious fire danger for North Texas. 
  • I heard a reference to Wise County's "Hippy Ridge" this week. I have not thought about that place in years. 
  • The Batman TV series was comedic genius. In this scene depicted below, ice melting slowly puts the dynamic duo into sulphric acid (clearly labeled). And look at the labels on the scales. It goes from "Close" to "Agony" to "K.O." to "Curtains."   And then the episode, like most of them, would always end by telling us to tune in next week to find out what happens. "Same bat time. Same bat channel."
  • This can't be good for tourism: 
  • HBO has renewed Barry for a second season. I must be a crowd pleaser. 
  • 1 Timothy 2:9: "I also want the women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety . . . ." I hope she doesn't sue me. (Or, is it One Timothy 2:9?)
  • There are 750 different felonies in Texas. I think we've got everything covered.
  • "It's not that I don't like people, it's just that I don't want to hang out with them." - Someone to me in the courthouse this week. We could be soul mates. 
  • In an embarrassing photo op yesterday, Gov. Abbott appeared in front of National Guard members to talk about border security.  "There has been an increase of more than 200% of people coming across the border without authority," he said. Someone (or probably both of them) are lying:
  • Someone said to me at the courthouse yesterday: "You don't get mad [when you don't get what you asked for], you just sulk." There's a lot of truth to that. 
  • What an incredible photo: Wilt Chamberlain, Arnold Schwarzenegger, and Andre the Giant:
  • Twenty-four buried bodies have been found at a Sugar Land, TX construction site. That city used to be home of a sugar farm where prison inmates were treated as slaves on a plantation and were forced to work for free.
  • You learn from your father: 
  • I didn't even mention the new Comey book. Despite conservative commentators begging Trump just to ignore it, the Toddler In Chief couldn't help himself. He called Comey an "untruthful slime ball" this morning. 


at 8:37 AM

4.12.2018

Making America Great Again

Based upon his Twitter comments, he excuses it as "performance art."

Edit: His account was suspended but you can still see the video here.

at 11:00 AM

What The Heck Is Going On With The Tarrant County DA's Office?


This is from the official "trial board" webpage of the DA's office.

Look at this. Five "not guilty" verdicts. I didn't think that was possible in one week. And one guy beat two assistant DAs while representing himself. Do they have any idea what they are doing? Does any one train them? Can no one spot a crappy case beforehand?
at 9:15 AM

Time Is Very Creative




at 9:09 AM

Random Thursday Morning Thoughts


  • For some reason Mrs. LL and I watched the first episode of Green Acres the other night. Let me tell you something: That was some pretty witty humor. (And I never knew that Eddie Albert's character, the guy who just walked away to live on a farm, was a lawyer who was sick of his job.)
  • This is what ethical journalism looks like: 
  • Because of job obligations, I've spent time with the Decatur Police of Chief over the last few months. I can't tell you how much I often agree with him when he fires off hot opinions. I know why he has kept his job for over 30 years -- a feat which is almost impossible in America.
  • There was an Andy Griffith Show episode where Andy walked into the house of a guy firing all around him as a "state agent" from Mount Pilot was there to monitor Andy's office. The state agent, in his suit and tie, was horrified. Andy went in, got the shooter, and walked him out without handcuffs. The agent then berates Andy because "You could have been killed!" I'm paraphrasing, but Andy says, "I've known him for years. He could shoot the ear off a flea at 30 paces if he wanted to."  That's why veteran small town police are the best police.
  • I've never understood the old white man's desire to do a "thumbs up" in a photo. Nice diversity, by the way:
  • There were six people killed in a fiery plane crash in Phoenix shortly after it took off. I find this stunning: Their ages ranged from 22 to 28.
  • Is there any fast food restaurant which serves grilled cheese sandwiches? (Asking for a friend.)
  • The Republicans have controlled the Presidency, the House, and the Senate for well over a year. An opportunity to do anything they want has turned into chaos. 
  • And we will all miss the Speaker of the House, Paul Ryan, who is running away from one of the strongest positions in American government. (He used the age old lame excuse that he "wanted to spend more time with my family.") Uh, why was he in Texas last week raising at least $4 million in fundraisers for his campaign? Can Texas Republicans get their money back?:
  • During a confirmation hearing for one of Trump's federal judges yesterday, she refused to admit that Brown v. Board of Education was correctly decided. Think about that. It is shocking.  I never thought I would see the resurrection of the Klan during my lifetime. They no longer wear white hoods.
  • There is no greater coward than an American League pitcher who intentionally hits someone. (And I love the batter who who will go after the pitcher as was the case in Boston last night. Not a bad brawl, by the way.)
  • A few years back I said that government jobs were now the best jobs. I stumbled on this from the great Texas Tribune when I was trying to look for the starting salary of a new assistant DA in Tarrant County. These figures (which are old from 2016) do not include retirement and insurance. I know some of the people on that list. I don't think they could survive in the private sector. 
  • Part of the Mark Zuckerberg testimony turned into "content control" as Ted Cruz said this: "There are a great many of Americans deeply concerned Facebook and other tech companies are engaged in a pervasive pattern of bias and political censorship." He actually was mad about Facebook "censoring" the clown car of Diamond and Silk. Has America come to this? Facebook can censor anything they want to and there is not a single thing the government can do about it. It's called the First Amendment. Cruz knows this. He's just playing the Texas voters for fools. Edit: I love the comment that said Cruz didn't mention Diamond and Silk and I was just making it up. 
  • Trump warned Russia and Syria that missiles were coming yesterday. Today he said maybe now, maybe later. Dear readers, we will end up in a thermo-nuclear war because of an unstable elected celebrity who gets up every morning, watches Fox News, and gets on Twitter. 
  • Shout to the person who pulled me aside yesterday to tip me off to government waste in Wise County. I'm on it. 

at 8:37 AM

4.11.2018

They Are All Jumping Ship


at 10:33 AM

Above The Fold



Full page PDF.
at 8:47 AM

Random Wednesday Morning Thoughts


  • Wow: The Wise County Messenger's Wednesday edition will now be free. I'll speculate that the reason is this: Can you make more money off paid subscriptions or going to potential advertisers and telling them it is being sent to 27,000 houses?
  • From the best I can tell from discovery disclosures of videos in my criminal cases, body cams are now fully or partially implemented at Decatur PD, Bridgeport PD, Boyd PD, and the Wise County Sheriff's Office. I don't think I've ever watched a video from DPS with a body cam. With their massive budget, that is surprising. 
  • His spelling is worse than mine:
     
  • I told you Zuckerberg, who suffers from anxiety, would not like testifying before Congress. This moment (photo below) had to have been frightening for him. Overall, however, he did very well.  That being said, Congressional hearings are nothing but a dog and pony show.  If I were him, I would have been so tempted to tell them, "I'm the owner of a company where I allow citizens, even you, to make money off of me. I'm a billionaire because of the private sector and American Capitalism. You are government employees who live off of my taxes and all the Facebook users who pay taxes. You are our servants but have forgotten that. Get off my ass." Then you walk out. Look back and say, "If you want to subpoena me, do it. I'll show up. Let's see how that works out for you in the next election."
  • One Congressman told him, with all America to see, "Your user agreement sucks." That may be true but that could be a scene right out of Idiocracy.
  • Trump cancelled his South American trip. Why?
  • I made this pun (the name of the album) the other day and the Females in the House told me it was an old joke. "Let me tell you where it came from," I said.
  • For you old folks familiar with the songs on the album, I happen to know an incredibly successful businessman in Decatur who broke up with his high school girlfriend (temporarily) and told her, "It's time for me to fly."  He came to his senses and has been married to her for at least 30 years. 
  • I had a brief but great discussion with someone at the courthouse yesterday about both of us retiring in the future. We both worried if we would get bored if we did. I thought it was funny that later in the day I saw that the coach of the Highland Park Scots, who had retired a month or so ago, announced that he was coming back. 
  • Oh, my!!! Fox News' Diamond and Silk attacked Ted Cruz! "Uh, huh! That's right!"
  • I'm trying to convince Mrs. LL to get a picture of us with Stormy Daniels when she comes to Fort Worth. Unless we are both lazy that day, it's a done deal. 
  • Whatever happened to Boil In A Bag meals? (I think I've got that name right.)
  • The original Roseanne was horrible. The new version is worse. And the fact that they actually use a laugh track in 2018 tells you all you need to know. (I'm ashamed that the great John Goodman would allow himself to be a part of it.)
  • I've been beaten down for years from those who say, "I don't have anything to hide. The police can search my house at any time even without a warrant."  Now those same people are upset about a good and honest man investigating Trump.
  • If Trump "fires" Mueller, which the incompetent Sarah Huckabee Sanders said yesterday he had the right to do, the Justice Department would simply ignore him and the investigation and grand jury would continue. Who do you think wins that war? I know. We have no Kings in America. 





at 8:32 AM

4.10.2018

Is This Real?




Tell me it is not real.

at 12:37 PM

Black Face: Fraternity Bros At Cal Poly Aren't Very Smart



Story (along with videos of the reaction.)

But everyone can calm down because the frat president says it "wasn't racially motivated." That settles it, I guess. (The fraternity was suspended.)
at 10:41 AM

Random Tuesday Morning Thoughts


  • The pastor of the Gateway megachurch in the metroplex underwent emergency surgery after having complications from routine hernia surgery. For some reason, his wife thought it would be a good idea to share a video of him being wheeled into surgery. (Never let a tragedy go to waste. Always be closing.)
  • That TWU murder case where the guy dismembered and burned her body near Grapevine Lake might be fascinating. Heck, I don't know what happened, but if that guy doesn't testify, he'll be convicted of murder. 
  • Where  did  this constantly advertising lawyer Ben Abbott come from? We all know that we just want to see ads from The Texas Hammer. At least he has good shtick. 
  • We've got a huge tree in the front yard which is now dead. I have a feeling it won't be cheap to have it removed. What is a ballpark cost to have a massive tree removed along with its roots?
  • Trump's  personal lawyer (once again, the dumbest lawyer in America for admitting paying Stormy Daniels $130,000 to not talk about Trump cheating on his third wife with a new baby) had his place raided by the FBI yesterday. Let's just say the sky is getting "stormy" for Trump. #RockMe
  • The "Grab Em By" Guy (left) and Stormy (right).
    Wife and Barron (not pictured.). 
  • I'm going to remind you again: Trump's trusted lawyer went to the Cooley School of Law which is widely regarded as the worst law school in America. 
  • And that high toned lawyer claims to have obtained the $130,000 by accessing his home equity line of credit. Trump's lawyer didn't have $130,000 available in cash? . 
  • Don't forget this graphic from Fox News about Special Counsel Robert Mueller. Man, they loved him in the beginning:
  • Last weekend Mrs. LL spotted a beautiful red cardinal and then handed me the binoculars she was using. I told her we were officially old since we were both excited "bird watchers."
  • Every homeowner in Texas is giddy because of their home values going up. Then they see their escrow account notice about how much their payment is going up because of the increase in property taxes. 
  • Mrs. LL, the Freshman in the House, and I had a big discussion about "advocacy." My position was that if you truly do not believe what you are saying to an audience then that audience will know you are a fraud within 30 seconds. 
  • I walked right past this lady in my lobby yesterday and didn't realize it until 30 seconds later. (She wasn't there to see me.) 
  • When I was DA, I had to testify in federal court as a records custodian in connection with an infamous case out of Wise County. The assistant U.S. attorney wanted to meet with me beforehand so I went to Fort Worth to do so. I'll never forget the last words out of his mouth as the meeting concluded: "You be careful up there." 
  • Shout out to the one Dennis Prager fan out there. His book is now outside Amazon's Top 100 and is nowhere to be found. (His book, by the way, is his attempt to explain the Bible. Prager is Jewish.)
  • That NASCAR crowd at the Texas Motor Speedway last weekend looked very small. I think that sport is in serious trouble. Remember the days when even the back grandstand was full?



at 8:37 AM

4.09.2018

Check Out Cosby's Face





at 10:15 AM

Sean Hannity vs. Jimmy Kimmel: Who Ya Got?



Honestly, I really haven't researched why they got into a war over the weekend, but I did see Hannity called Kimmel a "pervert."

And then this video was quickly uncovered. #MeToo

Kimmel, as a decent man, has backed down from the fight. Not that he wouldn't win it, but it is simply not worth his time.
at 8:53 AM

Random Monday Morning Thoughts



  • That was a freaky cold day on Saturday. I felt bad for those at Texas Motor Speedway, those who had to go to kid's baseball or softball game, and any festival that was planned.
  • I was in a Bridgeport grocery store early on Saturday morning and heard, directed at me, "Look at the big noggin' on this guy." It was a Wise County Sheriff's Office investigator.
  • There's a Bridgeport law firm who is now involved in a  Harris County lawsuit regarding Hurricane Harvey and they have a co-counsel named Muhammad Azis. I've got talk to them about the whole deal.
  • There is too much time between the primary election and the runoff election in Texas.
  • I've dogged Wise County Crime Stoppers for years. For every person placed on probation, that person pays them $50. Trust me, there is a ton of money they have collected. I've always wanted someone just to simply tell me what the balance of the account is but they won't. (However, that Messenger story about the theft the NRS did lead to a tip and an arrest.)
  • On a Ticket show on Saturday some millienals who were hosting it dogged Caddyshack because they didn't "understand the humor." We are all doomed. 
  • Oh, no! Diamond and Silk, the token African Americans on Fox News, are mad ("Uh, huh! That's right!"):

  • I don't know if Facebook "censored" them are not. If they did, there is an explanation: Facebook is a private company and can control the content in any way they wish. 
  • Here's is what you say if you are in the pulpit of a Megachurch: "You might be hurting today. You might have been passed over for a promotion at work. Your marriage might be in trouble. You might have a son or daughter who is involved with drugs.  A good friend might have said something hurtful or betrayed your trust. Your finances may be scaring you and you don't know how you will ever climb out of that debt. But let me send this message to you . . . . " It's like taking candy from a baby. 
  • If my nephew and his wife were to have a baby, what does that make me? I wouldn't be an uncle. Grand uncle? Great Uncle? Second Uncle? 
  • The end to the Astros/Padre game over the weekend was a tragic comedy. I showed it to Mrs. LL and even she said, "I want to see that again." (Tied 0-0 in the bottom of the 10th.)
  • Random thought as I was watching The Masters: I don't like Jordan Spieth, but I don't know why.
  • There is a weird double death in an "upscale" home in Collin County. Once again, cops say there is "no danger to the public" but don't tell us what happened. 
  • There was another gas attack in Syria that killed children. Warning: This is hard to watch. Our  useless bombing of their air strip with 59 Tomahawk missiles that did less damage than a Molotov cocktail (the airport was functioning again within 48 hours) didn't do much good.  #MAGA
  • And he still shot a 65 on Saturday:
  • There was a fire at Trump Tower this weekend. A person died. Firefighters were hurt.

  • Trump will be Trump in response:
  • Mark Zuckerberg will appear before a Congressional committee this week. Take this to the bank: He will have an incredibly awkward, nervous, and stumbling performance. It's not that he's not a brilliant guy, he just can't handle being in the spotlight. 



at 8:37 AM
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