Random Monday Morning Thoughts

• It's been two and a half weeks, but I'll finally get the adjuster-with-authority to take a look at all the damage on the house this morning. I've got a Proof of Loss in the works done by someone who knows what they are doing so we'll soon find out how far apart we are, and how easy (or hard) it was to come to a resolution. Allstate - you're on the clock. 
• State TV believes all areas south of our border are simply "Mexican."
  
• Well, the verdict is in. I'm apparently not a big jerk for questioning Michael Irvin for seeking sympathy when he was having a relatively routine biopsy.
  
• My super secret source tells me that former KXAS anchorman Mike Synder has been hired to do PR for the Tarrant County DA's office. You might remember him from his moving goodbye when leaving the station's evening newscast ("I love you, Jane") or maybe from this:
  
• Bracket update in the Liberally Lean Tourney: Some guy out of Bridgeport named David Lawson (if that's his real name) is in the lead. It looks like he wins it unless Tech beats Michigan State.
  
• Tesla founder and rich guy Elon Musk put out an autotuned rap song over the weekend about the death of Harambe. (As if the country wasn't crazy enough.) 
  
• The mysterious Chico ISD athletic saga continues. According to the Messenger, Head Coach Clayton Sanders said, “If any of it was true, we would be in handcuffs, and if any of it was true there would be proof of that. There would be repercussions. None of that is true. You’re going to hear a lot of rumors and hearsay. The proof is in the pudding. I’m still a free man and my staff is still free, from what I understand. It’s unfortunate.” Handcuffs? The school board meets about it on Wednesday.
• That's the crowd at the Texas Motor Speedway with 12 laps to go? Heck, even the backstretch used to be packed when that thing first opened. NASCAR has a problem that is getting worse. 
  
• I watched a little bit of the golf tournament in Austin just for the scenery. At one point when they cut to a shot of the river, I couldn't help but notice that 2 of the 6 boats were police boats. I don't know if they were 600 hp gunboats like DPS has, but they were definitely police boats.
  
• I'm pretty sure the Colorado river next to a high tone golf course in the middle of the day is pretty safe. In the middle of the night in this country is not: A South Carolina student goes out with friends, gets separated, calls and Uber, and is found dead the next day in a field about 100 miles away. 
  
• Speaking of the middle of the night, the bartender who beat the girl in Deep Ellum has had a transformation. He's clean shaven now and sporting an Evil Empire hoodie.
  
  
• It's April 1st so trust no one. Or as I call it, "Every day of my life." 
• It's been a while since it happened but the goofy teenage girl who playfully, but stupidly, pushed her friend off a bridge into the water causing a brief hospitalization has been sentenced: Two days in jail. That's amazingly fair.  
  
• Don't even think about getting your Rangers' hopes up. They gave up 28 runs in three games. When the American League ERA right now is 3.89, your Rangers clock in at a league worst 9.33.
  
• This is the guy who caused the Fake Voting Scandal in Texas. Talk about a swamp. 
  
• I feel OK about myself that I had never heard of Nipsey Hussle.
• Messenger: Above The Fold.