It's Friday. Let's Get Out Of Here.

 The ol' switch out a real watermelon trick. (I'm a little worried about his look of anger.)

 He's not scared of his reflection. He's terrified once he learns he has no hair.

 Tap out! Tap out!

 Where have you gone Mary Lou Retton? Our nation turns its lonely eyes to you. 

Let me guess. Dopey?

Random Friday Morning Thoughts

• As of this writing, wisecounty.com is down.  The hosting company is Verio -- the worst hosting company in America. 
• We have entered the "Get off my lawn" stage:
  
• Official metroplex body count on area lakes: One drowning on Lake Lewisville, one on Lake Granbury and one of Grapevine Lake. 
• When is the last time we've had a drowning on Lake Bridgeport?
• The news keeps referring to the wild fire in Palo Pinto County as a "surprise fire." Aren't all wild fires surprises?
• Trump was off the rails last night in one of his Klan pep rallies as he offensively confused DNA testing with a Rape Kit and managed to insult the #MeToo movement at the same time.
  
• The incredibly corrupt EPA Chief, Scott Pruitt, finally resigned yesterday. But take a look at his very odd resignation letter. I kept expecting him to refer to Trump as, "Me Lord."
  
  
  
  
• A lady from Dallas has been all over the news for shooting a guy in the head (he didn't die) after he tried to steal her car with her kids inside it. That reminded me of the very odd Texas law that allows the use of deadly force when the victim reasonably believes deadly force is necessary to prevent theft during the nighttime. 
• Very random memory: Ant farms.
  
• Last night a former Thai Navy SEAL died from lack of oxygen while working on getting those kids out of the cave. That situation is going to get worse.
• I have absolutely no interest in this story.
  
• Over the last couple of days, local media tweeted/posted on their web sites about an ice cream company bringing back a product and failed to disclose it was a paid ad. Those guilty: Fox 4, WFAA, Star-Telegram, and Dallas Morning News.
• I saw one of their vans in Wise County yesterday: 
  
• I think it's weird that some people brush their teeth in the shower. 

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Random Thursday Morning Thoughts

• The challenger to Ted Cruz gets up on stage and plays with Willie Nelson. 
  
• We have a new poster child for paranoia -- a crazy Texas congressman: 
  
• Our Congresswoman, Kay Granger, thought it would be a good idea to go to Moscow to meet with the Russians on Independence Day. (And, at the end of it all, she will have spent more time in Russia than in Wise County.)
• And a Senator from Montana, also in the party visiting Russia, lied to the American public by representing he was in D.C. watching fireworks. 
  
  
  
  
• Houston has been inundated by rain this year and yesterday was no different. (Hobby Airport recorded 5.45 inches in five hours.)
  
• I am personally offended that the Dallas Morning News chose to defame Wise County on its home page this morning. 
  
• Hey, now. This isn't exactly your old and beaten down African American walking out of the courthouse after decades of being wrongfully incarcerated. Odd: She is the daughter of Frank Lucchesi who managed the Texas Rangers during the 1970s. 
  
• Oil is around $74 a barrel. Happy days are here again.
• This graphic shows that the trapped boys in Thailand are in quite the predicament: 
  
• Whatever happened to the Wimbledon men's final being played on the 4th of July? 
• I have started reading A People's History of the United States. 
• Lady hops on statue of liberty to protest Trump's immigration policies. We get to see the bottom of Lady Liberty's footwear. Bits are fun.
  
• Uh, it's your job. (And I don't think you would call it a "rescue"):
  
• The routine front page doesn't appear below because the site where I get them is down. I'll update if it comes up. Edit: Fixed

Random Wednesday Morning Thoughts

• Well, it's the 4th of July, and the hardest working man in show business is here again. 
• The Declaration of Independence has 1,458 words.
• Uh, oh. He got triggered. And (1) It is "pore" not "pour"; and (2) He never wrote a book. His "co-author", whose name is on the cover, did.
  
• Alan Diaz, who took this famous photo, died yesterday. (Side note: What was the Clinton Administration thinking?)
  
• I'm very confused by the following. Doesn't a burn ban cover fireworks? Can you declare a "disaster" as an end around before there is an actual disaster? Wouldn't this Order ban the official fireworks display that was planned for the county last night? I truly don't know what the reference to "fuel loading" means.
  
• I'm sad the good puppy dog died, but I bet they have had many "Dukes." That ad campaign has been going on a long, long time. 
  
• A new trial was denied in a a Dallas case which involves a huge verdict and a Decatur lawyer. (Now they just have to hold onto it during appeal.)
• I bet he'll hate the jail food. (He is the former co-owner of the Reata.) 
  
• This got to 2,000 acres yesterday and you could see the smoke off to the West of Wise County all day. 
  
• I don't watch Fox News that often, but have they pretty much banned "Sheriff Clarke?"
• Weird weather last night. After a day of only a mild breeze, this happened: "The wind canceled the Southlake fireworks show within minutes into the show, while other cities, Midlothian, Arlington and Waxahachie delayed their start time. One of the biggest firework shows in the country, Kaboom Town in Addison, also experienced about a half-hour delay."
• Under the radar: A police chief in a small Texas town near San Antonio (pop. 1,500) was murdered four years ago and the DA indicated she would seek the death penalty. After a new DA, and every expert saying the defendant was insane, the judge was forced to find him not guilty this week.
• Messenger: Above The Fold. (I just noticed that since the paper has gone to solely "All Around Wise" mid-week, they have relabeled it as "Volume 1.")
• "If not for me, we would now be at war with North Korea." - Donald Trump. I guess that's true. Put another way, "Since I didn't act like a madman, bad things didn't happen to all of you."
• I'm beginning to think the New York Daily News doesn't like Trump:

Random Tuesday Morning Thoughts

• I had a buddy dropped by my office with enough home grown tomatoes to feed an army yesterday. 
• Considering the fact there are a krillion cars on the road, and I've never heard of an explosion, I'm going to go with "no."
  
• Twin Peaks Biker update: Of the 155 cases indicted only 28 remain. No convictions. No plea bargains negotiated. And to add insult to injury, the Dumbest DA in the State also filed 26 civil forfeiture cases in an attempt to take bikers' property. Sixteen of those have been dismissed. No forfeitures have been successfully litigated. 
• Here is an Austin judge who is begging to be reversed: A guy is on trial for his life and the judge says, "We'll limit the trial to two weeks." Good luck with that. 
  
• NBA draftee Trae Young is a weird case. For the first half of his freshman season at OU last year, he looked like the second coming of Steph Curry. During the second half, he couldn't hit the broadside of a barn. The fifth pick in the NBA draft made his debut last night in a summer league game and went 4 of 20 overall and 1 of 11 from the three point range.
• Liberal Alan Dershowitz, who decided to be a Trump defender on Fox News to try to become relevant again, is upset that some his friends have turned on him.  “McCarthyism [has] come to Martha’s Vineyard,” he wrote in an op-ed. “Either you are for Trump or against him, and that is all some people need to know to make judgments about you . . . . I know this because I have experienced this firsthand on Martha’s Vineyard . . . . [T]hey are shunning me and trying to ban me from their social life on Martha’s Vineyard.” Oh the horror!!!! I pray that none of you get your feelings hurt while you "summer" at Martha's Vineyard.

  

  Dershowitz helping O.J. back in the day.

• But he is getting his expected beat down online:
  
• Side note: I went to Martha's Vineyard once. I took a ferry over to it and then rented a moped to explore it. I felt pretty high tone  -- at least as high tone as you can get on a moped. (And it occurred to me that place has to feel like Siberia in the winter.) 
• Mrs. LL planned to take part in some "gladiator" training this morning at 5:00 a.m. She discovered that setting the alarm for 5:10 instead of 4:10 will put a hitch in that plan. 
• It wouldn't be near as interesting if someone just stole it: 
  
• I saw this development in Allen featured in an article (probably a paid ad) in the Dallas Morning News. Look at the size of the homes, and they come on a lot that is 55 feet across. And how do people even afford that? A current 30 year fixed mortgage rate is 4.625%. So the second home on the list -- the second cheapest one -- at $464,990 has a mortgage payment of $2,391 before including the escrow of taxes (ballpark at $11,000 annually) and insurance (ballpark at $1,900 annually). So now we have a monthly payment around $3,400 per month. And be prepared for the appraised value, and thus your escrow, to only go up.
  
• Oh, throw in a couple of car payments and insurance, gas, electric bill, internet, satellite, lawn care, water bill, clothing, a little thing called food, etc. Anyone want to be a Millineal? 
• This "lady" is catching heat for killing a rare black giraffe. Her name is Tess Thompson Talley.
  
• In case I forget tomorrow, I want to remind everyone of one of the worst movies in the history of movies: 
  
  
• The discovery of the boys being alive in the Thailand cave is amazing. But now there is a huge problem of getting them out. There is some talk to waiting until the water recedes but that would be in October!

Random Monday Morning Thoughts

• Remember that story where fliers were found on cars near a sheriff's department precinct in the Houston-area and the office announced a deputy was hospitalized for possible fentanyl exposure after he touched it? Well, there was no fentanyl. 
• Ted Cruz must be worried about his election. He's coming out against a Republican Nazi:

  

  "Do I look like a Nazi?"

• This is the case where the officer fired, without justification, into a car leaving a party. Let me tell you something, if there is a jury panel of 100 people and the judge asks them how many people have heard of the case, less than 10 hands will go up. (And of those, only one or two will say they can't be fair.)
  
  
• I saw a Wise County Sheriff's office boat out at Lake Bridgeport on Saturday. I'm not sure I knew they had one. 
• I bought four reading glasses online as part of a package under $20. Each one is different. But I did have a George Costanza moment when Mrs. LL looked at me the other day and asked, "Are those women's glasses?"
• Runaway Bay had its fireworks display on Saturday. Let me register the same complaint that I do every year: Does firework technology ever change? That's the same stuff I saw as a kid.
• And the Wise County Sheriff's Office last weekend was inundated with phone calls of illegal fireworks and grass fires. Question: Does a dispatcher want to work on those days or would they prefer a slow day?
• Still a great bit: The New York Mets again made their annual payment to Bobby Bonilla of $1,193,248.20 on Saturday.  The Mets bought him out in 2000 by deferring the annual $1.19 million payments beginning in 2011 and ending in 2035. (He hasn't played baseball since 2001.)
• Trump had a another let-me-just-make-stuff-up tweet over the weekend. Could he please name one U.S. town that was liberated by ICE? (And the only gang he has ever heard of is MS-13.)
  
• I don't care about Major League Baseball but this is a weird, weird stat. Something has happened twice this year that had never happened before in the history of MLB.
  
• Michael Jackson's daughter is 20:
  
• What has happened to the second-dumbest-lawyer-in-America, Rudy Giuliani? Once he was hired by Trump to defend him in the Russian investigation, you couldn't turn on the TV without seeing him doing an interview. (Perhaps blurting out that Trump reimbursed Michael Cohen $130,000 for paying off Stormy Daniels wasn't a good start to the attorney-client relationship.)
• Where are Tarrant County valedictorians and salutatorians going to college? (Hint: Not Baylor):
  
  
  
  
• I know someone who is attending a wedding in Manhattan next week. The reception is in a hotel near Broadway and, get this: The cost of feeding the guests is $250 per plate. (Maximum of two per person.)
• Wise County Messenger: Above The Fold.