It's Friday -- Let's Get Out Of Here

Hold my beer while I do a flip.
(🎥 via @Dumbsheat ) pic.twitter.com/4SdqckwAfr

— Hold My Beer (@holdmyale) July 17, 2020

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Moment sunbathing mum narrowly escapes being crushed as tree collapses on her lounger pic.twitter.com/Fc1FmTC7gx

— The Sun (@TheSun) July 17, 2020

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Hold my beer while I ride this bike.
(🎥 via @HockeyCrazed11) pic.twitter.com/5xD131kdrf

— Hold My Beer (@holdmyale) July 17, 2020

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Because you want to see a dog eating a burrito on his human’s lap, who is also eating a burrito. pic.twitter.com/h6UCBMT5Bb

— Danny Deraney (@DannyDeraney) July 19, 2020

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Hold my beer while I show the kids this magic trick. 😂 pic.twitter.com/IDfjRzYBqA

— Hold My Beer (@holdmyale) July 21, 2020

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Random Friday Morning Thoughts

• Wise County: 34 active cases. 332 pending. 
• Texas: For the first time, due to Trump's new requirement that hospitals report to HHS instead of the CDC, we are now seeing wonky numbers on hospitalizations. Notice how they magically had a mysterious drop yesterday? That's one way to solve the pandemic problem. (If you know where to look, HHS will admit that yesterday's numbers represent just 85%-90% of hospitals reporting in Texas. That's not 85%-90% of the total number of people in the hospital, but 85% to 90% of hospitals. So we can't even estimate what the real number is. It shouldn't be this hard to get information in America.)
  
  
  
  
  
  
• I've got a theory on this one, and I feel bad even for saying that much. 
  
• This seems obvious. (But, I'll be dang, that's exactly what the order says.)
  
  
• I kind of poked fun at Bridgeport PD Chief Steve Stanford yesterday for a new picture I had seen on his Twitter profile. It just seemed a little, uh, different to me. He was a good sport and reached out to me and told me he enjoyed the mention. Then he hit me with an "Oh, by the way" message to let me know he actually had been re-creating a photo of his grandfather, Doc Whitehead.  
  
  
• I knew better than that. Whenever we see anything not fitting perfectly into our view of what "normal" should be, there's always a story behind it. I've preached that for years. #Beartrap
• I need someone to explain to me how Michael Cohen can get released from prison and placed back on home release after filing a lawsuit claiming a violation of free speech rights. From a legal standpoint, I have no idea what is going on. 
  
• The front page of the Wichita Falls paper is primarily dedicated to a high school junior who was taken off life support after a horrific traffic accident. 
  
• One of these days I'm go to take a deep dive into the conspiracy theory that The Official Liberally Lean Girl is being held against her will and medicated. 
  
• Housewives. He said, "Housewives." (And I haven't even mentioned his "Biden is going to destroy the suburbs!" campaign talking point is code for "The black man will move to your neighborhood!")
  
• If I wasn't so cheap, it would have been fun to be a DoppleRanger (at least if they would have allowed you to trick it up a bit more than they did.)
  
• I found out this morning that Jennifer Aniston's dad is the evil Victor Kiriakis from Days of Our Lives! (But I'm having a weird memory problem since Wikipedia tells me he played that character beginning in 1985, yet I would swear that I only watched the show way before that in high school during my lunch break.)
  
• Here's Dr. Fauci's first pitch in case you haven't seen it.
• Messenger: Above the Fold 

Random Thursday Morning Thoughts

• Wise County: 32 active.
• Texas is a weird mix. Record hospitalizations. Record deaths. But new cases seem to have leveled off (at a very high level.)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
• "Person. Woman. Man. Camera. TV." One of the little talked about aspects of this entire crazy monologue is that he thinks "person" would even be in a list like that. 
  
  
• Correction from yesterday: It is Paradise ISD, not Chico ISD, who has voted not to allow extracurricular participation by students who have elected the option of virtual learning. Chico votes next week. My research department regrets this error.
• Local SWAT teams were doing what SWAT teams normally do in Fort Worth and Arlington yesterday.
  
  
  
  
• Who would have guessed that Jade Helm was really named Operation Legend and run by Republicans?
  
• The only House Republicans from Texas voting yesterday to remove Confederate statues from the capitol (which passed on a vote of 305-113 were): Reps. William Hurd, Michael Burgess, Van Taylor, Dan Crenshaw, Michael McCaul and Pete Olson.
• Name this Chief of Police in Wise County: 

  

  (I'm just funnin' with him. I like the guy.)

• Speaking of chiefs of police, who is going to replace Rex Hoskins once he leaves that position in Decatur after a krillion years to become Constable of Precinct 2? (Oh, and I like him, too.)
• Mookie Betts of the Dodgers got a 13 year $392 million contract yesterday. As in all baseball contracts, because they have a union which knows what it is doing, every dime is guaranteed. 
• Random Music Thing I Learned Yesterday: Tainted Love by Soft Cell was a cover. 
• Random legal stuff: Earlier this year the Supreme Court struck down any state law that allowed someone to be convicted of a crime by a jury which was not unanimous. Louisiana was the only state still remaining which allowed it. Now the question is whether the new decision is to be applied retroactively. (How can it not be?) Anyway, yesterday I learned of the number of people who are still locked up in Louisiana because of a non-unanimous verdicts: 1,677. Good lord. 
• Random legal stuff #2: The Texas Supreme Court sent out new rules to district court judges regarding how they should round up a new grand jury in the world of the coronavirus. This is a very curious one of them: Although there has always been a fine for failing to respond to a summons to show up as a potential grand juror, judges are "encouraged" not to threaten anyone with it on the face of the summons. 
  
• The baseball season officially begins today which is a good time to remind everyone that Field of Dreams was ultimately about turning a magical baseball field in a cornfield into a tourist attraction/commercial enterprise so Ray could pay his mortgage.
  
• My radio show this morning asked this question: "Is Texas part of the South?" I think East Texas is but the rest of Texas isn't. 

Random Wednesday Morning Thoughts

• Wise County: Active cases: 40. Number sitting in a lab waiting for someone to analyze it: 399.
• Texas: We might be plateauing but, if so, we sure are doing it at a high elevation when compared to prior peaks. It'll be weeks before we get back to April numbers -- and we thought April numbers were bad. And, if that even happens, it will probably be just in time for the second wave. Oh, we still set a Texas record for hospitalizations yesterday.
  
  
  
  
• The new UIL rules for Texas high school football are a mess. 
• Delayed: 5A/6A can begin practice on September 7th with games on September 24th.
• For 4A and below, amazingly, they can fire up practice on August 3rd and begin games on August 27th.   Sheesh. August 3rd is less than 2 weeks away.
• Stricter county rules will trump any UIL rules (i.e. Tarrant County).
• From a health standpoint, I'm stunned by the go-ahead they gave the smaller schools. This is a prime example that we have no idea how to handle the pandemic. Hey, kids, are you so scared for your health that you want to opt for virtual learning from home? Fine with us. You want us to sanction you rolling around in a pile 22 sweaty guys on a field? Fine with us, too. 
• From a practical standpoint, scheduling just got turned into chaos for a lot of schools.  In early September, lots of 5A schools were scheduled to play a lot of 4A schools.
• Also factor in that schools are allowed to ban sports participation if a student opts for a virtual classroom. (Chico Paradise ISD had done this.)
• Fan seating is to be at 50% with appropriate distancing. Good luck with that. We all know the most reasonable people in the world are the parents of high school athletes when they attend little Johnny's game.
• The UIL will change its mind at the drop of a hat. Get ready.
  
  
• Thoughts and prayers to anyone in any position of authority who has to make opening/closing decisions during this pandemic. I wouldn't want your job. 
• How did he screw up this softball question?
  
• The New York Times has another corruption scoop. Back in the day what used to be a scandal which would rock a presidency to its core will now just fade into the background in 48 hours.
  
• Last night the Colorado Rockies did a bit on Twitter taking a shot at your Texas Rangers' new ballpark. They soon deleted it. Come on, that was funny. 
  
• An "And Another" who just happened to be Miss Kentucky 2014 was sentenced to two years in the hoosegow.  
  
• Vikings PR guy: "I've got an idea. Let's create a way where our fans can create a split screen of them catching a virtual pass from our QB at training camp. What could go wrong?"
  
• This was on the cover of the Star-Telegram home page. I'm very confused about this photo and wonder where it is from. I see a lack of uniforms, a possible tackle despite the lack of pads, a holding penalty, odd and inconsistently used headgear, and some conditioning issues. (My detective work indicates it is from Kennedale.)
  
• Sad to see the obituary of Edna Fitzgerald in the local paper. For years, she was a sweetheart of a lady who, at the Wise County Jail, would work the front desk and treated everyone who walked in with respect and a smile.  She'd actually yell, "Barry!" at me every time I walked through the door. Then she'd give me the business for all the trouble I was causing. 
• Messenger: Above the Fold

Random Tuesday Morning Thoughts

• Wise County new numbers: 33 active cases.  It's your call if you want to accept it as accurate. 
• Texas. I'll just go with the active cases chart today. The last two days are from the weekend, so we are now resetting for this week. I think we will begin to flatten out, but then I noticed this last weekend's numbers were higher than the weekend before, and those were higher than the weekend before that.  
  
• Hidalgo County has ordered its own lockdown. Technically, it can't under our current emergency power hierarchy. 
• California has officially moved  high school football to the spring. 
• I keep waiting for the hammer to drop because of the economic crunch in Texas due to the combo oil/coronavirus crisis. Yesterday brought news that we are finally beginning to see it. 
  
• This is what happens when someone finally convinces you that every decision you've made has been a disaster. (He once mocked a reporter for wearing a mask as just trying to be "politically correct.")
  
• They are going to have to drag him out of the White House in January.  One thing is absolutely true: If he loses, there is no way he attends the inauguration of Joe Biden. 
  
• If you think that one day a coronavirus vaccine will be announced, everyone will take it and, voilà, crisis over, you're kidding yourself. Just wait until you see all the nut cases as well as the conspiracy theorists who claim that the vaccine is nothing more than a diabolic government plot.  And the percentage of our population which qualify as a nutcase is at least 30%, right?
• I'm really confused by the Law and Order crowd these days. The local DA in Missouri said he would prosecute these two for recklessly point a firearm at  another. And before the process could even begin, the AG announced he's "entering the case to seek a dismissal" and the governor announced he'll pardon them if convicted.  
  
• I've got a stack of criminal cases on my desk where I think my guy is getting screwed over. Is there some process in Texas that I'm not aware where I can just ask the AG or Governor to preemptively kill the cases? 
• Speaking of Law and Order, Gabe Kapler better be careful. The new norm is to have mysterious federal agents snatch you up and shove you in an unmarked SUV because you are perceived to speak ill of the state. 
  
• There's been a fake tweet by AOC which has been going around for weeks. Just when I thought people can't be any more gullible, Fox News Brian Kilmeade spread that literal fake news last night. 
  
• Fox News is having a bad week.
  
• UT announced they will go with a 50% capacity for home games this fall. That seems extremely optimistic. Or apocalyptic. 
• I'm a (weird) fan of stadiums and often brag about the many of them I've been to. (I need a montage.) Anyway, here's the latest look for the new SoFi Stadium in Inglewood which will be home to the Rams and Chargers. There's a lot going on there. It's a pretty high resolution photo is you want to click on it. 
  
• With the Rangers' new ballpark having its soft open today with the a/c blasting, look at this chart I stole from the Dallas Morning News.
  
• The killer of the federal judge's son in New Jersey has killed himself. He has quite the background: He's a self-proclaimed "anti-feminist" lawyer, and spent his first years out of law school with one of the largest law firms in the nation. 
  
  
  
   
• I was watching Community last night when all the characters were in a psychiatrist's office. One said,  "He's crazy but not Robin Williams crazy." That was a "Whoa!" moment. I had to check the episode's air date: May 10, 2012. Williams committed suicide on August 11, 2014.