It's Friday. Let's Get Out Of Here.

 "That's my new Amazon deliver of Fancy Feast Seafood Classic Pate!

 I've got a serious decision to make!"

 Who hasn't had a delicious watermelon meal ruined by a guy with a fake head?

 Everyone has to do a bit.

 I've got an idea for an update of that Lincoln commercial with Matthew Mcconaughey turning around because of a longhorn.

 Everyone has to do a bit but some bits are better than others.

I now call foul on the nice beginning of the moonwalk 

because of a deceptively slick surface.

Random Friday Morning Thoughts

• Yesterday I had the very confusing realization that when I had heard the names of Mena Suvari and Mira Sorvino in the past that they were actually two different actors. 

  

  Not Mira Sorvino

• In light of the Supreme Court ruling last term, gambling is getting ramped up big time in America. I never dreamed I'd see this:
  
  
• This Sacha Baron Cohen special on Showtime sounds great. We already knew he had duped Dick Cheney, Sarah Palin and former politician Joe Walsh, but yesterday we learned he also got Alabama's Roy "I Like To Meet Underage Girls In The Mall" Moore. Delicious. Moore, who is the third dumbest lawyer in America, has already threatened to sue. 
  
• There was an 86 year old killed in a "bi-plane" crash in Wise County yesterday. I respect wanting to live your life with gusto, but at some point we all have to realize it is time to throttle it back a bit.
• I won't point out the Church and State issue. Nor will I point out that this man of God can't even spell one of the most popular chapters of the Bible. 
  
• Official Big 12 prediction poll (via writers) came out yesterday. Note the one first place vote for the Evil Empire. I'm guessing that was Chip Brown. 
  
• Trump told a YUGE lie back in June (below) where he claimed Kim Jong Un agreed to return the remains of American servicemen and that 200 had already been returned. Not true. How he gets away with stuff like this and his base just shrugs their collective shoulders is one of God's great mysteries. And yesterday, when there was a meeting scheduled about the issue in N. Korea, they didn't even show up. 
  
• Don't get me wrong, tossing two dolls with a noose around their necks outside of an apartment of a black family is beyond offensive, but it's actually a crime? A Grapevine man will now go to federal prison up to a year because he did it. I don't like White Nationalists using the N word either, but they have every right to say it. It's a weird line to draw. 
  
• My great lawyering skills caused all charges to be dropped against Stormy Daniels yesterday. (Well, the last part is true.)
  
• I had a call from a potential client who had talked to another lawyer before me. It was technically a felony case in Wise County, but I'm certain that it could be resolved quickly and easily and without a conviction. I told him that and quoted a fee consistent with that scenario. The other lawyer had quoted him a fee of $25,000. I told him that I didn't care if he hired me or not, but he needed to run away from the other guy who was either incompetent or crooked or both.
• The Congressional hearing yesterday where FBI agent Peter Strzok voluntarily appeared turned out to be a cluster of comedy. For a witness who should have been easy to pick on (he had texted "Just went to South Virginia Walmart. I could smell the Trump support"), Republicans Goodlatte, Gowdy and Texas' own Louie Gohmert proved they couldn't cross examine a paper bag. It was embarrassing. But my favorite part was Rep. Chris Hayes telling Strzok that "I'm a dentist so I read body language very well." Strzok then basically openly mocked him. 
  
• I don't care if my kid turned out gay, a drug abuser, an Agnostic, or an Aggie, but I would put him up for adoption if he did this: 
  
• Funny line by Brad Sham (Cowboy's play by play man) at an event last night where he and Chuck Cooperstein (Mav's play by play man) and Eric Nadal (Rangers play by play) were honored. When someone suggested they would make a good law firm, he said, "We are all Jewish guys from the North, what would you think?" 

Random Thursday Morning Thoughts

• Trump meeting with NATO summed up in one photo:

• 

  "Squirrel!"

• And this from Fox News regarding Trump's remarks a moment ago: 
  
• Chief of Staff John Kelly, who is reported to despise Trump, was obviously disgusted when Trump fired of his Germany Is Controlled By Russia comment. So how did Sarah Huckabee Sanders handle it at a press conference? She, once again, lied.  “[Kelly] was displeased because he was expecting a full breakfast and there were only pastries and cheese.” Sheesh.
• Mrs. LL is out of town and took a late flight. Once she arrived, she learned the light rail was shut down as well as all of the rental cars booths. She Ubered to the hotel only to learn her room had flooded from above. (They gave her a free room -- across town.) I think she got to bed at 4:00 a.m. 
• I've always been amazed by those massive warehouses around Alliance Airport. Well, there are going to be two more thanks to Hillwood Development: One of the buildings will have 782,000 square feet and the other will be 500,000 square feet.
• Stormy Daniels was arrested in Ohio during a performance when she allegedly fondled the breasts and buttocks of undercover officers. There were at least four undercover officers in the club. (Uh, too many cops?) This is one screwed up country. (But she takes a heck of a book-in photo.) 
  
• Papa John's founder resigns after using the N Word during a conference call. Bad pizza will never be the same. 
  
• Caviar? The government will try to seize anything. 
  
• The Pre-Season All Big 12 team is out. Odd: Tech, which hasn't played defense in the last decade, has three first team defensive players. OU has none. (Another oddity: Texas only had one player named. That tied Baylor.)

  

  That's a lot of hair.

• Ted Cruz's opponent might not beat him this time, but change is a comin'. 
  
• Tony Romo, for some reason, has agreed to do ads for an often mocked car dealership. I can't stress this enough: Romo sounds absolutely goofy. 
• Heard this the other day in light of self-driving cars soon to become common place: A child born today will never have a driver's license. 
• My Family Unit uses the Life 360 app. Based upon cell phones and GPS, we know where everyone is at any given time. You know, I don't mind that a bit. (But I would hate to be a teenager in this day and time. How are you supposed to do Hood Rat stuff like I did on the mean streets of Bridgeport?)

Random Wednesday Morning Thoughts

• Let me help you: Pick a lower arbitrary number as your goal. (Notice they didn't say they have a budget shortfall of $36,000. They are just saying they didn't make as much money as they wanted.)
• 
• I've gone full country because I've started using liver to catch catfish. The worst part is getting the catfish off the hook (maybe the nastiest fish there is with fins they use as weapons) before I chunk it back into the lake. 
• A friend of the alleged victim yesterday accused an NFL player of doing this. The post was later taken down. She better be right or she has a serious defamation case on her hands.
  
• Those new Dallas motorized scooters have their first victim:
  
• I could look at this all day: 
  
• Worth watching (and quick loading): In the 11th, an Astro batter hits a foul ball that goes straight down. Somehow it changes direction and rolls fair. The batter is just standing there, the catcher picks up the ball and tries to tag him but drops the ball. The batter then runs towards first base, the catcher has an easy play by throwing to first, but his throw beans the batter in the back of the head. Runner scores. Astros win.
• How to become a Supreme Court Judge. (Spoiler alert -- if you were at the top of your class at Stanford, UT, Michigan, or NYU you are out of luck):
  
• By all means, let's confirm him!!!
  
• I have a new ear worm after reading this: "Can’t stop reading 'Kavanaugh' to the tune of Van Halen’s 'Panama'”
• Trump managed to piss off Germany this morning. 
  
• According to the Messenger, the cost of the proposed "Bistro" inside the Decatur High School library is now at $670,000 (and rising.)  I was just lucky to have a coke machine in the hallway that wasn't empty back in the day. 
• Messenger: Above the Fold. 

Random Tuesday Morning Thoughts

• With the upcoming high school football on the horizon, nearby Diamond Hill has a chance to set a state record. They currently have 72 consecutive losses! The record is 80 held by Houston Jefferson Davis (now renamed to "Northside") set from 1985 to 1993.
• Hot news question: We haven't received the best information on the Thai Cave Boys over the last couple of weeks. Any possibility they truly didn't get over two miles into that cave? I would be real interested in an American news team exploring that cave once everyone is gone. 
• Burying the lede: As of this morning, everyone has been rescued.
• There is no more of a lie than every Supreme Court nominee saying, "My job it to interpret the law and not make law."
• Nominee Brett Kavanaugh's wife graduated from Abilene Cooper in 1993.
• If confirmed,  Kavanaugh would make history by becoming only the 107th white man to serve on the United States Supreme Court out of 113 previous justices.
• I would hope so: 
  
  
• On more than one occasion I proclaimed Baltimore Oriole (and former Texas Ranger) Chris Davis as the Official Liberally Lean MLB Player for his huge turnaround. Baltimore felt the same way and gave him a 7-year, $161 million contract in 2016. Things have taken a turn: 
  
• College Football Guru Phil Steele has released his Top 25 and Texas is at #10. The pressure begins. 
• I didn't know Trump Jr. is dating a Fox News anchor. (His wife has filed for divorce but it is not finalized. They have five kids.)
  
• And I completely missed that Fox News' Jesse Watters' wife is divorcing him after he had an affair with a 25 years old Fox employee. (He became a "rising star" after working for Bill O'Reilly who got fired for sexual misconduct.)
  
• But, in Watters defense, he is a valuable Fox employee since he routinely interviews "Diamond and Silk" and the "Party Bros".
  
  
• Everyone is bent out of shape about a guy who died in New Orleans and, before being buried, has been embalmed and on display propped up in a chair wearing a basketball jersey and sunglasses with a video game controller in his hands. (I know that I posted a photo of guy a few years back who was on display on a motorcycle.)
• Trump, on the White House lawn, before leaving for a NATO meeting this morning: “I have NATO, I have the UK, which is in somewhat turmoil and I have Putin. Frankly, Putin may be the easiest of them all.” Huh?

Random Monday Morning Thoughts

• I decided to buy Chess for Dummies and download a fee app where I can play a computer opponent which has skill levels of anywhere from Idiot to Genius. Let me tell you, I'm now able to school the Idiot like nobody's business.
• Austin had a big weekend: 
  
  
  
  
• This has to happen more often but not reported by the "victim."
  
• Kay Granger is still catching heat for frolicking in Russia on the 4th of July. It made me think about her district and how it includes a sliver of Wise County (Decatur included.) Bridgeport is represented by Max Thornberry whose district is huge. If things were done correctly, however, they both have basically the same population.
  
  
• I read about the Rangers but rarely watch them. But it did get my attention on Friday that (1) 45 year old Bartolo Colon pitched a complete game and lost, (2) The game took two hours and five minutes. I'd watch baseball if all games if they took that long.
• Then the next day Cole Hamels gave up eight runs in the first inning and was pulled with two outs. The game took over three hours.
• Got this sent to me on Saturday: 
  
• A shooting death on Saturday night at Lake Bridgeport is making metroplex news. An 80 year old allegedly complained about fireworks, went to go get his gun, a 33 year old went and got his gun*, the 80 year old came back and fired, and the 33 year old allegedly returned fire striking the 80 year old in the head. No arrest was made. I'm curious if the 33 year old had a pistol or rifle and how far he was away from the 80 year old. (*Proof that we still live in the Old West.)
  
• How's my experiment going of not allowing comments (which means I don't have to look at every single one of them) and rarely posting to Twitter? Fantastic. 
• I've been specifically asked to not use the phrase "Ted Cruz's opponent" but instead refer to him as Beto O'Rourke (who drew huge crowds in Fort Worth over the last couple of days.)
• I heard on the radio this morning a phenomena I was not aware of: Young people wearing MAGA gear just to trigger those who hate Trump. You know, kids being kids. And then it dawned on me that Texas Monthly last month had an article about how a young girl in an affluent Houston suburb was wearing Trump gear and the crazy consequences it caused. The story didn't focus on the motive for her wearing it, but it got me thinking. 
  
• This stripper got her $20,000 back after Florida police illegally searched her car. They just told her to "pop the trunk" without probable cause or consent. (And I loved this sentence from the story: “It’s amazing how something as simple as a traffic stop can lead us to crack a lot of cases,” a police spokesman told WFOR-CBS4. “A lot of serial killers are behind bars because of traffic stops." Uh, a lot of serial killers?)

  

  "I'll take it in ones and twenties, please."

• I'll ask it again: These guys on the clock? 
• 
  
• Trump, not surprisingly, got duped by North Korea. After our Secretary of State went there to see how that denuclearization was going, the Rocket Man refused to meet with him and the country later said . . . 
  
• I've written about the Collar Bomb Bank Robbery case before and was happy to see a new documentary about it on Netflix. It is still the most bizarre criminal case ever.
  
• Messenger: Above The Fold
• Fixed it based upon this morning's news: